Hunger
by mm-chan
Summary: Gaara has enough problems without Naruto's continuous attempts to make friends. The demon shadowing his life is his brother and he cannot see an escape of it. But Kankuro, too, has his own demons to deal with. KankuGaa, GaaNaru, AU, yaoi, INCEST, NON-CON.
1. Carved up

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, **VIOLENCE**, **INSANITY**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.  
**Note:** Thoughts are in _italics_.  
**Summary:** Gaara has enough problems without Naruto's continuous attempts to make friends. The demon shadowing his life is his brother and he cannot see an escape of it. But Kankuro, too, has his own demons to deal with.

* * *

**A/N:** _This story contains __**ABUSE**__, __**NON-CONSENSUAL**__, __**INCEST**__, __**VIOLENCE**__ and __**INSANITY**__, so if those themes make you feel bad, then please don't read. I will put proper warnings in the beginning of each chapter so that you'll know what material the said chapter contains._

_I'm writing this story for personal reasons. In a way I attempt to get some things out of my mind so that they wouldn't haunt me anymore. This story is dark (not all the time, though) but don't hate me for thar, because I put a lot of myself into this story._

* * *

**Chapter 1: Carved up**

The cellar was dark but there was still enough light to paint. Gaara dipped the brush in paint and traced the paintbrush along the canvas, transferring the images in his head to the painting. The unfinished picture portrayed a half-rotten male body lying on a pier.

He glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing it was already 7:15 a.m. The red haired boy had slept quite well at first but had woken up at four in the morning. The rest of the sleepless night he had spent mostly painting, not noticing the time slip by.

"I've got to hurry if I wanna be on time..." Gaara muttered, putting the painting tools away.

The 16-year-old boy knew all too well that the teachers in Konoha High were strict and wouldn't look the other way if he offended the laws of the school in any way, like, being late for class. He already had a bad reputation at school due to his looks and antisocialness, and therefore he wasn't going to worsen his situation by getting detention.

He thought a bit envily of his two years older brother, Kankuro, who had been a model student at school. Unlike Gaara, the older brother was well liked and had many friends, thus having gotten many job offerings after graduation this spring. Currently, the more popular of the brothers was working in a café in the centre of Konoha, working long hours to provide for the two of them.

"He was never scolded for being late," the redhead grumbled to himself.

Just because Gaara wasn't on top of his every class, the teachers easily considered him either lazy or stupid. He never sought out for trouble but was sometimes forced to engage in fights, started by some too self-confident students. Because the redhead always tended to win those fights, it was easy for the teachers to blame him without further investigation.

Kankuro and Gaara had always been close, for they shared the same past and understood each other. In their childhood Kankuro had always defended and protected him from the horrors that happened at their home, and for that Gaara was eternally in a dept of gratitude for him.

"Almost ready to go," Gaara murmured as he put studded collar and chains on his neck.

Looking at the small mirror on the wall he brushed some of his hair aside, revealing a red kanji meaning 'love' tattooed on his forehead. His black rimmed, jade green eyes scanned the room, finally finding what he was looking for. His black bag was laying half under his bed. He grabbed it and headed up the stairs out of the cellar.

"Damn, I doubt I have time to even drink my morning coffee," Gaara groaned in annoyance, glancing at the clock one last time. The redhead was in the hallway, hand on the knob of the front door, when Kankuro came to him.

"Morning, Gaara," Kankuro said slyly as he walked closer.

"Yeah, morning Kankuro. Is there any fresh coffee in the pot?" the redhead asked, planning to have a take-away drink.

"Sorry, there's none, but I know what'll please you instead. I have a day off, you know," the older brother said as he laid his hand on Gaara's shoulder and pushed him back first to the wall.

"K-Kankuro..."

Kankuro's hands slid down to Gaara's waist, slightly rubbing the boy's sides. He then lowered his mouth to the redhead's ear, biting the lobe tenderly. The younger brother gasped at the sudden intimacy. He put his hands on Kankuro's chest, pushing him away.

"Look... I have to go to school. I'll be late if I don't hurry. We can't do this now..." the redhead said, looking at his brown haired brother.

Kankuro gazed at Gaara, his black eyes hardening. He grabbed Gaara's arm and prevented the teenager from leaving.

"When will you be back?"

"About 3 p.m.," Gaara answered, yerking his arm to get rid of the uncomfortable grip.

A smirk spread on Kankuro's face as he released the hold. His black eyes weren't disappointed anymore but now held a glimpse of satisfaction.

"Don't be late," he said.

Gaara only nodded at his brother before he slid out of the front door. Now, after the distraction, he had to walk briskly if he was going to make it in time. He didn't like the look Kankuro had given him. He could swear his brother had not liked his objection but he didn't have a choice. Sometimes he hadn't left for school but stayed with Kankuro instead and it had brought him problems at school.

The redhead exited the old, large house which their now 20-year-old sister Temari had abandoned, when she had moved out to a city named Suna two years ago.

When the siblings were kids, their whole family had moved from Suna to Konoha. For Temari, Konoha had never felt like home and that's why she had thrived back to Suna - at least she had said so before leaving. Doubting the reason, Kankuro and Gaara thought it was just an excuse to escape the haunting memories dwelling in the house they lived in.

Sometimes Gaara missed Temari and wished she hadn't left. After the brothers were left alone, their relationship had become much too intimate than the norms of the society would allow. The redhead wasn't sure though if their big sister's presence would've prevented certain things from happening. It was needless speculation and Gaara rather didn't dwell on 'what ifs'. He liked to concentrate on the future more than the past. At least he tried even though from time to time, he was forced to face the horrible memories from years back.

The redhead checked his cell phone to see what time it was. He still had time, he would not be late, get a detention and piss off his brother waiting for him to get home.

"Wait!" someone shouted and Gaara could hear footsteps behind him.

A blond, cheerful boy ran to catch him up, a wide smile spread across his face. He was wearing a bright orange T-shirt and black baggy pants and there were whisker-like scars on his face.

_Oh great_, Gaara thought. He didn't want more distractions to prevent him from being on time. Surely the blond was just another idiot who had the need to meddle in his business, asking questions about the black clothes he favored or the unique tattoo on his forehead.

He usually didn't care about people's curiosity but today, he was not going to spend his precious time in teaching a lesson to a stranger. Clenching his fist and ready to tell the boy to get away from him, the smiling boy started to speak in a friendly voice.

"Gaara was it? I'm Naruto!" the guy introduced himself.

Come to think of it, Gaara had seen the boy at school. He was usually hanging around with his friends who often shot dark glances at the redhead. To Gaara, they looked like they were one of those people who believed the numerous rumours spread about him. He decided best not to answer the boy, since he didn't know the motives behind the blond's act.

"You aren't very talkative, are you?" the boy went on, walking beside Gaara and holding his hands behind the back of his head.

"I live near your house, I've often seen you going to school," the lively blond continued the one-sided conversation.

Still no answer came from the redhead. Getting no reply didn't seem to upset the boy. Naruto just grinned openly, as if nothing could get him down, not even Gaara's indifference and quietness.

"So, you live with your brother? You sure have a big house for only two people," Naruto rattled on, glancing at Gaara every now and then.

Gaara was becoming annoyed at the sudden company and on-coming questions. It was no wonder that this Naruto knew he lived with Kankuro. After all, only a few months back the brothers had gone to the same school and nowadays, many students visited the café his brother worked in. To Gaara's knowledge some girls even flirted with Kankuro, who flirted back only if it advanced selling cappucinos or other products the café had to offer.

In the redhead's opinion Kankuro was labeled handsome in the standards of their society. Maybe that was why so many people seemed to like the brunette at first sight and were eager to talk to him. Gaara thought that he and Kankuro were actually quite alike if you looked hard. Their eyes had a similar shape and their features were alike but still no one had ever said Gaara was handsome, not that he cared.

The redhead thought briefly of the house he lived in. The place never felt like what a home should be like. It was all but homey - rather unpleasant and depressing. The house was indeed very large for two but when they had moved into Konoha, their family had been bigger. His father, uncle, sister and brother had inhabited the house with him before some unfortunate events of the past.

"It's none of your business," Gaara replied harshly, not caring to even glance at the blond teen beside him.

He didn't want to talk about anything that referred to his home or family. They were almost on the school grounds and soon he would get rid of the blond, hopefully forever. He didn't want the boy's company.

"Hey, no need to be rude. I just wanted to stir a conversation," Naruto said, not taking the comment personally.

"Just stay away from me," Gaara grunted, hoping the blond would get the hint.

Naruto got the hint indeed but didn't care about it. He decided to change the subject to something more neutral.

"What do you have first? I have math. Oh man, I just hate math..." Naruto said in a bored voice.

Why would he tell the boy what kind of schedule he had? It was none of the stranger's business. Was this a part of some prank?

"Why are you suddenly so interested in me?" Gaara asked, directing his ominious gaze to the blond's friendly-looking blue eyes.

Naruto averted his gaze in fear that his eyes would reveal more than he wanted to. The intense stare of the redhead made him uneasy and he prayed he didn't blush. Forcing the usual grin to his face, he finally looked back at the redhead.

"Why do you need a reason? I just felt like getting to know you. I mean, you seem to live near my house and stuff," Naruto said.

Gaara didn't answer but gave Naruto one of his piercing stares. The blond didn't seem like lying but the redhead knew better than to trust the first impression.

"Well, I'll see you after school so we can walk back home, if that's okay," Naruto said in a cheerful voice before vanishing so quickly Gaara had no time to object. _Goddamnit_, the redhead thought. He wondered what was wrong with that guy, suddenly paining him with unwanted company.

Didn't the boy know about the rumours being spread at school? That the redhead was a devil worshipper, a monster, a freak? To put it simply, a person to be avoided. It was even said that his hair was so red because he drank blood. He almost laughed. He had no idea where those rumours had started.

* * *

"Naruto, wait!" a brown haired boy yelled at the blond, catching him before they entered the class.

The boy's hair was unruly and there were red, fang-shaped marks on his cheecks. There was an ever present, animalistic look in his eyes, as if the boy was always ready to pull a prank.

"Morning, Kiba," Naruto said, flashing him his trademark grin as they picked their seats in the classroom.

"Yeah, whatever. I was just chatting on the yard with Sasuke when you came around. Listen, Naruto, were you just hanging around with that freak?" the boy named Kiba asked in a serious voice.

Naruto's heart chilled at the mention of Sasuke. His smile disappeard quickly as he thought about the black haired boy who had onyx, abysmal eyes and an ever present, arrogant look on his face. Naruto tried to force the memories out of his head. It was not Kiba's fault what had happened between them and therefore he had no reason to show his anger to the brown haired boy. Concentrating on what his friend had asked him, he forced out an answer.

"Come on, he lives in my neighbourhood so I thought it would be okay to walk with him to school," the blond said, annoyed.

Everyone was avoiding Gaara's company like a plague and it was no surprise Naruto's friend was worried, seeing him voluntarily spend time with the redhead.

"You should be careful. You know about the rumours, don't you?" Kiba continued warily. He was worried why his blond friend suddenly showed interest in the freakish redhead.

"They're just rumours!" Naruto yelled, unable to keep the annoyance from his voice, knowing where this was going. "Don't tell me you actually believe them, Kiba. I mean, no one can seriously say Gaara is a vampire or something as absurd as that."

Kiba said nothing but instead gave Naruto a studying look. Naruto huffed. The mention of Sasuke had upset him and he wasn't in the mood of dealing with stupid worries about his choice of companion. Naruto had only walked with the redhead to school and was already disfavored because of the fact.

It was a taboo to befriend the unpopular students like Gaara and clearly Naruto had violated that unwritten rule. _Like I care_, Naruto said to himself. He spent time with anyone he pleased. He understood Kiba was worried but he didn't like the tone his friend had when he spoke about Gaara. Surely Gaara was no freak... Naruto knew what it was like to be an outcast but he didn't expect Kiba to understand.

"Just be careful, okay. Remember what happened last time you tried to approach one particular person," Kiba said, looking away. Naruto hit the desk with his palms, causing some nearby sitting students to give him curious glances.

"What!?" the blond said loudly, his mouth hanging open.

"Y-You don't think I'm hanging out with him because I... because... of the same reasons I had with Sas... with that idiot?" Kiba gave him a wary look, staying silent. That annoyed Naruto even more.

"Look, Kiba, is there something wrong if I want to make new friends? I know what people think about Gaara. He has no friends, and I know what it's like to be left alone. I just don't want anyone to feel the way I did before," Naruto said in a piqued voice, wanting to make his point clear and to get to the next topic. He wasn't going to listen to Kiba complaining about this all day long.

"Naruto... There's a reason why he has no friends. Are you sure it's wise to approach him?" Kiba spoke, burying his head on his math book to hide his emotions which were surely displayed all over his face. He didn't want Naruto to see how hurt he felt.

Why did Naruto have to take interest in cold, harsh and arrogant guys? Why didn't he ever notice the nice people around him? Naruto never noticed Kiba, not more as a friend anyway. Jealousy crawled into Kiba's mind as he thought about the redhead. What did Naruto see in him?

Naruto only growled as an answer, unaware of Kiba's mental pondering. He rested his head on his hands, forcing the thoughts of Sasuke out of his mind.

After the math lessons Naruto headed to history class. He sat next to a bored looking boy who had a high ponytail and dark brown hair. Swinging his school bag next to his desk he gave his friend a pensive look.

"Shikamaru... Why do people butt into other people's business?" Naruto asked, his voice quiet. Shikamaru looked back at him and after giving a thought to his friend's question, spoke in a even tone.

"I dunno... People are like that. Why do you ask?"

It was rare to see Naruto this dispirited. Usually the blond was full of energy. Even his blue eyes seemed to be darker and there was not even a trace of smile on his face.

Not caring to give Shikamaru all the details, Naruto finally said, "Kiba thinks I should avoid Gaara. He says it'll end up the same way like with Sasuke... I just wanted to walk to school with him 'cause he looks so lonely." With that said, the blond put his head on the desk, covering his face with his arms.

Shikamaru tried to figure out the whole story despite the gaps. He really didn't care to get involved in other people's personal affairs but he couldn't bear seeing the blond so crestfallen. It would be too troublesome to have to sit the whole class through with a depressed Naruto.

"Did he push you away?" he asked.

Naruto lifted his head to look at the other boy. "Not really... He was awfully quiet, though."

Shikamaru pondered what to reply, finally coming to a conclusion. "I think you should do what you feel is right, Naruto. If you want to hang around with him, then do it. People will always criticize you, whatever you'll do. If I were you, I wouldn't care."

Naruto gave him the faintest of smiles, eyes lighting up a little. He didn't reply but felt his mood getting better after what his friend had said. Naruto could always rely on Shikamaru when it came to problem solving - the guy was a genius at that. Otherwise the lazy boy seemed to give no effort on anything, claiming that everything was too troublesome in a way or another.

"Thanks," Naruto said to him at the end of the class, giving him a friendly grin before leaving.

Yes, it was better not to care what people said. Almost as happy as ever, Naruto stormed to his next class, eagerly waiting to see the redhead at the end of the day.

* * *

After the classes, Gaara was heading home, glad about school being over for the day but cautious about what waited him at home. Kankuro had been in a good mood in the morning and Gaara found himself wondering if he was still feeling the same way.

Naruto exited the school building only to see the familiar redhead walking out of the school gates on the yard.

"Hey, wait Gaara!" he shouted. At the moment, he didn't care if someone thought badly of him because he tried to befriend the loner.

Gaara had already forgotten the blond and was surprised when Naruto started to walk with him.

"So, how was your day? Mine was totally boring! First I had math, then history and science, and after the break, geology. Can you imagine?" Naruto huffed, grinning.

Gaara wondered why the blond was so interested in talking to him. Was this a prank, after all? He was ready to defend himself with fists, if needed. Hoping he wouldn't get into a fight, he decided it would be better to check up this Naruto guy's motives.

"Just what the hell is wrong with you?" Gaara snapped, unable to stand the unsureness why he was suddenly taken interest in.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, dumbfounded.

"What are you after? You wanna pick a fight or something?" Gaara retorted, gripping the blond's front and pulling their faces and inch away each other. His jade green eyes were cold with fury and doubt, as he stared daggers in the soft blue eyes of the perplexed blond.

"N-No..." Naruto stuttered in shock. Sharpening up, he put his hands to the red haired boy's shoulders, ready to push him away.

"I just felt like talking to you, that's all," Naruto said in a clear, determined voice. "Now let go of me or you'll have the fight you're so eager after!" he then said, his blue eyes soft no more but sharp and studying.

Staring coldly at the other boy, Gaara loosened the grip with a 'hmph'. He pushed Naruto backwards as he finally let go of the shirt.

"Don't mess with me," Gaara spat and started to walk again. He was more than annoyed by now. He didn't exept the blond to follow him but was surprised when the blue eyed boy caught him up again.

Gaara didn't say a word. Who would have thought that this Naruto was so stubborn?

Naruto was quiet, too. He was glad they didn't get into a fight. The redhead's attitude was getting on his nerves. _I mean, how many people start threatening you with violence when you try to get to know them?_ the blond wondered by himself. Forcing the annoyance out of his mind, he decided to start talking, widening his mouth to a friendly smile once again.

"I live alone in a small house. Before, I used to live with Iruka, who adopted me when I was a kid. He was the nicest guy in the world, believe it! Everyone liked him," Naruto told as he looked at the quiet boy.

Now, Gaara was mildly surprised about two things.

Firstly, the blond had begun to babble again as if nothing had happened. _Just how stubborn can you get?_ Gaara pondered. He had clearly pointed out that he was in no need of company. The blond just didn't seem to get it.

Secondly, he hadn't known that the other boy lived alone. If he was correct, the blond was at the same age as he was. Curious. How could he manage all by himself?

"What happened?" the redhead asked.

Naruto didn't reply for a moment but when he spoke, his voice was serious and it held a hint of sadness.

"He passed away an year ago."

Gaara didn't say anything. He knew how it felt like to lose a family member but that was a thing the blond didn't need to know.

"But I'm fine, I can take care of myself!" Naruto said with a wide smile, his big eyes thinning into slits.

The change in mood had been so quick it almost seemed forced. After all, the redhead had learnt to be very good at sensing people's moods. _What a weird guy_, Gaara thought. How could anyone be so happy all the time, or pretend to be, was a mystery to him. He believed some of Naruto's smiles were fake, like he was trying to assure everyone that everything was fine. The redhead didn't understand that kind of behavior.

Gaara never smiled. In his opinion, smiling was in vain. Sometimes he smirked to himself when something amusing came by but it was rare. In some worse days of his life, he had become familiar with Kankuro's evil smiles which matched his coal black eyes glinting hungrily. It was a combination he wanted to avoid.

Naruto's smiles, however, were totally different. It seemed that Naruto could easily smile and be friendly to everyone. Now that the redhead thought back on it, he didn't remember Naruto calling him 'freak' or 'monster' even though his friends sometimes did, not that Gaara cared.

"This is it!" Naruto exclaimed happily.

Gaara stared at him, not really understanding what the other was saying. He had been so deep in thought he had missed most of Naruto's rattling.

"What?" Gaara asked.

"My house," the blond said proudly. It was an old, small brick house with a small yard. It looked cozy and friendly even though the grass was long.

"I have to cut the lawn, it's not my favorite task as you can see," Naruto laughed, turning to go inside.

"Well, see ya!" he yelled before opening the front door and vanishing inside.

Naruto's house was only a couple of hundred yards away from his, Gaara noticed. He shook his head and continued walking home.

Inside the house, Naruto leaned his back on the door and let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He had done it. He had talked to Gaara and he had left him intact, after all. Though the grip on his front had been uncomfortably tight, matching the vicious look in the green eyes. The boy sure was quiet, making it hard to engage him into a conversation.

Naruto had often seen Gaara walk past his house, alone in his black outfit. The sight had always brought sadness to Naruto's mind, as he remembered how his childhood had been like. His parents had been looked down on, and after their violent death everyone had seemed to pick on him, as if assuming him to grow up to be like his father.

The blond had tried harder than anyone to get acceptance, to get even one friend to spend time with. When Iruka had finally taken him under his wing, the public attitude towards Naruto had somewhat softened, making it possible for him to socialize at school.

In Gaara he saw a reflection of his former self, an unpopular loner, except the difference that the redhead didn't seem to seek anyone's approval. Naruto wondered if he could befriend Gaara - would the boy let him close? He wouldn't know without trying.

His plan was to get the redhead out of his shell and make friends with him, taking the risk that the redhead might push him away. In the back of his mind a sly voice asked him if he was only seeking for a friendship but Naruto tried to smother it.

Memories of another boy, a black haired one, flooded into his mind, reminding him how the boy had toyed with his feelings, only to dump him soon after. His heart had broken and for a while he had had second thoughts about wearing his heart on his sleeve so freely.

Being honest to himself, the redhead was appealing to him. Gaara wore tight clothes, bringing out his slim body. The red hair made him look wild, the black rims around his eyes gave contrast to his jade green eyes. His skin was like cream, flawless and soft-looking. Naruto sighed at the image, only to realize a second later what he had been thinking of.

Shaking the thoughts off vigorously, Naruto climbed to his bed to take a nap, pulling the blanket over his shoulders and soon dozing off. Without him being aware of it, the pleasant images creeped back to his mind, forming into vivid dreams which Naruto couldn't remember when he woke up.

* * *

At the same time the object of Naruto's dreams was pushed against the cellar door, nothing but tight black boxers on, his other clothes laying ripped on the floor. Kankuro had his red hair in a thight grip, not giving him a chance to move.

When Gaara had come home earlier, his brother had been in the attick rummaging around. Curious, he had gone to see what was going on. He hadn't had a chance to ask what the older brother had been looking for, when he had noticed some old photos scattered on the floor. Hadn't they burned all their family pictures before? It seemed they hadn't...

Knowing instantly it was better to get away as soon as possible, Gaara had burst towards his only refuge, the cellar. At the door, Kankuro had caught him. He had seen a glimpse of the brunette's eyes but even without looking at him, he knew that the rare, insane glint was there.

It had been five months since Kankuro was this screwed up. Back then, Gaara had ended up beaten with bruises all over his body. He didn't want to endure the same fate again tonight but all he could do was to try to speak his brother out of this. After all, he couldn't fully blame him. This was not Kankuro's fault alone but mostly of their uncle. Even though he was dead, his actions seemed to haunt over their lives as lively as years before.

"Gaara, do you know what love is?" Kankuro asked, his voice unsteady.

Gaara gulped, pondering what he should answer to the mad question. He had grown up without being loved and that's why the feeling in question was somewhat alien to him, despite the fact that he had a tattoo referring to it on his forehead. The only kind of love he had ever known was the one he received from Kankuro. He was sure it was love, if love was meant to include confusion, submission and secrecy. To Gaara, love was very complicated. It felt wrong and right at the same time.

Knowing that all the answers might lead into the same outcome, he finally whispered, "Love... is complicated."

It was an honest opinion but he doubted it mattered right now. Kankuro's grip tightened in his hair, pulling Gaara's head back.

SMACK!

The sound echoed in the hallway as the younger male's head smashed to the door. The redhead let out a cry of pain, unable to hold it back. The smack had been so forceful it made his forehead bleed, leaving stains on the door.

"No... love is simple," his brother answered, madness clearly echoing in his voice.

"I'll show you!" Kankuro said, dragging Gaara to the kitchen and throwing him into the corner.

Leaning against the cupboards, the redhead watched in horror as his brother took out a knife. He had no time to flee, when the brunette came face to face with him. Kankuro put the tip of the knife on Gaara's stomach. The tension in the redhead's body increased ten-fold as he felt the cold metal on that sensitive area.

"Kankuro, put that knife away," Gaara started as calmly as he could, desperate to get away from the situation. The words didn't seem to have any effect on his brother.

"Kank-" Gaara started again.

"Don't move," the brunette interrupted.

_Like hell am I going to move at a moment like this_, the defenseless redhead thought. Pushing the blade, Kankuro made a thin slash on the pale skin. It started to bleed, making Gaara sickened at the pain and the sight of his own blood. Not even daring to breathe, he bit his lip and watched as Kankuro started another slash.

It hurt so much that Gaara had hard time not to react. He wanted to scream, shout or push the crazed brunette away but he didn't dare, not now when Kankuro was armed and unstable.

Slowly, the pattern on his stomach started to remind the kanji meaning 'love'. Utterly disgusted, Gaara had to close his eyes. The knife was pushed a little too deep, causing the redhead to cringe. The slashing stopped.

Gaara opened his eyes and yet another shock came to him. Kankuro placed the tip of the knife between his little brother's eyes, staring at him angrily. The brunette's hand shook a little, unnerving Gaara even more. The redhead didn't know which gods he should pray to not to let the blade slip away into his eyes.

"I told you not to move," Kankuro said with a cold fury in his voice.

Gaara gulped, not thinking it as movement. Anger flashed in his brother's eyes and that was the only warning he got.

"Don't move!"

The shout rang in Gaara's ears as the knife was roughly slapped to the cupboard door, not even an inch away from Gaara's ear. He was sure his heart had stopped from fright and he didn't even dare to blink his eyes. He stared at the brunette's black, unmoving eyes, not seeing a trace of his brother's normal self.

His brother was like another person and Gaara thought Kankuro could even kill him in his current state of mind. Pulling the knife away, Kankuro gripped Gaara's left hand, slashing it without a second thought. The cut was too deep, making the redhead let out a cry of pain. It was too much... it had to end now. Trying to win his own fear, the green eyed boy forced himself to speak.

"S-Stop! I'm not h-him! I'm not!"

As if not believing a word, Kankuro made another cut, hands trembling and emotions crossing in his eyes a hundred miles per minute. Had Kankuro even heard him? He was not stopping... Having no choice, Gaara kicked his brother in the stomach, making him fall on his back.

Gaara got up and was ready to run, when he shouted to his brother. "Snap out of it! I'm your b-brother, not _him_!"

Almost kicking Kankuro to the face in order to get him to his senses, he saw the sudden change of emotion in the coal black eyes. Slowly, the insane glint seemed to fade away while being replaced by realization.

The redhead backed off. Dumbfounded, Kankuro looked at Gaara as if seeing him for the first time. Glancing at the blood covered skin, he made a puking gesture and stormed to the bathroom. Not staying to wait for Kankuro to come back, Gaara rushed into the cellar, his breathing still uneven and shock written all over his face. Sitting on the floor and leaning to the wall he thought what had just happened.

Remembering the bleeding cuts all over his body, he grabbed the bed-sheet and tore it into bands. Wrapping the bands up his wounds, he decided it was best to distract himself of the haunting thoughts. Picking up the brush, he was about to continue the painting left unfinished earlier this morning. Painting turned out to be impossible, thanks to his trembling hands.

Sitting back on to the floor, Gaara listened to the silence around him. Not daring to drift off to sleep he stayed awake, wishing it would be morning already so that he could get out of the house.

* * *

After long hours of waiting, it was finally 6:20 a.m. Gaara had not slept a minute. To tell the truth, he had partly been too afraid to even close his eyes. Normally Kankuro was reluctant to enter the cellar but after the mental breakdowns he was a bit unpredictable.

Gaara yawned, feeling tired. Even though he was an insomniac, the hours spent awake last night and the night before were taking their toll. He was hungry, since the last time he ate was at school the day before. Ignoring his stomach, he climbed up the stairs and listened carefully before opening the door. He couldn't hear a thing. Hoping Kankuro was sleeping and not lurking in the shadows, he opened the door and went to take a shower.

He disinfected his aching wounds and collected the ripped clothes from the hallway floor. Luckily, his favorite jeans were not torn. He threw them down the cellar stairs before heading to the kitchen. There, he dropped the shreds into the trash bin. The kitchen was dark, its dark brown walls almost black in the scarce light of dawn.

"You want some coffee?" came a quiet whisper behind Gaara's back.

Swinging around, the redhead saw his brother sitting at the table and looking out of the window. On the table, there were two mugs and a coffee pot. All senses sharpening, the younger male studied the atmosphere. Was his brother back to normal? Afraid that the events of the night would happen again, Gaara stayed where he was, not making a move towards the table.

"I'm sorry," Kankuro whispered in a barely audible voice. Gaara stared at him.

"I just lost it. I shouldn't have gone to the attick... I was looking for my old CDs to sell them..." the brunette spoke. He was perching on his chair like the dead weight of the world was on his shoulders.

Kankuro didn't seem to be dangerous and so Gaara moved slowly to sit in front of him. Pouring coffee into the empty mug, Kankuro handed it to the redhead. They sat in the semi-darkness, waiting for the sun to rise and the world to wake up.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" the redhead asked, sipping his black coffee. Kankuro rubbed his eyes, staring at the empty mug on his hands.

"I couldn't."

He had been up all night, sitting in corners the faint light of the night couldn't reach and mulling things over and over again in his mind.

He had been thinking about what had just happened, not quite remembering. He had thought about events of the past, not really wanting to remember. The thoughts and feelings had started to swirl in his head like a whirlwind and when all logic and common sense seemed to vanish in the depths of the mental vortex, he had been sure he had lost his ability to think rationally. He had been sitting in the shadows, feeling lonelier than ever before, knowing that in the end, he was all alone.

His only faithful companions were the maddening thoughts of pain, desire and guilt. Yet, he had felt safe in the shadows, for they were as black as his heart. In the darkest of shadows, he had almost felt invisible - like the darkness could swallow him and the growing black hole in his soul.

"Are they... hurting? I hope I didn't... too deep," he said, not looking at Gaara.

The redhead's eyes hardened and he gripped his mug a little harder. His cuts were hurting really bad. Every time he moved, his clothes chafed the wounds, causing Gaara to wince in pain.

"Yes... They're more than sore, thank you very much!" he hissed. He was angry, and he should be. It wasn't right he had to grow up in this kind of environment.

He wondered how long he could live here, if things didn't change. He had planned on moving away after graduating. Even though the thought of escaping felt pleasing, he was worried about his brother. Would Kankuro go totally insane without his presence? He didn't know how to help the brunette. He loved him as a brother, but he was not planning on getting in mortal danger every time Kankuro had his little 'episodes'.

Getting up, Gaara left the kithcen. He obscured the bruise on his forehead with make-up as well as he could and checked his cuts one last time. Picking up his bag, he left the house.

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**A/N:** _The reason why I made Iruka Naruto's deceased guardian is that Iruka is a kind and easy-going person. Kankuro is working in a café because usually cafés and other such places easily hire people who don't yet have any other education than high school. Besides, I've worked in a café for two years and I therefore know what the job is like, so it is easy for me to write about it._


	2. The past

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, **NON-CONSENSUAL**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.  
**Note:** Thoughts and flashbacks are in _italics_.

* * *

**A/N:** _There's a __**non-consensual scene**__ in this chapter and some people might not want to read it. If you feel you don't want to read that part, please skip it because I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I've marked that part between '__**XXX**__'s so that you know what part to skip._

_Thanks for all who read and reviewed! I didn't draw any pictures of this chapter but I'll be drawing pics about later chapters, when I have the inspiration. :)_

* * *

**Chapter 2: The past**

It hurt when the clothes chafed the cuts on Gaara's body. He didn't have to do anything, just breathe, and the wounds would remind him of their existence. The exhaustion of not having had any sleep was bugging him as well, making him grumpier than usual. He didn't let any of the suffering show on his face, though.

He hoped that this day would be better than the previous one. Hopefully no one would pick a fight with him at school, since he doubted he could perform very well in his current condition. The idea of being in the classes didn't thrill him but the thought of returning home after the school was even less appealing. Fortunately Kankuro had an evening shift today, so the older brother wouldn't be home when he returned.

"Morning!" someone yelled cheerfully at him.

Gaara glanced over his shoulder only to see that the annoying blond was harassing him again.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone," Gaara said, fastening his pace.

"Oh come on! It's only morning and you're already sulking and stuff. Besides, why do you wanna be left alone?" Naruto asked, hoping that the fierce redhead wouldn't attack him for such a question.

"It's none of your business," Gaara retorted. He didn't want to get attached to anyone. He just wasn't a person who was meant to have normal human relationships, like friendship. Besides, he didn't need a friend, he didn't _want_ one. He could very well manage alone.

On the other hand, it would be dangerous to let people close. He didn't want anyone knowing about his business. Kankuro could get in trouble and he didn't want to increase his brother's pain.

To his comfort, they were already on the school grounds. In hope of getting rid of the blond, Gaara walked briskly to the main doors of the building, heading to his locker. However, the nuisance seemed to have his locker near Gaara's. The hallway was deserted, since it was still 15 minutes 'till the classes would begin.

"No one should be left alone," Naruto stated pensively as he stared at the redhead in black. This time, the said redhead turned his gaze and met the deep blue orbs.

"Don't measure me by your own beliefs. I don't need company," Gaara snapped.

"I don't believe that. Everyone needs a friend," Naruto defended. He remembered all too well his own days of solitude when he had no one to spend time with.

"And why are you so sure I even want a _friend_?" Gaara said, spitting out the last word.

"Because... I used to be like you," Naruto said, meaning well. He had been lonely, too. He had been frustrated and angry at people for ignoring him. Naruto rummaged his locker, searching for books, unaware that the careless words put him in danger.

Gaara slammed the locker's door shut with force, causing Naruto to wince. His anger rising higher, the redhead advanced to the perplexed blond. With one swift hand movement, he gripped the other boy's throat and pushed him against the locker doors. The sudden action caused Naruto to drop his books to the floor.

"You are nothing like me!" Gaara said in a dangerously low voice. His jade green eyes sparkled with fury as he tightened the hold. The cuts on his body hurt but he ignored the ache. He would gladly beat up the blond right now but he was positive he would get into trouble for it. He didn't need any more problems, so he tried to control his urges.

Naruto was shocked and wordless. Gaara was... strangling him! And strangling forcefully, by the way. Breathing was growing harder each moment. A chill ran down Naruto's spine. He hadn't seen this coming. Naruto couldn't help but look intensively into the jade orbs, feeling like they were piercing him in a very disturbing way. He could even feel his knees grow weak under the sinister stare.

His cheeks were burning and he feared it had nothing to do with the lack of oxygen. Was is just him, or had it gotten warmer in here? Naruto only now realized how close they were each other. He could practically feel Gaara's bodyheat through the fabric. Now that he saw it from close, Gaara's skin really was flawless. It looked soft, like the red hair and the lips...

_Wait a minute!_ Naruto screamed inside his head. Now was not the time to think things like these! He was being strangled, for god's sake! Willing the thoughts out of his mind, Naruto collected himself. It was time to get out of this situation.

"I... I was lonely, too," Naruto managed to whisper the words. The death grip made it hard for him to speak.

After a small pause, he continued, "No one liked me because I was an outcast. People looked down on me and I got into fights." Naruto hoped his words would have the right effect, because he just wanted to show the redhead that he understood him, in a way.

"Don't think you know me!" Gaara growled, jerking Naruto so that the blond's head hit the locker door. Naruto growled in pain, closing his eyes momentarily. The redhead tightened the grip and let his nails dug slightly into the tanned flesh. As his prey's face turned redder, a mischievous glint appeared into his green eyes. He didn't feel any remorse for releasing his frustration and anger on the helpless boy. A slight feeling of satisfaction came into his mind because _he_ wasn't the hapless victim this time.

"Stay away from me," Gaara hissed angrily, not taking his eyes off the blond's reddened face.

With that said, he released his hold and walked away.

Naruto slid to the floor, holding his throat. It hurt so much that he didn't even dare to gulp. He hoped that the grip hadn't left any marks on his skin, for the orange T-shirt he wore did nothing to hide any kind of bruises on his neck. Thankfully the hallway was deserted and no one saw the state he was in.

The doubt slowly crept into Naruto's mind. Was it such a good idea after all to try and befriend Gaara? Would it be smarter to just leave him be? Shaking his head in frustration, Naruto broke out of his unsureness. He was not going to give up now. Naruto shivered a little when he thought how close Gaara had been to him. But he couldn't help the way he felt. Something in the redhead appealed to him.

Finally gulping, Naruto stood up and gathered the books he had dropped. Shutting his locker door, he thought about Gaara again. The redhead was harder to approach than he had assumed. Giving up had never been an option to Naruto and so he decided he wouldn't let Gaara languish in his solitude, no matter how much the redhead claimed to enjoy it.

On his way to his first lesson Naruto met Kiba and a long-haired boy called Neji, who were chatting quietly. He walked up to them, glad at the chance of wiping away the thoughts about his latest encounter with the infamous redhead.

"Hello, Naruto!" Kiba greeted when he saw his friend. Neji only nodded.

"Hi guys," the blond replied, feeling his spirits already rising. The day seemed to get better and his mind was already pushing the recent violent experience out of his consciousness.

An awkward silence suddenly fell upon them, when Kiba and Neji stared at him in a weird fashion. Naruto blinked, not understanding what his friends were so astonished about.

"Uh... Is there something wrong?" the blond boy asked, rubbing the back of his head. He didn't like how oppressive the atmosphere had suddenly gotten.

"What happened to your neck!?" Kiba yelled, looking at Naruto's exposed throat. There were visible scratch marks and even some reddened parts on the boy's neck. Glancing at the blond friend of his, he saw that the blue eyes reflected pain and uneasyness.

"Naruto! Tell me what happened!" Kiba insisted. He had his hand on the blond's shoulder and he stared at him, without blinking. Neji was leaning closer to Naruto, too, examining the marks.

"Oh come on, it's nothing, really. I just... um..." Naruto trailed off, cursing his bad lying abilities. He had no time to make up a white lie when Neji cut off his stuttering.

"Lying is useless. I can tell that these are freshly made and with force. Who did this to you? And don't even try to lie, you're awful at it" Neji stated, giving Naruto a studying look.

"No, it's nothing! I... umm... I guess I massaged my neck and shoulders too forcefully, they're so tense, you see?" Naruto laughed nervously while stuttering the ridiculous lie. What a stupid and unconvincing lie. He really wished he could disappear.

Neji sighed and closed his eyes. Naruto's story was really far-fetched.

"Don't tell me... Naruto, don't tell me it was _him_!" Kiba shouted as realization hit him, shaking Naruto by the shoulders. He had warned him about the freaky redhead. Why hadn't Naruto believed him?

"Was it Gaara?" Neji asked, too.

Both Kiba and Neji were staring at Naruto. The blond sighed, seeing he couldn't get out of this.

"Well, I kinda walked with him to school today, and when we were here I told him that we were alike. I think that made him mad, and he told me to stay away from him," Naruto told the story shortly.

He knew Kiba was going to scold him the rest of the day and remind him that he had warned him. Kiba would positively nag him that the mission 'befriend Gaara' was sure to fail, no matter how much Naruto argued back.

"You see! I told you he was a freak!" Kiba shouted again, his voice echoing in the hallway.

"I think you should stay away from him, Naruto," Neji said in a serious voice.

Before the blond boy had a chance to defend himself, the bell rang. For the first time in his life, Naruto was relieved of the fact that classes were about to begin. He would have an hour or so free from his concerned friends' nagging.

With a quick bye, Naruto stormed to his class in a swirl of orange and yellow, leaving Kiba and Neji standing on the spot.

"Argh... He's so stubborn! Do you think we had any influence on him?" Kiba asked, glancing at the boy next to him.

"I don't think so. Poor Naruto, he always has to learn everything the hard way," Neji sighed, walking towards their next class.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just so worried about him," Kiba answered, following Neji to the classroom.

* * *

It was lunch break and Naruto and Shikamaru were glancing through the school cafeteria, looking for someone familiar to sit with. Amongst the grey mass of students Naruto made out a mop of red hair.

"Hey, let's go over there," the blond boy suggested, already going towards Gaara's direction.

"Are you sure it's wise after what he did to you? From what Kiba told me, he treated you pretty badly," Shikamaru answered.

"Nah, come on! He won't do anything when there's so many people around us," Naruto assured confidently.

"All right then but if he's gonna hurt you again, I'm not gonna save you," Shikamaru replied. He sighed inwardly at the situation. People's relationships were way too troublesome and he had no interest in meddling in them.

Gaara sat in silence as he quietly ate his food. He hoped Naruto would leave him be after what he had done to him. Surely the blond wouldn't be as stupid as to come and bother him again? He had been cold to him, snapped at him, threatened him and finally hurt him physically. If that wouldn't keep a person at bay, then what would?

He couldn't understand why a person like Naruto was suddenly so keen on him. To his knowledge, he hadn't done anything to deserve the continuous harassment from the blond. It wasn't normal that he was shown attention. All his life he had been either ignored or scolded at, until he was left alone with Kankuro. He was sure that he wasn't meant to socialize with others or to have friends, ever. Besides, he lacked the social skills.

"Hi Gaara! Do you mind if me and Shikamaru sit here?" Naruto asked over-happily, lowering his food tray to the table. No surprise, the table Gaara had chosen was empty. No one ever wanted to sit near him.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Gaara lifted his gaze to look curiously at the blond and the other, ponytailed boy. He glanced around the cafeteria and when he saw that there were no empty tables to be found elsewhere, he made no attempt to leave.

"I thought I made it perfectly clear that I don't need company. Or have you forgotten about this morning?" Gaara said, glancing at Naruto. There were still some marks on the blond's neck, the redhead noticed, then sighed. Against all odds, Naruto was here again, paining him with his presence. The redhead didn't know what he should do anymore to make the blond leave him alone.

A quick glance to the jade orbs assured Naruto that the redhead was not aggressive, only cautious. If Gaara thought he could scare him away so easily, he was deadly wrong.

"Then you don't know that I'm this school's number one most stubborn student," Naruto replied, not letting the cold comment sink his feelings. "How's your day been?" he asked after a pause, smiling widely. He didn't feel like smiling but it was a mask he was used to wearing.

"Fine until you came here," Gaara answered calmly, taking a bite of his food.

Shikamaru looked from Gaara to Naruto, trying to interpret the atmosphere. He had no idea why Naruto wanted to hang around with this guy. Shikamaru didn't care about the rumours or to judge the redhead but wasn't interested in hanging around with him, either.

"My day has been good, too," Naruto answered, ignoring the nasty edge in Gaara's comment. "Shikamaru and I had just history and jeez, that was boring! I almost fell asleep in there! Thanks to Shikamaru, I didn't. Otherwise I would've surely gotten detention," Naruto explained as he wolfed down his meal.

Gaara wondered how this Shikamaru stood up with Naruto. The blond was quite lively, not to mention talkative. The ponytailed boy seemed to be slightly bored as he quietly ate his food. Thankfully the boy was quiet, for Gaara was sure he wouldn't stand two people babbling non-stop.

"What's your favorite subject by the way?" Naruto asked suddenly, his meal already finished.

"Art, I guess," Gaara replied after a pause.

He didn't like how the blond smiled at him or how he was friendly to him. He wasn't accustomed to it. He was accustomed to solitude and prejudices, doubt and cautiousness. The smiling was probably the worst part. It made him feel... strange. Like he was a little more accepted. Gaara shuddered - he denied that the blond would have that kind of effect on him.

"You like to draw, then?" Naruto asked casually, a friendly smile once again gracing his lips. Things were going smoothly this time, fortunately.

"Hmm," was all Gaara said.

He still had food on his plate but he didn't feel like eating the cold leftovers. It was still a couple more hours until the school day was over. Then, he would be able to escape into his beloved cellar where no one could reach out for him. There, he could be alone with his thoughts.

Shikamaru stood up and explained he had to see some of his friends before the lunch break ended. With that, Naruto and Gaara were left alone in the now half deserted cafeteria. The cuts were hurting, bringing Gaara flashbacks of last night. All the thoughts of smiles and violence and the hours he'd been awake at night made him feel nauseous. With his appetite gone, Gaara stood up and made his leave, too.

"What do you like to draw?" came a rushed question as Naruto followed him out of the cafeteria.

With one cold stare at the blond, Gaara made it clear that he wasn't going to answer. As he walked, his clothes nastily chafed the cuts, making him feel the pain again. What hurt more, though, was the memory behind the wounds. Suddenly he felt very, very tired. Finally, the sleeplessness was taking its toll. He felt like skipping the rest of his classes but it wouldn't go unnoticed. He didn't mind so much about the teachers but if Kankuro found out, there would be no end of nagging about the importance of school and education.

"Are you alright? You look pale. I mean, paler than usual," Naruto asked as he looked at the boy walking beside him.

"I'm fine. And why do you care?" Gaara said. With every minute, his eyelids grew heavier. The stimulative effect of the morning coffee was wearing off.

"Should I stop caring, then? Should I just ignore you? That's not how people treat each other," Naruto replied. He was sick of people's ignorance and indifference. A long time ago he had made a decision not to ignore the wrongs he saw.

"No, it's exactly how people treat each other," Gaara corrected him. He didn't feel sympathy for strangers and therefore he didn't expect any caring from them, either.

"But it shouldn't be that way. C'mon, I'll take you to the nurse's office," Naruto said determination in his voice as he grabbed Gaara's arm. Naruto eyed the redhead warily. The boy looked ill and his legs seemed to grow wobblier with each step.

A wave of horror washed over Gaara, making him ignore the fact that the blond boy was touching him. For a moment, he was fully awake from his drowsy state. There was no way he would go to the nurse. What if the nurse wanted to check his heartbeat? Then he would be forced to lift his shirt and reveal the wounds. That, if nothing, would raise some unwanted questions.

"No!" Gaara said a bit too loudly. "I mean, no. I'm not going there," he then corrected with a calmer voice. He was just tired, that's all. Propably a cup of coffee would fix everything but unfortunately, the school cafeteria hadn't any to offer. It would be best if he got to his cellar and...

He stumbled, losing his balance and was about to fall when Naruto tightened the grip, preventing him from falling. The blond lifted Gaara to his feet and made sure he could stand again. Still, he didn't let go, as if fearing Gaara would fall again.

"Don't be ridiculous. What are you gonna do then, go to the class and faint there?" Naruto asked. To be honest, he was afraid that Gaara would pass out any moment.

"I'm going home. I just need to sleep a little," the redhead replied. He started to walk again and it was then that he noticed the blond was holding his arm. "Let go of me," Gaara growled in annoyance, trying to shake the boy off. That kind of grip was... oppressive. It made him feel like he was captive, stripped off of his free will to get away.

"But then you could stumble again and hit your head or something. So no, I'm not letting go. It's not like I'm gonna hurt you or anything," Naruto spoke. Despite fact that the redhead tried to yank his arm free a couple of times, Naruto didn't let go.

The bell rang, signaling that the lunch break was over.

"We need to wait a little until everyone's in the classes. That way no one will notice our leaving," Naruto explained as he stopped.

"We? _Our_ leaving? What the hell are you talking about," Gaara asked. He tried to free his arm again, without a result.

"You don't seriously think I'm gonna let you wobble home in a state like this. You could get hit by a car or worse," Naruto replied. When he couldn't hear any footsteps or noises from students anymore he started walking again, heading to the school's front door.

"It isn't any of your concern," Gaara huffed. If he now let the blond lead him home, there would be no way he could get rid of him later. Besides, he didn't want to be in a debt of gratitude to anyone. He was already in one to Kankuro and it made his life way too complicated.

Naruto sighed and after a pause, spoke, "It is. I already told you why."

"But you're gonna miss your classes as well," Gaara pointed out. He wasn't going to believe that someone - a stranger much less - would skip school for just his well-being's sake. At least he wouldn't do such a favor to anyone.

"It's alright. I might've gotten a detention anyway for falling asleep in class, so it doesn't make much difference, now does it?" Naruto said as he smiled happily to Gaara. The grin assured Gaara that the blond was serious this time.

"You're weird," Gaara huffed. All the talking and arguing, not to mention mental pondering about Naruto's... friendliness, if that was the correct term, made him feel even more tired.

Slowly, they made their way towards Gaara's house. The redhead was yawning every now and then and sometimes he even closed his eyes for a while. Naruto didn't babble like usual, for he thought it wouldn't be right to exhaust Gaara with questions and trivial things.

Near his home Gaara stopped abruptly. What if Kankuro hadn't left for work and was still home? Would he get scolded for skipping classes? When Naruto looked at him worriedly and asked if he was feeling okay, he just nodded and continued walking. After a couple of steps he could see the home yard and to his relief, Kankuro's car was nowhere to be seen. His brother wasn't home, anymore.

In no time they were on the front door of Gaara's house. Naruto turned to look at the redhead, who searched his bag for keys.

"Will you be okay?" the blond asked.

"Yeah..." Gaara replied, opening the door. He couldn't thank the blond. That would mean he admitted he was grateful. The blond boy was an annoyance. There was no need to encourage him to continue his harassing.

Gaara glanced at Naruto but this time he couldn't master the icy stare the way he had before. Cursed blonde. It was all the boy's fault that Gaara felt a bit easier now. Even the wounds had ceased to remind of their existence for a moment. Damn the blond.

The redhead slid through the doorway and slammed the door shut in front of his escort, before the strange feelings could get any stronger. He wobbled to his room, too tired to go to the cellar he usually favoured, and collapsed onto the bed, falling asleep immediately.

* * *

Naruto was walking home. There would be no point in going back to school, since the class he had missed was almost over by now. Would Gaara be alright? He had looked way too sleep-deprived since morning.

Was is just his imagination or had the redhead been a bit uneasy about going home? Naruto had never been to his house and wondered what it was like. His own home was small and humble, but a home nevertheless. He pondered if he'd dare to ask Gaara over his place some day. They could hang around, watch a movie or play games.

His hand still felt warm, the feeling of Gaara's arm lingering on it. Gaara had been so close to him the whole way to his home. He knew it was stupid of him to think like that, but he couldn't shake off the giddiness that filled him. But he wasn't supposed to feel like that - all he was looking from Gaara was friendship, right?

At home, Naruto dropped his school bag to the floor and collapsed onto the couch. It was 2:14 p.m. and he had nothing to do, except his homework. It was always so lonely here, after Iruka gone. Kiba was often too busy to hang around with the blond after school. Shikamaru, for one, had other friends he rather spend his freetime with. Sometimes Naruto hung around with Neji but it was really rare. They weren't so close friends, after all.

Naruto let out a sigh. If only Gaara would allow him closer, they could be together more often. They were almost neighbours and to his knowledge, Gaara didn't have that many friends who'd take all of his freetime. What had happened this morning was still fresh in Naruto's mind. It wouldn't be too easy to crack the redhead's shell open.

But then again, when he had escorted Gaara, the redhead hadn't been so annoyed anymore. Naruto had noticed that the last look Gaara had given him wasn't the one of fury or cold indifference. The jade eyes had reflected something else, which Naruto couldn't quite put a finger to. Maybe he had succeeded in getting a bit closer to Gaara? He certainly hoped so.

Gaara's arm had felt so warm and soft, even though he had made out the muscles. The drowsy redhead hadn't been as intimidating as the fiery one in the morning. It had been easier to be around Gaara when the intense jade eyes had been hazy and half-closed, because Naruto always felt like the green orbs could pierce his very soul and see the depths of it.

Naruto couldn't get Gaara's sleepy face out of his mind. The redhead was probably fast asleep right now. What would he look like when he slept? Peaceful? Or perhaps he was intimidating, even then? _It would surely be nice to lay beside sleeping Gaara and wrap my arm around him, hold him close. And perhaps smooth down the soft hair and—_ No wait, he hadn't just thought that.

Naruto got up from the couch, shaking off all the thoughts about the redhead who seemed to have conquered his mind.

It was 4:02 p.m. when he glanced at the clock. Oh god, he hadn't just spend two hours thinking about Gaara, had he? He hadn't noticed the time slip by... Naruto groaned. Did he really have it that bad for Gaara?

* * *

He didn't know how long he had slept. The house was dark and no lamps were lit. Was it night already? Kankuro was surely home by now. Gaara listened carefully but didn't hear a sound from the other rooms of the house. Maybe the older brother was asleep already. Turning his back to the doorway, Gaara began to dwell in his thoughts like so many times before.

It had been two years since Temari had left. Soon after her move Kankuro had started to approach Gaara in a curious way. At first the brunette had shown gentleness to him by caressing his hair and face. He hadn't seen anything dangerous in those seemingly innocent acts and had enjoyed the contact. To him, who had never been willingly shown affection by anyone, not by his father, uncle or sister, the caresses and tokens of brotherly love from Kankuro were a new sensation.

Seeing that the redhead didn't flinch his touch, Kankuro had expanded their intimacy to another level. He had told Gaara that it was perfectly okay for him to touch his little brother and kiss him, that it was his way of showing his love. Gaara had been confused. It had felt so wrong and disgusting, at first.

Thanks to Kankuro's manipulations, he didn't question their doings so often in the time being. Unable to win over his loneliness, the redhead had somewhat succumbed, afraid that he'd lose the only person who understood him. Slowly, Gaara started to enjoy the sensual caresses and the more intimate contact he shared with Kankuro. The older brother always took care of his pleasure, making sure he didn't feel uncomfortable. Gaara tried to accept the way his brother showed him love. It had to be love, because of any other kind of love he had no experience of.

In the time being, Kankuro's mental state worsened and the brunette started to lose himself every a couple of months. During those episodes, which the older brother never really seemed to remember afterwards, his behavior turned violent and unpredictable.

The mood swings scared Gaara, who had no idea how to help his brother. He couldn't blame his brother, because in his heart he knew that Kankuro wasn't his normal self during the mental collapses. After the episodes it wasn't rare for Gaara to have cuts, bites or bruises on his skin. He was used to hiding them, though, but he wished he wouldn't have to go through it all.

In his normal state of mind, Kankuro was like another person - calm, caring and pleasant, making Gaara feel comfortable, wanted and loved. On those days, the two of them almost acted like normal brothers - playing games, going shopping or making dinner together.

However, the threat of violence hanging in the air was every now and then present, making Gaara cautious around Kankuro. Fortunately, he had learned to predict the brunette's oncoming mood swings pretty well. During the episodes, Gaara knew he should either run away from the house or hide in the cellar, to where Kankuro didn't want to follow him.

Unlike during the mood swings when Gaara's fate depended on how fast he could run, when Kankuro was his normal self, Gaara had no escape. Kankuro seldom took 'no' for an answer and if his desires were hindered, he turned angrier and started to act impatiently.

At the moment, Kankuro was standing in the doorway of Gaara's room, looking at the still form in bed. The redhead looked so vulnerable that it almost tore him in two. He wanted to do something right, to make things up again. He slowly advanced to the laying figure, not making a sound. Gaara when Kankuro lowered onto the bed to lay beside him.

"Kankuro..." Gaara whispered, not caring to turn around and face his brother. "Why aren't the lights on?"

The brunette wrapped his arms around the redhead, pulling him closer. He wasn't tired but at the moment, he could lay like this for eternity. He loved his little brother so much it pained him. It pained because he had hurt him again, yesterday. The darkness eased him because in the dark, his own flaws seemed smaller. He wanted only to feel Gaara and hear him. He wanted to hear the forgiveness but didn't want to see the face which spoke it. It would be too much to look into the jade pools right now.

"It's better in the dark," Kankuro replied. His warm breath hit Gaara's ear and he gently placed a kiss on the neck. "I'm so sorry," the brunette spoke and closed his eyes.

Gaara was silent for the lack of words. The warmness emitting from Kankuro felt nice against his back. In the distance he could hear a clock ticking and wondered what time it was.

"They called me at work saying you skipped some classes today," Kankuro spoke. Instead of angry, his voice was calm and soft. "You must've been tired after everything... It's all my fault," he continued, embracing his little brother a bit tighter.

"Don't say that. It's not your fault," Gaara replied, craning his neck to look at the brunette, who kept his eyes closed like a death-sentenced waiting for the last shot. Slowly, Kankuro opened his eyes and saw the jade orbs. He let out a deep sigh, his warm breath hitting Gaara's cheek again. There it was, the forgiveness. It was like a weight had lifted from his chest.

A joyful feeling was slowly filling him. He stroked Gaara's cheek with his fingers and Gaara's face towards his own, engaging them into a kiss. He felt so happy and light. More than anything, he wanted to show his little brother that he could be gentle and loving. He wanted Gaara to feel good, really good.

"Let's go to the shower. Your make-up is probably all smeared from sleeping," Kankuro said, getting up from the bed and almost dragging Gaara with him.

"I'll get shower in the morning," Gaara answered quickly. He was reluctant to enter the bathroom with Kankuro. The place held some bad memories.

"Come on Gaara... I won't hurt you ever again, I promise," Kankuro whispered as he led Gaara to the ominous bathroom. The redhead had no chance to back off, like he hadn't had two years ago...

* * *

**XXX**

_Gaara was in the shower, washing his hair when Kankuro joined him. Gaara looked at him before closing his eyes as the water ran over his face, rinsing the shampoo away. The brunette reached for the soap and just stood there, looking at the water running freely down his little brother's body, caressing the pale skin._

_Taking a deep breath, Kankuro closed the distance between them. He held Gaara in an embrace at first, but slowly removed his other hand to touch the behind, while his other hand sensually brushed the redhead's member._

_"Kankuro!? What the hell are you doing?" the redhead shouted, perplexed at the sudden, weird actions._

_"Shh... It's okay, we can do this. You remember when I told you what people who love each other do? It's okay for us, too," the brunette aswered gently. He placed soft kisses on Gaara's neck and started to stroke the younger male's member._

_"But I don't want to do this... Not this, Kankuro!" the redhead defended, trying to free himself from Kankuro's hold._

_Kankuro didn't respond. With light force, he lowered Gaara to the floor and pinned the smaller body down with his own. Gaara made attempts to get up, for he didn't like the cold shower floor, even though the water was warming him._

_"I want to get up, let me go," Gaara spoke, trying to push his brother away._

_"But you liked the other things, remember? You'll like this one, too. Just trust me," Kankuro assured. He knew the redhead wouldn't agree to this at first, so he had prepared to convince him._

_"Now, relax," he said, sliding his soaped fingers between the redhead's legs while he gently bit the tender area below Gaara's ear. Feeling the fingers inside of him, Gaara objected more and tried to stop his brother. The feeling was weird. He didn't like it._

_"Get off! Don't do this... why?" Gaara shouted, pushing the other male away with all his power, even though it didn't do much good._

_"You will like this, I promise. You know I've always taken care of you? I won't let anything bad happen to you..." the brunette whispered, hoping the redhead would stop throwing his fists at him before he was all black and blue._

_The older of the brothers stopped biting and instead placed soft kisses along the redhead's jawline and neck, all the while pushing his fingers deeper and strecthing the ring of muscles. He stroked Gaara's member a bit faster, eager to make the younger one relax._

_The sudden pleasure made Gaara let out a quiet moan, not opposing Kankuro's acts as much as before. For a moment, the caresses distracted him from the feeling that what they were doing was wrong._

M-maybe he knows what he's doing, maybe this is love, _Gaara reasoned in panic, trying to find even a little bit of logic in his confusion. Still, after the brief moment of enjoyment, he couldn't shake off the feeling that this shouldn't be happening._

_Kankuro knew what power a simple caress or kiss held over the redhead, and he didn't hesitate to use it to his own advantage. He couldn't fully explain to himself why he wanted to subdue his little brother. He only felt the burning need to do it, for he believed that by doing it he could ease the memory of the horrors he had endured, thanks to their twisted uncle._

_"This doesn't feel right, Kankuro... Can't you let me go? I don't want this," Gaara said in a quiet voice, looking straight into the black, bottomless eyes._

_Kankuro knew that pleading yet sorrowful look, for he had once had it too. But he couldn't turn back now - there was too much desire, hatred and pain in him to stop this. Kankuro removed his fingers and put his hardened, soaped lenght on Gaara's entrance._

_"Forgive me," the brunette breathed while pushing his member tentatively inside. The sudden change confused Gaara and he started to squirm again, pushing Kankuro away._

_"AAA! Kankuro... no, please, it hurts!" Gaara groaned, trying his everything to get away._

_In order to get control over the situation the older male kissed the younger one while thrusting deeper inside. Gaara's shout of pain was muffled by Kankuro's lips while his hands desperately pushed the brunette away. Knowing that their first time should be pleasurable to the redhead, Kankuro broke the kiss and looked Gaara in the eyes._

_"You're gonna enjoy this too, in the end," he said in a soothing voice, squeezing Gaara's member in his hand._

_If Gaara didn't like this the first time, it would be really hard to get him to do this in the future, Kankuro reasoned. Pushing carefully deeper, he finally hit Gaara's prostate, causing the redhead to let out a sharp cry of pleasure._

_Pleased at the sound, Kankuro continued stroking Gaara as he nibbled the redhead's earlobe. Gaara's wails slowly changed into moans, even though he almost drew blood when his grip on the brunette's back tightened._

_Gaara's tightness was almost too much for Kankuro to bear but if he wanted to make this as he had planned, he couldn't let himself come before the redhead. Biting the tender spot below his little brother's ear he fastened the stroking, pleased when he heard Gaara's moans grew louder._

_A long time ago both of them had ignored the still running water and the fact that Gaara had still some shampoo in his hair. Gaara's fingers clawed at Kankuro's back feverishly as he was coming closer to the edge, as twisted as the pleasure was. The redhead squirmed under the brunette before finally climaxing, spilling white liquid all over his stomach and his brother's hand._

_Kankuro looked at the redhead beneath him. The younger male's cheeks were mildly blushed and his eyelids were sliding almost close, hiding the hazy look in the green eyes. The sight of Gaara's innocence was too much for Kankuro. He, too, reached his climax soon, thrusting hungrily in the redhead. Releasing himself inside Gaara, he panted heavily, not tearing his gaze away from the redhead._

_He was a little mad at himself for doing this to his little brother. Soon, the feelings of guilt mixed with pleasure and hunger and some darker emotion, rage-like, which had inhabited his mind since childhood._

* * *

The brothers were in the bathroom again and like before, Gaara was washing himself. When he was ready and about to leave, a grip on his arm told him not to go. Like a long time ago, Kankuro lowered Gaara to the floor and settled between his legs. Not wasting any time, he buried Gaara's length into his mouth, pleased that it grew hard instantly. To add the redhead's pleasure, Kankuro pushed a finger inside. After a moment of stretching, he added a second one.

Gaara didn't say a word but let it happen. There would be no escape, anyway. He stared at the poison green tiles on the walls, ignoring the cold that came when water was drying on his skin. His thoughts soon became blurred as the pleasure increased. His moans grew louder and echoed in the bathroom as he came closer to the edge. He was about to come and drown in the bliss of pleasure when the feeling suddenly ended.

Kankuro smirked at him when their eyes met. "Beg me," he said.

"...Please," Gaara whispered with a voice full of need. He was annoyed that the wonderful feeling had abruptly ended - it was mean of Kankuro to stop when he was just about to come. When nothing happened, he said a bit louder, "Please, Kankuro..."

This time, the brunette smiled wickedly and slid his own pulsing member inside the redhead. His other hand sneaked down to stroke Gaara's twitching length. Gaara stared past Kankuro to the ceiling, hoping he would get past the slight pain and get into the bliss he was in moments ago.

This probably didn't differ at all from what had happened two years ago, but to Gaara it was all the same. Maybe he was now co-operating because he didn't fight back like then. Fighting back was useless. Things wouldn't change. He had learned that it was less painful to go along and concentrate on the pleasure.

He tightened his hold on Kankuro, bringing their bodies closer. At the moment, right or wrong didn't matter, laws didn't matter. The only important thing was that he was being loved and cared. And oh, how it felt good. Kankuro knew all the tender spots on his body and the tricks that stimulated him.

Gaara's breathing turned erratic again as the pleasant feeling crept back to him. He thrashed and groaned before finally coming over the edge. He closed his eyes and the world was white for a moment, full of blur and sweetness. After a moment Kankuro came too, holding Gaara closer and moaning.

**XXX**

After some minutes, Gaara climbed onto Kankuro's bed. He had agreed to sleep next to the brunette tonight. The clock on the night table said 10:29 p.m. He sighed, wondering if he would get any sleep tonight, given he had slept so many hours during the day. Soon Kankuro joined him and wrapped his arm around him. The touch and the warmness relaxed the redhead, and soon he closed his eyes in hopes escaping into the realm of dreams.

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**A/N:** _Hopefully no one is too upset about the flashback. However, the next chapter will be more pleasant._

_For this chapter, I had to do some research about insomnia and the effects of coffee. I thought it would be plausible that Gaara would feel exhausted after the effect of the coffee wore off. Coffee cannot replace sleep, unfortunately. :(_

_Kankuro is a very challenging character to write about because of his paradoxality - on the other hand he wants to be a good brother but because his view of the world is skewed, he doesn't quite succeed. Don't get me wrong but Kankuro is actually my favourite character of this story because of his contradictions!_


	3. Only a distraction

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.  
**Note:** Flashback and thoughts are in _italics_.

* * *

**A/N:** _The first two chapters have been quite long but the next chapters, including this one, will be shorter. It will be easier for people to read and my beta won't complain me about the length of the chapters anymore. And it might be faster to post this fanfic this way, too, even though the number of the chapters will increase._

_Thanks for all the reviews, faves and alerts and also, thanks for reading this story. I appreciate it very much._

* * *

**C****hapter 3: Only a distraction**

It was lunch break and Naruto was on the school yard, looking for one particular redhead. He hadn't seen him inside, so he came outside in hopes of seeing him. Gaara was sitting on a bench, looking at the distance. To Naruto, the sight was so lonely. The redhead didn't seem to have any friends to spend time with so he was always alone.

"Hi," the blond said cheerfully as he sat down onto the bench.

Silence was his only answer.

"Did you sleep well yesterday? Are you feeling any better?" Naruto asked. He had been worried about his newest friend.

Gaara recoiled at the topic. He quickly calmed himself, knowing that the blond would never find out about anything. No one would. It was just an ordinary topic, nothing else.

"I'm okay," the quiet redhead answered. He didn't want to encourage Naruto to ask more questions.

"I'm glad to hear that," the blond replied. He was smiling widely as he looked at the boy next to him.

A silence settled between them since Gaara didn't have the need to say anything in answer. For the blond though, the quietness was oppressive.

"So, what kind of music do you listen to?" Naruto asked, genuinely interested.

"Why do you care?" Gaara said, glaring at the blond.

"C'mon, that's not an answer. So, what do you like to listen to?" Naruto asked again.

Gaara sighed. Would it be so bad to give a proper answer? "I mostly likely rock but I listen to heavy metal, too. Sometimes I also find punk entertaining enough," the redhead spoke. It hadn't felt too bad giving so much personal information to the blond, now that he thought about it.

"I thought so," Naruto replied smiling. "I like rock, too, but more often I listen to pop," he continued. He wasn't too picky when it came to music. Whatever got him into a good mood was listenable enough for him.

Gaara gave Naruto a sideways glance. He didn't really appreciate hit music. It was repulsive in all its positiveness and cheerfulness. No, darker lyrics and heavier sounds were more appealing to him.

"Now ask me a question," Naruto said.

"Why?" came a simple reply.

"Because I asked you one. That's why," the blond explained.

"I don't want to know anything about you," the redhead answered none too friendly.

"Don't give me that attitude again!" Naruto exclaimed. Why was it so hard to make friends with the redhead? Why couldn't Gaara be more responsive? "This is how people get to know each other. Now ask me, anything."

Gaara pondered for a moment. What would he ask? He wondered what had happened to Naruto's deceased guardian, Iruka but it would be too rude for even him to ask. "Well... What's your favorite subject?" was all Gaara came up with. He didn't really care what the answer would be.

"Let's see... Umm, I guess P.E. is my favorite. I dislike pretty much everything else," the blond replied. He was too lively to concentrate on reading a book and math just wasn't his business.

"You see, it wasn't that hard, now was it? Making friends is really easy," Naruto spoke again, giving Gaara one of his genuine smiles.

"We're not gonna be friends. If you think anything else, you're delusional," Gaara told coldly. He had decided he wouldn't shoo the blond away anymore but wasn't going make friends with him, either. It would take too much energy to keep the stubborn boy at bay.

Naruto was taken aback by the harsh comment. He recovered from it soon though, because in his unruly mind a mocking voice already echoed, _Maybe not friends, but something more? Hmm...?_

"Er... So, what do you usually do in your free time?" Naruto asked quickly.

He didn't want to dwell in those particular thoughts right now, not when Gaara was present. Besides, what were the chances that the redhead would return his feelings? That's right, the chances were very slim. He had decided that he might be a bit appealed to Gaara, but nothing else. Even though he had had a few dreams about the boy and had occasionally spent a couple of hours thinking about him constantly, it meant nothing. Right?

The jade eyes narrowed slightly. This was a question Gaara had to answer carefully, without leaving any loopholes which could lead into further questions. After a quick consideration, he thought it would be safe to give a proper answer.

"I listen to music and study. And I often draw and paint, too." He carefully left out the fact that he spent quite an amount of time with his brother.

"I do pretty much the same. I like to play video games and watch TV when I'm bored," Naruto replied casually. After a brief pause, he felt confident enough to ask, "Would you like to hang around with me some day?"

Again, the green eyes narrowed. Gaara still wasn't sure if this all was only a joke. Was the blond serious? Why would Naruto want to be around him in his freetime? The blond had other friends, didn't he? He didn't know this boy so well, after all. What if he would get into trouble?

"I'm not interested," came a harsh reply. Better safe than sorry.

"Are you sure? We live so near each other, it would be easy. And I'd really like to get to know you better," Naruto said, hoping he didn't sound too desperate. The thing was, the empty and lonely atmosphere in his home was haunting him. It was boring to be alone.

"No. Don't you have your friends to bother?" Gaara snapped. He didn't like arguing after he had made his point clear.

"They live so far away. And they are often busy," Naruto said, sounding a bit too sad for his own liking. He didn't want pity, not from Gaara.

"That's not any of my concern," the redhead said coldly. It wasn't his responsibility to hang around with the blond.

"I know. But you know Gaara, I already consider you my friend, even though you deny it," Naruto confessed, smiling feebly. He didn't care if the redhead didn't feel the same. He had already got attached to him and couldn't think of him as a stranger anymore.

"You're a fool."

"I hear that a lot," Naruto said, grinning jovially.

The bell rang and the lunch break was over. For Naruto, it had felt like an eternity. A good eternity, that is. He was a bit concerned that Kiba would be upset that he had chosen to spend time with Gaara. The brown haired boy had plenty of other friends than Naruto, so Kiba would hardly have to be alone. Kiba had been acting weird lately and Naruto couldn't quite catch what for. He had often caught the brown haired boy staring at him and when their eyes had met, Kiba had quickly looked away. It was weird.

* * *

The rhythm of the music caressed Gaara's ears. He felt like drowning into the sweet depths of the sounds as he laid on his bed in the cellar, listening to one of his favorite bands. The music relaxed him and made it easier to think. He had a lot to think about but most of the time, he preferred shutting his thoughts out. Pointless dwelling in the past only made matters worse, not the other way around.

Kankuro's mental state only worsened as time passed by. Why couldn't his brother seek help? It would be much better to talk the problems out than bottle them up - in the end, those suppressed feelings only exploded and it was always Gaara who had to suffer the consequences.

It made him sad to see that the familiar marks had been ornamenting Kankuro's arms again, now that the old wounds had healed. That wasn't a healthy way to deal with one's feelings of guilt. It was always about regret, Gaara knew it. He had told his brother that he shouldn't feel guilty about things that were in the past, things that weren't his fault. Kankuro never got convinced. Gaara felt so helpless. Was there really nothing he could do?

As the track changed, Gaara's thoughts drifted into other topics. Why did Naruto consider him as a friend already? He hadn't acted friendly at all towards the blond. Why the boy kept on showing him attention, Gaara didn't know. It was strange. Some people had tried to get to know him before but in the end, they had all left. No one had ever wanted to be his friend.

Yet no one had ever approached him like Naruto. Maybe the blond wasn't a total nuisance after all. Because of the boy, Gaara had now something else to think about than the usual depressing things that went round and round in his mind. Yes, the blond offered him a distraction. _But he's just a distraction, nothing else_, Gaara added as an afterthought. He wondered if Naruto would come to talk to him again tomorrow...

* * *

Days passed and whenever his schedule allowed, Naruto walked to school with Gaara. The redhead hadn't threatened or harmed him again, fortunately. Still, Gaara seemed to have bad days when he was quieter and grumpier than usual.

Not everyone was approving the fact that Naruto suddenly seemed to take interest in Gaara.

Kiba was worried about Naruto, trying to speak him out of befriending the weirdo. The blond couldn't understand his attitude - why would making new friends be so bad? Was Kiba really that prejudiced when it came to unpopular people? He didn't seem to be before... Naruto didn't notice it but a hint of jealousy crossed Kiba's eyes every time at the mention of the redhead.

Neji was wary of Naruto's sudden interest in the school's outcast. He had warned Naruto about ending up as unpopular as the redhead but the blond had only shrugged. Naruto didn't care about strangers' opinions as long as he had his friends around him.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, was too lazy to care about the situation. He thought it was none of his concern who Naruto spent time with. He occasionally hung around with Gaara and Naruto, discussing about school and things in general.

Some days the three of them even ate lunch together. Gaara got along with Shikamaru, appreciating the brown haired boy's total lack of interest when it came to other people's business. This, in practise, meant that quiet as usual, the redhead didn't speak a word but wasn't totally annoyed about Shikamaru's presence, either.

People quickly labeled Naruto an outcast again. Even some unfamiliar students seemed to have a need to express their disapproval of what was going on. Sometimes when the two boys walked down the corridor some students shouted after them things like 'You used to be cool, Naruto' or 'Go away, freaks.'

Some students were even spreading rumours about the two boys. The worst gossip-mongers dared to go as far as claiming they were lovers. That particular rumour always caused Naruto to blush violently, grabbing Gaara's arm and taking him out of earshot. To the redhead the rumours were irrelevant. Be there Naruto or not, he was already putting up with people's prejudices on a daily basis. Only Naruto seemed to be somewhat disturbed by what people were gossiping.

* * *

"It was such a nice day at work today. The café was crowded but there were no annoying customers. How was your day?" Kankuro asked, sipping his tea.

Gaara glanced at him, then looked back at the steaming cup in front of him. It wasn't surprising to him that his brother was enjoying his job. The brunette had always been quite extroverted anyway. Gaara knew it was just a mask though, like indifference was to himself. He wondered if Naruto was the same. Did the blond use happiness and friendliness as a mask, protecting him from sad feelings? It certainly looked like that because sometimes Naruto's smile didn't quite reach his eyes - it seemed forced more than anything.

"Um... Did you hear me, Gaara?"

The redhead looked at his brother again. He hadn't really been listening.

"You've been zoning out a lot lately. Is there something wrong?" Kankuro asked in a concerned voice.

This time he got a reply. "No."

"Wow, you seem to be pretty talkative today," the brunette teased. He was used to the fact that some days his little brother was more unsocial than normally. That's why he wasn't surprised when Gaara didn't grace him with another answer but stood up and left the kitchen.

In the cellar, Gaara took up his books and started to study. He had some lectures together with Naruto. Lately, the blond had taken the liberty to sit with him in the classes they shared. Gaara didn't mind it, as long as the boy kept his mouth shut and didn't disturb his studying.

Naruto wasn't very good at school. He seemed to zone out every now and then and when he didn't do that, he was doodling something on the corner of the paper. No wonder if he got poor grades. Like Gaara, Naruto wasn't in the teachers' good graces either. Whenever the boys sat together, the teachers seemed to give extra glares at them, as if assuming they would do something worth giving a detention.

Knock knock.

The cellar door was being rapped. What did Kankuro want now? Gaara climbed up the stairs and opened the door slightly.

"What?" he asked in an annoyed voice.

"Do you need any help with your homework? I could help you if you want," Kankuro offered. He liked helping Gaara, it made him feel needed. Besides, that way he could see that the redhead didn't skip any important school tasks.

"No. I've already done them," Gaara told, about to close the door.

"Gaara?"

The redhead didn't push the door close but didn't open it more, either. "What?" he snapped. As long as there was an almost closed cellar door between him and Kankuro, he could afford that kind of harsh tone.

Kankuro was silent for a moment, as if searching for the right words. "Are you really okay? Has something happened?" the brunette asked, worry clear in his voice. He was sure something was occupying Gaara's mind and was curious about what it was.

"I'm just tired, that's all," Gaara quickly answered. He wasn't tired at all but he wanted to get rid of Kankuro. He didn't know what had roused the brunette's interest - he thought he had been acting perfectly normal these past few days.

"Alright. But you can talk to me anytime okay?" Kankuro said, leaning his hand on the cellar door and opening it slightly. He wanted to see his little brother's face - that way he would know if the redhead lied.

Gaara recoiled as he felt the door being pushed open a little. He was pretty sure Kankuro was only bothering him because the brunette had nothing better to do. It unnerved Gaara. He wanted to be alone. The door was pushed a little more open again, even though he tried to keep it only ajar.

"I know," he quickly replied and slammed the door shut, knowing that Kankuro would never come to the cellar, not even if the brunette's life depended on it.

Gaara turned the lights off and crawled onto his bed, putting on the blanket. It was chilly and jet black in the windowless cellar. He couldn't hear a sound but his own breathing. The cellar was underground and the door was thick - no sounds could be easily heard from there to the other rooms of the house.

In other words, it was a perfect place to be in peace. That was just what Gaara needed.

* * *

The school had just ended for the day and students were thronging out of the building. Near the school gates, Naruto saw a glimpse of red hair.

"Hey, wait Gaara!" Naruto shouted, running to catch the redhead.

Gaara turned around to see who had called him. Noticing it was the same blond who had eagerly tried to befriend him in the past two weeks, he averted his gaze and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Naruto yelled again.

The said redhead made no attempt to stop but didn't quicken his pace, either. He wouldn't say he was accustomed to being in Naruto's company, he just didn't feel like using all his energy to shoo the boy away. It wasn't like they were friends or anything, even though the blond seemed to live in that kind of delusion.

"You could've waited, you know?" Naruto panted as he finally got to Gaara. "It's not nice to make people run, especially your friends."

"Who said you had to run? You could've just stayed behind, like the rest of the people. Besides, were are _not_ friends," Gaara retorted. After Naruto had escorted him home about two weeks ago he couldn't act too harshly anymore - it just didn't feel right to do so.

"But then I'd have to walk home alone, and you too," Naruto said, ignoring the tense tone in the other boy's reply. Some days he had almost lost hope and thought it would be impossible to get close to the redhead. Gaara just appeared to be in no need of anyone's kindness. It hurt Naruto, for he knew everyone needed caring.

"I don't mind walking alone," Gaara said, really meaning it. He checked his cell phone to look what time it was. Still 15 more minutes till he'd be home.

"I do! And I know you like to hang around with me, too. If you didn't, you would have pushed me away already," Naruto pointed out, hoping to change the topic soon.

"It would be better if you just left me be," Gaara told the blond. He was well aware that he had voluntarily spent time with Naruto and Shikamaru. To his horror, he had actually enjoyed it. _But only a little_, he added quickly to himself.

He didn't like the thoughts the blond boy awakened in him. Naruto's smiles and happiness seemed to ease the pain in his chest and it made him feel insecure. Gaara was accustomed to cautiousness and loneliness - the sudden change in that was scaring him. It was like Naruto's light-heartedness was rubbing off on him, too.

Every now and then, the redhead almost forgot his family life in the blue eyed boy's company. In some of his 'delusional' moments, as Gaara liked to call them, he was having second thoughts about the blond - maybe it wasn't totally useless to let the boy spend time with him. Despite all, Gaara didn't let himself get attached to the boy, even though he secretly enjoyed having other company than his brother's. But that was a fact he was not going to tell the blond, ever.

Naruto ignored Gaara's biting comment and decided to change the topic. "What are you gonna do this weekend?" he asked.

He hoped he could spend time with the redhead. The loneliness Naruto felt at home was agonizing. At weekends it was even worse when he had no school to distract himself with.

"Nothing, I guess," Gaara mumbled.

In reality, he had his homework and some school projects to do, even though they weren't to be handed back until next month. Some of his paintings were still unfinished and he was looking forward to finish them. Of course, Gaara didn't bother telling any of this to the blond, for he liked to keep even the trivialest of things to himself.

"Great! I guess we could hang around, then?" Naruto exclaimed happily. He had summoned all his courage to ask that question, again. Hopefully the redhead wouldn't turn him down.

The wide, warm smile was back on Naruto's face as he looked at Gaara. The blond looked so joyous that the redhead didn't have the heart to outright refuse. What was happening to him? He had spent two weeks in Naruto's company and he had already become softer. _Damned blond_, the redhead thought.

"Whatever," Gaara murmured. He hated himself for not wanting to upset the blond boy.

He was unable to understand why the blond boy wanted to hang around with him. He had never seen anyone become so happy at the thought of spending time with him.

"See you then!" Naruto shouted kindly before departing to his own house.

Gaara merely nodded, continuing to walk home. Why had he agreed? Now he had to hang around with the boy, not matter if he wanted it or not. Maybe Naruto would finally see that it wasn't fun being around him - would the blond leave him be after that? _Well... It's worth trying_, Gaara thought. That's what had always happened before, so why would Naruto be any different?

_**To be continued...**_

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**A/N:** _I know this chapter was very casual but some things needed time to develop. This chapter was pretty much about Gaara's thoughts and his interaction with Naruto. That is reasonable because the next chapter will be more Kankuro and Gaara centric, if you know what I mean._

_I'm not sure if this is important to say but there's a meaning in Kiba's way of acting. I don't write any scenes that aren't relevant to the plotline/atmospehere/character development in some way or another._


	4. The intruder

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings****:** yaoi, **INCEST**, **NON-CONSENSUAL**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.  
**Note:** Thoughts are in _italics._

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**A/N:** _There's a __**non-consensual scene**__ in this chapter and some people might not want to read it. If you feel you don't want to read that part, please skip it because I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I've marked that part between '__**XXX**__'s so that you know what part to skip._

_I said earlier I'd shorten the chapters but I don't know if I can - I have to be faitful to the structure of this story. Besides, long chapters are a part of my style. I drew a picture about this chapter, see my profile for links._

_Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and faves! And thanks for reading! I appreciate it._

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**Chapter 4: The intruder**

It was Saturday and neither Kankuro nor Gaara had anywhere to go. They were lounging on the couch, watching TV. The brunette usually had the weekends off as he worked quite long hours from Monday to Friday. As much as he liked his job and welcomed the money they needed, he was enjoying the freetime, too. Especially with Gaara around.

"Change the channel, I don't wanna watch this stupid show," Kankuro growled, hiding his eyes behind his hands.

Gaara changed to another channel and for a while the brothers were watching a documentary of Poland's history. Kankuro let out an annoyed grunt, moving his hands back to shield his eyes.

"Nooo... Not this! This is boring..." the brunette wailed quietly.

To his horror, the redhead seemed to take interest in the program. Gaara smirked at his brother's agony, for he knew history was not on Kankuro's list of exciting topics.

"Shh... I wanna watch this. This documentary could actually help me write my history essay," Gaara said, burying himself on the program.

"Whatever... It's still boring as hell. Are you sure you wanna watch this?" Kankuro tried, exasperated at the dull voiceover of the documentary.

"Shh," Gaara shushed, not tearing his eyes off of the TV screen.

Gaara enjoyed the leisure time, not sensing any danger in the air. Lately it had been peaceful at home, for Kankuro had been in a good mood round the clock. The brothers had gone to see a movie and wandered around the city while Gaara had taken pictures.

The redhead had even taken one picture of Kankuro leaning against a balustrade of a bridge, looking into the distance. In this particular picture's case Gaara preferred it black and white, for the lack of colors gave an effect of everlasting moment. He wished his brother would stay calm for eternity - he didn't miss the violent Kankuro.

On the couch, a bored Kankuro took Gaara's arm and caressed it. He traced his fingertips along the scars he had made a couple of weeks ago when he had lost his mind. He didn't remember much of it, though. The brunette touched Gaara's face ever so slightly, watching the redhead's reactions.

Under the spell of the program, Gaara didn't seem to go against Kankuro's actions. The brunette leaned towards the redhead and moved his hand to rub the other's chest. Gaara was still watching TV, not paying any mind to his brother.

Deciding it was time to get the younger male's full attention, Kankuro slipped his hand under the redhead's shirt, fondling his stomach. He frowned as his fingers traced the scars which formed the kanji meaning 'love'. He had hurt his little brother back then... He was supposed to protect him, not endanger. He scolded himself for it and decided that today, he would try his best to be a caring brother. Yes, today he would express his love to the redhead. For once, he would do the right thing.

**XXX**

The younger brother startled at the unexpected skin contact, looking at the brunette. Kankuro's eyes were soft and held no malice when Gaara met his gaze. Moving his hand upwards, the older brother rubbed the redhead's nipple, squeezing it tentatively.

"I think this is more interesting, don't you think?" the brunette asked, enjoying to distract the redhead. He was glad that Gaara wasn't so keenly watching the stupid documentary anymore.

Gaara let out a sigh of pleasure but he couldn't relax. Kankuro would get impatient if he was rejected. He didn't want to upset his brother who had been such a good person to him lately but honestly, right now he didn't feel like agreeing to this.

"Ah... Can't we just watch TV?" Gaara asked, inching away from Kankuro.

"C'mon, it's boring. _This_ is more fun, isn't it?" the brunette replied, brushing his fingers against the sensitive nipple.

He pulled Gaara's shirt upwards and soon the redhead felt his brother's soft tongue licking his nipple. A light bite made Gaara let out a sharp groan. By now, he was much too distracted to tune in the documentary but somehow, it didn't bother him quite that much.

Kankuro yanked Gaara's pants down, lowering them to his knees. Gaara tensed and tried to predict what would be happening. Pleasure was mixing with anxiousness, making Gaara feel exited and unnerved at the same time.

"Can't we watch this program first, we could do this later," the confused redhead tried.

"I doubt you want to do this later," Kankuro purred while he started to stroke his little brother's member in a steady rhythm.

"Mmmh..." was all Gaara could manage. His logical thoughts were slowly escaping him, being replaced by more primitive ones.

All the tension in Gaara's body suddenly turned into excitement when he felt his hardened lenght slide deep into the wet hotness that was his brother's mouth.

"Ah!" Gaara cried, putting his hands to his brother's head and grabbing the brown hair, partly trying to push him away.

_He has no idea what he's doing to me_, Gaara thought.

In reality, it was quite the contrary. Kankuro knew exactly what kind of reactions this would wake in the redhead. If his mouth hadn't been occupied, he would have smiled in amusement.

The sensation was so overwhelming it took all of Gaara's willpower not to give in. Kankuro was deepthroating him in such a delicious manner that he felt his body stop resisting and surrendering to the arousing attention he was given. Lifting his hips to get his member deeper into his brother's mouth, Gaara closed his eyes, taking in the pleasure of the act.

"Aah... Mmhh... If you don't s-stop I'll com—" Gaara moaned, tightening his grip on Kankuro's hair but was rudely interrupted by the sudden sound of the doorbell. Off balanced, Gaara tried to get up and make Kankuro stop. However, the brunette had other things in his mind than going to answer the door.

"But Kankuro, there's someone at the door and we—" Gaara began, interrupted again as the brunette took his member fully to the hotness of his mouth.

The older of the brothers couldn't care less about who was behind the door - it was most likely one of his friends and they could come back later. Not letting his little brother struggle but pushed him down again, he sucked the hardened lenght more feverishly.

The redhead let out a loud moan, arching his back and closing his eyes. He was close to the edge again and all he could think was pleasure, the previous anxiousness forgotten. Bucking his hips violently Gaara regripped the brunette's hair, splashing cum down his brother's throat.

Swallowing, Kankuro licked his lips and watched the redhead in rapture. To him, Gaara looked always so innocent after climaxing. The sight made his heart beat faster and he thought what would be suitable to do next. He had some intriguing ideas...

Loud thumps and muffled shouts carried from the front door. The intruder was stubborn, whoever it was. Kankuro had no intention of going to see who it was. Right now, he had better things to do.

"Gaara, you have to be more quiet so that your moans won't echo through the front door. You know it's not good if someone hears us..." Kankuro warned his little brother. As much as he loved the vocal side of the redhead, he didn't want them to get caught.

"Y-Yes... Sorry, I didn't realize," Gaara replied, still faint from the recent experience.

"It's okay," Kankuro purred as he got up from the couch. "I'll be right back." Looking at the retreating back, Gaara wasn't sure if the brunette had gone to answer the door or not. Unsure, he pulled his shirt down to decrease the exposed feeling he had.

Soon the brunette was back in the living room. Putting a tube onto the coffee table, he sat beside the redhead who was already pulling his pants up.

"Not just yet," Kankuro whispered as he kissed his little brother gently. Gaara started but after a moment of hesitation, responded to the kiss shyly. He prayed things would go smoothly without additional drama. He knew the brunette was calm now but from past experience, he knew better than to let his guard down.

Kankuro disgarded the redhead from clothes while pressing soft kisses along the his body. It didn't take long for him to get rid of his own clothes either. Leaning towards Gaara, he pinned the younger male to the couch. Gaara moaned quietly at warm skin contact and let out a more audible gasp, as he felt his brother's erection brush against his thigh.

The older brother reached for the lube tube and applied the gel to his fingers. He started to prepare Gaara, all the time caressing the redhead gently. Gaara tensed as fingers with cold jell penetrated him and glanced nervously at the brunette. Kankuro saw fear in the endless pools of greenness that were his little brother's eyes. Gaara feared him, and the fact hurt him. He knew he lost it sometimes but lately he had been feeling better again.

_Why can't he just trust me?_ he thought, desperate to make everything up to him.

"You don't need to be afraid... I won't hurt you, I promise," Kankuro whispered, pushing his fingers deeper, streching the orifice. The emotion in the jade eyes didn't change, even though the redhead nodded. The brunette flexed his fingers, rubbing them against the nerve spot. Gaara moaned and gripped Kankuro's shoulders.

The brunette leaned closer, tracing soft kisses along the redhead's neck. He wanted to assure Gaara that everything would be fine - he was feeling good and stable now. He hated it when distrust, fear and even dislike were written all over Gaara's face when he approached him.

He wanted to see happiness and ingenuousness when he looked at his little brother. He knew his actions were against the law but nevertheless, he tried his best to be a decent big brother. Still, everytime he glanced at the jade green orbs, he knew he was nowhere near his goal.

"Gaara... Please, trust me. I-I... love you," Kankuro breathed, almost swallowing the last words back as he was about to say them.

Green eyes widened slightly at the words. Kankuro rarely said those kind of things to him unless he was really emotional or feeling guilty about something. Honestly, the redhead didn't know what to say. Of course he loved his brother, but not in a romantic way. He didn't dare to say it aloud, though, for he didn't wish to upset Kankuro more. The black eyes already reflected sadness and concern and he wasn't going to increase those feelings.

"I... I know," Gaara finally replied. He knew better than well that now was not the time to angry Kankuro with difficult answers.

Deciding Gaara was ready, the brunette removed his fingers. Rubbing lube to his erection, he positioned the tip on the entrance. Carefully, he thrusted inside, not tearing his eyes away from Gaara. He wanted to know if he was hurting him. For him the pressure was doing wonders but he couldn't be sure if the redhead felt the same.

"K-Kan-kuro," Gaara gasped, clenching his eyes shut.

He gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on Kankuro. He was used to penetration but despite that, the act didn't feel pleasurable at first. Soon enough, he willed himself to relax. His tension once again started to merge with exitement, until pleasure and desire took him over.

"Does it hurt?" Kankuro asked in a worried voice. Gaara's quietness didn't give him any guidance whether or not the redhead was enjoying. The brunette pushed tentatively deeper while he started to stroke Gaara's member again. That earned a rasped moan from the redhead.

"N-No... it feels... g-good," Gaara told quite truthfully.

Quickening the pace, Kankuro timed his thrusts with the stroking. To him, the tightness and pressure felt heavenly, his groans growing louder with each thrust. The pleasure was overwhelming but most of all, he delighted the expressions on Gaara's face. He couldn't help but stare at the redhead whose normally pale cheeks had now a tint of pink and whose usually sharp eyes were currently unfocused.

Gaara's breathing grew heavier each time his brother's member hit the prostrate in sync with the stroking. He wrapped his legs around the brunette as if signaling he didn't want him to stop.

Usually in times like this, the suppressed moral thoughts crept back to his consciousness. He knew this was wrong in many aspects, but Kankuro's movements felt so shockingly good. He decided this wasn't downright wrong, at least not now when he was enjoying. Shaking all the thoughts off of his mind, he concentrated only on what he felt physically.

"Nnh... Don't stop," he moaned, eyes shut.

Kankuro thrusted faster, stroked faster, eager to get the redhead over the edge again. He kissed the tender spot below Gaara's ear, moving down to the neck. He knew what places needed to be given attention, if he wished to stimulate the redhead further.

It didn't take long for Gaara to reach the peak. With a sharp intake of breath he tightened his grip on Kankuro's shoulders.

"Ah! Kan... Kan-kuro," the redhead groaned.

Arching his back, he pulled the brunette closer to him and let out a low moan. As he came, his eyes shot open and he couldn't help but stare in the onyx depths of his brother's eyes.

Soon after he had climaxed, he felt suddenly exhausted. It was no wonder though, because he had already come once that day. He loosened his hold on the brunette but didn't let go of him. With a faint look in his eyes, he gazed at the male on top of him.

Black eyes were studying the pale, yet reddened face keenly. Kankuro brought his lips to Gaara's and engaged them both in a kiss. He knew he couldn't last much longer, not after seeing Gaara climax. Definitely not after seeing the faint looking jade eyes, the blushed skin and the slightly open mouth. With one last thrust, he let out a cry of pleasure.

"Ah—!"

Right after, the brunette filled the redhead with his cum and collapsed on top of him. The two of them layed like that for a while, letting the aftermath of the heat fade away.

Kankuro was all sweaty and he trembled slightly for the released emotions. While pulling his softened member away, he caressed Gaara's pale neck with his lips. The younger brother looked peaceful but tired, and his breathing was even now.

**XXX**

"Can you walk?" Kankuro asked while evaluating the redhead's state. He moved his fingers to brush away some red hair locks which were clinging to Gaara's sweaty forehead.

"I don't know..." the redhead answered. He didn't feel much pain but was more than drained.

Kankuro put his arms behind his little brother's back and started to lift him. "Can you wrap your legs around my waist?" he questioned.

When the green eyed male nodded and did what he was asked, the brunette pulled him to his lap. Standing up, he walked towards the bathroom. He opened the door with his foot and took them to the shower.

"Okay, can you stand? Or do you wanna sit on the floor?" the brunette asked again.

"I guess I can stand," Gaara replied as he unwrapped his legs and let Kankuro release his hold on him.

The brothers washed themselves but the younger of them stayed quiet the whole time. That unnerved the older one. He was accustomed to Gaara's silences but this particular silence, however, wasn't a comfortable one. He pulled the redhead close to his body and for a while, they stood under the shower without saying a word.

"Are you all right? Did I... hurt you?" the brunette said in a worried voice. _Did I screw up everything again?_ he asked himself, dreading what the answer would be. He wanted Gaara to accept his way of showing care, showing his... needs, the deepest of them.

"You didn't hurt me. It's just... This feels weird. I think it's abnormal for people to be like this," Gaara mumbled, leaning on Kankuro's chest. He always liked the pleasure but knowing who he received it from, he felt bad. He felt sickened because he couldn't see their relationship the way his brother saw it. He felt like he had deceived Kankuro because he couldn't understand why it wasn't wrong, even though the brunette had explained it to him many times.

"Don't worry, Gaara. You can't choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes it can be your own brother, and you can't help it. Love isn't wrong, is it?" Kankuro reasoned calmly. He knew Gaara didn't wholly understand as complicated concepts as love but it wasn't important. The redhead didn't need to understand - it was enough that Kankuro understood. The younger of the brothers only needed to succumb and let Kankuro decide what was good.

"You know that I won't ever leave you alone or abandon you? As long as you have me you have nothing to worry about," the brunette continued. He didn't like it when Gaara started to question things. Deep down he knew that he would go to jail if anyone found out about them.

_But it's not because _we_ are wrong, it's because of the society_, Kankuro thought little sadly. _Well, maybe this is a little questionable but it can't be helped_, he mused again.

* * *

After the shower, the brothers aired the livingroom and cleaned the evidence from the couch. Now they were in the kitchen, making something to eat. To Gaara's displeasure, the interesting documentary had long ago ended and there was nothing worth watching on TV. They were making sandwiches and green tea, when the doorbell suddenly rang.

"Maybe the earlier intruder is back, with a more appropriate timing this time," Kankuro smirked at Gaara. He then made his way to the hallway and opened the door.

A blond boy with bright blue eyes stared at him, grinning in a friendly manner. The bright orange he seemed to favor in his clothes almost blinded Kankuro. Had he seen this guy somewhere? He surely wasn't one of Kankuro's friends. The brunette was just about to close the door under the stranger's nose when the boy started to speak.

"Hi! Is Gaara home? Oh, by the way, I'm Naruto, Gaara's friend."

The blond stranger was smiling at Kankuro, all the while looking past him in hopes of seeing a glimpse of red hair.

A friend? Gaara's friend? Gaara had friends? Now Kankuro was stunned. Had he missed something? Since when was his little brother engaging himself in normal human interaction? Making a mental note to himself, Kankuro decided to question the redhead about this later.

In the kitchen, Gaara was making more sandwiches, waiting for his brother to come back. When he heard a familiar voice, his mind froze. _What's Naruto doing here?_ he thought, surprised. After a second, he remembered their conversation a couple of days before. He had promised the blond to spend time with him.

He made his way to the hallway, where Kankuro stood with the blond. The brunette was gaping at the boy as if his brains were unable to handle the information that his little brother had a friend. And seemingly a social one, too. Kankuro had always thought that if Gaara had a friend, he would be similar to the redhead in some way, like, being quiet, antisocial or unhappy looking. This blond, however, had nothing similar to his little brother, not at first sight at least.

"Gaara? Uh... he'll be right here," Kankuro said quietly as he turned around to call out his little brother. That was in vain though, because before the brunette had even a chance to shout, Gaara was already there, standing beside him.

"Hi Gaara!" Naruto yelled, taking in the sight before him. Now that he saw the brothers together he couldn't help but notice how much they looked alike.

"I came to hang around with you. Can I come in?" Naruto then asked, hoping he wasn't intruding their Saturday afternoon too much.

"I guess it's okay," Gaara answered after a short moment of pondering. It couldn't bring any harm to invite Naruto in. Nodding, the blue eyed boy stepped in.

"Actually, I came by your door a couple of hours before but unfortunately you weren't home," Naruto said laughing kindly. He had no idea why he had told it. Probably because he didn't know what else to say.

In a split second, Kankuro got over from his surprised state of mind and looked at the blond with a studying look. So _he_ was the intruder? Now that he knew it, he didn't like Naruto so much anymore.

"Really... We—" Gaara was quick to begin.

"We were shopping," Kankuro said curtly, interrupting Gaara. In a second, he continued before anyone could take the conversation further.

"Now, would you like to have something? We were just making tea and sandwiches," the brunette asked politely, a forced but natural looking smile on his face.

He could turn this situation into his advantage by acting friendly so that he could get information about the blond. There was always a chance that this Gaara's new friend wasn't so dumb as he seemed to be and could notice a thing or two, risking the brothers' secret.

"I'd love to, if it's not too much trouble," the blond replied eagerly.

"Not at all," the older of the brothers said sweetly.

Gaara noticed that Kankuro's behavior was kinder this time than what it was normally when the brunette talked to new people. For this the redhead was relieved. Still, he hoped that his brother wouldn't wrongly think that Naruto and he were friends because that wasn't the case at all. The blond just clung on to him and for having nothing better to do, he let him.

Naruto gazed at his surroundings. The first impression of the house was not really nice. The colors and paintings created an extraordinary feeling, unnerving him. Most of the paintings on the dark green hallway walls portrayed themes like desolation, loneliness and madness.

Standing in the hallway, Naruto could see into two rooms which he presumed to be the brothers'. The one he thought was Gaara's room seemed to have wine red walls when the other, perhaps Kankuro's room, contained purple walls.

Kankuro disappeared into the kitchen as Gaara led Naruto to the living room. On their way there Naruto stopped to look at one particular painting where a skinny figure seemed to scream in agony. Shivers ran down the blond's spine at the sight and he decided it was better to follow Gaara to the black-walled living room.

The redhead sat down onto the couch where he and Kankuro had just exercised some 'brotherly bonding'. Above the couch was a large painting of a desert at night. In the painting there were animal skulls on the sand and a big moon hanging in the sky. Sitting beside Gaara, Naruto was at a loss of words for a moment. Not knowing what to talk about, he said the only thing that came to his mind.

"You have a unique taste in art. Kinda oppressing for my liking but the colors of the walls match the paintings." That had sounded so stupid now that Naruto thought about it.

The redhead looked at the boy next to him. Judging by the hideous orange Naruto liked to wrap himself into, the blond would surely like more... positive themes than desolation, for example.

"Our father chose the colors along with the pictures. I guess we've been accustomed to them after the years," Gaara replied.

Kankuro came back from the kitchen, bringing three cups of green tea and a pile of sandwiches on a tray. He settled them on the coffee table before sitting on the armchair near the couch. From there he could easily observe the blond as he interacted with Gaara.

"So, you live in the neighbourhood, then?" Kankuro asked, sounding interested.

Naruto sipped his tea, aswering eagerly, "Yeah, a couple of houses down the street."

"Oh really?" Kankuro asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

He wondered how the blond had met Gaara, or more importantly, why the redhead had let this guy become friends with him. He didn't dare to ask though, not when Gaara was present. He could always ask the redhead when they were alone but he assumed that the blond's version of the happenings would be more interesting.

Soon after Naruto was talking about Iruka and his friends as if he had known Kankuro for a lifetime. Of course Naruto didn't mention the reasons to his loved ones deaths or anything like that. Those things he liked to keep to himself.

Kankuro was getting a headache because of the non-stop babbling. He was wondering how Gaara standed the blond's company without losing his mind. What intrigued him more was what the blond saw in his little brother. Why someone as cheerful and social as Naruto was hanging around with Gaara who was, well, nothing like the blond.

Gaara had stayed quiet all the time, not taking part in the conversation. In his opinion it was quite nice for Kankuro to take interest in Naruto. Even though the brunette was listening to Naruto he shot glances at Gaara every now and then. This didn't go unnoticed by the redhead who wasn't sure what he should think about it.

Would Kankuro be mad at him for not telling about Naruto beforehand? When the redhead thought about it, Kankuro had never cared to inform him about his acquaintances so he decided he wasn't expected to tell about Naruto, either.

The brown haired male drank the last of his tea and stood up.

"It was nice to meet you, Naruto," he said, going to his room.

He doubted if he had gathered any useful information about the boy. The blond was innocent, being genuinely interested in Gaara without any seeming ulterior motives.

Even though the sheer positiveness radiating from Naruto repulsed Kankuro he couldn't help but think that the boy was actually quite good-looking. His tanned skin matched his blond hair, emphasizing the amazingly blue, big eyes. His body was clearly sleek and well-shaped even though he didn't wear overly thight clothes to reveal the fact. A voice in the back of his head told him he should quit thinking that now.

Instead, he continued on imagining what Naruto would look like with other expressions than smile on his face. What would he look like when he was coming over the edge... He startled at his thoughts. He had never before had this kind of thoughts about anyone except Gaara.

The voice in his head told him he should really stop thinking this now, seriously. He closed his eyes, letting his imagination roam freely. He ignored the moralistic nagging in his mind. He hadn't cared about morals before and wouldn't certainly change the fact now.

In his mind he imagined what Gaara and Naruto would look like together. He couldn't decide which would be more arousing, Gaara dominating the blond or the other way around. Shaking the thoughts off of his mind he decided that in reality, he would let no one touch _his_ Gaara. The redhead was _his_, not anyone else's.

In the living room, Naruto had finished his sandwich and leaned back on the couch, glancing at the TV in the corner of the room. It had been recently watched, judging by the stand-by state it was in.

"What would you like to do?" Naruto asked, having some ideas himself.

Gaara hadn't been expecting the blond's company today and was therefore at a loss of ideas. Hanging around here would be too boring but in the other hand, was there anything interesting to do in anywhere else?

The redhead thought Naruto didn't quite fit in the athmosphere of their home. The house seemed to suck all kind of happiness out of people, burying all living souls into despair and darkness. He didn't want that to happen to the blond - the boy was an outsider who didn't need to suffer because of the ominous atmosphere. He didn't want the cheerful Naruto to get 'unclean' in here.

The blond had waited for an answer long enough and when none came he made a suggestion.

"How about we go outside?"

It wasn't such a bad idea after all in Gaara's opinion. He got up from the couch and headed to the room which had wine red walls. The blond followed, certainly eager to leave the black painted living room.

Gaara rummaged his drawer and pulled out some black clothes. He was starting to strip his shirt when realization hit him. He still had visible scars on his body since Kankuro's latest episode and he thought it wouldn't be wise to let Naruto see a giant kanji carved up on his skin.

"Turn around," he ordered Naruto who was leaning on the doorframe.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Naruto did as was requested. When he heard Gaara free himself of his clothes he was kind of relieved for not having to look. It would be too much for him to see the boy half naked. He shook off the images flowing through his head. He should not be thinking things like that! At least not now.

Gaara grabbed his digital camera and bag, walking past Naruto into the hallway. The blond followed, ready to go.

Just when they were about to exit the house Kankuro came to the hallway. His little brother was leaving with his newfound friend and he wanted to know where.

"Where are you two going?" he asked, curiously glancing at the two teenagers. Could this blond guy be trusted?

Gaara growled inwardly, annoyed of his brother overprotectiveness. "We're going outside to hang around. I'm gonna take pictures and stuff," the redhead answered reluctantly.

Not wanting to embarrass Gaara in front of the other boy, Kankuro dropped the subject. Nodding, he disappeared to his room.

In no time, Gaara and Naruto exited the house.

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**A/N:** _I like this chapter very much, because KankuroxGaara is my OTP, in a way... I thought the painting which Naruto takes a closer look (the screaming figure) could be Edward Munch's Scream. I like that particular painting even though it's oppressive and agonizing - there's still some grotesque 'beauty' in it._


	5. Friends?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.  
**Note:** Thoughts are in _italics_.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Friends?**

Gaara and Naruto were walking on the street, not having decided yet where to go. The blond was doubting if he could get the redhead into a diner or to the mall. "So, you like to take pictures?" Naruto asked, curious about the other boy's interests.

The redhead looked at the camera, then back at the blond. "Yes, it's my hobby. I sometimes use the pictures for my paintings."

Naruto was surprised to hear Gaara give that much information about his personal business in one sentence. "Can I see your work some day?" the blond asked, eager of the topic.

"No," came a stern answer. The redhead didn't feel like sharing that part of him with the blond.

Feeling his mood sinking at the sudden denial, Naruto cheered himself up with a smile. "That's ok. So, where do you wanna go?"

"I think the nearby park would be a good place," Gaara said, ideas to his photos and paintings coming into his mind.

It was now autumn and the trees were decorated with yellow, orange and red leaves. This was Gaara's favorite season. Everything was dying or going to a deep sleep. Leaves were rotting on the ground and the smell of earth and rain was in the air.

"Will you take a photo of me? You could paint a picture for me!" Naruto was almost jumping up and down with excitement.

_This is insanity,_ Gaara thought, shaking his head. Naruto had obviously too high levels of energy today. "No, I won't," Gaara said in a stiff manner, turning the other boy down.

That didn't seem to upset the blond who started talking about other topics. The redhead wasn't really listening. Instead, he thought what kind of picture he would paint of Naruto if he ever lost his mind that much. Damning the blond's influence on him, he continued walking in silence.

Lowering to his knees, Gaara took pictures of half dead trees and birds moving to the southern countries. Naruto was hopping here and there, rustling the leaves on the ground. Amused, the redhead thought the other boy had actually quite a good camouflage in this environment. He blended into the surroundings with his orange jacket and yellowish blond hair. Even though he resembled the season of dying he was so full of life he seemed to bring everything around him to life. Gaara smirked to himself and he wondered again what a strange person the other boy was.

"Hey Gaara! Come here!" Naruto yelled, his shout echoing in the park.

The redhead in question came to him, seeing nothing special in the place Naruto was showing him. It was an abandoned little cabin on the border of the park. Its windows were broken and it had unpainted board walls. Seeing Gaara's disbelieving gaze the blond was quick to defend his idea. "It would make a great pic, look how gloomy it is and all."

The redhead let out a long sigh. "It's not a good idea, Naruto."

Gaara had been quiet all day, taking pictures and not paying attention to what the blond had been saying. Naruto was getting bored. He had hoped the cottage would have interested Gaara and raised a conversation.

Not good at giving up, the blond tested the waters. "Why wouldn't you take a picture of us, leaning on that nearby tree," Naruto said, pointing at an ugly looking tree a couple of yards away.

Gaara closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Naruto's ideas were so stupid his head was starting to ache. Slowly, he reopened his eyes to stare at the hyperactive blond. "I don't want a picture of us."

"But I do! Come on!" Naruto said, grabbing the redhead's arm and heading towards the tree.

They leaned their backs to the trunk and Gaara draped his arm to take a picture. Naruto grinned widely whereas the redhead's expression was blank, his eyes showing a hint of unsureness about the situation.

Click.

Previewing the just taken picture on the camera's screen, Gaara seized the blond's arm. "Come closer," he said, yanking Naruto towards him.

Surprised, Naruto looked at the redhead, not sure what to think of. Gaara wanted him closer? The blond's stomach lurched, color creeping to his cheeks. He enjoyed the fact of the redhead pulling him closer, even though the grip was uncomfortably tight.

Gaara looked warily at the boy clinging on to him. Did Naruto blush? Just what the hell was the blond thinking? Taken aback, the redhead shoved the camera to the blond's face.

"Look."

Naruto took the camera, previewing the picture. In the said picture, there was half of the blond's head and half of the redhead's in view. Realizing Gaara had pulled him closer only in order to squeeze their faces in the picture, Naruto felt his feelings sink. Trying to cheer himself up, he said, "Hey, it's kinda artistic, don't you think?"

Gaara didn't think it was funny. If there was a thing the picture was not, it was absolutely not artistic, in any way. He deleted the shot and draped his arm again, clicking the button. He hoped the photo would turn out to be tolerable so that he wouldn't have to spend his whole day under the stupid tree while another guy was clinging onto him.

To his horror, he had to admit it felt nice to have Naruto's warm body near his but he was anxious he would give wrong signals to the boy about it. He didn't want to encourage the blond to take deeper interest in him. He was not looking forward on forming a relationship with anyone, not any deeper than friendship at least.

To Gaara's relief, the picture turned out to be better than he had dared to hope. In the picture Naruto was wearing his usual grin, his blue eyes looking deep like the ocean. He surely looked like the happiest person on earth. Gaara's face was impassive and there was a studying look in his eyes.

"Are you happy now?" the redhead asked, showing the picture to him. Naruto's eyes widened, staring at the shot.

"It's perfect!" he exclaimed. After a blink, he continued with a hasty voice, "I mean... it's better than the first one. Wow Gaara, you can really take pictures!" Laughing nervously, he didn't know what else to do than grin. "Oh, can I have a copy of it?" he then added, feeling foolish.

Giving the blond a studying look, the redhead took the camera away and put it in his bag. "Whatever," he muttered.

"Thanks!" the blond said happily, following Gaara as the redhead started to walk away. They were at the gates of the park as big raindrops started to fall from the sky. Quickly, the raining increased and the drops almost hurt when they hit the skin.

"Come on!" Naruto yelled through the roar of the rain, taking Gaara's hand and running.

The visibility was poor as they ran down the streets, seeing nothing but greyness on the horizon. After running a few minutes, they stopped at the front door of Naruto's home. Both Gaara and Naruto were soaking wet and dripping in the small hallway. The loud rumble of rain was aubidle in the house as big waterdrops drummed against the tin roof.

Gaara stood there rooted to the spot and examined the house with his gaze. It looked cozy with light brown walls and large windows. Even though the downpour was decreasing the amount of natural light, the house was welcoming and peaceful.

It was nothing like his own house where the rooms seemed uninviting even in the middle of the day. Why was he here? He could go to his home as well, it would only take a minute to get there. Gaara's deep thought was interrupted by the blond's voice.

"I'll go and get us some dry clothes," Naruto said, making his way to his room. Before the blond could leave the hallway, Gaara answered quickly.

"Don't bother, I'll be going home."

Naruto's face dropped at that. He had not expected Gaara to leave so eagerly. "But why? Don't you want to stay here? I mean, it's raining heavily outside... We could play video games if you want. I've got a couple of them."

The redhead pondered it a moment but decided it would be better to get going. He wasn't used to being wanted to hang around. "I don't want to intrude your home. It's better if I go," he said, hand already on the doorknob.

"Don't be silly, of course you can stay. You'll get more soaked if you go outside now," Naruto said in a friendly voice, hoping he wouldn't be left alone. "Besides... It is awfully lonely in here. It's rare to have a quest. I mean... if you wanna go I won't stop you but I really like to be around you," the blond continued with a quiet voice.

There was sadness in his eyes and Gaara recognized it was the same sadness Naruto had had when he had told him about Iruka. The redhead felt a sting in his chest, remembering how lonely it was in his home, too. He had a brother but it didn't mean Gaara had company all the time. And Naruto... he didn't even have a brother.

"But you have other friends, don't you?" Gaara asked, aware that the question was out of place. It wasn't a reply to Naruto's words, it was a follow-up to his own thoughts.

Glancing up, Naruto saw that Gaara's face had fallen as if he had just thought about something sad.

"Yes, but they have their families and other friends. I rarely hang around with then after school. Besides, none of them lives nearby," the blond said, looking at the redhead.

When the green eyed boy made no move to leave, Naruto entered his room and soon returned with a pile of clean, dry clothes and a towel. Grinning, he gave them to Gaara. "Here you are. The bathroom is there."

The redhead gazed at the clothes, then at Naruto. He didn't feel like deserving this kind of friendliness. He had been awfully rude to the blond before - he had even been about to beat the blond into a pulp when the boy had first tried to befriend him. Making his way to the bathroom he thought if this was what people called friendship.

Naruto re-entered his room, closing the door behind him. After changing into a dry outfit he gathered the wet clothes and hung them near the fireplace in the small living room. Taking logs of wood out of a nearby basket he put them in the fireplace and set them on fire.

At then Gaara came out of the bathroom and walked to the living room, drying his hair with a towel. He had black pants and a dark grey, long sleeved shirt. The clothes were fitting him quite well and the redhead was eternally grateful that Naruto hadn't forced him to wear any orange pieces of clothing. The other thing he was more than happy about was that the shirt covered the nasty-looking scars on his arm.

"Bring your wet clothes in here so that I can hang them to dry," the blond said, checking that the firewood started to burn.

Gaara brought the clothes to the blond and sat on the couch, watching as Naruto hung his clothes beside the blond's own orange and black outfit. "Thanks... for everything," Gaara muttered, feeling a bit embarrassed about Naruto's kindness.

"No problem," Naruto said, grinning. At that moment his stomach rumbled loudly, making it clear it was time to eat. Laughing uneasily, the blond put his hands over his stomach. "Ehehee... Are you hungry? We could eat some ramen. It's the only thing I can cook, actually."

The stomach rumbled again.

The redhead looked at the blond, realizing he was a bit hungry, too. He hadn't eaten ramen before but if Naruto liked it, he could try it as well. "I haven't eaten anything since the sandwiches back in my place. Do you want me to help with the ramen?" Gaara felt it would be too impudent just to sit and watch Naruto do everything after the kindness he had shown him.

"No, it's okay. The instant ramen I favor is ready in three minutes. I can manage it by myself, believe it," the blond reassured his guest. With that said he disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Gaara sitting on the couch.

The warmness coming from burning wood started to spread slowly in the house. Gaara watched the flames as they consumed the logs little by little. The rain was still drumming on the roof. It was dark inside the house - the only light sources were the crackling fire and the vague natural light coming from the window. At that moment Gaara was happy to be in such a cozy place.

Were he and Naruto friends? The redhead had never had any friends before so he didn't have a clear concept of friendship. But if this wasn't friendship then what was? Naruto had often called him friend... The redhead had always snapped at him and told him he was wrong. But now, Gaara was beginning to believe he was the one actually being wrong...

"Here!" the object of Gaara's thoughts exclaimed, putting a bowl of that mysterious ramen to the table in front of Gaara. The aroma of the food was so delicious it made the redhead's stomach rumble. "It's my favorite, pork ramen," Gaara was told as he picked up his chopsticks and began to eat the food. The ramen was as delicious as the aroma promised.

Savouring the food, Gaara decided it was the tastiest meal he had had in a long, long time. "I didn't know this kind of food existed," was all he said, too busy eating.

"Nice to hear you like it," the blond laughed, wolfing down his own share.

Finished with eating, Gaara put the bowl down. "It was delicious."

Swallowing the last of the noodles, Naruto nodded his head as an approval. "Best food in the world!" he added in an assuring voice.

His meal finished, Naruto got up from the couch and went to the fireplace. He put more logs into the fire, being careful not to burn his hands. Gaara got up too, and headed to the hallway where he had left his bag.

He checked his cell phone and to his surprise he had received one message. The message was from Kankuro who was worried if everything was alright. Gaara wrote a brief reply, hoping the answer would calm his brother down. Despite all, Kankuro was very protective of him.

Putting the cell phone back to his bag, he turned to leave the hallway. On his way back he stopped at the doorway of Naruto's room. There were two photoframes on top of the drawer but because of the darkness he couldn't make out the persons in them.

Stepping closer, he picked one of them up to his hands. There was a brown haired man with a horizontal scar over his nose and cheeks. He smiled at the camera, looking very good-hearted. Maybe this was the man called Iruka? Putting the photo back, he glanced at the other one.

In that photo, there was a man and a woman with a small child. The man had blond, spiky hair resembling the haircut of Naruto's. He had a stern face with no smile. The woman had blue, friendly eyes and light brown, curly hair. She was laughing and looking at the child, a little grinning boy beside her. The boy was obviously Naruto. So this was a family portrait?

"I don't remember them. My parents," a voice behind Gaara's back said.

Turning around, the redhead watched Naruto enter the room.

"You're lucky to have such happy photos," Gaara replied, wondering what had happened to Naruto's parents. The redhead had never had any cheerful or happy pictures of his family. The few pictures he and Kankuro once had were now burned and sent to oblivion.

"It's the only one I've got. My parents didn't leave me much when they... died."

The boy looked almost crestfallen, standing in the darkness and looking past the redhead at the family portrait. Gaara didn't dare to ask what was the story behind those people. It turned out he didn't have to, as the blond continued.

"I've been told my parents weren't happy... My father had been in jail and my mother was unemployed. They often had fights about money and stuff and when I was two years old my father killed my mother before committing suicide. I... I was found laying beside my mother, clinging on to her. The police first thought I was dead, too. After that I was sent to an orphanage."

Gaara stared at the blond, listening intensely. He hadn't had an idea the boy had such a sorrowful past. How Naruto could be so cheerful every day despite what had happened to him was a mystery to the redhead. The fate of the man called Iruka occupied Gaara but he thought it would be too rude to ask.

Unsure what to do or say, he just stood there. He had always been bad with words and even worse with actions. Imagining the most correct phrase to say, he forced the words out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

That earned a glance at him from Naruto, who tried to smile, ever so slightly, at the redhead's words. "It's okay," he whispered. The saddening athmosphere of the room irritated Naruto and he was anxiously thinking of another topic of conversation.

"Do you ever watch _Justice prevails_ on TV?" he asked Gaara, turning on the device. It was a TV-series of the police working in a city named Fire. It wasn't a violent show but intelligent and exciting.

"Sometimes," the redhead answered as they moved to sit on Naruto's bed, opposite the television.

The fireplace emitted warmness all over the house, relaxing Gaara's body and mind, lulling him into a sense of well-being. It was never like this in his home. In his house there was only blackness and chilliness in every room. Even his beloved cellar was a hideous place compared to this.

The redhead's eyes closed slowly. All the surrounding sounds seemed to fade away as he let himself relax. Unobservant, he leaned towards Naruto and rested his head to his shoulder. Soon after he drifted off to a deep sleep. Naruto tensed as he felt Gaara rest against him. Giving a sideway glance to the redhead he realized his friend had fallen asleep.

Carefully, Naruto laid Gaara down on the bed and pulled the cover over him. To Naruto, the boy looked extremely cute. The thought of Gaara sleeping in his bed made the blond's heart miss a beat. Switching off the TV, he left the room. Taking a blanket, he settled on the couch and glanced one last time at the charred logs in the fireplace, before he too fell asleep.

It still rained heavily as the two boys slept inside. The loud drumming on the roof and the occasional cracking from the ember were the only sounds in the night, slowly fading away as morning crept closer.

* * *

Yawning, Naruto opened his eyes. The house wasn't so warm anymore but outside, it seemed the sun was shining. The blond rose to his feet and stretched his back. He then made his way to the bathroom and took a shower and brushed his teeth, wondering if the redhead was still asleep. When he exited the bathroom he decided to go and see if his guest had woken up.

"Gaara?" he asked cautiously.

No answer came. Moving closer to the bed, Naruto glanced at the redhead. Gaara's black eyelids were closed, contradicting his pale skin which looked like ivory in the morning light. He looked peaceful like that. The sight was so beautiful that Naruto felt his breath catch in his throat.

Without realizing it, he draped his hand closer to Gaara's face and smoothed down the skin. The cream-colored skin was as soft as it looked like. _Oh God, what am I doing!?_ screamed a voice in the back of Naruto's mind but he was unable to stop his actions. He had meant the touch to be innocent but now that he could feel the cold, soft skin with his fingers, very unappropriate thoughts were flooding into his mind.

All of a sudden, a hand grabbed Naruto's wrist, slamming him onto the bed on his back as another hand seized his throat. Bewildered, the blond saw two cold jade eyes staring at his own.

"Just what the hell were you doing?"

_**To be co**__**ntinued...**_

* * *

**A/N:** _I drew two pics about this chapter. You can see them in my galleries, see my profile for links. And thanks for all the reviews, thanks for reading!!  
_


	6. Reaching out

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.  
**Note:** Thoughts are in _italics_.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Reaching out**

Gaara laid on top of Naruto, looking daggers at him. His jade eyes were cold as steel as he studied the boy beneath him.

He loosened his grip on Naruto's throat but didn't let go of his wrist. The redhead was more than annoyed that he had been awakened with a manner like that. He was angry at himself too, for letting his guard down.

He had been in a deep, relaxing sleep, a state he was rarely in. He had been dreaming of laughter and for some odd reason, of ramen. The dream had suddenly turned into a nightmare where Kankuro had come into his darkened room and lurked around his bed, laughing insanely. The brunette had stroked the redhead's face when the nightmare had suddenly ended.

At then Gaara had felt a light touch on his face and had acted instinctively, not at first realizing he wasn't in danger but at Naruto's home. He hoped he hadn't spoken in his sleep.

"Don't do that ever again," the redhead said, moving his head closer to Naruto and clenching the boy's wrist as if emphasizing his words.

Gulping, Naruto nodded. He felt like he was drowning into those endless pools of greenness. The face he had often secretly dreamed of was now so close to his own. Did Gaara even know how attractive he was?

The blond knew it was not a good idea to be thinking things like that at the moment but he couldn't help it. The pressure of Gaara's body against his own was too distracting. He was afraid that his hormones would get the better of him. He had to get away from under Gaara before the other boy would feel something hard pressing against his hips.

"You can let me go now, you know," Naruto said, trying to struggle away.

Gaara's eyes darkened as he leaned more heavily against the blond. "Not before you tell me what you were up to!" the redhead growled angrily.

Just what the hell was wrong with people? Why did they have to intrude his personal space and touch him when he didn't want it? Why were people trying to get advantage of him, like his brother and now perhaps Naruto, too? Why?

With lots of effort, Gaara had managed to create walls around him, a mask, to keep people away from hurting him. Gaara gritted his teeth. He had approved now that Naruto was his friend, the only friend he had ever made. He was afraid the blond would turn out to be a person who only wanted to use him.

"I'm sorry... I just... You looked so... be- I mean peaceful when you slept. I just wanted to touch your skin... It looked so soft," Naruto stuttered, embarrased. He had almost said out loud that Gaara looked beautiful! He had to be more careful with his words because he didn't want to scare the redhead away.

Confusion crossed the green eyes. "Why would you want to touch my skin?" the redhead asked, perplexed.

Naruto looked shyly at him but didn't answer. Begging Gaara to let him go, the blond made another attempt to get up. Gaara let him sit up but held his wrist still as if wanting to make sure Naruto wouldn't try to do anything funny. Seeing the green eyes still held a look of cautiousness the blond only smiled gently, moving his hand to Gaara's face.

"This is why..." Naruto spoke in a calm and kind voice as he stroked the redhead's cheeck and jawline, taking in every inch of the creamy softness.

Gaara recoiled at the gesture, yet the touch felt warm and friendly. In a strange way it felt natural to him whose world was full of unnaturalness. Thoughts started to spin around in his mind. Why did the touch feel so comfortable instead of feeling wrong? Why hadn't he punched the blond into oblivion already? Was this... friendship? Was this what friendship felt like?

Naruto looked at the boy, amazed at his reaction to the touch. Gaara's skin felt cool against his warm hand. To him, Gaara looked like he was in some kind of rapture, hungry for tokens of tenderness. Suddenly the blond's throat felt very dry, as well as his lips.

The redhead flinched as flashes of his brother and the recent nightmare crossed his mind. In a second he was back to earth again, realizing what was happening. Naruto was _touching_ him. Angrily, he shoved the blond away. He stared at the other boy like a wild animal, touching his cheek with his fingertips as if that particular spot was aching.

"What the hell was that?" Gaara spat, green eyes reflecting nothing but confusion. He wasn't sure if he had shot the question at himself or at Naruto.

"Huh? Wha—" Naruto started but didn't have a chance to finish the sentence.

"Did you think I'd be so easy?" the redhead continued in a dangerously low voice as he crept towards Naruto, ready to grip the boy's front and punch him through the wall.

"No, you've got it all wrong!" a perplexed Naruto quickly defended, not letting his face show the slight fear that he now felt for the furious redhead. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction from him. What could possibly be wrong with such an innocent touch?

Gaara gripped the blond's front and stared at him with a murderous intent. "You only wanted to get advantage of me while I was sleeping!" he growled. Did the blond somehow see that he was used to being subdued? Was that why the boy had tried to get to him?

"No I—" the blond squeaked until he was cut off again by the redhead's outburst.

"You just try to use me!" Gaara shouted, clenching his fist as he yanked the blond with his other hand. The only thing that prevented him from hitting was the memory of warmness and secure he had felt last night with Naruto. It couldn't all be a trick to get his guard down, now could it?

"No I didn't! I'd never do that, Gaara!" Naruto yelled, not wanting a fist mark on his face. "What's wrong with touching your cheek? Can't a friend do it? I thought it would be perfectly okay! Look, I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to," Naruto babbled quickly as he stared into the scary, homicidal green eyes.

"Perfectly okay, huh?" Gaara asked. He had heard those words before. He hated it when he now saw Kankuro when he looked at the blond. "For you it's perfectly okay..." the redhead muttered as his anger rose higher. For a moment he seriously thought he'd beat the blond up since he couldn't do that to his brother.

"I thought it would be okay for you too," Naruto said, trying to stay calm under the piercing stare of the angry redhead. "I wouldn't use you. You're my friend, Gaara..." he then continued. He really hoped that this would settle things.

When nothing happened, the blond started to get desperate. He was usually good with words and was disappointed when they didn't seem to have any effect. He would certainly not fight with Gaara, not in a situation like this.

"Oh come on! Just punch me then if it makes you feel better. Maybe I deserve it..." Naruto whispered, resorting to the words again. This time, he could see that the redhead's anger was subsiding even though the grip on his shirt didn't loosen.

"Why should I trust you?" Gaara asked. In some level, he knew he could trust the blond a little. Naruto was a person who radiated honesty and trustworthiness, you could see it from his eyes.

"Because we are friends," Naruto said in a calm voice. "That is, if I didn't screw everything up..." he continued and lowered his head. Right now he didn't feel like seeing the jade green orbs. He was afraid what he might see in them.

At the words Gaara let go of the shirt and retreated a couple of inches. He hugged his knees, not looking at Naruto but the wall in front of him. Maybe he had overreacted? It wouldn't be surprising if he was paranoid by now - living with Kankuro would surely make that possible. Being honest to himself, he hadn't been repulsed at the closeness of the blond. Somehow it had felt much less questionnable than when he was with his brother.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said, not looking at the boy next to him.

"Huh...? I... I'm sorry, too," Naruto answered, surprised that the redhead had apologized. Well, the grumpy boy had almost punched him into the face so maybe the apology wasn't too out of place.

"You don't know me," Gaara stated, still not meeting the blue eyes.

"Yeah, I don't. But that's why I'm getting to know you, right?" Naruto replied, grinning.

"Naruto..." the redhead whispered, finally looking at the deep blue eyes with a apologizing gaze. "I think I'd better go home. After all I didn't go back home last night and my brother might be worried," he continued. Even though Gaara was sure his brother knew he could take care of himself, he anticipated that Kankuro would fuss over him when he got back home.

"Yeah, your brother must be sick of worry. Sorry I didn't wake you up in the evening... You fell in a deep sleep so fast and I didn't dare to wake you up," Naruto said as he smiled shyly at his friend. Gaara always looked like he didn't get enough sleep and it worried Naruto. When the redhead had dozed off last night Naruto thought it would be cruel to not let him enjoy the obviously rare sleep.

"Nevermind. Actually, I haven't slept so well in ages," Gaara admitted, not yet willing to tell how cozy and safe he had felt in Naruto's presence. "I better get going if I don't want Kankuro to act like a mother hen when I get back home," the redhead said, the corners of his mouth curving up slightly.

Naruto's smile widened at the metaphor. He thought it was cute how Gaara's brother was so protective. For a brief moment he was a bit sad he didn't have anyone who'd look after him but quickly shook off the bitter thought.

Gaara got up from the bed and took his now dry clothes from the living room. He changed them on in the bathroom, mulling over what had just happened. The touch had been kind after all... He wondered if things like that would happen again. He wasn't even sure if he wanted it to be repeated. If he got too attached to the blond it could lead into problems.

Had he somehow encouraged Naruto to take deeper interest in him, or had the touch been just one between friends? He couldn't tell for sure. On the other hand, Naruto had told him they were friends, so that would mean the weak bond between them was one he could manage. He couldn't afford complicated relationships, they would become too difficult when his brother was around.

Besides to him, sexuality was a tender spot - it felt impure and wrong, yet wonderful and pleasant. He really hadn't had sexual feelings for anyone but Kankuro. He wasn't sure if he even could have... Should he distance himself from Naruto, making sure the blond wouldn't develop any deeper liking to him? But then again, a part of him liked to be around Naruto and didn't want to shoo the boy away.

In the hallway, Gaara took his bag from the floor and turned around to see Naruto. He gave the blond a wary look, unsure what to say. His own feelings were contradicting. Confusion was taking over his heart because he couldn't fully understand why Naruto had caressed him. To be honest he still didn't quite catch this friendship thing.

"Thanks for everything, Naruto. You're a very kind person," Gaara said, meaning every word.

"No problem," Naruto said smiling. "We're friends, right? Friends are kind to each other," he then added, smile widening.

"Yeah," Gaara replied. He didn't want to say aloud that he considered the blond as his friend but didn't deny Naruto's words, either. It was his way of showing that to him Naruto wasn't an annoying stranger anymore.

"Well, see you tomorrow morning then... I'll come to pick you up so that we can go to school... together," Gaara said. This was the first time he had suggested that. Earlier it had always been Naruto who had caught Gaara up on the way to school. Opening the front door, the redhead looked at Naruto one last time to see him grinning friendly.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow Gaara!" the blond sang out quickly before the front door clicked and he was left alone in the house.

Naruto had been sure the angry redhead would have punched him at least once but was positively surprised that he was left intact. He was ashamed he had clearly scared the redhead. Would their budding friendship end because of this? What if Gaara had felt repulsed? But he had looked like he enjoyed it... What if the redhead would change his mind, not appearing to Naruto's door in the morning?

_What if, what if, what if..._ rang in Naruto's head and he groaned as the confusion was building up a headache for him. Rubbing his temples he strode to the kitchen to make some breakfast. The only thing that could get him out of this quicksand of uncertainty was the allmighty ramen. Yes, to the blond ramen was the solution for all of the world's problems, at least for the most of them.

* * *

A couple of houses down the street Kankuro was sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast when his little brother arrived. Glancing up at him he tried to trace in what mood the redhead was. Gaara had been out all night after all and the brunette wondered what had prevented him from coming back home.

"Morning," Kankuro said, testing the waters.

Gaara only murmured something that distantly resembled 'morning' even though some kind of rare positive feeling was radiating from him. The brunette took a sip of his tea.

"Were you in Naruto's place all night?" he asked. After a small pause he continued again, "Did something happen or was it because of the downpour you didn't come home?"

Gaara sighed inwardly at the questions. He felt good yet confused but wasn't in the mood for sharing it with his brother. Avoiding the question, he only asked if there was any fresh coffee in the house.

Kankuro knew better than to push his brother at this matter. Even though Gaara didn't know it, the silence gave much more answers to the brunette than the redhead would have liked to.

"There's coffee in the pot. Pour some for me, too," the brunette said. He had just finished his tea and felt he was still in need for more caffeine. There was nothing better than black, refreshing coffee in the morning. Tea was also good but he had to drink it at least three cups to fully wake up.

Coffee was equally poured in two mugs. Gaara leaned on the sink, gulping down the dark, heavenly drink. The bitter taste of the coffee added with the rich aroma floating from the steaming cup always pleased him. The black extract lifted his spirits higher, washing away some of his earlier confusion.

"You worried in vain, nothing happened. I'm okay as you can see," the redhead finally spoke. "Will you help me with my homework today?" Gaara then asked, partly because he was eager to change the topic. Kankuro seemed to be calm and collected today or in other words, like any normal brother.

The redhead always appreciated Kankuro's help, especially in math. The brunette was very intelligent and had been exceptionally good at school. Gaara felt a bang of guilt in his heart. If Kankuro hadn't have to provide for them he would have attended to a university. He would now be educating himself to get a proper occupation instead of being stuck in this house with Gaara while working in the café.

"Sure, why not," the brunette replied, smiling. He liked to help his little brother who was not so gifted in natural science but was a genius when it came to writing, painting or art in general.

Kankuro slightly wondered what was going on between his little brother and the blond friend of his. Gaara seemed to be remarkably... happy at the moment. Happy? He wondered if that was a right adjective to describe his little brother's mood. Whatever the redhead was feeling, Kankuro knew it wasn't because of anything what _he_ had done. No, that blond boy must've caused it. Kankuro tuned out the thoughts - there was no reason he should worry. He knew the redhead would always come back to him. There was no way the strong mental chains he had tied around Gaara could be broken by a brat like Naruto.

* * *

Naruto was lying on his bed, on the sheets Gaara had slept on. He imagined again what Gaara had looked like in the morning, how the redhead had slept and then suddenly woken up, pinning Naruto down... Gaara had laid on top of him!

He knew it was really stupid of him to feel giddy like he did, laying on the bed sheets like some pervert. He couldn't help how he felt - Gaara staying overnight at his place had only caused his feelings to grow stronger. When the redhead had been around he had shut off all the inappropriate thoughts as well as he could. Now when he was all alone he let them roam around freely in his mind.

It seemed like it wasn't a good idea to touch Gaara, Naruto concluded. He had no idea what had made the redhead react the way he had. It wasn't normal. Even though the blond knew it would be wise to keep his distance to the redhead, he constantly hoped he could touch him again. Not only give touches, but also receive them. He tried to shake those desires off because dwelling in dreams only made it harder for him to deal with the fact that his feelings might never be responded to.

He wondered if the impassive mask on Gaara's face ever dissolved. In his sleep Gaara had looked relaxed and peaceful but when awake, the redhead was either impassive or frustrated looking. Naruto pondered if Gaara had any hidden feelings running inside, passion that only broke loose when the redhead allowed it.

Naruto pulled the pillow from under his head and hugged it, inhaling the pleasant scent that still lingered on it. If only it was Gaara in his arms... Naruto sighed. The redhead had only once hung around with him in freetime and he was already acting like a lovesick school boy. A voice in the back of his mind laughed mockingly at him. It seemed that his sense hadn't been as fast as his heart appeared to be. He sighed again, more deeply this time - he really was a fool.

* * *

Gaara painted furiously. It had been a long time since he had had this much inspiration and enthusiasm to paint. In the picture there were two males which both had only half of their bodies left. They were laying on the bottom of a pit, looking at each other as the sun shone down on them. For one of his works, this one was surprisingly positive.

Naruto had influenced him, diverting his thoughts out of the depressive depths they usually lingered in. Because of the blond, Gaara could now paint a picture where the persons portrayed weren't tortured or dead. When he was done he sat down onto his bed and looked at the fresh painting. Had he really painted it?

He touched his cheeck as if he could still feel the blond's touch in it. Now that he had had time to sort his feelings out, Naruto's gesture didn't feel so threatening anymore. He had really overreacted back then. Hopefully Naruto didn't try to think the reasons behind it. Gaara rubbed at his cheek but it didn't feel the same as the blond's touch.

Earlier that day Kankuro had approached him and pulled him into an embrace, stroking his cheek. Gaara had turned his head away, preventing the brunette from touching his face. He didn't want Kankuro to taint the new feeling he had by fading out the memory of Naruto's touch. It sounded silly in his head but the only reasonable explanation he could figure out was that while Kankuro's touch felt quite wrong, Naruto's didn't. Naruto wasn't soiled like he and Kankuro were.

Maybe... maybe he should try and reach out to Naruto, too? What if he failed? He knew how to touch in an affectionate way, like when he touched his brother but he wasn't sure how he should approach a friend. Should he still try? Gaara stood up and inspected the fresh painting closely. He was still unsure. Could things... change? Could he find a way out of his current situation? He closed his eyes. No, there was no escape. Still, Naruto offered him a distraction and a place that was the safest he'd ever been. Maybe he should be a little grateful for that. Maybe he should reach out to Naruto.

* * *

A few days later, Gaara was sitting on a bus, Naruto next to him. It had been the redhead's idea that they'd go to the observation tower which was set on the west side of Konoha. Gaara had been determined to pay back Naruto's friendliness in some way but didn't really know how. The only idea he'd come up with had been that he'd take the blond to a place he enjoyed.

Naruto had at first tried to coax Gaara into movies or to the mall but the redhead hadn't found the offers interesting. To the blond's knowledge, Gaara didn't enjoy spending time in public places like that.

It had been a couple of days after Gaara had spent the night at Naruto's place. When they had walked together to school the following Monday Gaara had admitted for the first time that he had actually liked it. Naruto had walked a bit closer to him than usually but the redhead had been in so good mood that he had let him. For some reason the blond had looked at him more often than before and his smiles had been wider and friendlier. The redhead had thought nothing of it - maybe the blond had had a good day, too? However, Naruto's behaviour hadn't changed since that day and Gaara had concluded that it probably was a part of this friendship thing.

The bus radio was on and Naruto was quietly singing the song that was currently played. It was a horrible, popular song that Gaara disliked from the first hearing.

"Stop it, you sound awful," the redhead said, not meaning to sound as rude as he had.

Naruto quitted but didn't let the stricture get him down. "Fine then. We could always talk you know, if you don't like my heavenly singing voice," Naruto replied jokingly.

"Have you been to the observation tower before?" Gaara asked after a pause. He couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Nope," the blond said.

"I go there sometimes when I want to be alone," Gaara confessed. Until now, he hadn't had any other peaceful place to go if he wanted to be away from home. The roofed tower was at its best when it rained because then there surely wouldn't be other people. He had sometimes spent hours there, listening to the rain and enjoying the solitude.

The bus stopped and the boys got off. The observation tower was in the forest, not too far away from the bus stop. When they were at the bottom of the tall tower, Naruto looked up at the dozens of steps.

"How many steps are there? Man, how are we ever gonna get there, it will take forever!" the blond exclaimed, wondering how boring it would be to climb up the stairs for minutes.

"There's 162 of them. It's not that much. Now come on," Gaara said, already climbing up.

"You've counted them?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Yep," the redhead told him.

Finally they were on the top and instantly, Naruto went to lean against the balustrade, admiring the view. "Wow, look at how small Konoha looks like! I wonder if I can see my house from here," the blond spoke exitedly.

"I doubt it because I can't see my house," Gaara said. That was one of the many good sides of the tower.

"So what do we do here?" Naruto asked, his attention back to the redhead again.

"Do? Can't you just be at peace for a moment?" Gaara asked. How could he have forgotten how lively the blond was? Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to bring him here, after all...

"I don't know if I can... What do you usually do when you're here?" Naruto asked, his attention on the redhead no more but on the details of the distant centre of Konoha.

"Well... I mostly sit here and think," Gaara replied.

For a moment the blond was quiet, looking as the ant-sized trains and cars moved in the distance. "Do you have your camera with you?" he finally asked.

Gaara nodded and rummaged through his bag. He always had his camera with him in case he saw something he wanted to eternalize. He gave the camera to the blond, wondering if the boy had found something worth taking a photograph.

Naruto leaned against the balustrade, taking a picture of the city. Gaara eyed him warily, fearing for his precious camera. "If you drop the camera, I'll drop you," he said threateningly, hoping Naruto would be careful with property which wasn't the blond's own.

"Eek, I have to be careful then," Naruto replied cheerfully. He had taken a few pictures of the landscape but it was soon getting boring. "Can I take a picture of you?" he then asked, looking at Gaara.

"Why?" the redhead asked, looking into the distance, at the departing trains on the station.

"You're the most interesting target at the moment," the blond said, already clicking the camera's button. He looked at the fresh picture, happy with himself. "Could you smile a little, Gaara?" he asked, ready to take another shot.

The redhead turned to look at the blond but didn't smile. Naruto seemed to be pleased nevertheless and Gaara was a bit amused how keen the blond was on taking pictures of him. Naruto's inspiration wasn't long-lived, however, as the blond's stomach rumbled loudly after a while.

"Are you hungry?" Gaara asked, meeting the blue orbs again.

"Yeah, a bit," Naruto replied.

Gaara rummaged through his bag and then draped his hand towards Naruto. "Here," he said.

"You... You made lunch for us?" the blond asked, as if not believing his eyes. After his shock, he gratefully took the sandwich the redhead was offering him. "Jeez, you're a real pal, Gaara. My stomach tells me you're his best friend!" Naruto joked happily.

The redhead's lips curved up at the words but the expression was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Gaara sat down onto the floor and took a bite of his own sandwich, admitting he was a bit hungry, too. The blond sat next to him, their shoulders brushing lightly.

"Do you want another one?" Gaara asked as he noticed the blond had already finished eating.

Nodding, Naruto accepted another sandwich. They sat in silence for a while, eating and looking at the landscape. Naruto was surprised that Gaara had seen the effort and prepared lunch for them, he really hadn't expected that.

Gaara took out a water bottle from his bag and drank a couple of mouthfuls. He then gave the bottle to Naruto, knowing the other boy had to be thirsty, too. Naruto smiled before lifting the bottle to his lips and after a few gulps, the bottle was empty.

"Thanks," Naruto said.

He really enjoyed sitting this close to Gaara. He wondered if he'd dare to lean his head against his friend. What if Gaara snapped at him and really dropped him down from the tower? Then again, the redhead might as well enjoy it and accept his gesture. After a brief moment of hesitation, Naruto summoned all his courage and leaned his head against Gaara's shoulder. He hoped that the redhead wouldn't get angry at him because of that.

Gaara tensed, turning to look at the blond. "What do you think you are doing?" he asked.

"I'm leaning against you," was the simple answer.

Gaara didn't say a word but pondered the situation. The weight of Naruto wasn't oppressive but quite tolerable actually. How was it that all that kind of little tokens of friendship seemed to be so natural to Naruto? Gaara wasn't so good with people but he had promised himself to try and reach out to the blond.

He decided he wouldn't lose anything by responding to the blond's gesture. He was quite sure he wouldn't gain anything, either, but at least he would pay back the kindness Naruto had shown him. Testingly, he lowered his head to lean against the blond locks. It didn't feel too bad, after all, and when he let go of his tenseness he even enjoyed it a bit.

The sun was setting, thus making the air chillier and in those circumstances, Gaara was welcoming the warmness emitting from Naruto. He felt safe around him, now that he was quite sure that the blond's actions weren't a secret attempt to get his guard down. To Gaara's pleasure, when they were sitting like this, Naruto wasn't babbling or bouncing here and there anymore . No, the blond was all quiet and calm. The redhead appreciated it and he felt like coming here again some day with Naruto.

When he checked his cellphone to see what time it was, he noticed that the last bus would drive past the stop soon.

"We have to go," Gaara said, getting up. Now when Naruto wasn't leaning against him anymore, his body shivered from the sudden loss of warmth. He decided it hadn't been a bad idea to sit like that, now that they were friends and all.

Naruto nodded, a bit sad that the nice moment between them was over. He had really enjoyed to have Gaara so near him. He hoped that the redhead had enjoyed it, too. At least the boy hadn't gotten angry, that was a good sign.

The blond wondered how far Gaara would let him go. Would holding hands be too much? Probably it would be. But he had seen a lot of friends doing that, it wasn't suspicious in his opinion. Even he and Kiba had sometimes held hands and that had been okay. But then again, Gaara and Kiba were two totally different people...

Naruto was quiet all the way to the stop and Gaara couldn't help but wonder what had gotten to the blond. It was rare to see the boy so deep in thought. Judging by Naruto's lack of concentration at school, Gaara hadn't even know the blond was capable of such pensiveness. The redhead was about to ask if something was wrong but decided against it. He enjoyed their silence and feared his question would break it.

On the bus, Naruto glanced at his friend, as if seeking for reassurance. The redhead was gazing out of the window, not paying attention to him. The pale hand was alluringly resting on the bus seat, between him and Gaara. Quickly, before hesitation and regret could overpower him, Naruto took hold of Gaara's hand and studied it, making silent notices how different his own hands were from the redhead's. He lowered their hands between them, gently rubbing Gaara's palm with his thumb.

"Let go of my hand. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea of us," the redhead spoke quietly but sternly, jerking his hand free.

He had accepted Naruto to lean against him but holding hands was something he couldn't allow. He couldn't, even though the tanned hand had felt warm... But wasn't it a gesture of couples, not friends? Or did friends hold hands, too? He wasn't sure. But he and Naruto were friends, so maybe the blond had meant it as a friendly gesture. After all, Naruto was so good with people skills, unlike he himself. Had he overreacted again? Had he pushed the blond further away now, when his intention was to reach out to him? He cursed his own confusion, his lack of social skills. How was he ever able to reach out to Naruto like this? He was beginning to believe he had had too high hopes of himself when he had decided to respond to Naruto's friendliness...

"C'mon, there's no one here in the bus except us," the blond said, a little disappointed. He was glad, though, that Gaara hadn't physically hurt him or yelled at him. Naruto sat still for a moment but after a while, he leaned against Gaara again, resting his head on the boy's shoulder. He knew it was risky to approach the redhead like this straight after the boy had turned down his idea of holding hands. He knew he was trying his luck but he couldn't help but reach out to Gaara once again. In the redhead's company he welt so happy and carefree, and when he was allowed to lean against the boy like this, he almost thought he'd died and gone to heaven.

The redhead gave the blond a sideways glance but didn't say anything. Instead, he looked out of the window as the neon lights of the city shone brightly in the darkness. No one had ever reached out to him like Naruto. No one had been so kind and eager to spend time with him, Kankuro excluded. At the moment he felt oddly peaceful and... happy? No, he wasn't happy, content at the most.

When they were almost on the bus stop near their homes, Gaara pushed the button. "Naruto," he spoke softly, careful that the earlier coldness wasn't in his voice anymore, "Let's go."

They got off from the bus and walked to the direction of their houses. Naruto's home came first and before the blond turned to make his way inside, he looked at Gaara in silence.

"Thanks for this day. I had fun," Naruto said, his breath steaming up in the chilly night air. When the redhead seemed to give no answer, he turned to go inside. A pale hand took a hold of his sleeve, preventing him. Slowly the hand lowered and grabbed the tanned palm. Naruto looked into the jade eyes, surprised.

"I had fun, too. See you tomorrow," Gaara said quietly, giving a light squeeze to the blond's hand before letting go. Then he turned and left, not giving Naruto a chance to reply.

Naruto stood there for a moment, deep in a world of his own. He looked at his hand, as if still seeing the pale hand holding it. A wide smile spread onto his face at the thought and happily, he rushed inside.

* * *

Gaara laid on the bed, unable to sleep. He had been staring at the cellar ceiling for the last hour. Getting up from the bed, he went to his bag and took out his camera. He laid back onto the bed and previewed the pictures. Some of them were a bit shaken. He was surprised to find out that the blond had taken so many pictures of him.

He had been a bit unsure when he had took a hold of Naruto's hand. Had he done it right? He didn't want to give any wrong signals. The redhead wasn't very good at that kind of little gestures, so he tried to imitate the blond's actions. The tanned hand had been warm and soft and now that he thought about it, it hadn't felt too bad to reach out to Naruto like that.

He thought he had already previewed all of the pictures but was surprised to see he hadn't. The last picture was one of Naruto - the blond was grinning, his blue eyes deep like the ocean. Gaara smiled a bit at the sight. This day hadn't been a total loss after all. Yawning, he turned, still holding the camera in his hand. Slowly, he dozed off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

It was morning and the sun was shining brightly outside. Kankuro, however, didn't even notice it, for his mind was full of dark thoughts. Gaara had been acting different lately and it worried him. He welcomed the fact that his little brother had been somehow more peaceful but at the same time, the redhead had been avoiding him, and that if anything annoyed him to no end.

When he had tried to approach Gaara, the redhead had turned away from his touch too many times and when he had looked into the jade eyes, they had reflected the old, familiar disgust again. It hurt Kankuro, for he tried his best to be a caring and loving brother.

At first he had been sure he had done something wrong to deserve his little brother's coldness but soon he had changed his mind. The blond boy had surely influenced Gaara and Kankuro wanted to know just what exactly was going on. It was okay for Gaara to have a friend but it was a totally different thing if that friend made his little brother avoid him. He didn't blame Naruto, no, the blondie was surely clueless about all this. What he was looking forward to was a moment with Gaara, a moment when he could talk to him openly.

The cellar door creaked and soon Kankuro was graced with a sight of his little brother. Gaara entered the kitchen, looking ready to go to school, and didn't even seem to notice that the brunette was slumping in the chair, forgotten. The redhead gulped down a cup of black coffee and was already about to hurry out of the kitchen.

"Hey, don't go so fast. And what's with skipping breakfast?" Kankuro asked, hurt that his existence hadn't been noted in any way.

"Too busy to eat," came a hurried reply as Gaara was already in the hallway.

"You have to eat, otherwise you'll faint or worse," Kankuro replied, now standing next to the redhead.

"I'll eat at school, okay? I'll see you later," Gaara said, turning his back to his brother.

And then the front door slammed shut and the redhead was gone.

Kankuro stood in the hallway, rooted to the spot. For him it felt like the whole house had somehow darkened even though the sun was probably still shining outside. All he could see was blackness around him. Shadows of agony and uncertainty were falling over him and without resistance, he let them drown him. The familiar ache was back again, eating him away. He could tell apart the normal pain and the dangerous pain - this was an emotion he could control, he wouldn't lose his mind.

He felt so weak and powerless. It was like he couldn't reach out to Gaara even though he desperately wanted to. What if Gaara didn't care about him anymore? No, that couldn't be. They were brothers, they couldn't suddenly just stop caring for each other. He shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. He wanted to gain control over himself and stop dwelling in the darkness.

Later, everything would surely look different in his eyes. Now, in his confusion, he didn't dare to trust his notions about Gaara's behaviour. Maybe he was just exaggerating things. Sometimes it was hard for him to tell apart what was real and what wasn't, so he concluded this might be one of those wavering moments.

One thing was sure, be there confusion or not, he was not going to let Gaara go, no matter what the jade eyes reflected when they looked at him. Gaara was his little brother, the only person that held importance to him, and he wouldn't let the redhead break away.

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**A/N: **_Thanks for all the reviews, faves and alerts! And thanks for reading, I really appreciate it!_

_Sorry it took me so long to update. This chapter was really hard to write because I wanted all the emotions to appear right and logical. But still, I don't like this chapter very much, to tell the truth._

_I made a picture about this chapter – it's about Gaara and Naruto sitting on the bus, Naruto leaning his head against Gaara. It's a bit __romanticized, so it's not 100 per cent the same as in the scene in this chapter. But I guess it's okay for everyone. ;) See my profile for links.  
_

_Oh, and if you're wondering about the painting Gaara made, I feel I should explain. The two males in that painting aren't tortured, even though half of their bodies are gone. I thought that together, they are a whole person. I couldn't write that into the story, though, because Gaara doesn't realize that symbolism (yet, at least). He just paints what pops up in his mind._

_The next chapter will be more interest__ing, at least in my opinion._


	7. Insanity

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, **NON-CONSENSUAL**, angst, slashing, **INSANITY**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.  
**Note:** Thoughts are in _italics_.

* * *

**A/N:** _There's a __**non-consensual scene**__ in this chapter and some people might not want to read it. If you feel you don't want to read that part, please skip it because I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I've marked that part between '__**XXX**__'s so that you know what part to skip._

_Sorry this chapter is so damned long but I've planned a structure for this story, which defines the content of the chapters. That's why I couldn't shorten this chapter._

* * *

**Chapter 7: Insanity**

It was Friday afternoon and Gaara was in the café Kankuro worked in. He was sitting at the table near the cash desk, waiting for his brother's shift to end.

Two weeks had passed since he and Naruto had been to the observation tower. Because of the exams in math, biology and history, they hadn't spent so much time together this week. At some point Gaara had tried to help Naruto prep for the history exam but the blond had clearly lacked the concentration. He had caught Naruto staring at him several times, and when caught, the blond had turned his gaze away, as if embarrassed. The boy's lack of interest in studying had annoyed Gaara who had snapped and left home. After that, they hadn't studied together anymore. Now the tests were over, and Gaara had promised to visit Naruto later this evening.

Lately it had been so peaceful at home, too. When not at work, Kankuro had been distant, spending a lot of time in his own room. Now with Naruto keeping him company and his brother oddly uninterested in him, Gaara almost gave into the alluring illusion that his life was normal. It had certainly felt so for the past two weeks. He didn't want to fool himself into believing that things had changed but it was hard not to give into the slight hope that for once, he and Kankuro would be like normal brothers.

Now Gaara was absentmindedly looking at Kankuro serving the customers. His peace was interrupted when a ponytailed, blond man sat next to him.

"Hey there. How do you do?" the man asked.

Arching a non-existent eyebrow, Gaara looked at the man who seemed to be near his thirties. He had never seen him before. "Do I know you?" he finally asked in a monotonous voice, a bit unnerved.

"Now you do. My name is Deidara, what's yours?" the man answered openly, as if they had known each other for a lifetime.

Gaara glanced at the cash desk again but this time Kankuro was nowhere to be seen. Instead, another staffer was serving the customers. He looked back at the man again, unsure what to do.

"It's none of your business. What do you want from me?" Gaara snapped coldly. He didn't let the stranger intimidate him. The man's gaze went up and down the redhead's body before his mouth widened into a lecherous grin.

"Fierce, are you? Hmm... I like that. I guess we would get along very well," the blond haired man said teasingly. He was leaning a bit closer to the redhead, putting his other hand to the back of Gaara's chair.

"I'm not interested in your company," Gaara told the stranger, his jade eyes narrowing a fraction. He glanced around again in hopes of seeing Kankuro. The brunette, however, was nowhere to be seen.

"You would make an excellent model, you know... Just for me of course. I have a nice place a couple of blocks down here. So what do you say?" the man said, winking at Gaara. He put his hand on Gaara's shoulder, rubbing it, while staring into the jade eyes like a predator. Before Gaara had a chance to slap the man's hand away and probably inflict some physical hurt onto the stalker, they were interrupted.

"Leave him alone," came an angry voice.

A livid Kankuro was standing next to the table. He was looking daggers at the blond man, hands clenching into fists. The man turned to look at the annoyed brunette, amusement clearly written all over his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know he was taken," he then said, taking his hand off.

"He's not taken, he's my brother!" Kankuro said, his voice rising a bit. He had had enough of this particular man already. He wasn't going to let the man lay his filthy hands on Gaara.

"Well, then you won't mind if I have a little... chat with your brother," the ponytailed man replied with a smirk.

"I told you to leave him alone," Kankuro growled. "Come on Gaara, let's go," he then added, looking at the cautious redhead.

Gaara gave the man an icy stare before standing up and walking to his brother. Before they were able to leave the blond man called out to Gaara, "Think over my proposal, will you?" The man glanced over the redhead's body one last time before the brothers vanished from his sight.

"God that man's disgusting!" Kankuro huffed outside. He was feeling almost nauseous at the thought of the man having his way with Gaara. "What did he say to you? Did he hurt you?" he then asked in a concerned voice.

"He was interested in me and wanted me to go with him," Gaara replied, equally annoyed. He was sure that he would've been able to handle the man without help but a little part of him was grateful that Kankuro had appeared. He hadn't liked the primitive look in the stranger's eyes.

"That makes me sick. People like that shouldn't be allowed to roam around so freely," Kankuro said, annoyed. "The guy's been hanging around in the café every now and then, trying to hit on teens just like you."

"Can't you do anything?" Gaara asked, looking at his brother.

"Well, we called the police once but they just said they can't do anything if there's no proof that the man has actually done something," Kankuro said, meeting the jade eyes.

His anger was already subsiding. He had been so shocked when he had noticed the man was sitting next to Gaara. The brunette let out a deep sigh. Everything was alright now. Still, if anything ever happened to Gaara, he would never forgive himself. He had, after all, promised that he'd always protect him.

One thing was proven again, Kankuro decided. Without his continuous presence Gaara would fall into the hands of perverts in no time.

That blond friend of Gaara's, that Naruto guy, seemed to be reliable though. Kankuro could trust the boy because when he had met him, the blue eyes had reflected nothing but kindness and honesty. It would be safe to let Gaara hang around with the blond, as long as the redhead kept in mind Kankuro needed his attention, too.

* * *

"I'm going to Naruto's," Gaara yelled. Kankuro was locked in his own room, again, giving no reply. Everything was quiet in an almost eerie way. When Gaara got no reply or any sign that his brother had even heard him, he closed the front door.

He had learned to be a bit more relaxed in Naruto's presence than before but he still kept most of the things to himself. He couldn't fully trust the other boy yet, no matter that he now considered them as friends. He walked briskly the couple of hundred yards that were between his and Naruto's houses. At his friend's door, he stopped for a moment.

What if Naruto had his other friends over? It would be embarrassing to barge in. Hesitating, he peeked inside through the kitchen window. The lights were off and he saw no movement. Ringing the door bell, he hoped Naruto would be alone.

After a moment, the front door opened.

"Gaara?" Naruto asked happily, opening the door wider. "Come in."

The redhead entered the house, into the darkened hallway. From the living room shone a soft, vivid light. The blond had lit the fireplace again. A warmness spread over Gaara as the heat emitting from burning firewood crawled up his skin, welcoming him to the homey house.

"Do you want some tea?" Naruto asked. His heart was fluttering from happiness and he had to do his everything not to hug the redhead. He was so glad to have company, not to mention Gaara's company.

Earlier that day, he and Kiba had had a fight again which had resulted to the brown haired boy spending the rest of the day in Sasuke's company, leaving Naruto alone. Kiba's stubbornness and weird behavior lately had been bugging Naruto, who couldn't understand what the brunette's problem was. He and Kiba had been best friends, sort of, before the brunette had started to speak badly of Gaara, telling Naruto that the redhead was not good company. But now, when Gaara was around again, the sad thoughts about his friendship breaking down with Kiba were dissolving.

"Yes," Gaara replied, following Naruto to the kitchen.

He looked as Naruto busied himself with the preparation of tea. It was nice to look at him, the way he brewed the tea and moved. The orange color really suited him, Gaara decided. He didn't hate the colour anymore like he had at the beginning. Now that he really looked at Naruto, he could see how the blond hair of his reflected light in a very beautiful way. The hair shone in a way that wasn't easy to capture in a painting - it was like glowing in the dim kitchen. Why hadn't he noticed that before? Naruto would be an interesting model to paint. Maybe he should ask him about it.

His gaze lingered on the blond without him realizing it. The whisker shaped scars on Naruto's cheeks were weird. Where had he gotten them? Would his skin be smooth or would the scars stand out if traced with a fingertip? Would—

"Here you are."

Gaara's focus was back in a second as a steaming cup of black tea was brought in front of him. The warm blue orbs of Naruto were smiling at him but he himself couldn't reply in a way like that, he didn't know how.

"Thanks."

They went to the living room and sat down onto the couch. Gaara let the fire capture his gaze as he sipped his tea. For him, it was entertaining to watch the playful flames. Now that he thought about it, Naruto was a bit like a flame: shining, warm and vivid. Gaara was actually feeling good at the moment. It had been peaceful at home lately and in the blond's company, the bad memories that normally went around in his mind were slowly disappearing. He looked at the boy next to him, paying attention to how the vivid light played with the blond locks. The sight was artistic, making him want to paint the unique view. Then his gaze lowered to the scars again, and he remembered his earlier thoughts about them.

Naruto looked at Gaara from the corner of his eye. The studying gaze he had received just moments ago had been a bit unnerving. Gaara had been very quiet the whole time, and Naruto couldn't help but wonder if everything was alright. The redhead looked pensive, more pensive than usual, that is.

"I'm glad you stopped by," Naruto spoke. He had already finished his tea and because he had nothing else to do, he finally started a conversation.

The jade eyes turned to look at the blond again. Gaara drank the last of his tea and then said, "It's nice being in here. So peaceful." Unlike the time he'd stayed the overnight in here, now he was more confident about telling how much he enjoyed the atmosphere.

"Yeah, I guess you're that kind of guy who likes silence and stuff," the blond said, smiling.

Gaara nodded and put the empty tea cup onto the table. He pondered a moment, looking into the fire before turning his attention back to the blond again.

"Naruto... How did you get your scars?" Gaara asked, moving closer to examine the marks.

Naruto tensed as the redhead inched nearer. Was it getting hotter in the room or was it just him? His breath caught in his throat as cold fingers suddenly traced the old scars. Gaara was _touching_ him! And in a _friendly_ way at that! It took him a moment to register he'd been asked a question. After he realized what the question was his feelings sank, fading away from the dreamy state he was in.

"I... I don't really remember it," he stuttered quickly. The truth was, he didn't want to go back to that particular memory, not now when Gaara was caressing his cheek.

"Oh... I see," Gaara said. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to ask about the scars.

He was about to take his hand back when Naruto took a hold of his wrist, preventing him. Gaara frowned and his eyes narrowed a fraction, coldness creeping into the jade orbs. He didn't like to be restrained like this.

Before Gaara had a chance to say anything, Naruto placed the pale hand back to his scarred cheek and mumbled quietly, "Please... It felt good... Always... alone."

The frown on Gaara's face disappeared as he heard the words. Maybe Naruto was the same as him? Gaara had been alone, too, out of the reach of anyone's touches. Kankuro had been the first person to show him affection. It had been weird and it still was but this touch didn't feel weird or wrong, Naruto didn't feel wrong. Maybe it was because they were friends and not related to each other.

A tanned hand touched the pale cheek. At that, Gaara flinched and took his hand back, not touching the scars anymore. He gave the blond a studying look as if searching for any signs of danger or ulterior motives. The blue pools didn't reflect anything but kindness and trustworthiness, however, and so Gaara decided it wouldn't hurt to be like this, even though he didn't let his guard down for a second.

Naruto rubbed the cool skin as he looked at the object of his secret dreams. He wondered what had changed Gaara's demeanor and provoked the redhead to touch him. Gaara was so close... Naruto's heart pounded a little harder at that. He moved his hand to the red hair and smoothed them, not minding that Gaara tensed and even raised his hand instinctively a bit. The red locks were as soft as they looked like. The jade eyes were boring into him as Gaara sat stock-still, obviously measuring the situation. Maybe the redhead didn't know how to act? Was this all really so new to him? With an impulse, Naruto pulled Gaara into an embrace.

In a second, Gaara's hands were on Naruto's shoulders, pushing the boy away. The blond didn't mind about that, though, but kept his hands behind the redhead's back, not letting go.

"Naruto..." Gaara growled, not sure if he should be alarmed or not.

"Don't you like this?" Naruto asked, not loosening his hold but pulling Gaara closer, not caring that the said boy tensed even more. For now it was safe not to let go because no violent vibes were radiating from the redhead, at least not yet.

At the words, Gaara fell silent and lost a bit of his tenseness. It wasn't that he found the gesture repulsive, it was that he hadn't expected it. He could feel the blond's steady heartbeat and at that moment, it felt actually nice being in his friend's arms. But he couldn't develop too much liking into things like these. He didn't want his faint feelings of liking and safety to grow any stronger than they already were. He couldn't get attached to the blond too much, it would only complicate things and safety was a luxury he couldn't afford himself to lull into.

"I see you haven't hugged too often," Naruto said in an amused voice as he pulled out from the one-sided hug. He had to pull away when he still could - the longer the redhead was in his arms, the quicker his own suppressed desires ate his reasonable thinking away.

"Who asked you to hug me in the first place?" the redhead asked, not noticing the rudeness in his voice. Those words were the first thing coming into his mind after the confusion of first being hugged and then, finding the gesture rather nice.

"No one, I just felt like doing it," the blond replied, ignoring the cold edge in Gaara's comment.

At first Gaara felt like saying something unfriendly back like usual but stopped as he remembered the decision he had made. He had decided to reach out to Naruto, not to verbally slap him in the face. Like before, Naruto had reached out to him, giving him back the feeling of safety when he had let him into his home, offering him tea. The blond had even hugged him the way he had never been hugged before. It had felt kind and genuine without any threat of violence or abuse. Gaara felt a sting of remorse as he realized he hadn't responded the same way but resorted to his customary indifferent way of dealing with people. But the truth was, he didn't quite know how to act friendly.

Gaara sighed and got off from the couch, ready to head home. He didn't know what to do so it was better to leave.

"Where are you going? Don't you want to stay?" Naruto asked, clearly confused.

"It's better if I go," the redhead replied quietly. He wasn't good with words, either. It would be impossible to repay Naruto his kindness if he didn't know how to show it. Maybe he had thought too highly of his own abilities and social skills when he had decided to approach Naruto. He had tried to reach out to his friend in the observation tower but even there, it had been Naruto who had strengthened the bond between them.

"But why? Is it because of the hug? Look, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or something," Naruto spoke, alarmed. He didn't want Gaara to leave so quickly.

"It's not because of the hug," Gaara started, then continued in a quiet voice, "I... I enjoyed it."

For a moment, Naruto forgot how to breathe. He became so happy and confident that he almost hugged his friend again. "Really? Then why are you leaving? Wouldn't you like to stay? I mean, I like being around you, I really do," the blond said.

Gaara glanced at the other boy, pondering his options. He sat back down onto the couch next to Naruto, a bit closer this time than before. "I like to be around you, too. It's different than being home," the redhead finally opened up, careful at not revealing too much. At first he had meant to say he felt nicer in here but it would've given the impression that there was something unpleasant at his home.

Naruto thought briefly of the creepy house his friend inhabited. Gaara had a point in that. "I'm glad you like it here but when I'm alone, it's not so homey anymore. It's only sad," he confessed, sounding a bit too sad himself. "You can come here anytime you want," Naruto then added happily, a wide smile once again gracing his lips.

The redhead's lips curved slightly at the sight. Naruto's cheerfulness was an enigma to him. "Thanks."

"No problem," the blond replied, still smiling. After a brief moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arm around Gaara, pulling him close. The redhead had claimed to enjoy this, hadn't he? It wouldn't be too obvious to hold him close again, would it?

"Um, is this okay to you?" the blond asked, wanting a reassurance.

"Yes," the quiet redhead answered. He usually didn't let other people than his brother touch him but Naruto was now an exception. Naruto probably wouldn't try to use or hurt him physically. He liked to be held tenderly but with Kankuro it always had an undercurrent of sexuality. With Naruto, he only let himself feel coziness.

When the blond had hugged him for the first time, he had been a bit alarmed about the boy's motives. He had calmed himself soon, though, reminding himself that it was only a hug, not a hidden attempt to get advantage of him. Gaara rested his head onto Naruto's shoulder and tried to relax. It wasn't so bad leaning against the blond like this. Naruto's breathing was calm and somehow lulling. He closed his eyes, enjoying the peace he now had. He didn't want to go home yet.

Naruto yawned. The warm cup of tea and a couple of badly slept nights were tiring him. When he was alone, getting into sleep was often difficult because he had to keep his guard up on some level. Now that Gaara was near him, he felt eased. It really did make a big difference when there was someone around. Being alone was boring and sometimes, when the wind howled outside or the thunder roared, even scary. But now there was nothing scary, there was only Gaara, the warmness and the relaxing sense that everything was alright.

It didn't take long before Naruto dozed off. This was the first time Gaara saw the energetic blond this quiet and peaceful. He carefully guided Naruto's sleeping form to rest against his own chest, wrapping his arms around him. Soon he drifted off to his thoughts, staring into the fire once again. He wasn't quite sure why he had the need to hold the boy in his arms. Maybe it was because it was the only thing he knew would be friendly to do. More likely, he concluded, he wanted to keep the blond close because the boy often made him forget about Kankuro, about what awaited him at home, about everything. It sounded selfish but right now, he couldn't bring himself to care.

Gaara sat next to his sleeping friend for a long time, not noticing how the darkness grew as the natural light flooding from the windows slowly died out. The firewood was already charred and it glowed in red, no more burning with visible flames. It was when Naruto woke up with a jolt that Gaara broke off from his thoughts and noticed it was almost night already.

For a moment Naruto wasn't sure if he had awoken at all. A part of him told him he was still dreaming as he noticed Gaara's arms around him, holding him close. His heart pounded in his chest and his cheeks were burning as he fully realized the situation he was in.

"Gaara?" he cautiously asked, not knowing if he had given something away while sleeping. The jade eyes locked into the blue ones and that was the only reply he got. "How long have I slept?" the blond asked.

"I don't know. An hour tops," came the reply. Gaara was a bit disappointed that Naruto had woken up. Now he had one reason less not to return home. His brooding was interrupted as a tanned arm wrapped around him while the blond's head was buried in the crook of his neck. It was like Naruto knew his thoughts of departure. How was it that the blond always seemed to know what to do? A hot breath hit against the pale skin, making Gaara feel weird.

"Naruto?" he asked, as if seeking an answer to the strange feeling he had.

"Don't go just yet," the blond pleaded, hugging him tighter.

The redhead didn't reply but stayed still. It was odd to have someone other than Kankuro this close to him. He wasn't sure if he liked this new sensation building inside him. It was strange - he didn't want to leave, just stay. How had he come to this? The blond was often annoying with his non-stop babbling and unability to stay still. How could it be that he now wanted to sit like this beside the blond, not annoyed at all but somehow... peaceful? He decided it was because most of the time Naruto had been asleep and quiet. He couldn't rationally explain, though, why the need to stay hadn't vanished when the blond had awoken.

"I have to go, it's late," Gaara said, getting frustrated that he couldn't explain his own feelings to himself. Besides, he had to go back now, his life was still the same as always. Naruto was only a distraction, he wouldn't change anything.

The blue eyes showed a hint of sadness when Naruto met the redhead's gaze. The blond locks reflected the dim light again, shining in the darkening night. To Gaara, the boy looked almost beautiful like that.

"I understand... Would you like to spend time with me again tomorrow?" the blond asked, slowly forcing his trademark smile back to his face. He didn't feel like smiling but it was a mask he was used to wearing.

"Maybe," Gaara replied. At that, he was graced by a warm and this time genuine smile from the blond.

* * *

Locked in his room, Kankuro let the blade slide along the skin, absentmindedly looking as it made light ornaments onto his flesh. His thoughts drifted back to the man who had been in the café that day. The blade sank deeper into the soft skin and Kankuro grimaced. The sensation hurt more than he remembered.

The man had earlier tried to hit on him, too, giving him a big tip and telling he'd get more money if he'd follow the man to his place. The scumbag had even gone as far as touching him! Kankuro didn't know anymore which currently hurt him more, his thoughts or the open wound on his arm.

For a moment he had feared he'd lose himself in the café, first when the man had hit on him weeks ago and then today, when the guy had spotted Gaara. Thank god he had been able to keep himself under control. If not, nobody knows what would've happened. He'd surely gotten fired at least.

If he had collapsed there, everyone would've suspected something was seriously wrong with him. It would've shattered the good-guy image he had created over the years. No one was ever supposed to know about his personal business. Some things were just too painful and embarrassing to ever tell anyone.

When there was one bleeding cut a moment ago, there were now many of them. They were all equally hurting, hurting good. Kankuro didn't like the pain but it helped to distract him from the mental agony. Besides, he felt like deserving the ache. He deserved it because of what he had done to Gaara despite his best intentions.

He hadn't meant to ruin Gaara's life, too. As if it hadn't been enough that his own life was in pieces, he had dragged them both into this anguishing hell because he didn't know any other way to show his love to him. He hadn't known how else to express to Gaara how beautiful, wanted and lovely he thought the redhead was.

Gaara was so important to him. Without the redhead around, he would surely be long dead by now. With Gaara, the mental pain was easing and he felt needed and important. He dreaded the future, dreaded Gaara's graduation and the moment the redhead would start a new life, without him. The knife dived a bit too deep this time and Kankuro let out a cry of pain. He didn't remember it hurt so much. Had it really been this painful every time before, too?

The worst that could ever happen was Gaara telling him he hated and despised him and didn't want anything to do with him. That would be the end of everything to him, both figuratively and literally. The blade hovered over his wrist, ready to dive deep into his flesh. He felt like drawing blood, drawing it good this time.

He was faltering on the edge, feverishly trying to stay on the sane side. He didn't want to fall, he didn't want to lose himself again. Fortunately he was alone now so if he collapsed, it would harm no one but himself. He tried to fight back the memories and thoughts that draped their clawed hands towards him, dragging him into the darkness. He let the knife slash deep this time, hoping the horrible pain would wake him up. As the agony registered in his brain he let out a pained shout, fully in his senses now.

The blade had missed his wrist, instead now sticking lower in his arm. What on earth had he been about to do? Gaara didn't hate him or despise him! Not now, at least. He shouldn't dwell in that kind of thoughts, they did nothing good in the end.

Kankuro put the knife away. He didn't feel like dying, not today. Maybe some other day, when he had nothing to lose anymore. Now though, he still had Gaara who needed him. He was important and his life had a meaning because of that. Kankuro watched as the blood trickled down from the smaller cuts and the deeper one. He closed his eyes and let it bleed. He would tend the cuts soon but not yet. Right now he wanted to feel the pain for a little longer, wishing he wouldn't fall to the depths of insanity anymore.

* * *

Gaara was slowly walking back home, trying to make the few hundred yards as long as possible. After the warmness in Naruto's house, the chilly night air felt really cold. He already missed the warmness of the wood heat, and the warmness of Naruto, too... Did people like Naruto really exist? The last few hours felt surreal to him now and he briefly wondered if he'd imagined it all. Despite his attempts not to get attached to the blond, he had still formed a bond of some kind with him. It hurt him, because as his home drew nearer he knew that the fall to reality would be tougher than ever before. But he couldn't shoo the blond away anymore, he didn't want to. Naruto was his only way to escape reality. He didn't want to lose him.

No lights were on when Gaara arrived home. There were no sounds at all, only an eerie silence greeted him. The contrast to Naruto's place couldn't have been more obvious. He quietly walked to the door of Kankuro's room, pondering if he should knock. After he and Kankuro had come home from the café, the brunette had gone to his room straight away and Gaara hadn't heard of him since.

As quietly as possible, the redhead knocked on the door. No answer came. "Kankuro?" he then whispered. Still nothing. Worried, Gaara opened the door and peeked inside. It was dark in there and he couldn't make out anything from the doorframe. Silently he stepped inside, inspecting the room. The bed was empty, so his brother hadn't gone to sleep yet. His gaze searched every shadow and place the brunette might hide in but there was no one in there. The room was empty.

A chill ran down Gaara's spine. So where was his brother? Suddenly he felt very small and weak in the big, dark house. The only thing he knew was that Kankuro was out there somewhere. He didn't feel like looking for him but his conscience nagged at him, telling him that he should care. Summoning all his courage, he started to search the house, careful at not turning his back on any shadowy corners or open doors. There was no one in the kitchen or in the living room. He checked the unused rooms that had once belonged to Temari, their father and their uncle but they were as empty as always. The bathroom was empty, too. It turned out that Gaara's room held no one inside, either. At then, Gaara turned his gaze towards one particular door. The cellar? There was no way...

Opening the door to his refuge, he peeked inside. "Kankuro?" he called before turning on the lights. The cellar was empty, too. Gaara let out a trembling sigh. He certainly hoped Kankuro hadn't done anything stupid. Where on earth was he? Taking a quick glance into the hallway, he could see the pair of Kankuro's shoes on the floor. So his brother was inside the house, despite all. He already thought he should stop caring and go to sleep when an idea struck him. There was one more place he hadn't searched.

Kankuro was leaning on an old box, holding his head on his hands. He was unstable, doing his everything to stay composed. This was the only place he could lock himself into without rising Gaara's suspicion. He didn't want attention, no distractions. He wanted to stay in the darkness and calm himself - he could do it, he just needed some time. He was afraid of himself. Any distraction could make him lose the sanity he so desperately clung onto.

Knock, knock.

A whimper would have escaped Kankuro's lips if he hadn't covered his mouth. He hugged his knees a bit tighter, hoping he could make himself so small that the world couldn't see him. His thoughts started to spin in a familiar manner as his fear increased. _Oh no! They're here again, looking for me!_ the brunette thought, gripping his hair. As the knocking sound came again, he almost screamed. He wasn't sure if he had imagined the sound. It felt so real. Everything felt so goddamned real! He bit his lip in order not to scream. It would do no good if he gave away his hiding place, then he would surely die or worse.

"Kankuro? Are you in there?" came a voice and then someone tried to open the attick door, with no avail. "Come on, open the door. I know you're in there."

_G-Gaara,_ Kankuro stuttered in his mind. Why was his little brother here? Wouldn't they try to get him, too? He was about to stand up and open the door in order to drag the boy to the safety of his hiding place, when he suddenly realized what he was here for. He was here because he didn't want to hurt anyone in his current state of mind. _Stupid brother, get out of here_, he thought, wishing Gaara would run away. What if he couldn't tell apart what was real and what wasn't, thus ending up hurting Gaara again? He couldn't afford that. He wanted to shout to the redhead to go away but he couldn't find his voice.

The door was banged again. "Open it! Goddamnit, talk to me, Kankuro!"

"G-Go away! Let me be, please..." the brunette said in an unsteady voice. Why couldn't Gaara leave? He was in danger! Did he want _them_ to get him? Kankuro surely didn't want to die in their hands, he didn't! He bit his fingers, drawing blood as his teeth sunk into the soft skin. As the waves of fear washed over him again, he gripped his bare arm, scratching it and thus opening the earlier wounds again. He screamed at the pain but he couldn't stop hurting himself. Maybe if he hurt some more he would die and _they_ wouldn't get to him!

The agonizing scream scared Gaara as he listened on the other side of the door. It was clear that his brother was unstable again. He started to wonder if he should really run and leave Kankuro on his own. He just couldn't, though, not when he didn't know what was happening in there. He had faced his brother like this before, so he could do it now, too. _Nothing will happen,_ he tried to cheer himself, not really believing a word.

"Please... Open the door. It's me, Gaara."

Kankuro gripped his hair again, gritting his teeth. Why couldn't they leave him alone, why did they have to push him to the edge until he would fall? He just wanted to be alone, unnoticed. In the darkness the attic resembled the cellar so much that he almost thought he was in that hideous place again. He didn't want to go back there! He ripped at his wounds again, screaming as it hurt. At that the door was banged again.

"Go away," Kankuro shouted, despair echoing in his voice. "I might hurt you! _They_ might get to you and hurt you! Please... leave now," he then said in a trembling voice, hoping his little brother would do as told.

"I won't leave, not before I know you're okay," the redhead said calmly. When nothing happened, he tried again, "Just open the door, okay? Everything will be alright." Still nothing. Letting out a sigh, Gaara coaxed his brother again, "Look, there's no one in here. I'm the only one. Now please let me in so that I can help you." He didn't know who 'they' were but he wasn't going to participate in his brother's delusions.

"You s-sure?"

"Yes. Now open the door, Kankuro." And then the lock clicked, opening the door.

Kankuro sat back down onto the floor and leaned on the box once again as he stared at his little brother. Was it really Gaara or someone else in disguise? What if he imagined this, too? He scratched the now open wounds again, not really registering the pain. As the redhead sat beside him, he started to laugh in fear. What if he was going to get hurt? What if he would be killed in the end? Kankuro screamed again as the insane thoughts didn't stop haunting him. Why couldn't they just leave him be!

"Calm down," Gaara said, taking in his brother's state. It was then he saw the horrible cuts on the brunette's arms. He had to get some supplies to tend them but he couldn't leave because while he would be gone, Kankuro could lock himself up again. "It's alright, Kankuro. Now follow me."

"Who do you really are? W-Where are you taking me?" Kankuro asked, not willing to stand up.

Gaara looked at him patiently. This wasn't the first time he had gone through this. "I'm your brother and I'm taking you to the bathroom to tend your wounds."

Kankuro only heard the sentence to the word 'bathroom', after that everything went very muddled again. Not to the bathroom! He looked around him, searching for anything he could defend himself with. Anything would do, just anything! The redhead was one of _them_, he was sure of it. He laughed a bit more. He wasn't going to die, not him! But the redhead, yes.

Gaara soon noticed the change in Kankuro and his own fear increased when he saw the brunette take a hold of an old hammer. "Kankuro, listen to me!" the redhead spoke quickly. He had not a second to waste now. "Look, I'm... I'm going to take us safe, just follow me, please!" he continued, unsure if he just should've run instead. Kankuro only stared at him, as if pondering his trustworthiness. "Just put the hammer away, okay?" Gaara added. The metal tool unnerved him to no end.

"You're not taking me there!" Kankuro yelled, referring to the bathroom. His previous fear was turning into anger because he felt he wasn't able to defend himself.

"O-Okay, we won't go there. Please, calm down," Gaara said, trying to keep his voice steady. For his own safety, he backed off a little.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" the brunette shouted and gripped his hair, collapsing onto the floor and dropping the hammer. _They_ were shouting at him, coaxing him and speaking of memories which he wanted to forget. Oh, how he hoped all those voices would die away, leave him be. The redhead's words were mixing with the other voices and he could only be sure that the boy actually talked when his lips were moving. It all felt so real, like _they_ were right here, beside him. He gripped his hair a bit tighter, as if it would ease his confusion.

For a moment, Gaara couldn't do anything but stare at his brother. He didn't dare to open his mouth, not after the brunette's outburst. He waited a bit longer and when the brunette seemed to quiet down a bit, not gripping the brown hair so violently anymore, he proceeded to his brother. Unnoticed, he shoved the abandoned hammer away with his foot, out of the brunette's reach. Then he gently lowered his hand to rest on Kankuro's shoulder, ready to withdraw if the older male should suddenly have another outburst.

"It's alright, Kankuro," Gaara spoke quietly, tenderly caressing his brother's shoulder blade.

Kankuro relaxed a bit under the touch, his mind easing as the loud voices were slowly dying away. He couldn't totally relax, though, because _they_ could come back any minute.

"Let's go to a safer place, okay?" Gaara said, his gentle touch turning into a persuasive grip. "When you'll rest you'll feel better," he continued, coaxing his brother to stand up and follow him. To his relief, Kankuro obeyed him silently.

"You..." Kankuro began, unsure how he should address the redhead. He couldn't still be sure if the boy was only a product of his imagination or a real person. "They might come back," he then continued, the sentence making perfect sense in his mind.

"But you are safe with me, don't worry," Gaara replied, not totally understanding what his brother had meant.

Kankuro climbed down the stairs from the attic to the hallway. Someone was speaking to him again, not making any sense at all. No one was around except the redhead, and the boy surely kept his mouth shut. "Why don't they go away?" Kankuro asked in a tired voice. He just wanted to relax, wanted to get away into a place where _they_ couldn't reach him.

"I don't know, Kankuro, I really don't know," Gaara answered truthfully. He wished he could help or at least give a proper answer but he couldn't.

At the words, Kankuro fell silent. They were heading towards a room which had wine red walls. He tensed a little, unsure if he should enter. "How do you know this isn't a trap? And why should I trust you?" Kankuro whispered and gripped the redhead's arm tightly, his coal black eyes now boring into the jade ones. His calmness was slowly melting away, yielding to fear and confusion.

"This isn't a trap, this is my room. You can trust me because I'm your brother, I care about you," Gaara answered patiently, hoping that the brunette wouldn't get troublesome again.

The answer calmed Kankuro a little bit. He still scanned the room in order to find any objects he could use if he needed to get rid of the redhead. Finally, he sat down onto the bed, still not totally trusting his companion.

"I'll be back in a second. Wait here," Gaara said.

Kankuro looked at him warily, not replying. It was silent now and he allowed himself to relax a bit. Soon the redhead came back and sat down onto the bed beside him. Quickly the boy started to tend his wounds. The slow and gentle movements of the pale hands didn't feel threatening and so Kankuro dared to calm down a bit more.

"Now rest and try to sleep, I'll keep an eye on you," Gaara said as he stopped tending the cuts.

Kankuro narrowed his eyes, tensing. He was not going to sleep and let his guard down. "No," he simply said. "And don't tell me what to do or I'll get rid of you," he then continued in a poisonous voice, his black eyes quickly filling with coldness and distrust again. The redhead was getting annoying. The brunette glanced over the room in hopes of finding something he could use as a weapon.

"It's for your own good, Kankuro. And no one's gonna get rid of anyone tonight," Gaara spoke, hiding his own fear as well as he could. Kankuro's words scared him more than he liked to admit. He only received an icy stare from the brunette as an answer.

Gaara let out a sigh, then spoke again, "You can sleep, I know you're tired. It's totally safe now, I promise that nothing will happen."

Kankuro looked at the redhead, evaluating the situation. This room didn't resemble the cellar or any other unpleasant place at all so it would probably be safe to relax. He was sure _they_ were still in this house, too but if the redhead kept his word and guarded them, they would be safe. Slowly he laid down and pulled the blanket over. He was really a bit tired. Fighting against _them_ had used up his energy, leaving him weak and drained. After he listened for voices but couldn't hear any, he closed his eyes.

Gaara sat down onto the chair in the corner of the room. The digital clock on the table said 11:43 p.m. It was going to be a long, sleepless night to him. He was simply too afraid to close his eyes. Kankuro seemed to be calm now but anything could trigger another episode. The blood that had dripped from the brunette's wounds had probably stained every place. What a mess! It would be a pain to clean up everything in the morning.

* * *

After two hours of forcing himself to stay awake, his insomnia helping a little, Gaara yawned, admitting his tiredness. He could hear Kankuro's even breathing in the darkness and he knew his brother wasn't dangerous anymore. In the night, the wine red room looked like a creepy cavern and some pieces of furniture even resembled figures. He almost saw lopsided faces from the corner of his eye but when he turned to look at them, they were gone.

Slowly, he stood up from the chair and advanced to the bed. He lay down carefully, all the time inspecting Kankuro's reactions. The brunette was fast asleep and didn't stir when Gaara came under the cover and curled up against him. The redhead wrapped his arm around his sleeping brother and snuggled closer, leaning his head against the brunette's chest. Still, the older of the brother's didn't show any signs of waking up.

The earlier events had been scary but now it was warm and safe. Even though Kankuro wasn't the best possible brother, the redhead didn't have anyone else in the world to care about him the way the brunette did. At those thoughts, Gaara curled up against Kankuro even more, grateful that he wasn't totally alone. Soon the redhead succumbed to his own tiredness and fell asleep, breathing evenly, black eyelids closed.

* * *

In the morning, Kankuro yawned sleepily and opened his eyes. He took in the surroundings, flashes of last night coming to his mind. He had gone to the attic and then, Gaara had come there. After that, everything was blurred. Kankuro's eyes snapped fully open. Where was Gaara? Had he hurt him? He sat upright, worriedly glancing over the room. It was then that he noticed the drowsy redhead clinging onto him, draping his arms towards him at the sudden loss of warmness.

"Gaara?" Kankuro whispered. He lay back down and caressed the redhead's side. He was so happy that he hadn't hurt him. Even greater joy over swept him when he realized how much Gaara cared for him. His cuts had been tended and everything seemed to be alright.

"Mmh..." came a sleepy mutter. Soon the black eyelids opened and it didn't take long for Gaara to fully awake. Under the circumstances, he had slept surprisingly well. He had seen a nightmare at some point of the night, woken up, and after noticing everything was alright, had gone back to his relaxing slumber. As he now looked into the black eyes of his brother, he knew the brunette was back to normal again.

"I'm going to make us breakfast. Wait here," the redhead spoke, quickly getting off from the bed. He was hungry, not having eaten anything since the tea at Naruto's place. He knew Kankuro wanted to talk with him but he couldn't bring himself to answer the awaiting questions with an empty stomach.

"No, I can do that. You've been kind enough to me already. I mean... thanks for everything, Gaara," Kankuro said quietly.

"Don't worry about it. I want you to rest now, so I'll go and prepare the breakfast," the redhead assured, leaving the room. He made them hot chocolate, soya yoghurt, apples and rye bread. After he was done, he carried the meal with a tray to the bed.

"You're spoiling me," Kankuro exclaimed, lighting upon the steaming cup of hot chocolate. Something was amiss, though, and when he noticed it, his spirits sagged. "Hey... where's the coffee?" he asked. Morning just wasn't the same without the black extract.

"Nowhere. You don't need any stimulants now so you have to deal with what I made for you," Gaara replied calmly. He craved for coffee, too, but at the moment it would be unfair to drink it right in front of Kankuro.

They ate in silence, both deep in their thoughts. Gaara wondered how much the brunette remembered from last night, if anything at all. He wanted to ask what had triggered the latest episode but was afraid to, fearing his question would upset his brother.

"Why did you come there?" Kankuro finally asked. He was grateful for Gaara's caring but at the same time, he disapproved the redhead's foolhardiness. Anything could've happened!

"Because you were there," Gaara replied briefly. He didn't feel like talking because the events were all too fresh but he understood that his brother wanted to fill the blanks in his mind.

"You should've run. I was okay in there. It was stupid of you to stay," Kankuro spoke.

"You weren't okay, look at your arms. Haven't I told you to stop it?" Gaara asked. He didn't like the fact that his brother was hurting himself, not to mention in his unstable moments. What if Kankuro accidentally hit some vital point and died? He didn't want to think about that...

Kankuro didn't say anything in reply. Gaara wouldn't understand even if he explained it. "How bad...?" he finally asked. It bugged him that he couldn't remember much of anything. He had a distant memory of hiding and being afraid. He had probably had delusions, too, but now it was hard to tell apart what he had imagined and what he hadn't.

"Not too bad," Gaara told. He didn't want to tell his brother about everything that had happened, like the hammer incident, the brunette had enough to worry about. After a pause, the redhead decided to test the waters and asked, "Have you thought of going to see a psychologist?" It was a tender spot to his brother but it had to be asked again, nevertheless.

"No, case closed," Kankuro told curtly. For a long time he had thought he should seek for help but it wasn't so simple. There were two things that prevented him, and because of those things, he would rather not draw attention to his mental problems.

Firstly, if he were to speak to someone, their secret would surely be revealed. He would then lose his beloved little brother, for eternity. He couldn't take it, he would break if that happened. He was hundred per cent sure that Gaara would break as well if they were separated. Besides, the redhead couldn't manage alone, he was sure of it. He had to be there to protect his little brother because without him, Gaara would surely get into trouble in no time, like yesterday at the café.

Secondly, therapy and psychopharmaceuticals cost money. A lot of money. That money Kankuro did not have. Their share of their father's inheritance was long ago spent and the little savings he had were meant to get them through if he lost his job for some reason.

"But I could get a job, if it's about money," Gaara started.

"No, you have your homework and stuff, I don't want a job interfering your studying," Kankuro told instantly. He wanted Gaara to get into a college at least, perhaps even to a university. The redhead had to study hard instead of spending time working. The brunette knew that he himself would have no problem with attending to any place he desired, for as modest as he tried to be, he was so smart that almost no entrance examination would be too hard for him.

Silence fell over them again, only a clock could be heard ticking in the distance. When there seemed to be nothing more to say, Gaara got up from the bed and put the tray onto the table. He was about to leave when the silence was broken by a few, quiet words.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Kankuro asked, looking down at his hands that layed on his lap.

Avoiding? Gaara thought back the last two weeks. Yes, he hadn't been around his brother so much but that was because he had had other things to do. He had been with Naruto and when he had been home, he hadn't felt like being in anyone's company.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to," was all Gaara could manage. It felt weird to apologize a thing he hadn't known he'd been doing.

Kankuro glanced at the redhead, a sad look on his face. "Is it because of my mental..." he began, trailing off.

"What? No," Gaara said, a bit surprised. He sat back down onto the bed, next to his brother. "I didn't even know I was acting that way," he continued, trying to cheer up the brunette. He didn't want his brother to get upset over a little thing like that. At least he thought it was a little thing.

**XXX**

"You can make it up for me," Kankuro replied, closing his arms around the smaller form of his brother. His hands caressed the redhead's back with slow motions before coming to rest on the hips, squeezing them lightly.

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked, looking up at his brother. His face held an impassive mask but his eyes reflected a hint of cautiousness.

"You could spend more time with me and less with the blond," Kankuro replied, placing a soft kiss on the redhead's lips. His hands slid under Gaara's shirt and up the younger male's back.

"It's better if you rest," Gaara said, trying to break free from the hug. After seeing his brother out of control not too long ago, he was in no mood for this kind of contact. He wasn't scared but he could all too well remember the dangerous situations of last night. Besides, he didn't want them to get into certain activities, not after he had felt so good in the past two weeks.

"But I don't feel like resting," Kankuro replied, yanking the redhead's shirt upwards. His hands trailed up and down the now bare chest, savoring the softness of the pale skin. Before the younger of the brothers could have a chance to reject him, he brushed their lips together again, this time deepening the contact into a passionate kiss. He wanted to taste more, feel more, and in his eagerness he bit the redhead's soft lower lip, drawing blood.

"Ouch! Don't—" Gaara tried but couldn't finish as he was slammed onto the mattress, none too gently. A wild Kankuro was on top of him, the brunette's lips now traveling to his neck, biting slightly, until they continued further down, to the sensitive nipples. "Ah," Gaara gasped as the sharp teeth gently played with his nipples, not hurting but actually exciting him against his own will.

Kankuro's lips neared the redhead's hips, forcefully biting and marking the pale skin on their way down. He could feel his little brother's sharp intakes of breath each time his teeth bruised the skin.

"Ah! Don't bite so hard, it hurts!" Gaara said, trying to get up but failed, thanks to Kankuro pinning down his hips.

The suppressed whimpers and the voiced protests only aroused the brunette even more and for reward, he bit a little harder. Gaara was his and only his, and he got some deep satisfaction of marking the redhead so that the boy would know and - what was more important - remember to whom he belonged to.

"You should stop and rest instead," Gaara said in a wavering voice and sat up, pulling his knees close to his chest, this time successfully blocking his brother away. He didn't feel like giving into Kankuro's desires right now. They shouldn't be doing this. His conscience was constantly scolding him about the sheer wrongness of the situation.

"And you should be quiet and let me do what I know is right at the moment," Kankuro replied, pushing the redhead down again. This didn't need to be right at the moral's point of view, or even the law's point of view, it was enough that he was confident about his actions. He wanted Gaara and that was the only thing that mattered.

He started to strip the redhead's jeans and tight boxers, soon throwing them onto the floor. Satisfied with the sight of his almost naked little brother in front of him, he ran his hands along the redhead's sides, amusedly watching as the said boy tensed up.

"No... It's not a good idea," Gaara spoke, trying to sit up again. He was only pushed back down instantly, not given a chance to escape.

"You're hardly the one to talk about good ideas, given you didn't run away last night. I'm sure you won't run away now, either," Kankuro said, smirking. "Take off your shirt, I'll be right back," he then added, leaving the room.

Reluctantly, Gaara discarded himself of his shirt that was pulled all the way up, baring his chest. Instinctively, he pulled his knees close to his chest. As his brother returned, he hugged his knees a bit tighter. The brunette could sometimes be too hard on him and due to the red marks that now covered his pale skin, he was anxious about what was to come next.

"Now Gaara," Kankuro started as he gripped the redhead's hand and poured some lube into the fingers, "Prepare yourself. I'm gonna watch." He took off all of his clothes, not looking away from the redhead who was getting comfortable on the bed. He could tell Gaara was reluctant but the redhead had been through this before, so the boy knew what to do and how to act.

"I don't feel like doing any of this," Gaara said, hoping he could change the direction where things were going. Before, he hadn't dared to object so much because he had been all alone, without anyone other than the brunette around. It had been easier then to fall victim when there had been absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel. Now there was a feeble light, even though Gaara didn't like to admit that Naruto had influenced him so much.

"Don't feel like it?" Kankuro repeated, his black eyes growing even darker. "If you want it rough and dry, it's your choice," he then continued in a low but cold voice which told the redhead that he wasn't joking.

"I said no. I don't want it either way," Gaara said stubbornly. There had to be a way out of this. "Why couldn't we do normal things, like watch TV?" he then continued, surprised how he had dared to say that in a moment like this.

"So you want to do it on the couch?" Kankuro asked, totally ignoring his little brother's protests.

"No!" Gaara said, annoyed. He was getting irritated when his brother acted like this, purposely understanding things in a wrong way.

"No?" Kankuro whispered, his black eyes oddly empty. Soon the blankness disappeared, being replaced by a fiery anger which quickly cooled into an icy stare. "I'm gonna say this only once, Gaara. If you don't want to prepare yourself, I'm gonna take you dry and it's going to hurt. A lot," he said in a cold voice.

Unpleasant shivers ran down Gaara's spine. Would his brother really make good on his threat? The redhead couldn't help but gulp as he looked at his brother's serious face. It seemed he had no choice but to obey. Lying on his back, he guided his fingers to the rim of muscles while his other hand wrapped around his semi-erected member. At first he pushed one finger inside, trying to relax while he slowly stroked his growing erection. He closed his eyes, knowing that his brother's gaze followed his every move, and it unnerved him. He had to remember to be vocal, Kankuro liked that. Soon he pushed another finger inside, stretching and making scissoring motion, his strokes growing faster. "Aah," he moaned as it started to feel good, really good.

The black, lust filled eyes took in every detail of the sight. Kankuro had spread lube to his own erection, now stroking himself, too. The burning need in the pit of his stomach ten-folded as Gaara arched his back, letting out a needy gasp. He had to close his eyes for a while so that he wouldn't go over the edge yet. The sight of Gaara pleasuring himself, now three fingers fully inside, his throbbing length already leaking, was too much for Kankuro to look at. As the redhead moaned throatily, the brunette couldn't help but look again.

Quickly, Kankuro shoved Gaara's fingers away, making way to his own, painfully erect member. He was tired of waiting, his lust and desire totally overpowering him, and so he thrust inside, now moaning himself too, as he felt the pleasure he had moments ago only been dreaming of. He gripped the redhead's hips, pinning him down with his own body, as he pushed forcefully in and out. He hoped he wouldn't reach his peak too soon because Gaara needed to come first.

They panted in unison and Kankuro absolutely loved how vocal his little brother had learned to become. He grabbed the redhead's dripping member and stroked it gently but firmly, all the while slamming his hardened length against the nerve spot, making Gaara see stars.

"Haa... Ah!"

With wavering moans, Gaara got over the edge, pinned under his brother's weight. The redhead's panting aroused Kankuro even more and he was relieved that he didn't have to hold back anymore. With a few violent thrusts, he filled the redhead with his cum, moaning and marking Gaara as his own again. Pulling out, Kankuro looked at the redhead beneath him, smirking. He was more than satisfied at seeing the red marks all over the pale body, his cum dripping down from the redhead's orifice to the sheets, staining them. Now there was no doubt anymore about to whom Gaara belonged to.

**XXX **

The brothers were lying next to each other, letting their breathing become even. Gaara had turned his back to Kankuro, keeping his face impassive even though under the surface, he didn't feel impassive at all. At the same time as he felt great satisfaction, he felt extreme regret, too. This was wrong, really wrong. He couldn't deny it, though he sometimes tried to smother his moralistic thoughts, claiming that this was a form of love. Usually it was easier to deal with the things he was forced to do when he masked the happenings as tokens of caring.

After he had spent more time with Naruto and less time with his brother, thus avoiding these kinds of incidents, he had, without him realizing, got accustomed to an illusion that his life was actually normal, or as normal as it could get. Now when he was laying on the sheets naked, bruised and filled with his brother's cum, he knew it had only been a childish delusion to even think for a moment that Kankuro would leave him be. The agony raised its head inside him, waves of disappointment and even anger washing over him. He didn't want a lover. What he needed was an older brother.

Kankuro caressed the redhead's side, admiring everything in his little brother. To him, Gaara was a piece of heaven, something beautiful and pure he wanted to own and drown into. At moments like this, it felt like everything was alright and there were no worries in the world. He knew his doings were wrong but did it matter? After all, wrongness or laws had never stopped their uncle for hurting him, it had been alright then, even though it really wasn't.

This wasn't the same as that. No, he loved Gaara and cared for him. He made the redhead feel good and wanted. Besides, he wasn't disgusting like their uncle, he was Gaara's brother and that made it more acceptable, more normal.

* * *

The warm water was washing away every stain, every drop of sweat but didn't wash away the ugly, red marks. Fortunately they weren't on visible parts, he could cover them with his clothes. Gaara soaped himself from head to toe, wanting to get rid of his brother's scent. Why did it have to always end like this? Was there really nothing he could do? Or had it been going on for too long already?

He loved his brother more than anything but did he really have to put up with this? Then again, Kankuro was stronger than him, it had always been easier to succumb in fear of getting hurt more. Those moments with Naruto had been nice, _normal_. Why couldn't it always be like that with his brother, too?

Before Naruto, there had only been Kankuro and the fear of the brunette's random episodes but now, the blond was like a lighthouse in the night, guiding him out of the darkness. He didn't like to admit it but Naruto brought him hope. Hope. He disliked that vacillating, deceiving feeling. It was dangerous to get lulled into false beliefs that someday, things would be better. Gaara let out a bitter laugh. When their uncle and then father had died, he had naively believed everything would turn into better. How wrong he had been, in a way.

Breaking out from his thoughts, he noticed he'd been standing under the shower for a lot longer time than really needed. He turned off the shower but still felt unclean, like he hadn't washed himself at all. He didn't want to be subdued by his brother for the rest of his life but there was really nothing he could do, now was there? Of course Naruto was there to distract him but the blond should be just that - a distraction, nothing more.

Gaara exited the bathroom and slid into the cellar. Kankuro wanted to watch a movie with him in the evening but before that, the redhead wanted to have as much time on his own as possible. He had briefly thought about visiting Naruto again but after what had happened this morning, he really wasn't in the mood for the blond's cheerfulness. Maybe some other day. Now he only wanted to paint and purify himself in the process, or at least that little part of him that could still feel relieved after he had transferred his emotions onto the canvas.

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**A/N:** _Thanks for all the reviews, I appreciate them!_

_I hope it's easy to understand who "they" are, those who Kankuro is referring to under his episode. Sometimes they are the voices in his head, sometimes they are people (hallucinations) Kankuro is seeing or imagining to be somewhere near. As you can guess now, in the first chapter where Kankuro is having one of his episodes, he thinks Gaara is one of "them". I hope this makes sense. At least it does to me._

_Some people who are related to me, have had acoustic, tactile or optic hallucinations, and what I've learned from their experiences, it's often hard to tell apart what is real and what isn't. Especially the optic hallucinations are tricky because they feel so real. I've been told that the voices one is hearing can vary a lot - they can be speaking or just be sounds, like phone ringing, and some of the voices make sense while the others don't._


	8. Stay away from him

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, sexual harassment, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

* * *

**A/N:** _Sorry it took me so long to update! But this chapter is really long, if that makes it up._

_This chapter wasn't the easiest one to write, I'll say that. I hope all the feelings and situations are logical and not (too) awkward, I tried my best. The truth is, I've had a huge amount of stress lately, causing me to finally collapse at work and so on, so if there are any illogical parts, I apologize. It's harder to think with the stress in the back of my mind._

_However, I hope you enjoy this chapter. And thanks for all who have reviewed and/or read!_

* * *

**Chapter 8: Stay away from him**

Naruto was jogging, almost running as he tried to straighten out his feelings. He had sprinted a few miles already but so far, the physical activity had not gotten his hormones any calmer. He wanted Gaara, he wanted him so bad that it almost drove him crazy at times. He had not been with anyone since Sasuke and knowing how pleasurable certain acts could feel, his mind and body craved them even more.

Lately, he had been having dreams about Gaara, very disturbing kind at that. Those dreams always resulted him having to chance his pants in the morning and take a cold shower. Last night he had had an interesting dream again, featuring his red haired friend of course. In the dream, Naruto had touched Gaara's face again but after that things had gone pretty differently than in reality.

On top of it all, he had now fought with Kiba on a daily basis. It wasn't anything too serious, only arguing but still, it did nothing good to their friendship which was already falling apart. He didn't understand why Kiba couldn't accept the fact that he had now chosen to hang around with Gaara, a lot. Naruto had even once suggested that all three of them could hang around together at school but no, Kiba had of course refused and gone to Sasuke's company instead, only to annoy Naruto even more.

Naruto ran a bit faster. Why couldn't things be easy? He really didn't need any more problems than he already had. He could already see his house, still running deep in thought as he almost bumped into someone. Looking at the person in front of him, he instantly smiled as he recognized the male.

"Hi Kankuro! How have you been?" Naruto asked politely, panting for air after the long run.

Kankuro smiled amusedly at the sweating blond. The boy had looked quite funny, running headlong on the street. "I'm fine, just coming from work," he finally answered.

"Oh, I see. Would you like to come in for tea?" Naruto asked, smiling friendly. He thought it would be rude not to ask since they were in front of his house anyway. Besides, he'd gladly pay back the friendliness Kankuro had shown him when he had been at Gaara's place that one Saturday.

Raising an eyebrow, Kankuro pondered the proposition for a moment. Why would he want to go to Naruto's home? Then again, homes always revealed certain things about people. He could find some important information...

"Sure, why not," the brunette said cheerfully and smiled at the blond.

* * *

In the kitchen, Naruto put the kettle onto the stove.

"So Naruto, do you go to work?" Kankuro asked casually.

"No, I get financial support from the state because I'm an orphan and still underage. But it's not much, I barely get along," Naruto told the brunette.

"I understand, those supports are really minimal. But if you ever feel you need more money, come to the café. I bet you'd be suitable for that job, given how social you are and all. I'm sure they'd let you work in the evenings, after school," Kankuro offered. He knew that the state's supports were small, nothing to celebrate with. He and Gaara had gotten financial support, too, before he was able to go to work. Sometimes he was upset how much taxes he had to pay but when he thought that part of that money was used to support the disadvantaged, he gladly paid them.

"Thanks. I'll consider that," Naruto said cheerfully and graced Kankuro with one of his genuine smiles.

Kankuro only smiled slightly for an answer. The blond was actually quite nice like this when the boy wasn't talking too much at once. He could even understand a little why Gaara had let the blond befriend him. The redhead had been a bit happier in the past few days. For example when normally Gaara would've chosen not to answer something Kankuro had said, the redhead had now replied with a few words. Or sometimes when the brunette joked about something, Gaara had smiled faintly when he usually didn't even seem to hear him. That kind of behavior would've gone unnoticed by any other person but Kankuro knew his little brother well.

"Gaara has been a bit happier lately. Thanks for that," Kankuro said suddenly. He knew that the redhead's change of mood was to the blond's credit.

"W-What? Why are you thanking me?" Naruto asked, confused.

The blond received a smile from Kankuro. Obviously the brunette was amused at Naruto's bafflement. "I know my brother better than anyone. I can see you cheer him up," Kankuro told kindly. He was glad that the blond could make his quiet little brother a bit happier, when he himself always couldn't.

"Eh, really? That's nice to hear," Naruto spoke hurriedly. Did he really have that kind of effect on Gaara? He was so happy at the news! Maybe he had finally succeeded in opening up the introverted redhead?

The water was now boiling and Naruto poured it into the tea pot, brewing some rooibos tea for them. "It will take about ten minutes until the tea is ready. I thought I'd take a quick shower before that, make yourself at home," Naruto told his guest. He really wanted to change his sweaty clothes which unpleasantly clung to his body.

"Go ahead," Kankuro replied, watching as the blond disappeared into the bathroom. As he heard the shower being turned on he stood up and quietly started to inspect the house. The kitchen cupboard revealed a huge stack of instant ramen. Did the boy eat anything else? There was nothing else in the cupboard, so the answer was probably yes.

Kankuro made his way to the hallway and living room but they held nothing interesting in them. Strolling to the bedroom, the brunette rummaged through Naruto's drawer but found nothing else than the boy's clothes. Was the blond really as dull as his home seemed to be? The brunette sighed, disappointed that he hadn't found anything useful yet. In the distance, he could hear Naruto singing off-key in the shower.

The brunette sat down onto the unmade bed and it was then that he noticed the nightstand. He pulled the chest open in hopes of finding something interesting. He found only some magazines which confirmed his doubts about Naruto's sexual orientation. He then frowned, realizing that the blond might be interested in Gaara. He didn't like that idea - it was okay for Gaara to have a friend but it was a totally different thing if he had an admirer. Kankuro didn't accept competition. Gaara was his and only his.

But he couldn't be sure if Naruto had any kind of feelings for Gaara. He had to find out. Smirking, Kankuro got off from the bed as he heard the shower being turned off.

Naruto had just gotten out of the shower and was drying himself. It was then that he noticed he hadn't brought any clean clothes in which to change. He was used to walking around naked when he was alone but he couldn't do that now when Kankuro was here. After hesitation, Naruto pulled on his sweaty boxers and decided he could go that way. The brunette was in the kitchen and couldn't see if he sneaked into his room like that.

When he opened the bathroom door, he was greeted by a friendly smile from Kankuro. The brunette leaned against the wall beside the door, grinning.

"Eh... I forgot to bring clean clothes," Naruto said and stepped out of the bathroom, embarrassed. For some reason he felt the need to explain why he only had his boxers on. But what unnerved him more was the fact that Kankuro had been waiting for him on the other side of the door. Had he been there all the time?

Smile never faltering, Kankuro placed his hands on either side of Naruto, capturing the blond between himself and the bathroom door. "Tell me Naruto, what do you think about Gaara?" the brunette asked, as if he was talking about a casual thing like the weather. He knew that to worm out the truth, he had to do this kind of a surprise attack.

Naruto was taken aback by the question. What kind of question was that anyway? A faint blush crept to his cheeks as he involuntarily went through what he had thought and _dreamed_ about Gaara lately. "Eh, he's nice," Naruto finally replied, forcing a polite smile to his face.

The blush was an answer enough for Kankuro, whose friendly smile melted into an evil smirk. So, he had a rival now? Suddenly, he didn't like Naruto so much anymore. Now would be as good time as ever to give a subtle warning which wouldn't reveal his true motives.

Leaning closer to the blond, Kankuro spoke in a low voice, "He won't return those feelings. He's too hard to break through, trust me." It was true because it had been difficult even for him to crack the redhead's shell open.

"Eh, what feelings?" Naruto said weakly, trying to cover the fact that the brunette had hit the nail on the head. _Am I really that easy to read?_ Naruto thought, panicking. What if Gaara had noticed what was going on in his mind, too?

"Don't try to lie, you don't succeed in it at all. You're like an open book, Naruto," Kankuro purred, the blond's name gently rolling out of his lips like a caress. He put his hand on the tanned shoulder, drying a single water drop with his thumb.

Naruto shivered involuntarily. For once, he didn't instantly know what to do or say. Just when he was about to open his mouth, Kankuro's voice interrupted him. "Why do you want him anyway when you could get a real man instead?" the brunette whispered to the blond's ear, sending shivers down the younger male's spine.

Was Gaara's brother just hitting on him? Naruto was shocked, his mind full of confusion. A single water drop dripped from his wet hair down to his chest as he stared dumbfounded into the bottomless, black eyes. "W-What? I think I didn't get you right because—"

"You got me perfectly right," Kankuro whispered. Gently, he dried the water drop from the blond's chest with his thumb again, purposely brushing his fingers over a tanned nipple. That earned a surprised gasp from the blond.

Kankuro didn't really want anything to do with the blond, no matter how good looking the boy was but if he wanted to get rid of him, he needed to do this. The brunette was sure that Naruto was that kind of honest guy who wouldn't dare to hit on Gaara if he had earlier had something going on with the redhead's brother. That kind of action would surely be against the blond's ethics.

"K-Kankuro, I'm sorry but I don't think I feel the same way for you," Naruto began, gently trying to turn the brunette down. The older male's actions turned him on a little but he couldn't help it, thanks to his romance-deprived state.

As if not hearing the objection at all, Kankuro pushed his hips against Naruto's, pinning the blond to the door. He made sure that the blond felt his growing erection as he gently kissed the tender spot on the tanned neck. He was pleased when he felt a bulge on the blond's boxers and at then, he pushed against the boy a bit harder. "I know you want it. Imagine what I could make you feel," Kankuro purred, his hot breath hitting Naruto's neck.

It was getting harder for Naruto to resist the growing feeling in the pit of his stomach. His morality was fighting against his primal needs. Even though in any other situation he might've accepted the proposal, now he couldn't - he wanted Gaara and only him, not the redhead's brother or anyone else. If he now messed with Kankuro, he could never stand a chance with Gaara again. "No... I can't. I really don't want this," Naruto said, his voice revealing a hint of suppressed desire.

"It's hard to believe that when your body tells me otherwise," Kankuro murmured while he started to caress the blond's sides and chest. This time he tentatively nibbled the blond's neck, searching for stimulative spots. The blond let out a cry and tried to get away from him, in vain. Amused, the brunette bit and then sucked the tender spot harder and rubbed their erections together, slightly moaning at the friction.

A whimper escaped Naruto's lips at the involuntarily pleasure. He grabbed Kankuro's shoulders, trying to push the older male away. "N-No. Stop it. I... I don't want it," he said in a voice full of hidden need.

It was like Kankuro never even heard the words, for his hands traveled downwards, caressing the blond's well shaped abdomen muscles. Naruto was about to repeat his earlier words a bit louder this time, when the doorbell rang.

Kankuro was irritated that they had been interrupted but retreated nevertheless, knowing he should better leave now when their peace was interrupted. Smirking, he eyed the blushing blond before saying, "See you later." He then walked to the door and opened it.

Gaara couldn't quite believe who he was seeing. He had just come from school to see Naruto whose school day had been a bit shorter than his own. Had he come to the wrong address, was this Naruto's place at all but his own home instead? It certainly seemed so, given that Kankuro was staring down at him, a smirk on his face.

"Hi Gaara," the older of the brothers said a bit too happily.

The jade eyes narrowed a fraction. "What are you doing here?" the redhead asked none too kindly. It was then that he looked past Kankuro and noticed an almost naked and blushing Naruto leaning on the bathroom door, looking confused and embarrassed. Taking in the view, the jade green eyes widened in shock.

The smirk on the brunette's face widened. "Oh, nothing. Your friend just invited me over, that's all. But I better get going, seeing that it's your turn now," Kankuro said casually, strolling past his little brother and leaving.

Kankuro had seen the jade eyes narrow even further at his last comment. It amused him but also worried. What if Gaara had feelings for Naruto, too? He couldn't allow that. He would make sure that the redhead had feelings for no one else but him.

Gaara looked at his brother's retreating back, not liking what the brunette had implied about 'his turn', before turning his gaze to Naruto. The blond was still standing on the spot, as if unable to move. "What just happened here?" Gaara asked angrily. He wasn't angry at Naruto but at his brother. What had the brunette done this time? He had a bad feeling about this, he didn't like the idea of Kankuro visiting Naruto at all.

Naruto misinterpreted the redhead's tense tone and thought his friend was angry at him. He was afraid of Gaara thinking wrongly that there was something going on between him and Kankuro. "N-Nothing happened," he said before realizing how clichéd it sounded.

Closing the door, Gaara walked to the blond. His jade eyes were icy but the wrath in them was reserved only for his brother. He examined the blond, taking in the faint blush and the well shaped body. Naruto's hair was still wet, water drops dripping from the blond locks and wetting the tanned skin. The strange feeling he had sometimes before experienced around Naruto came back to him but this time, it was a bit stronger.

Now, his jade eyes were softer and his earlier anger had dissolved into worry. He wanted to _protect_ Naruto. He hadn't felt this way before but now when he had found his friend half naked and uncharacteristically quiet after his brother's departure, he couldn't help but fear for the worst. If Kankuro had somehow hurt the blond, he would never forgive him. Naruto was the only cheerful thing in his life, his own personal sun that he wanted to shine down only on him. Naruto was his distraction, his way of escapism. He wouldn't let Kankuro or anyone else take the blond away from him.

It was then that his eyes locked into the mark on the blond's neck. His worry increased instantly. "Nothing? What's that mark on your neck, then?" he asked, not noticing how the anger was still in his voice.

The tone of voice made Naruto almost yelp. He was sure that Gaara was angry at him for messing with Kankuro. What if Gaara didn't believe him and would accuse him of hitting on Kankuro? The brunette had made it sound like that when he had left. Naruto wanted to tell everything but when he tried to find the words, they didn't come. It was simply too embarrassing to voice out what had happened, especially when he had involuntary enjoyed Kankuro's touch.

"Naruto, tell me. I want to know," Gaara repeated in a bit softer voice this time. He took a hold of Naruto's hand in order to encourage him to speak. He wanted to ask a ton of questions but he couldn't - it would be suspicious if he asked certain things. He had to act like he and Kankuro were normal brothers.

"It was nothing, really. I was jogging when I saw him and asked him over. Then I went to take a quick shower before the tea was ready and that's when you came in," Naruto told, forcing a weak smile to his face to convince the redhead.

Gaara didn't buy it. If it had been like the blond had told, there would be no need for Naruto's quietness and embarrassment. When he had first seen Naruto, the boy had been clearly aroused. He hadn't been checking out the blond or anything but after the way Kankuro had acted, it had been like a reflex to check certain things. Somehow it made him angry that his brother had caused that kind of reaction in Naruto. He didn't blame the blond because he knew all too well how 'persuasive' Kankuro could be.

"And what else happened?" the redhead asked patiently.

The blond fell quiet again, not meeting the jade eyes like before. He was about to go into his room and dress properly but couldn't, when Gaara didn't let go of his hand.

The redhead didn't want Naruto to run away. He wanted to settle things and it was important that he heard the blond's version of happenings. He was going to question his brother, too but there was a danger that Kankuro could either lie or then tell him nothing at all. Gaara felt like he had already used all his verbal skills to coax the blond to speak. He wasn't good at dealing with people and he was already getting frustrated. Searching for ways to handle the situation, he tried to remember how Naruto had reached out to him. With one step he closed the distance between them and pulled his friend into an embrace.

"Come on, you have to tell me. It's not you I'm angry at," Gaara spoke. Naruto's wet hair was dampening his own red locks and through the layers of his clothes he could feel the warmness emitting from the blond. Naruto smelled fresh and his skin was soft and smooth. It was oddly appealing and when they were like this, the strange feeling he had, increased.

The words encouraged Naruto to open up. He was relieved that Gaara wouldn't blame him or anything. He pulled out of the hug and smiled weakly. "I have to put on some clothes first but I will tell you," he said.

Nodding, Gaara took off his shoes and coat. He then followed Naruto to the bedroom and found the blond now fully clothed, lying on the bed. The boy had his hands tugged under his head, looking pensively into the distance while biting his bottom lip. Gaara frowned and got worried again. It wasn't normal for Naruto to be so calm and quiet. He lay down onto the bed and when Naruto only glanced at him but didn't speak, Gaara wrapped an arm around him in order to encourage him to open up. He hadn't really comforted anyone in this way before and that's why he was a bit unsure how he should act.

Gaara had never thought he was capable of feeling the need to protect someone. Until now, there had been no one weaker than himself around, whom he would've had to protect. Now though, there was Naruto, looking so fragile and innocent, and he couldn't help but feel the urge to keep him close, away from anything that might hurt him in a way or another.

"I think your brother likes me," Naruto started and took a hold of the strings in Gaara's fitting hooded jacket, fiddling them nervously. It felt so embarrassing to say it aloud. Who could've believed it would be this hard to tell a simple series of events?

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked. He tried to keep in mind that he had to act like he didn't know or suspect certain things.

With a quick glance to the jade eyes, Naruto continued, "He… I think he tried to hit on me."

A silence fell over them and during that, Gaara's jade eyes grew darker. He was getting more and more angry at Kankuro and felt disgusted at the thought that the brunette could've soiled Naruto's purity. "Really? What did he do," Gaara finally asked in a bit colder voice this time. His hold on Naruto tightened without him noticing it.

"Um... When I came out of the shower he pinned me against the bathroom door and asked if I would have him ins—" Naruto began but stopped abruptly. He couldn't say what he was about to say: if he would have Kankuro instead of Gaara. That would reveal his feelings for the redhead! "I mean... he asked me if I was interested in him," he then continued hurriedly.

"Go on," Gaara encouraged, instinctively tracing small circles on the blond's back with his fingers in order to soothe his friend. He was absolutely sure that Kankuro didn't have any kind of romantic feelings for Naruto and that's why he couldn't help but wonder what his brother was up to.

The gesture relaxed Naruto and he felt confident to continue, "I told him I wasn't interested but he didn't care. He tried to coax me into... things and even though I told him to stop, he didn't. And then you came, fortunately."

Gaara gritted his teeth at the thought. He pulled Naruto a bit closer as if assuring himself that no one was going to take the blond away from him. He was more than glad that he had arrived at the right moment because he had first-hand experience of Kankuro ignoring all the objections. Even though he himself could handle his brother, Naruto couldn't. The blond was clearly too soft and kind and would only get hurt if Kankuro had his way with him.

"I... I don't fancy your brother," Naruto added, embarrassed at pointing out the obvious. He just wanted to make sure that Gaara wouldn't have any misbelieves.

"I got that from your story," Gaara said. He hadn't believed a second that Naruto of all people would be drawn to Kankuro. To him, that was an utterly ridiculous idea. It was so stupid that he didn't even want to think about it. He was relieved to hear the confirming words spoken, though, for he honestly wasn't sure what he would've felt if the blond had really had some feelings for Kankuro.

"You're safe now, I won't let it happen again. You should stay away from him, just to be sure," Gaara assured the blond, pulling his friend so close that Naruto's face was now resting against his chest. He was quite sure that what had happened between his brother and Naruto, had just been one of Kankuro's tricks to mess up his life. But he couldn't understand how harassing his friend would help Kankuro to achieve anything.

"Thanks," Naruto said. He was very happy at hearing Gaara's protective words and even happier at being held so close. He had to keep his feelings under control, though, so that he wouldn't get too excited. It felt wonderful that Gaara was so protective of him, he would've never even dared to dream about something like this! He wished the redhead would someday return his feelings but Kankuro's mean words about Gaara's unbreakable shell echoed in his mind. He didn't want to believe what the brunette had said.

Gaara inhaled the pleasant scent that lingered in Naruto's hair and skin. It reminded him of pureness and carefreeness. He hadn't realized how much Naruto meant to him until now when the blond had been in danger. It made him very annoyed to think what Kankuro had done to Naruto in order to earn certain reactions from the blond—like the faint blush and the other signs that clearly showed Naruto's arousal. He didn't want Naruto to respond to Kankuro, he didn't want the blond to enjoy his brother's touches or actions. The thought made him even let out an annoyed growl.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked, moving his head upwards to look at his friend. When he met the jade green eyes, he sort of wished he had stayed in his earlier position. Their faces were so close to each other that their noses almost brushed and Naruto quickly realized that those might not be the only parts that could accidentally touch each other. He suddenly felt warmness creeping up all over his body and if Gaara hadn't held him so tightly, he would've retreated a couple of inches.

"Yes, just thinking, that's all," Gaara answered, his warm breath hitting against Naruto's heated skin, unaware of the feelings that he succeeded to cause in his friend.

Before the involuntary blush could get any more visible, Naruto leaned his head on the redhead's chest again, hiding his face from the lovely green eyes. It was getting a bit uncomfortable to be held like this because the suppressed titillating thoughts were rapidly taking over his mind. It didn't help at all that just then, the pale hand started to caress his side, stopping to rest on his waist. It was probably just a gesture meant to soothe him but in reality, it had the opposite effect. Gaara's hand was so close to his groin, blissfully close, dangerously close. Naruto had to bite his lower lip not to let out any noises. After the disturbing dreams about Gaara, the arousing yet unwanted touches from Kankuro, and now after being this close to the redhead, Naruto felt the urge to groan. This was pure torture! Pure, sweet torture.

"How are you feeling now?" Gaara asked, breaking the silence. He hadn't missed the red hue on his friend's cheeks and the overall tenseness, either. He felt sorry for Naruto, the poor boy was surely still embarrassed and shocked about what had happened.

"I'm better," Naruto managed to say, grateful that the conversation distracted him a bit from the haunting mental images that his improper mind produced.

"Good. I have to go now but I'll be back soon. That is... if it's okay that I'll stay overnight here today," Gaara spoke. He hoped he could spend the night with Naruto, making sure everything was alright.

At first, Naruto couldn't believe what he was hearing. Gaara wanted to stay the night in here? Was this really happening or was he only dreaming, again? "Of course it's okay, anytime! How... how long will it take you to come back?" Naruto asked, hoping he would have enough time to get rid of his 'problem' before his friend got back.

"I don't know. Maybe ten minutes, or thirty," Gaara said, unsure how long it would take to worm out answers from his brother.

The blond only nodded as an answer and Gaara could see that his answer hadn't totally pleased the boy. He was sure that Naruto didn't want to be left alone so soon after what had happened but he had to visit home in order to get some clean clothes and other stuff. "Don't worry, I'll make it quick," Gaara promised, knowing himself how bad it felt to be left alone after being forced to intimate acts.

Naruto only smiled forcedly, rubbing the back of his head.

* * *

At home, Gaara found Kankuro sitting at the kitchen table. His anger rose instantly at the sight. He automatically clenched his fists as he went through the scene he had faced at Naruto's doorway in his mind. "What the hell were you doing in there!" Gaara spat in a venomous voice.

Kankuro didn't even glance at him but ignored him totally. He was reading the newspaper and casually turned the page, as if he was still alone. That aggravated Gaara even more and with an impulse, he ripped the newspaper off from Kankuro's grip and threw it onto the floor.

The pair of black eyes locked with the jade ones. At first Kankuro was totally serious but slowly, a spiteful smile crept on his face. "Why do you care?" the brunette asked. He was amused at Gaara's reaction but was worried at the same time—what if his little brother really harboured some feelings for the blond?

"Don't you dare to do the same thing for him what you did to me, you stay away from him! If I ever find out you've hurt him, I won't forgive you!" Gaara said, his voice rising dangerously. The jade eyes of his reflected nothing but icy fury.

"So it's about that... I see," Kankuro replied calmly as he stood up and advanced on the redhead.

Raising a non-existent eyebrow, Gaara stared at his brother. "Of course it is. What else would it be about?" he snapped, not understanding the brunette's reasoning.

"I thought you were jealous," Kankuro said, staring down at the redhead. The answer that Gaara would next give, would define his feelings for the blond, if there were any.

"Don't be stupid! Like I would be jealous of _you_!" Gaara said, his voice rising again.

Kankuro chuckled at the outburst. Gaara could be so clueless at times. It was obvious that the redhead hadn't any romantic feelings for the blond because he hadn't been jealous of him. Relaxing, Kankuro backed off and picked the newspaper from the floor.

"Just stay away from him. I don't want you to soil him," Gaara hissed, still angry. He didn't want Kankuro to corrupt the only pure thing in his life.

"It's not my fault that you've got such a foxy friend. He's so easy. If you hadn't interrupted us, who knows what would've happened," Kankuro said casually, his gaze back on the newspaper.

"He wouldn't have let you go any further! And he's not interested in you, so leave him alone," Gaara snapped. He felt the urge to throttle his idiotic brother because he wanted him to stop talking badly of his friend. When Kankuro was troublesome because of his mental problems, Gaara could be patient to no end but he couldn't stand it when the brunette was being difficult on purpose.

"I know he's not interested," Kankuro said, turning the page.

Gaara stepped to stand near Kankuro, putting his hands on the newspaper so that his brother's attention couldn't be caught by it anymore. "Kankuro..." Gaara started, his jade eyes narrowing threateningly. He was trying very hard to keep his irritation under control. "Why were you there? It's not like you to force yourself on people you don't know well, not to mention at their homes! Why?" he then continued, irritation seething in his voice.

"Do I need a reason?" Kankuro asked. He didn't like the direction where the conversation was going.

Gaara barked a laugh at the words. "Like you'd do anything without a reason. I don't understand what you'd gain by hitting on Naruto. So what were your motives?" Gaara hissed, his grip on the newspaper tightening, his nails ripping some of the paper into shreds.

"What if I say I just wanted variety?" Kankuro lied.

"I don't believe you," Gaara said instantly. As crazy as it sounded, in the back of his mind it hurt to think that Kankuro would be bored of him.

"You know what I think?" Gaara started again, his thoughts and reasoning racing a hundred miles per second. "I think you wanted to scare him away. You wanted me to lose the only friend I've got so that I'd crawl back to you like always!" he went on. "Why is Naruto a threat to you, huh? Can't I have even one friend without you messing it up?" he continued, inching closer to the brunette.

Gaara was dangerously close to finding out Kankuro's real motives. The brunette didn't want him to get wind of the blond's true feelings and so he decided it was time to distract Gaara before his reasoning could get any further. "Are you sure it's wise to hang around with him? What if it turns out he's only using you?" Kankuro answered with questions of his own, carefully avoiding the ones Gaara had asked.

"Using? Like you're the one to talk about that!" Gaara shouted.

Anger was starting to boil in Kankuro's veins. He was getting enough of questions and Gaara's shouting. He stood up and gripped the redhead's arms tightly. "I'm not using you! How dare you even say that? I care about you and I take care of you. I even love you when no one else in this world does and you blame me for using you?" Kankuro spoke in an irritated voice, pushing Gaara to the corner.

"You're wrong!" Gaara said but his voice lacked the defiant edge it had still had moments ago. He hated it when Kankuro made it sound like he was the bad and ungrateful person. He hated it even more when the brunette succeeded in it—he was starting to feel guilty already. After all, Kankuro had gone to work to provide for them, helped and encouraged him with school and for the most of the time, the brunette was really nice.

"No, _you_ are wrong. I tested your friend and I think he's not trustworthy. I'm just worried about who you spend your time with, is that wrong?" Kankuro spoke sternly, staring at the redhead.

Gaara gulped. How had Kankuro succeeded in turning the discussion upside down? "No, sorry if I upset you. I just want you to keep your hands off of Naruto," Gaara spoke weakly, hating how his brother's anger seemed to eat away his own annoyance so easily.

"You bet you're sorry. After everything I've done for you, you just complain and accuse me of horrible things!" Kankuro went on, fully knowing the effect of his words.

"I didn't mean to! But you just can't harass my friend like that! And you have to understand I was worried and angry—" Gaara started but was cut off.

"No, I don't understand. I promised you to protect you, didn't I? You seem to take me for granted, don't you? Someday I might not be there to help you so be grateful while I'm still around," Kankuro said heatedly, keenly inspecting the emotions displayed on Gaara's face. He was near his goal already.

"I don't take you for granted! Look, I'm sorry if I upset you. Just... stay away from Naruto, okay?" Gaara replied. His earlier anger had vanished and was now replaced by regret.

Kankuro studied the redhead for a moment until he was sure his words had had the effect he wanted. He then changed his ground and soothed the pale cheek, looking softly into the jade pools. "Alright, I promise. But I think you shouldn't be around him so much, either," he whispered affectionately, knowing that he had to be in good terms with his little brother, no matter what.

The answer didn't fully please Gaara. He unsurely glanced at the coal black eyes. "But I like being around him... I know I can trust him," Gaara said.

"Just remember that you can trust me more than anyone. I'll never betray you or plot against you," Kankuro spoke gently, soothing the younger male.

"I know," Gaara whispered, leaning his head against the brunette's chest and letting the older male hug him. He still couldn't understand, though, what Kankuro would gain with his actions, and it bugged him to no end.

* * *

Gaara packed some clean clothes to his bag and checked that he had everything with him he'd need tomorrow at school. He left the cellar and was soon on the hallway, putting on his shoes and coat.

"Are you going to Naruto's again?" Kankuro asked, not pleased that the redhead seemed to be so drawn to the blond even after the happenings of today.

"Yes, I'll stay overnight there. See you tomorrow," Gaara said before he exited the house, leaving a sour brunette behind.

Naruto was bouncing here and there, unable to concentrate on anything. He had thought of taking care of his little problem but was afraid he would be interrupted. That would be even more embarrassing than anything that had already happened today. A cold shower would've been a good option, too but what if Gaara had decided to come just when he was in there? Wouldn't it have been a bit suspicious if he had been found taking a shower, again? Naruto gripped his hair, unable to decide what to do. He had already wasted good twenty minutes in panicking! When the doorbell rang, he almost jumped.

Gaara didn't say a word but walked past Naruto as the blond opened the door. He wasn't so angry anymore but actually more pensive after the talk with his brother. It hadn't surprised him that Kankuro had made it sound like it was Naruto's fault that the brunette had harassed him. A brief moment he had even thought he should break away from Naruto in order to protect the blond from his unpredictable brother but after a second, he had written off that plan. He felt the need to keep his friend out of harm's way but at the same time, he couldn't sacrifice their friendship for that. He felt really selfish for thinking that way but he couldn't help it. Naruto was his friend and the only person that could make him feel truly relaxed and even carefree, on some level. There was no way he would let anyone take him away from him.

"How are you feeling now?" Gaara asked after they had settled on the living room.

"I'm better, thanks to you," Naruto answered friendly but his voice didn't have the happy tone it usually had. The familiar smile was on his face though, and so Gaara believed that the blond was telling the truth.

They spent the rest of the evening doing their homework, arguing over the assigned math equations, eating supper and talking, even though it was mostly Naruto who felt the urge to speak. They didn't speak of the earlier happenings of the day but instead the blond babbled about his problems with Kiba, telling how Shikamaru and Neji had already gotten bored of his situation and had told him to let time go on and see what would happen.

Gaara had nodded every now and then, gesturing that he was listening even though he stayed silent. To tell the truth, he really didn't care about Kiba and wasn't sorry that Naruto was drifting apart from him. The brown haired boy had often shot nasty glances at Gaara, making the redhead feel threatened and even though the two of them had never even talked, he could sense that the other boy didn't like him the least bit.

The night grew darker and at some point, Naruto let out a tired yawn. He was more than glad that Gaara had offered to stay overnight because when the redhead was around, he didn't feel so lonely and abandoned. The whole time they had sat not too close to each other and thanks to that, Naruto was calmer now. The disturbing and alluring thoughts had left his mind, making it easier to be around Gaara.

"I think we should go to sleep, or what do you think?" Naruto said, stretching as he got off from the couch. He picked up two empty bowls, which had earlier contained some delicious ramen, from the coffee table and was about to make his way to the kitchen.

"Naruto..." Gaara started, unsure how to phrase his thoughts.

He wasn't sleepy at all, instead he felt wide awake and alert. He knew that Kankuro could never in the world get in here even if he let his guard down for the night but subconsciously, he couldn't relax. Because of the earlier events of the day he wanted to stay close to Naruto so that he could make sure that nothing threatened the blond. A small part of him wanted to stay the night next to his friend because when he was alone, it was harder to get to sleep. He had always disliked sleeping alone but at home, it was often the better of two evils. With Naruto though, he was quite sure he wouldn't have to worry about letting his guard down. A really small, almost a minimalistic part of him was curious and wanted, in some enigmatic way, to _feel_ the blond, much like the way he had when he had hugged his half-naked friend some hours ago. That part of him was related to the strange feeling he sometimes got when Naruto was close to him, like he was somehow drawn to the blond.

"Could we... could I sleep next to you tonight?" Gaara finally asked, hoping that Naruto wouldn't get him in the wrong way.

At hearing the words, Naruto almost dropped the bowls. His back was turned to the redhead and for that, he was grateful, for he was sure his face would reveal every little feeling the just spoken words had awoken in him. He was getting hotter in an uncomfortable way as some lecherous thoughts popped into his mind. He shrugged them off quickly, knowing it would do him no good to think things like that right before sharing a bed with his crush.

"S-Sure, it's okay," Naruto finally answered, hoping his faltering voice wouldn't reveal his excitement.

As he expected, he got no reply from Gaara and so he made his way to the kitchen. He leaned onto the sink and gulped down a glass of water, for his mouth suddenly felt very dry. Slowly, it began to dawn on him what he had just agreed to. In his fantasies, this kind of opportunity would have felt like a gift from above but now in real life, he realized how dangerous the situation was. What if he did something stupid in his sleep, or spoke in his dreams? He drank another glass of water and tried to clear his mind. It would be better if he thought nothing at all.

When he came to the bedroom, Gaara had already changed his clothes and now had a tight T-shirt with low waist pajama pants. Quickly, before he would start ogling his appealing friend, Naruto grabbed his night clothes and disappeared into the bathroom to change them on. He hoped the redhead wouldn't notice his nervousness or question him about it. Soon, he returned to the bedroom and saw Gaara already lying under the blanket. He gulped and walked to the bed, reminding himself that it was normal for friends to sleep next to each other and that he really shouldn't think anything extraordinary about it. As he lay down, he felt his heartbeat increase and when he finally pulled the cover over him, the beating sounded like drumming in his own ears. In the silence of the house, he was sure that the whole world could hear it, too.

"Is this making you uncomfortable?" Gaara asked, his jade eyes boring into the side of Naruto's head. For some reason unknown to him, the blond hadn't even glanced at him and he could clearly see that his friend was all but relaxed.

"N-No," Naruto answered, giving an uncharacteristically short reply. He stared at the ceiling as if it would help him to get over his nervousness.

"If you want, I can go to the couch," Gaara suggested, already about to sit up.

"No!" Naruto exclaimed, gripping Gaara's arm and pulling him back down onto the mattress. "I mean... please don't go. It makes me feel safer when you're with me," he then continued.

"Alright," Gaara replied shortly, glad that the awkward tenseness seemed to have left Naruto by now. "I'm sorry about earlier, it shouldn't have happened," Gaara started, referring to what his troublesome brother had done. He hoped that the incident hadn't scarred Naruto too badly.

"But it wasn't your fault, it's not _you_ who should be apologizing," Naruto said, turning to look at the redhead. In the darkness, Gaara's pale skin shone like ivory, the dark circles around his eyes even more pronounced. To Naruto, he looked more beautiful than anything he'd seen so far. The sight was so appealing that he had to keep himself in check so that he wouldn't reach out and caress the redhead's face.

"I know but I feel responsible. If we had never met, that wouldn't have happened," Gaara said.

From the beginning he had known that it would be hard to have any kind of relationships with people when his brother was around but still, he had managed to befriend Naruto. At first, he had thought to keep them only as acquaintances but without him noticing it, they had become friends. Even then, at some point, he had thought he could always break away from Naruto if things got too difficult but now he noticed that it wasn't an option anymore. Somewhere along the way had emerged that strange feeling he occasionally got and because of that, he felt a bit more drawn to Naruto. He couldn't explain it to himself, he only thought it was the result of his own longing to feel something normal, something that didn't feel wrong or immoral. And now, he had let himself get used to the blond to the point that he didn't want to lose him anymore. He didn't have a clear concept of how this all had exactly happened but did it really matter? He didn't regret anything, except for not warning his brother earlier to stay away from his friend.

"So do you wish we'd never met?" Naruto asked quietly, his blue eyes suddenly filled with sadness.

"No, I didn't mean that," Gaara said, wanting to cheer up the blond. He didn't like the deep blue orbs reflecting that kind of sorrow, those feelings just looked so abnormal on the usually joyful Naruto's face. "I'm glad we met. You're my friend now and I... I want to protect you," he said quietly, confident enough to reveal such personal thoughts.

"Gaara..." Naruto whispered. He hadn't expected to hear such sweet words from the redhead. His heart started to thump louder in his chest again as the words fully sunk in. Gaara wanted to protect him! That meant that the redhead felt something for him, that he wasn't totally meaningless to him. Could those friendly feelings develop into something deeper? The possibility excited Naruto, sending shivers down his spine.

"I want to protect you, too. You and your friendship are important to me, I hope you know that," Naruto replied, smiling faintly. He wasn't surprised to get no verbal reply from his friend, after all the redhead wasn't a person of many words. What surprised him was that Gaara put the cover more neatly around him, enfolding the blanket more tightly over them both. It was an answer of Gaara's own to the blond's words. At first Naruto tensed but soon got used to the warmness and the blanket entwining them closer together.

"Are you tired?" Naruto asked, yawning. He was more tired than he had even realized.

"Not yet," Gaara replied, watching as the blond's eyelids slowly closed.

When Naruto's breathing evened out and he lost his earlier tenseness, Gaara knew the boy was asleep. He wrapped an arm around Naruto, pulling him closer and resting the blond's head on his chest. Without him actually noticing it, his other hand came to rest on the blond locks, increasing the feeling of safety. In some distant childhood memory, Temari had held him like this when he had been sad or upset. He could still remember the feeling of safety and closeness and that memory guided him now in his task of protecting Naruto.

He was more at ease when he could feel Naruto's steady heartbeat and know that everything was alright. For an hour or so he kept staring into the darkness, every now and then glancing at the doorway, as if to keep away some invisible enemies. When all was quiet and still, he felt his own black eyelids grow heavier and soon after, he too fell asleep.

* * *

It rained heavily outside and Gaara woke up to the sound of water drops hitting against the tin roof. It was dim in the bedroom because the bright morning light had been darkened by the grey nimbuses clouding over the sky. In the middle of the night, Gaara had woken up and seen a flash of lightning, soon followed by a loud thunder. He had stayed awake for awhile, looking at his sleeping friend before deciding it was safe to go back to sleep.

The blond was now lying on his back, obviously still asleep. To Gaara, Naruto looked so peaceful and even... pretty when he was asleep. Pretty? Was that really what he thought about the blond? Pretty in an _artistic_ way, Gaara decided and felt more peaceful about his own thoughts.

When Gaara lay under the soft blanket, resting his head against the plush pillow and knowing both he and Naruto were safe from the raging storm, he felt really comfortable. Not only that, he felt also safe and rested. He had never before in his life felt so good and that's why, a part of him wished he wouldn't have to get up.

Naruto's slumber soon lost its peacefulness as the blond started letting out incoherent parts of sentences Gaara couldn't understand. The blond was getting more restless and the incomplete mumbles were melting into quiet moans. Gaara eyed his friend suspiciously, feeling uneasy. He was about to wake Naruto up but when he touched the blond's shoulder, Naruto let out a pleading, sleepy whisper, "Mmh... Gaa-ah."

At that point Gaara felt really awkward, as if he was witnessing some personal moment which wasn't his business at all. He couldn't understand the incoherent mumbles but he could see that Naruto was having a rather pleasant dream. He didn't like to admit it but somehow the sleepy moans made that strange feeling come back to him. He felt oddly captivated by the sight of his friend and he was unable to tear his eyes off of him.

Even when dreaming of something probably not so innocent, Naruto succeeded in looking pure and uncorrupted. Gaara's hold on Naruto's shoulder tightened the longer he let his eyes rest on the slightly parted lips and the faint blush on the blond's face. He tried to sort out the reasons why he was still staring at his sleeping friend, instead of having already woken him up. His reasoning didn't proceed very far though, it only succeeded in tangling his thoughts even more. It frustrated Gaara that he couldn't explain certain things to himself. When another sleepy moan escaped Naruto's lips, Gaara felt his own cheeks grow hotter. Quickly, he judged it was because of his own embarrassment over the situation, nothing else.

Shaking the blond's shoulder, Gaara ordered, "Naruto, wake up!" He couldn't let the blond dream any longer and addle his own thoughts. He really didn't want things to get more complicated than they already were and most of all, he couldn't afford his attachment to the blond get any further. His friendship with Naruto was already too good to be true and he didn't want to ruin it with his own confusing thoughts. When the sleepy blond didn't show any signs of waking up, Gaara shook him more forcefully, "Naruto! Wake up!"

Slowly, Naruto opened his eyes and felt someone shaking him. He groaned in frustration, for he had just been seeing a familiar yet wonderful dream about his red haired friend and he wanted to know how the dream would end. The unresolved tension caused by Kankuro's unwanted touches and Gaara's closeness had influenced on him, gracing him with the recent dream. Naruto tried to get back to sleep, only failing miserably as he heard someone speak right into his ear.

"Naruto! Are you awake?"

Naruto stopped breathing for a moment as his brain registered to whom that soft voice belonged to. In a second, memories of last night flooded into his mind, reminding him who he was sharing his bed with. The blue eyes shot wide open and Naruto turned his head to look at the source of that sweet voice. His breath caught in his throat again when the pale, smooth face was only an inch away from his own. The jade eyes were boring into him and it made Naruto feel a little uneasy.

"G-Gaara?" Naruto asked in a confused voice. Had he spoken in his sleep, or even worse, had he uttered some other, more embarrassing sounds? The most burning question was, however, why was Gaara so close to him, gripping on his shoulder and staring at him? An involuntary shiver ran down Naruto's spine as the redhead's warm, steady breath hit against his face and he couldn't help but wonder if he was still dreaming. Naruto gulped, deciding to fill the awkward silence with talk, "Is there something wrong, Gaara? Did I oversleep?"

"No," Gaara answered to the both questions, still not looking away from his friend. He hadn't seen that side of his friend before. He had never experienced or witnessed anything even remotely sexual that one could label as normal or pure. It confused him that that kind of innocence he had just witnessed, even existed and it gave him even more reasons to protect his friend.

On the other hand, he felt sad because the sheer purity that radiated from Naruto reminded him about his own dirtiness and the skeletons he had in his closet. Maybe that was why he felt so drawn to his blond friend, for a small, childish part of him cherished a hope that Naruto's pureness could clean him, too. Realizing that he had been quiet for a while and still holding the blond's shoulder in a tight grip, he relaxed his hand and spoke, "I was just watching you when you slept."

With that said he fell silent again, his arm still draped over his friend's chest, holding the shoulder. He wanted to feel normal human contact. He sighed quietly, remembering all too well that the next night he would have to spend at home. A wave of uneasiness washed over him and he didn't feel like going out to the rain and to the school anymore, or anywhere else for that matter. He just wanted to be with Naruto.

He detested himself for feeling so weak and cowardly. He had now known Naruto for about three months and in that time, he had become this soft. It was stupid to feel this way. No one could help him because things couldn't change. Life just was so difficult and if Gaara hadn't been clinging onto Naruto like the blond was a life buoy, he would've surely drowned into his own depressing thoughts.

Naruto swallowed hard as he imagined Gaara staring at him, looking at his every move when he was asleep. Now he wished even more that he had kept his mouth shut during his slumber. He jolted off from his thoughts as Gaara sighed and clung onto him even tighter. Naruto turned to lie on his side in order to face his friend and noticed that the black eyelids were closed.

"Are you still tired?" Naruto asked.

"No," Gaara replied and opened his eyes. The jade pools were impassive but revealed a hint of sadness. "I was just thinking," he then added.

"Maybe you think too much," Naruto said, hiding his worry behind a carefree smile. He had noticed the sad look on the redhead's face and wondered what had caused it.

"And maybe you think too little," Gaara replied, the corners of his mouth slightly curving up. What he had said was true though, because when it came (for example) homework, the blond didn't really seem to sacrifice his time to think over the assignments.

"Well, maybe that's why I'm so happy all the time," Naruto said, grinning. He knew his playful banter had cheered up the redhead because even though Gaara didn't smile, his pale face held no trace of the earlier sadness anymore. "What time is it by the way?" Naruto asked cheerfully, thinking it had to be rather early since his alarm clock hadn't gone off yet.

"Does it matter?" Gaara asked in an emotionless voice. He had now made up his mind and decided it would be much more therapeutic to stay here with Naruto instead of going to school on this rainy day. Too bad that he couldn't skip home, like he could do with school.

"What do you mean does it matter? We have to get to school in time!" Naruto stated the obvious, utterly surprised at the turn of the conversation. He started to worry about his friend again, wondering what was behind Gaara's strange behavior.

"Do we?" Gaara asked, knowing his words confused the blond. He didn't feel like explaining though, the lesser Naruto knew about his life, the better.

"What? Are you serious?" Naruto asked, staring at the redhead in astonishment. "Since when have _you_ started cutting classes? Haven't you always reminded me about the importance of school?" he went on, not believing that his friend would actually be serious.

"I just don't feel like going," Gaara stated.

"But won't your brother find out?" Naruto asked.

The jade eyes grew darker and he moved his gaze to rest on some spot in the distance, not looking into the blue pools anymore. "Yes," Gaara answered, knowing that his brother would surely scold him later.

"Aren't you afraid he'll be mad at you?" Naruto asked, not understanding the redhead's reasoning.

"No. I don't care about the scolding," Gaara replied, telling the truth. He wasn't worried about the verbal punishment.

"I'm sure your brother is only worried about you if he gets mad, I can see he cares for you," Naruto said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. He recalled the moment from the day before when Kankuro had talked about how Gaara had been a bit happier lately. The brunette's face had shown genuine care and even love for the redhead.

"Shut up," Gaara snapped, turning his back to Naruto so that the blond couldn't see his face or the feelings he was afraid he couldn't hide. He didn't want to talk about his brother, nor did he want to think about the brunette 'getting mad' as Naruto had put it. The phrase reminded Gaara all too well about those numerous times his brother had lost himself. What he wanted was to spend time with his friend and forget certain things.

"Geez, sorry," Naruto muttered, sad at having to face his friend's back. He was quiet for a while before gently touching Gaara's upper arm, telling he was sorry. "Tell me what's bothering you," Naruto said. He was used to the fact that sometimes Gaara was helplessly grumpy but this time, his instincts told him he should try and comfort him.

"Shut up," Gaara said again, his voice holding no other emotion but a hint of slight irritation.

"No I won't shut up, stop telling me that!" Naruto said, his voice rising. He tried to make Gaara face him by yanking the redhead's arm but the stubborn boy kept his back turned. "If I don't know what's wrong with you, I won't be able to help you or even comfort you!" he continued in a determined voice.

"I don't need anyone's help," Gaara growled. "And what makes you think I'm in need of comfort?" he then snapped.

"I just know it," Naruto said, unable to keep his voice from rising. He was getting frustrated at the stubborn redhead. When the yanking didn't do much good, he leaned his weight on his elbow and peeked over Gaara's shoulder to see his face.

"You know nothing!" Gaara retorted, not bothering to even glance at the blond. All the questioning made him act defensive. He had hoped he could've enjoyed Naruto's healing company without drawing too much attention to the reasons behind his behavior.

"Oh come on!" Naruto exclaimed and pulled Gaara to lie on his back. "I'm your friend and I'm here for you like you were there for me last night, so stop being stubborn. I want to cheer you up," Naruto said as he looked down at the deep jade orbs. Sometimes, Gaara was such a mystery to him.

Gaara studied the blond's face for a moment, as if calculating the boy's trustworthiness. "Fine," he finally said, reluctantly resiling his earlier defensive mannerism. "I just don't feel like going to school, that's all. I thought it would've been nicer to be... with you," he said quietly, hoping the blond wouldn't interpret his words in a wrong way.

"With... me?" Naruto repeated, his mouth slightly open from astonishment. "So you... you really would skip school just to be with me?" he asked, as if not believing the fact.

"Stop questioning me or I might change my mind and go to school after all," Gaara said, irritated.

"No, don't change your mind!" Naruto said hastily, lowering down and entwining his hands behind Gaara's shoulders, as if preventing him from leaving. There was no way he would trade a day off with Gaara to a rainy day at school.

Gaara felt his heart skip a beat at the sudden, desperate hug and when Naruto raised his head to gaze at him, he looked into the bright blue pools and couldn't help but desert his mind from all the previous, annoyed thoughts.

"What would you like to do?" Naruto asked after a while. He had thought they could go hang around outside but since it rained heavily, that option didn't feel so appealing.

"We should study," Gaara said, knowing it did no good to the blond to skip classes. He himself was way ahead in his studies, thanks to Kankuro half-forcing him to study hard.

"Agh, you can't be serious!" Naruto groaned. There would be no point in staying home if he still had to study. When the expression on the redhead's face didn't change, Naruto assumed he was serious. "Do we have to start right now?" he asked, depressed.

"No," Gaara said quietly, a little amused at the blond's reluctance to learn. He really didn't care what they did, he just wanted Naruto's cheerful company to heal his wounds.

* * *

The rest of the day went quite fast as they watched TV, drank some tea and to Naruto's great dismay, even studied a bit. They hadn't bothered to change clothes because both of them felt more comfortable in their casual pajama pants and T-shirts. For Naruto though, it was a bit difficult since he had to do his everything to keep his gaze on Gaara's face, not on his waist, where his tight T-shirt didn't quite reach the waistband of his low pants, thereby revealing a part of smooth, pale skin.

"It sure was fun today," Naruto said and looked as Gaara finished packing. "I even enjoyed the studying, can you believe?"

"Hm, I enjoyed this day too and I guess it wasn't too horrible to teach you," Gaara answered as he put on his shoes and coat.

"Hey, you succeeded in it better than most of the teachers," Naruto replied, smiling. He stepped closer to the redhead and looked straight into the jade eyes. "Gaara... Thanks for everything," he said and closed his arms around his friend, embracing him.

Gaara tensed and didn't hug back. The scent of Naruto wafted into his nose and suddenly, their position started to feel awkward. Why did it feel like that now when only yesterday, it hadn't? For some reason, he felt far too aware of the warm body pressing against him. It was awkward, yet he liked it. Pushing Naruto away, he took a few steps back, towards the front door.

"I have to go now," was all he said, his expression unreadable.

Naruto, for that matter, seemed to be his happy and casual self. "I know, see ya!" he said before Gaara left. He went to the kitchen to fix some food and it was then that he noticed the forgotten rooibos tea from the day before, now cold and bitter. Pouring it to the sink, he couldn't help but think what had happened after Kankuro's visit. That unpleasant harassment had surely led into more enjoyable experiences, and Naruto almost melted into a puddle, feeling happier than ever before.

* * *

Gaara hadn't realized how hungry he was until now, when he opened the refrigerator door and noticed a small plate containing Kankuro's self-made sandwiches. His brother often left lunch for him and even though he had said he could make his own food, Kankuro always rejected the arguments by simply stating that he wanted to make sure Gaara ate enough.

Soon the plate was empty and the sandwiches were eaten. Kankuro wasn't at home and because of that, Gaara felt a bit more relaxed spending time in the kitchen. Deciding it would be wise to unpack, he grabbed his bag and headed to the cellar. It surely had been a nice day, after all, Gaara decided as he was about to open the door.

"He's no good for you," came a voice somewhere behind him.

"Kankuro?" Gaara asked but before he could turn around, two hands entwined around him, embracing him from behind.

"You skipped school today," Kankuro stated disappointedly, as he spoke straight to his little brother's ear.

"I know," was all Gaara could say. He felt uneasy because he couldn't face his brother.

"Isn't it a bit suspicious that the day you stay overnight at Naruto's place, you both skip school?" Kankuro said and soon continued, "What were you two doing, anyway?" And then, he pulled Gaara closer to him, his hold tightening.

"We studied," Gaara told honestly. The heavy atmosphere was making him nervous.

"Studied? Is that so?" Kankuro questioned, as if making fun of Gaara's answer. "What else did you do?" he then asked, continuing the interrogation.

"We watched TV. Are you happy now?" Gaara told again, wondering where his brother was getting at. He hoped Kankuro wouldn't think anything stupid.

"Skip school one more time without a good reason and I'll make sure you won't be seeing the blondie for a while," Kankuro said sternly, his grip tightening again.

"You won't hurt Naruto!" Gaara said, his voice rising. He tried to struggle away from his brother, without success though.

"Shut up. If that blond is so precious to you then start paying more attention to your education," Kankuro growled into the redhead's ear.

"Alright I will," Gaara huffed.

"That's a good boy," Kankuro said, smirking, and freed the redhead. "Let's go to the kitchen and prepare some snacks for our movie night," he then continued, planning on spending some time with his beloved little brother.

"I don't think I want to, not after what happened yesterday," Gaara snapped and turned to face the brunette. "I think you were only trying to meddle in my life with your doings," he said, looking his brother straight in the eyes.

"Meddle? You're almost hurting my feelings. Didn't I tell you before that I was only protecting you? Didn't I say that the blondie was no good for you? And wasn't I completely right, given you both skipped school today!" Kankuro defended himself.

"Don't say he's no good for me, you know nothing. He makes me feel better, we're friends," Gaara said, annoyance building inside of him.

"Friends? Hmph. Just make sure it stays only that or I'll make you wish you'd never even met that boy," Kankuro stated coldly.

"Don't be stupid," Gaara replied, defiantly staring back at his brother.

Kankuro looked at the redhead for a while before changing the topic, "Now let's go to the kitchen." It wasn't a request, it was an order.

"But I feel like being alone for a while," Gaara pointed out, not wanting to succumb to his brother's ordering again.

"Oh, I see. It's okay for you to spend your whole day with the blondie, you even skipped classes to be with him but when it comes to me, you only shove me away like some worthless trash. Naruto has done nothing for you, yet I have sacrificed myself for your well-being over and over again," Kankuro spoke angrily, hurt clearly displayed all over his face.

"You know what, Gaara? I'm getting sick of you! Every day I try my best to protect you and take care of you and all it earns me is practically a slap on my face from you!" he said, voice rising. He turned to go to his room, for he couldn't take it anymore. He had planned on spending a nice time with his precious little brother but now the idea wasn't so appealing anymore.

"Kankuro, wait!" Gaara exclaimed, going after his brother and gently taking a hold of his arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm not ungrateful for what you've done for me... for us. Please don't be mad at me," he said quietly, looking at his brother. Now he felt like a bad person and probably that was what he really was. He hadn't meant to hurt his brother.

Kankuro's back was turned to the redhead, hiding his face. Kankuro was smirking, for Gaara's words had been just what he had been expecting. Making sure his face hold the hurt expression once more, he turned around to face the younger male. "Do you really mean that? How do I know you're not just playing some cruel game with me?" he asked, looking crestfallen.

"Yes I meant it, Kankuro. And I would never play games with you," Gaara said, desperately trying to make his brother feel better. The negative feelings usually fueled Kankuro's instability and that was another reason why it was important to get the brunette to cheer up. "If you still want, I'd like to make the snacks now," Gaara said and turned to lead the way to the kitchen.

"Okay," Kankuro said, faking a miserable voice. As soon as Gaara's back was turned to him, the smirk was back on his face again, matching the glint in his bottomless, black eyes. He chuckled inwardly, for it never ceased to amuse him how easy it was to manipulate Gaara.

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**A/N:** _Okay, I hope this chapter wasn't too awkward! But these things had to happen. I hope the scene at Naruto's home wasn't boring because it contained a lot of introspection. It was needed though, in my opinion. Heh, Kankuro tried so hard to separate Gaara and Naruto but without him knowing it, their friendship actually deepened._

_I liked the title of this chapter, "Stay away from him", because it could be seen as Kankuro's subtle warning to Naruto to stay away from Gaara or then as Gaara's all but subtle message to Kankuro to stay away from his only friend._

_The next chapter will be a bit darker, I apologize that beforehand but things have to go a certain way that some pleasant and nice things can happen._

_BTW, __I drew a picture about this chapter__! It's about Gaara protecting Naruto while the blond is asleep. :) See my profile for links._


	9. Discipline

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.**  
Warnings: **yaoi,** INCEST, **hinted non-consensual, AU.**  
****Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

* * *

**A/N:** _There was going to be a non-consensual scene in this chapter but I cut it off, thus leaving the act only hinted because  
1) it wasn't relevant to the plot to describe the acts,  
2) the scene made even me sick and  
3) I don't want to scar my readers' minds more than I have to.  
And I think this chapter works better this way. At least there's now room for your imagination to fill in the blanks._

_Just to let you know, my thoughts are not tangled anymore like they were during the previous chapter. I hope this chapter is more... logical/better._

_BTW, my beta decided to read this chapter aloud while listening to Naruto music! It was weird but kinda cool because he speaks English perfectly and has a dramatic voice. :)_

_Thanks for the reviews and all! I appreciate it!_

* * *

**Chapter 9: Discipline**

Gaara was ringing Naruto's doorbell, standing in the windy and cold weather.

When no one came to open the door, Gaara pushed the doorbell button for the second time. Had the blond overslept again?

It had been a month since he had stayed overnight at Naruto's home and every single day after that, he had come to pick him up for school. Roughly said, the blond overslept about one or two mornings a week, making Gaara frustrated as he had to stand outside, waiting. He was about to ring the doorbell for the third time when he saw a glimpse of blond hair through the kitchen window. Soon after, Naruto opened the door and hastily stepped out before locking it.

"We're gonna be late!" the blond exclaimed.

"I know that!" Gaara snapped. He had waited for his friend for, what, five minutes already!

"We'd better run. Come on!" Naruto shouted, fastening his pace.

Not needing to be told twice, the redhead started to run, too. It didn't take long for them to reach the school gates. Luckily, there was still 5 minutes before the first class would begin. They wouldn't be late, after all.

"So, what took you so long?" Gaara asked. He was going to worm out the answer of the blond if needed that was for sure. He didn't like running and he liked it even less when it was in order to be on time.

"Er... I kinda... overslept," Naruto confessed innocently, fearing the redhead's wrath.

_I knew it!_ Gaara yelled in his mind. "Well don't do it again! Next time I won't be waiting for you," he threatened half-seriously when they entered the school building.

"You wouldn't!"

"Just wait and see," Gaara replied, the corners of his mouth lifting upwards. It was hard to admit but the blond's good mood was rubbing on him. Even his heart felt lighter than usual. They were about to bid goodbyes and depart to their separate classes when an amused look appeared on Naruto's face.

"Gaara," Naruto said as he came to stand only a few inches away from the instantly tensing redhead. He smiled slightly as he touched the red hair locks, smoothing them at the top of Gaara's head. "Your hair was funnily up."

"Must've been the wind," Gaara said quietly. His hair had been alright when he had left home and he wondered if they'd been as Naruto said or if it'd been just another excuse for the blond to destroy the safe distance between them.

"Yeah, must've been the wind," Naruto said in an equally quiet voice.

To Gaara, the situation was getting more and more uncomfortable as Naruto didn't back away but only looked at him quietly, a mysterious smile on his face. Like so many times before, Gaara retreated and turned to leave without a word, escaping to his first class. He always ran away and Naruto always kept on coming close. The slight feeling of Naruto's fingers on his hair still lingered on his scalp and Gaara scratched the red locks, fading away the distracting feeling.

* * *

Gaara stood near the school gates, waiting for his brother to pick him up. They had planned on going to the centre of Konoha to do some necessary shopping. After a minute or so Kankuro pulled over and the redhead got into the car. The brunette had had a morning shift so he had been able to leave early.

"How was your day?" Kankuro asked, glancing at his little brother as he drove.

"It was okay," was the short reply. "Yours?"

"The café was unexpectedly crowded today and there were only two of us staffers in there! What a hellish day to be at work. I'm glad I was able to leave early!" the brunette huffed.

Customary silence fell over them as Gaara found no need to reply. He looked out from the car window, deep in thought. He wished he could be in the cellar. Today, he was in no mood for spending time in a crowded mall.

"You need a new winter coat. It's getting really cold already, it might even snow a little," Kankuro reminded, pulling the car over to a parking lot. He didn't want Gaara to freeze in his current, thin coat. The brunette needed a new one, too but it could wait, probably until next winter, or the winter after that.

They entered the clothes shop they usually patronized. Gaara searched through the coat rack, looking for a black one. He didn't want to wear any other color. Fortunately, he found a gothic coat that fit him when he tried it on. He was about to tell his brother he'd found what he needed but the brunette came to him instead, carrying a black piece of clothing.

"How about this one? I think this would suit you," Kankuro said, holding a short coat which had fur on the border of the hood. The redhead looked at the piece of clothing with distaste.

"I'm a boy, I don't wear anything that has fur on it," Gaara snapped, clutching the coat he wanted to have.

"Oh come on, you would look good in this! Besides, this is cheaper than that one" Kankuro encouraged, draping the coat towards the redhead. He wanted to see Gaara in the short coat, for unlike the gothic coat, this one wouldn't hide the redhead's good-looking behind. Because of the tight, low-waist jeans Gaara favored, it would be a shame in Kankuro's opinion if the tempting behind would be covered by a coat. He almost drifted off into daydreams of how good Gaara would look in the clothes _he_ liked to choose for him but he was brought back down to earth as the redhead spoke.

"No."

"Please..." Kankuro whispered, changing his ground. He wanted to see the redhead in the coat he had took liking into. That way Gaara would be more his.

By now, Gaara was totally annoyed at the pointless, ongoing debate. It was nobody's business but his what kind of clothes he chose to wear. He didn't know why some stupid fur suddenly attracted his brother but he wasn't going to succumb, not in this matter.

"Just keep your perversions to yourself. If you want it so badly then why don't _you_ buy it for _yourself_?" Gaara retorted, until he realized what he had let slip.

The black eyes grew cold in an instant at the words. Fortunately, no one was near to hear them. Kankuro put the coat he favored aside and gripped Gaara's shoulder. The jade green eyes didn't give away any feeling but indifference. Kankuro hated the mask Gaara always had on his face, hiding his emotions. The only way to get Gaara show his deepest feelings on his face was, well, very illegal. He would gladly tear the mask away right now but couldn't, in a place like this.

"Watch your mouth. Do you want someone to hear us?" Kankuro said, yanking Gaara by the shoulder. Still no emotion. Getting impatient, the brunette jerked the redhead along when he started to walk.

"Now let's go to the cash desk and get out of here!" Kankuro said, ready to buy the gothic coat to Gaara even though he didn't like the said piece of clothing at all.

After a moment they were in a department store and things were going smoothly again, even though Kankuro was still irritated and uncharacteristically quiet. For Gaara it was refreshing, since he preferred silence to childish debate.

They had accidentally met some of Kankuro's friends and in a second, Gaara had noticed, Kankuro's behavior had turned from annoyed to friendly. The brunette had laughed and joked and even patted Gaara on the shoulder, smiling warmly at him. It had lasted only as long as those so called friends had been around, though, for the moment they had been out of sight, Kankuro had turned into serious again, the black eyes holding no trace of the earlier warmness anymore.

An uncomfortable silence had fallen upon them once again. Kankuro didn't like that he had lost in the clothes shop. Gaara had won back there, but only because he didn't want to continue the quarrel and get some unwanted attention. Still staying quiet, Kankuro strolled to the department which had supplies for pets. Gaara followed him and almost bumped into his brother when the brunette suddenly stopped.

The older of the brothers turned to look at the younger one, a vicious smirk on his face. He had picked something from the stand and now that Gaara noticed what it was, he didn't like it at all.

"How about this kind of dog collar? Would teach you some discipline..." Kankuro teased, waiting to see a trace of emotion on his little brother's face. He wanted to crack the mask, even just a little. That way he would win and make up the defeat he had suffered back at the clothes shop. No one was within earshot so it was safe to get back at the redhead.

The green eyes widened in horror. Kankuro saw uneasiness written all over Gaara's face. Good, that was an emotion. He wanted more of it, more emotion. More emotion meant more winning.

"Is this about that coat again?" Gaara sighed, a little unnerved. He wanted to get home before his brother got more twisted ideas. Thinking again, he wasn't so eager to leave after all—here in public Kankuro couldn't do anything to him but at home... Well, that was a different story.

"Forget the coat. If you're a good boy I might buy this one for you," the brunette said and smirked, flourishing the collar.

"You're sick," Gaara answered, well aware how stupid it was for him to angry his annoyed brother even more.

"Didn't I tell you to watch your mouth? One would think you intentionally seek trouble..." Kankuro growled. At then his glance hit a chain leash. He touched it, and then looked back at the wary looking redhead. "This chain would go well with the collar, wouldn't it?" he then continued.

"You're stupid," Gaara said, glaring at his brother. He wasn't sure if Kankuro was actually serious or only joking.

Kankuro put the collar back on the shelf and advanced on the redhead. "Stupid? I'm not stupid enough to get to the receiving end of the leash, unlike you," Kankuro whispered, slightly touching the studded collar on Gaara's neck.

He was about say something more when a bunch of people came to the aisle. Seeing that their peace was gone, Kankuro turned away from Gaara in order to leave the department. The redhead sighed inwardly and followed, even though he really didn't want to.

* * *

When they were finally home, Kankuro was more than relieved. Here, no one could eavesdrop. Here, he could be free. He tugged at Gaara and turned the redhead to face him before the said boy could sneak into the hideous cellar.

"You'll do the dinner tonight because you were so troublesome in the mall," Kankuro ordered, playing with the studded collar that was on Gaara's neck.

"What? I wasn't troublesome! Besides, I made dinner almost every day last week. It's your turn!" the redhead defended.

"Well, either you cook or I'm going to have to teach you some _discipline_ with this collar of yours," Kankuro said calmly. "Which one do you choose?"

Gaara gulped. He had a bad feeling it wasn't just an empty threat. Freeing himself, he retreated to the kitchen. Rummaging through the cupboards, he tried to decide what to cook. After a moment, he chose to make rice and salmon.

* * *

The easily made dinner was ready in no time. The two brothers ate in silence, not looking at each other. After finishing his share of the food, Kankuro finally glanced at his little brother.

"How's school?" Kankuro asked, breaking the ice.

Gaara lifted his head to look at the brunette. Thinking a moment, he finally spoke, "It's okay, as always..."

Kankuro lifted his eyebrow, as if doubting.

"Have you gotten into fights anymore?" he then asked. His little brother was infamous when it came to fighting, thanks to the redhead's lack of hesitation and mercy. Kankuro knew that Gaara didn't pick a fight because of fun—it was always a matter of self-defense.

"No, I haven't," the boy in question answered quietly. He was in no mood for conversations. There could always be a danger that he let something cheeky slip, thus aggravating his brother even more. He didn't want to know if the brunette would carry out his earlier threat about teaching discipline. He knew that someday only a little mistake or a poor choice of words could angry Kankuro to the point where he would get back at him. Today could be that day.

"Well, that's good. Do you need any help with homework?" Kankuro asked, eager to help. He was quite sure that Gaara would skip his math homework if he wasn't there to encourage him.

"No," the redhead replied, already leaving the kitchen.

"Hey, don't go so quickly. Have you done your math homework?" Kankuro questioned him. He wouldn't let his little brother lazy around if there were tasks to do. Gaara would not end up without a place in college or university, if Kankuro had a say in it.

Annoyed that his plans to sneak into the cellar seemed to go awry, Gaara went to pick up his school bag from the hallway. He then reluctantly sat next to his brother, hoping everything would go smoothly for he didn't want to annoy Kankuro even more somehow, like being uninterested in dull and trivial things like math.

"Well okay, help me then," Gaara huffed. He was getting a headache already.

After having helped his little brother for an half an hour, the vein on Kankuro's temple started to pulse. He tried to calm himself and remember that Gaara was a sixteen-year-old and people of that age could be very annoying, uninterested and reluctant to do what was important. He reminded himself that it wasn't Gaara's fault and that likely he himself had been as irritating two years ago.

"I don't get it!" Gaara yelled in exasperation. He and Kankuro were equally annoyed by now.

"Well you have to try _harder_! This is important, everything they teach you at school is. You have to be smart and become educated. I bet you just think your life will sort out by its own, without an effort!" Kankuro yelled back.

"What if I don't want to learn everything? And yes, I believe life will sort out, in the end! Not everyone is like you. Not everyone wants to be on top of everything!" Gaara shouted, sitting up. He was shoving his books back into his bag, ready to leave. His headache was almost killing him by now.

"You can't go yet! You haven't even studied the extra stuff that's in the books!" Kankuro protested, capturing the redhead's wrist.

"I _don't want_ to study the extra stuff! There's a reason why it's extra, you know? Normal people don't even glance at that section and they still manage well," Gaara yelled a bit louder, trying to jerk his hand free, in vain.

"Yeah but you're not a normal person anyway, so sit down and study!" Kankuro snapped. Gaara's shouting was hurting his ears so he didn't want to increase his own pain by yelling loud himself.

By now Gaara was annoyed beyond belief. Unable to take it anymore, he freed his hand with one swift movement and hurried to the cellar. He slammed the door shut, as if it was his last reply to his demanding brother.

He threw his bag to the corner with force, cursing the stupid books, education and society's demands. He put the headphones on and put on some music in attempt to calm himself. The cellar was chillier now because currently, it was the coldest period of winter. Gaara crawled under the blanket, thoughts spinning in his head like a tornado. For some reason, a thought of Naruto popped into his mind, soothing and calming.

He wondered what the blond was doing right now. Maybe he was alone in his little house with nothing to do. The redhead felt the urge to be with his friend. They had had good time together, like this morning. He really could pay the blond a visit in order to get rid of his own depressing mood. Getting past Kankuro would be tricky, though. If the brunette saw a glimpse of him, there would be a danger that the stupid rant of studying would start all over again. If the cellar had a window, he could certainly creep out of it without anyone noticing.

In the kitchen, Kankuro leaned his head on his hand, staring out of the window into the darkening night. He was worried about Gaara. He was certain that without him, the boy would surely end up in the street or worse. He felt that all he did for Gaara was still not enough. Just why couldn't the teenager study harder, like he himself had done at school?

Why couldn't his little brother obey him and do what he was told? He knew that rebelling was a normal part of teens but it still didn't make it any easier to have these fights with Gaara. Sometimes it felt like the burden on his shoulders was too much and he constantly kept on worrying if he was good enough a person to take care of his precious little brother. Well, on some parts he knew that he certainly wasn't but on other parts, he thought he succeeded pretty well.

He had been only 16 when he had been left alone with Gaara and due to that, he had had to grow up fast. Back then, Gaara had been even more rebellious and harder to get along with. On some of the darkest moments, he had wondered why it had to be him who had been left to bring up a teenager when he himself had been one, too, equally in need of a safe adult to lean onto.

Kankuro sighed and rubbed his temples. It sure wasn't easy to take care of everything he had to. He worked long shifts at the café to get all their bills paid. He answered to the phone calls from the principal telling Gaara had skipped school or gotten into a fight. He watched that Gaara didn't get into wrong company and that no one tried to hurt him. Then there was the fact that he tried his best to encourage Gaara in his studies and pass the extensive knowledge he himself had, to the redhead. And in the middle of all this, he tried to keep himself collected and calm like an adult should do, suppressing his increasing worries about his mental condition and hoping he wouldn't accidentally hurt Gaara during his episodes.

Right then the cellar door opened. Kankuro sat up and strolled to the hallway only to see Gaara was leaving. He stepped in front of his little brother and gently cupped the pale face, forcing the younger male to look at him in the eyes. Gaara's cheeks were cold and his fingers tingled because of it.

"You're freezing. Why don't you spend time in your room?" Kankuro asked, staring into the jade green eyes. Tenderly, he rubbed the pale cheeks with his fingers.

"I'm not cold. Besides I like it in the cellar," Gaara said as he attempted to back off. The older brother didn't let him go but slowly pushed him to the wall. Now there was no chance to escape.

"Will you sleep next to me tonight? I don't want you to freeze in that hideous place," Kankuro asked, admiring the beautiful, pale face. Gaara had so many chances for his future—why couldn't the boy see it? It would be so much easier if Gaara just did what he told him to do, because he knew what was best for his little brother.

"If you want me to sleep here I can go to my own room," Gaara replied, staring into the black eyes without blinking.

"I don't think so," Kankuro breathed calmly as his other hand lowered to Gaara's neck and fingered the studded collar there. He didn't avert his eyes for a second. Instead, he let his gaze bore into the green eyes, looking for submission. When he found none, he yanked the collar a little, reminding the redhead what he had said earlier when they had arrived home.

There was a flicker of emotion in the jade eyes. That was enough to satisfy Kankuro, who let go of the collar and backed off. Gaara was quick to put on his shoes and coat and was already half-way out of the door, when a calm voice came from behind him.

"And where are you going with such a hurry?" Kankuro asked even though he knew already.

"To Naruto's place," the younger of the brothers replied shortly.

"Fine. Come back before midnight," was the last sentence Gaara heard before he closed the door.

* * *

Naruto eyed the menu, pondering what he should order. He and Gaara had decided to go to the local, small diner that was quite popular among teenagers.

"Um... I'll take ramen," Naruto said to the staffer waiting for their orders.

"Again? You eat nothing else at home and now you decide to have that dish at here, too?" Gaara pointed out, thinking how unhealthy it was to eat like that.

"Well what should I eat then, French fries?" Naruto defended, surprised that the redhead had commented on his choice of food.

"No, they're even worse," Gaara said to him before turning to look at the girl behind the cash desk. "We'll have two salads, no dressing," he ordered and put his share of the money to the desk.

"What? Let's get at least some kind of dressing, otherwise it will be too dry to eat," Naruto said hurriedly, noticing that the redhead had already turned and was making his way to an empty table. He quickly paid for his meal and hurried after his friend.

"Fresh salad ingredients are not dry. Besides, they will taste better without any industrial stuff on top of them," Gaara replied, sitting down onto a chair.

"You better be right," Naruto said smiling as he sat across his friend, happy that he had finally gotten the redhead to a public place like this. It almost felt like they were on a date! When the conversation died out thanks to Gaara's lack of reply, Naruto started to talk about weather at first, soon moving on to other topics like school and new video games he couldn't afford yet.

It always amused Gaara how enthusiastically Naruto was able to talk about things, no matter what the topic was. It was a mystery to him how the blond was able to generate so much happiness around him. A small amount of that pleasant energy was rubbing off on him, too. Whenever he looked into the blue orbs he could see a glint of optimism there and every time, he wished he could see the world like Naruto did.

They got their salads and it was of course Naruto who was the first to start wolfing down his meal. To Gaara, it was another enigma how the blond was able to eat so fast. Did he even chew the food, or did he just swallow it hungrily?

"Oh man, this is good! Now salad is my favorite food number two!" Naruto said between the mouthfuls.

"I can see," Gaara replied, glad that his choice of food had been right. He wasn't so hungry, given that he had eaten lunch at school and then dinner at home. He was half-way on his salad when Naruto had already eaten his own share.

"Ah, I guess everything good ends too soon," Naruto spoke, an empty plate in front of him.

"Are you still hungry?" Gaara asked, slowly eating the fresh salad ingredients.

"No, I didn't mean that," Naruto replied hurriedly.

"Go on, I know you want to. I'm not hungry anymore and you were practically eating my salad with your eyes a moment ago," Gaara pointed out, pushing the plate to the middle of the table. "We can share."

The salad hadn't been the only thing Naruto had been eating with his eyes, for in his opinion, the redhead across from him was quite a feast for the eye, too. "Thanks," Naruto said, already eating the offered meal. Now that they were eating from the same plate it was starting to feel more and more like a date to Naruto and inwardly, he almost exploded from happiness and excitement.

They ate in silence, Naruto much faster than Gaara, and when the plate was finally empty, both of the boys were full. Gaara glanced at his cell phone to see what time it was, noticing it was already 9 p.m. He didn't want to go home so early but it was no use staying here, either, seeing that the place was closing.

For a while, they were strolling on the streets of Konoha, looking as the stores were being closed for the night. It was cold and Gaara wondered why he hadn't put on the new coat for tonight. The sky was pitch-black with no stars, reminding Gaara a bit of Kankuro's black eyes. A gust of wind blew through his thin clothes, freezing him to the bone and he shuddered.

"Wanna come to my place?" Naruto asked, leading the way to the direction of his house.

"I guess I could," Gaara replied casually, not wanting to appear too eager.

It was dark at Naruto's home, too but the lack of light gave a soft and safe impression. The silence was broken when Naruto sneezed loudly and then shivered, only to sneeze once again.

"Bless you," Gaara said in a monotonous voice. The thin clothes Naruto was wearing were too cold for the current weather, no matter how much the blond defended his choice to use his beloved, orange jacket. "I think you caught a cold," Gaara pointed out.

"Yeah... I probably did but what can you do?" Naruto replied in a carefree voice despite the fact that he had just fallen ill.

"You could put on some winter clothes," Gaara suggested. "No matter how much you claim to love that orange piece of clothing, it's not worth freezing yourself," he then added.

"Nah, I'll be fine. Besides, I don't like my winter coat, it's blue and not orange," Naruto said.

"Then you leave me no option but to take the jacket away," Gaara said, taking the said piece of clothing from the rack Naruto had just put it in, and stuffing it in his bag. "You'll get it back when it's spring," he added, his face holding no emotion even though his actions revealed his care for the blond.

"Hey, you can't just take away my property! I love that jacket, give it back," Naruto exclaimed. He didn't want to be forced to wear the blue winter coat, no matter how warm and cozy it was. When Gaara made no gestures of returning his property, Naruto let out a sigh, defeated, "You're not gonna give it back, are you?"

"I am, when it's spring," Gaara replied. He wasn't too good at showing his feelings by words or gestures, so he often had to resort to blunt actions.

Naruto sneezed violently again, almost doubling over. It was then that he was ushered to sit down onto the couch by Gaara and soon, an old blanket that was always lying on the other end of the couch, was wrapped over him.

"Stay there, I'll lit the fireplace," Gaara said. So many times before he had seen Naruto do the task so he knew by heart how the firewood should be arranged and then set on fire.

"You don't have to fuss over me," Naruto said, looking as the redhead put the logs of wood into the fireplace. He was already feeling better and the warm blanket made him even more relaxed but still, it was weird to have someone take care of him like that.

"I know but I want to," Gaara replied, lighting the fireplace and closing the hatches. The more he had things to do, the less he had time to think what awaited him at home.

"I'll go make us some tea," he announced, already on his way to the kitchen. He immersed himself in the preparation of tea, glad that he had something else to do than just sit still and think. He wasn't one to fuss over people but when it came to those he cared about, it felt somewhat easy to take care of them like this. He glanced at the clock and saw it was already about 10 p.m. How fast time had gone. It was a pity.

"Thanks, you wouldn't have to," Naruto said, gladly accepting the hot drink. His throat had started to feel sore and hopefully, the warm tea would make it go away.

Gaara didn't say a word but sat down and hugged his knees, making sure he was on the other end of the couch than Naruto. Being too close to the blond made him uncomfortable. Before, it had felt relaxing but now, he tensed around his friend. When they kept their distance like this, he could almost imagine that things were like they used to be in the beginning.

Only the occasional crackling of the burning firewood was breaking the heavy silence that hung in the air. From the corner of his eye, Naruto glanced at his pensive friend who only sat still, the hot drink of his forgotten on the coffee table, untouched. For the last month Gaara had been weirdly distant, flinching away from him and not meeting his eyes so often anymore.

"Aren't you going to drink your tea?" Naruto asked, looking at the silent redhead.

Upon hearing the words, Gaara grabbed the tea and emptied the mug with one, long gulp. He then put the cup back to the table and seemed to fall into his own thoughts once again. For the past three or four weeks, things had been somewhat like this between them. It worried Naruto, for Gaara had been more distant and quiet than usual. He wasn't sure of the reason and when he had asked, Gaara had only snapped at him or then mumbled something inaudible.

"It's still chilly in here. I bet you're cold. Why don't you come under the blanket, too?" Naruto asked friendly as he noticed how his friend shivered.

"No," Gaara replied, still not looking at the blond. The wind howled outside and Gaara almost shuddered from the memory of its freezing air. He tried his best to ignore Naruto, not to think about him or the feeling he got when he was near him. His attempts failed miserably, though, when the said blond got off from the couch and sat down near him, that mysterious smile on his face again.

"Don't be so quiet and boring, come under the blanket," Naruto suggested, draping the other end of the blanket towards Gaara.

"Stop it. You're going to infect me with your flu," Gaara said, trying to shoo the eager blond away.

"Come on, you're shivering. You probably got sick too, given that you too run around in thin clothes like that," Naruto said and smiled.

"It's none of your concern what I wear. I'm not falling ill," Gaara replied. He just didn't want Naruto to get any closer.

Naruto snorted, amused by the way his friend was. "Whatever," he said and moved to sit side by side with Gaara, not caring about the death glare he received because of his actions. He put the blanket over Gaara's shoulders and entwined them into the warmness, holding the two corners in front of them with his hands.

Gaara let out an annoyed groan as he was forced to the closeness he had tried to avoid. Naruto's grin only got wider and his eyes turned into thin slits as he looked at his friend. "Aww, come on, I know you like this," Naruto said, gently poking Gaara with his elbow.

"Hmph," Gaara growled, scared how close to the truth Naruto's words actually were.

Naruto's skin was warm, almost hot against him. The contact was burning Gaara, reminding how cold he had felt just a moment ago. He had to get away from Naruto, he would surely fall ill too if the blond stayed this close any longer. Naruto couldn't get accustomed to this kind of contact and neither could he. "Let me go."

At the grumpy words, Naruto turned his gaze to Gaara and looked at him with his blue eyes full of surprise. Gaara could see the light of the flames dancing in the dark blue depths and the blond locks that fell over Naruto's eyebrows were shining like gold.

"Please... Just a little longer, it gets so cold and dark when I'm alone," Naruto whispered.

Gaara swallowed, not finding his voice to reply. On the tanned face, he could see traces of how the loneliness had affected Naruto, for the blond held an expression of slight sadness. When his friend's head came to rest against his shoulder, the blond locks tickling his cheek a little, he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. As his gaze locked onto the flames once again, he wished he could stay the night with Naruto.

The short moment Naruto had requested became minutes and soon, half an hour had gone without them even noticing it.

"Last night I had the strangest dream," Naruto suddenly began, his head still resting against Gaara's shoulder. It hadn't been the kind of wild and wet one he usually had a pleasure to have. "You were in that dream."

Gaara let out a sound that indicated Naruto to continue. "I was in a forest and it was dark, I could barely see my surroundings. I knew that you were in there somewhere and I was looking for you. I also knew that your brother was there too, for some odd reason, and I knew he was after me," Naruto spoke, staring into the vivid flames.

"I was walking down a footpath which branched off in the end. I instinctively chose the left path of the two and started to follow it, knowing that your brother was coming closer to me, fast. It felt like I moved in slow motion because I couldn't run as fast as I would've liked to. I kept on running, no matter how slow it was. Then I saw you and you were standing on a crossroads, looking at me. It was getting darker and I ran faster, knowing that your brother was right behind me. I called out for you and draped my hand towards you and just when I was about to touch you, your brother caught me and the dream ended," Naruto said.

After he had woken up with a jolt, he had been really scared and anxious. He had gotten up and checked that the front door was locked and that all the windows were closed. Until that point, he hadn't realized how much Gaara's brother's advances had influenced him. He wasn't afraid of Kankuro but he didn't want to be alone with him, either.

"What a weird dream," Gaara commented. It worried him how close to the reality the dream could actually be and he hoped that nothing like that ever happened. "Do you know what would've happened if you'd reached me?"

"Not exactly. I just knew that if I'd get to you, I or we would be safe," Naruto replied.

"Hmm. Don't dream things like that anymore," Gaara said, knowing how impossible it was to control things like that.

"I try not to," Naruto said and lifted his head to look at Gaara.

Their faces were quite close to each other and Gaara could almost feel the other's breath on his skin. It was nothing new, for the he had been forced to become accustomed to this range. After Gaara had decided to take distance from Naruto in order to keep away the uncomfortableness that came near the blond, Naruto had stubbornly kept on closing the distance between them and coming closer. It happened at school, at here, everywhere they were together. Usually Gaara escaped from those situations but now he couldn't, for he was trapped between Naruto and the armrest of the couch. So, instead of fleeing, he only stared patiently back at Naruto.

"Good," Gaara replied. He wanted Naruto to be safe even in his dreams.

"What do you dream about?" Naruto asked, stubbornly staying close like this even though he knew Gaara didn't appreciate the lack of distance.

"About nothing," Gaara replied. He didn't have pleasant dreams and he didn't want to talk about them. It was getting much too warm again with Naruto so close, and so he turned his gaze to the flames once again, escaping the intense stare of the blue eyes.

"Surely you see dreams, too," Naruto said, studying the redhead's side profile. A grin spread to his face and he asked, "Do you dream about me?"

"No, don't be stupid," Gaara snapped, glaring at the blond from the corner of his eye.

"I was just kidding, no need to take everything so seriously," Naruto replied, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Hn," was all Gaara said. His gaze wandered on the living room walls, accidentally hitting on the clock. His black-rimmed eyes widened as he saw how late it was already—it was a quarter until midnight!

"I have to go," Gaara said hurriedly, breaking free from the blanket's embrace and getting up from the couch. A tanned hand took a hold of the pale wrist and when Gaara turned to look at Naruto, the deep blue eyes held a pleading look.

"Would you like to stay overnight?"

As much as Gaara wanted to say yes, he couldn't. His brother had ordered him to come home before midnight and he didn't want to anger him by asking for the permission to stay here. Besides, Kankuro had made it clear that he didn't like Gaara staying the night at Naruto's place at schooldays.

"I can't."

The tanned hand slowly let go of the pale wrist and Gaara's arm fell limply to his side, the feeling of Naruto's touch still lingering on his skin.

"It's okay," Naruto said and smiled like always, hiding his discomfort at not being able to spend more time with the person that mattered him the most in the world. By now, Gaara had become his most precious person. He believed he had felt this way for a long time already but it was only recently that he had actually realized the fact.

Gaara was standing on the hallway, facing Naruto and ready to leave. The blond stepped closer to him, yet again destroying the safe distance between them. Gaara looked at him, thinking why he let Naruto come so close. Normal people weren't like this, not this close but were they normal, anyway?

"I guess I have to go now," Gaara said quietly, wondering how weird it felt to talk with Naruto's face not further than few inches away from his own.

"Yeah, I guess so," Naruto replied, forcing a weak smile to his face. In the dim light the red hair looked very dark, matching the black rings around the eyes, contrasting the pale skin. He was so close to that face which was near to perfection and he wondered what it would feel like to close the rest of the distance between them...

At then, Gaara turned away and opened the door. He left Naruto standing alone in the darkness of the house as he headed home, to the different kind of darkness. It would've been nice to stay but then again, it was safer not to. As the silhouette of his house came into view, a gust of wind blew straight through his clothes, freezing him. He looked at the black sky, still not seeing stars or even moon in there. He shuddered as he entered his home yard, not looking forward to returning home.

* * *

Gaara opened the front door and stepped quietly inside. The hallway was darkened and there was no light coming from the other rooms, either. It could be possible that Kankuro was already sleeping and if so, he was certainly not going to wake him up. In the darkness he had succeeded in getting off his coat and shoes without stumbling and was now heading to the safety of the cellar.

"Where do you think you're going?" came a whisper behind his back.

Startled, Gaara almost jumped. He thought he could hear his own heartbeat in the silence of the house. He tried his best to keep his breathing even—he was not going to show Kankuro his uneasiness. Slowly, he turned around to see that the dark figure towering over him was indeed his brother.

"Kankuro, don't scare people like that," Gaara said in as calm a voice as he could manage.

"Scare? Don't tell me you're scared... Gaara," Kankuro breathed, standing a few inches away from the redhead.

"I'm not," Gaara lied quickly, backing away slowly in an attempt to open the cellar door and vanish in there.

"Stubborn, aren't you? I thought you wouldn't go into that hideous place tonight," Kankuro spoke in an even voice as he seized the redhead's wrist.

"I... I just wanted to get my nightclothes," Gaara tried as he was desperately jerking his hand to get it free, without success.

"I don't think you need them," Kankuro whispered and started to drag him towards his room.

"Let go of my hand," Gaara said, not letting his voice falter. The door to Kankuro's darkened room slammed shut behind him, blocking his last escape route.

Soon they were lying on the bed, only their boxers on. Gaara had turned his back to Kankuro, waiting. All his life, he suddenly realized, he had been waiting: first that their father would disappear from their lives, then that he'd be able to leave this haunting house, then that the abuse would end. At moments like this, he waited for Kankuro to begin and when he would, he waited for it to end.

"Gaara..." Kankuro whispered affectionately, sliding his hand along the redhead's side. "I want you so much..."

Gaara shivered as a warm hand caressed his shoulder, like promising that nothing bad would happen tonight. "Kankuro... We shouldn't do this," he spoke.

"Please Gaara... I want to make you feel good," Kankuro spoke softly as he fingered the elastic on Gaara's boxers. "We don't have to go all the way, you know, there are other things we can do," he continued, teasingly pulling the boxers lower. "I think I could let you even suck me. You're so good at it anyway," Kankuro whispered seductively to Gaara's ear.

"No, I don't want it," Gaara protested, pulling his tight boxers upwards. He didn't want to succumb this time but only sleep.

"But I'd make you come, too," Kankuro assured, hungrily trailing his hand along the redhead's chest, slowly going lower and lower...

"No, that's not what I meant. I just want to sleep, not to do anything... else," Gaara defended, holding his brother's hand so that it couldn't reach any lower.

"You're an insomniac, have you forgotten? I doubt you can go to sleep just like that but after some activities you'd surely sleep like a log..." Kankuro whispered, nibbling Gaara's earlobe.

"I said no."

With an angry huff, Kankuro freed Gaara from his embrace and turned his back to him. Due to the movement, the blanket hardly covered the redhead anymore. Gaara shivered at the sudden chill, missing the warmness. He had hurt Kankuro's feelings and he knew his brother could sulk through the night if he didn't submit to his desires. On the other hand, this was a chance to escape and so Gaara sat up, his destination the cellar. When he was about to get off from the bed, a hand gripped his wrist forcefully.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kankuro asked, sitting up.

"To... to the cellar," Gaara replied, not letting his voice falter. He didn't like the angry Kankuro any better than the aroused Kankuro, and the least he liked the combination of these two.

Quicker than Gaara could even realize, he was pulled stomach first to the bed and soon after, he was pinned under the warm body of Kankuro. His boxers were yanked off and soon, his brother was naked, too.

"Why do you have to disobey me all the time? I try to be good to you but you constantly shove me away! I asked you nicely to stay here, I even tried to open up to you and show you my feelings, yet you only pushed me away rudely," Kankuro said in a sad voice which seethed hidden irritation. He had offered Gaara an easy way out at first but no, he had to refuse. Why did Gaara always have to be so reluctant? It made this all look like he was the bad guy. But he wasn't, he just wanted to love his little brother.

* * *

In the darkness the only audible sounds were their even breaths. Gaara kept his eyes cast downwards, for he didn't want to face the studying look Kankuro was giving him. The impassive mask was now back on his face again, when a few moments ago it had been ripped away and he had been given no chance but to show his emotions, especially those he wanted to hide.

"Don't be so quiet, everything's alright now," Kankuro spoke softly, holding his little brother close in a protective manner. He didn't like the oppressing silence between them but at least Gaara was now back in line, silent and obedient.

"You did it again," Gaara snapped. He didn't feel like talking. Actually, he didn't feel like sleeping, either, not after this. What he wanted was a warm shower to wash away the evidence. His body hurt and he knew he would stay home tomorrow, instead of going to school.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Kankuro whispered gently. He was genuinely sorry but he couldn't help what happened when he got impatient. At least there had been no blood, so the hurt wouldn't last long. In his mind flashed a memory of their first time together along with the bathroom floor covered in blood and he shuddered, pushing the awful memory out of his mind. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow, okay?" Kankuro promised, pressing a soft kiss onto Gaara's cheek.

Gaara only huffed for an answer. He didn't care how his brother would try to make everything up again, it still wouldn't fade away the hurt he felt.

"Gaara... You're the most precious person to me. I love you more than anything. When you reject me I feel really terrible. If you just accepted me it would be so much easier," Kankuro said, sliding his hand along his little brother's side and caressing the smooth skin.

"No, it would be so much easier if we didn't do it at all. I... I love you too but this feels so wrong," Gaara replied. They had had these kinds of conversations before and those situations usually ended with Kankuro hurting his feelings and not talking to Gaara for days.

"Love isn't wrong, haven't I told you that?" Kankuro replied, careful at avoiding the point that Gaara had brought up.

"I don't think love is wrong but having... being 'that way' with your brother is," Gaara said quietly, lowering his gaze. He already felt sorry for saying his opinion out loud. It sounded crazy but after all these conversations with Kankuro, he always felt like he should be apologizing if he disagreed with his brother.

Kankuro looked at Gaara for a moment, thinking how he should respond. Before he had started to take advantage of Gaara, he hadn't needed to manipulate the redhead to stay with him like he needed now. The fear that Gaara would actually tell someone was ever present and because of that, he paid extra attention to make Gaara think that he, too, was guilty.

"I... I think I see it now. You're going to abandon me, throw me away when you don't need me anymore, aren't you? I knew it, you're like everyone else," Kankuro said in a wavering voice, his grip on Gaara's upper arm tightening.

"What? I'm not going to abandon you, Kankuro. We're brothers, I'll always be there for you. I just don't like that you... that you're using me," Gaara said, looking at his brother's sad face. He didn't want Kankuro to get too upset because the emotional unbalance could trigger an episode.

"Using? But Gaara... you're using me, too," Kankuro whispered.

A few seconds passed in silence before Gaara's voice exploded in the room, "What?"

"Don't you see it? You're taking advantage of my kindness this whole time. I work like a slave to provide for us. I take care of the bills and other paper stuff. Again, it's me who goes to shopping and cooks, most often. I use the little money I have to buy you new clothes so that you wouldn't freeze or look bad, while neglecting my own needs in that part. And what do you do?" Kankuro asked and continued right away.

"As soon as you come home from school you go to see Naruto, leaving me alone to think how I've done my everything for you without getting anything in response. Added to all of this, you're cold to me, you shout at me and shove me away, not caring if I'd just bought you clothes or helped you with your homework. You always complain! I try my best yet it's never enough for you," Kankuro said accusingly, irritation clear in his voice.

"But..." Gaara started, trying to smother the guilt that rapidly crept into his mind. "I know what you've done for my well-being but you still can't blame me for using you," Gaara defended himself. He felt a sting in his heart for yelling at his brother earlier that day but the fights they had weren't only his fault. Even though he didn't do much at home but occasionally cooked and cleaned, it didn't mean he was taking advantage of Kankuro, did it?

"I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just pointing out the facts. You're not so innocent as you think you are," Kankuro spoke in a serious voice.

"But it's you who's taking advantage of me, not the other way around," Gaara exclaimed. He didn't want to believe what he had just been told. It wasn't true, was it? What if it really turned out to be like that all along, that it was he, Gaara, who had used his kind big brother without even noticing it himself? Did things like that happen?

"Believe what you want, Gaara but you've used me as much as I've used you. You are equally guilty. You are equally twisted because you enjoy it. No one will understand you, they will only accuse you, label you, call you a _monster_. Even Naruto would call you a freak and leave," Kankuro stated sternly, his black eyes boring into the jade ones.

"No..." Gaara denied. He didn't intentionally like it! What they did was wrong, he knew it was wrong. He wasn't guilty, was he? Would everyone—especially Naruto—really label him like that? "No, it was you who—" Gaara began, stubbornly defending his conception of truth but was cut off.

"Saying that you've been abused would be a serious accusation and _you_ could get in big trouble because of it. And besides, you have no evidence about me 'using' you, as you so rudely put it. No one would believe you because there's nothing to even tell about," Kankuro said, knowing full well that Gaara's words would be taken seriously, if anyone were there to actually listen.

"Surely someone would believe," Gaara said, his voice revealing the doubt for the words he had just spoken. What if no one believed? What if everyone said he was wrong, mistaken, and_ guilty_? Was he? No, he wasn't! But Kankuro was so convincing...

"No, they wouldn't. You have no evidence. I, however, can prove that I've been working a lot, almost to the point of exhaustion. I can prove that I have been abused as a child, it came out as Yashamaru died. Because of these things, I have continually worsening mental problems so if there's a victim, it's me," Kankuro said and paused, only to continue right away.

"Think about how hard I've had it and then compare it to your situation. You only have to occasionally be with me but even then, I always make you feel good and loved and you can't deny that you enjoy it. You should see your face when you come, it proves everything! You really shouldn't complain about little things, at least you're mentally healthy and your childhood wasn't as horrible as it could've been, again thanks to me!" Kankuro spoke heatedly, not tearing his piercing stare away from Gaara even for a second.

"But—"

"So to any outsider, it would look like I'm the overly kind big brother, doing my everything and even more for your well-being, while you would appear to be the emotionally cold little brother who only causes expenses and leaves me continually alone, no matter how much good your company would do to my mental health. So you surely understand that it's wise to keep your mouth shut because I don't want _you_ to get in trouble. I want to protect you," Kankuro explained.

"Kankuro..."

"And just to make it clear, I am not liable to provide maintenance for you, I am not your parent. If I'd wanted, I could've dumped you on the street after Temari left but because I'm a kind and humane person, I didn't do so. So above all, you should be _grateful_ to me and stop complaining. How dare you be so ungrateful and selfish after everything I've done and been through for _your_ well-being! I give you so much and ask for so little. I've never complained about my history and neither should you. I didn't bring you up to be a complainer!" Kankuro added angrily, piercing his little brother with a serious stare.

By now, Gaara was speechless. He simply didn't know what to answer, for he felt like anything he'd say could be turned upside down, confusing him even more. His mouth was hanging open as he stared at his brother in total confusion. When he couldn't think of anything to say, he closed his mouth and lowered his eyes. Even breathing was more difficult than usual as his mind tried to process the contradicting information. He had only tried to carefully point out that what they were doing was wrong but now, he felt selfish and ungrateful, _guilty_, for speaking out.

"But you don't have to worry about it, Gaara. As long as you let me take care of you, you have nothing to be afraid of," Kankuro assured gently. He caressed Gaara's cheek and then kissed him on the forehead. He would always protect Gaara but at times like these, he had to keep him on his toes to gain more control.

"Now let's go to the shower, everything will feel better after that. I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa before we go to sleep, okay?" Kankuro said, smiling warmly to his little brother.

Warm milk always helped Gaara to go to sleep but now, it served yet another purpose: after all the difficult speaking he had to make sure that Gaara still a positive image of him in his mind. Kankuro sighed inwardly. He was exhausted from all the talking and arguing. It had taken so much energy to bend the truth to the point that it had started to sound utterly wrong even to him. Hopefully though, Gaara would believe him and stay quiet.

* * *

After the shower and the hot cocoa, Gaara had sneaked into the cellar and was now lying on his back, staring into the darkness. Kankuro hadn't liked that, telling him how he was once again abandoning him and being ungrateful after he'd just been served hot cocoa and all. Feeling even guiltier than before, Gaara had promised to spend more time with him later and then, the hurt expression had vanished from Kankuro's face.

Now it was already well past 2 a.m. and he felt sleepy. The warm drink had done its job and was relaxing him, making his confusion a little more bearable. He wasn't sure what he should think. At least he wasn't going to tell anyone.

He felt bad and confused yet he couldn't relieve his burden and tell anyone, for the fear of no one taking him seriously was too strong. What if he was told that it was nothing at all, just life? Besides, he didn't want either of them, Kankuro especially, to get in trouble. What if this really was only a little thing compared to what his brother and some other, unknown people in this world, had been through? There were so many horrors out there, much worse than this. Maybe he could bear all this for a little longer, waiting until it would end. He could wait, because as Kankuro had said, he always enjoyed in the end. At least he didn't bleed even though it sometimes hurt. At least he was loved, a thing he had hungered for all his life.

He turned to lie on his side and clutched the orange jacket. Naruto's scent still lingered on the fabric, soothing and comforting him. The pain and worry kept him awake yet the orange jacket provided a delusion of safety.

Briefly, before the sleep took control of him, he wondered what would've happened if Naruto had caught him in that dream. Would they be saved? He snorted sleepily. How stupid it was to ponder about dreams. Still, after his breathing finally deepened and he fell asleep, he dreamed about being in a night-time city and looking for Naruto. The many streets and crowds of people kept on confusing him, guiding him into wrong directions. When he finally found him, everything else suddenly disappeared and they stood there, once again so very close to each other. Naruto was whispering something to him but he couldn't hear what, so he leaned closer until Naruto was almost speaking against his lips. He still couldn't register the words and Naruto only smiled because of that, closing his blue eyes and leaning closer...

Before the dream could proceed, the alarm clock went off and Gaara woke up. He turned the alarm off and fell back down onto the bed, fragments of the dream coming into his mind. He wasn't a person to think about dreams and this particular dream, he certainly didn't want to interpret. Naruto and his silly talk about dreaming had influenced him, it had to be that. Stupid dreams...

* * *

A few hours later, a grumpy Gaara was left alone as Kankuro headed for work. He welcomed the solitude but sadly, there wasn't much he could do because of the pain, a constant reminder of last night.

After hours of listening to music and thinking, his stomach rumbled. His appetite was gone but since he didn't want to have a gastric ulcer, he thought it would be better to eat and so he headed into the kitchen. Suddenly he remembered his promise to pick up Naruto to school this morning. What had Naruto thought when he hadn't come to his door at all? Maybe the blond had overslept again, this time thinking Gaara had really left him behind as he had playfully threatened.

His train of thought was interrupted, however, when the doorbell suddenly rang...

_**To be continued...**_

ooo

**A/N:** _From what I've heard, seeing roads and crossroads in dreams means that some things will change in your life._

_I know that most people now dislike Kankuro even more, I'm sorry that he had to be like that in this chapter. He's immature and his doings are very questionable, and I'm afraid this will not be the end of it._

_It's really frustrating when manipulative people succeed in turning the discussion upside down. I hope you won't meet that kind of people—some of them do it purposely, others don't even notice they're doing it._

_I drew a picture about this chapter! It's about Gaara and Kankuro this time...__ See my profile for the link._

_The next chapter will be more interesting in my opinion but what happened in this chapter, was important._


	10. Expectations

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

* * *

**A/N: **_Thanks for all the reviews, I appreciate them!  
Please see my profile for links to view the pictures __**Meioma**__ from deviantArt has drawn about this fanfic. Go and check them out! If anyone is inspired to draw fanart of this story, please let me know so that I can add the links to my profile. __Thank you!_

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**Chapter 10: Expectations**

A grumpy, annoyed and above all emotionally hurt Gaara was in the kitchen, looking for something to eat. He wasn't really hungry, for he had lost his appetite. His inner debate of what to eat and few other thoughts were disturbed when the doorbell rang. Curious, he went to answer.

On the door was no other than the ever lively blond, Naruto, grinning kindly and this time really wearing his blue winter coat Gaara had told him to. "Hey, is everything alright? You weren't at school today so I was worried. I brought you your homework, by the way," Naruto said happily. He didn't have to take more than one glance at his friend to instantly notice the grim aura around him.

Without a word, Gaara let him in and slowly made his way back to the kitchen. Today, he wasn't in the mood for talking or being friendly. Silently, he rummaged through the refrigerator and was satisfied at finding a box of green grapes—those he could eat even without appetite.

"Gaara? What's wrong with you?" Naruto asked in a concerned voice but it didn't seem to have any effect on the redhead.

Without paying attention to his friend, Gaara strolled into his room. It hurt to walk but he tried his best to hide his pain and move like nothing bothered him. He sat down onto the bed and rested his back against the wall, holding the little box on his lap.

"I'll get really worried if you don't answer me or anything. Why weren't you at school today? Have you lost your voice or something?" Naruto asked as he sat beside his friend. Just to be sure, he didn't sit too near, in case the quiet redhead wanted to keep his personal space this time. When Gaara said nothing in reply but only ate the grapes one by one, staring into the distance, Naruto got even more worried.

"Do you have a fever?" Naruto asked, putting his hand on the pale forehead, testing if it was abnormally hot.

"Don't touch me," Gaara said angrily, slapping Naruto's hand away. Right now, he didn't want to be touched, it reminded him too much of last night. He wasn't too happy that the blond fussed around asking questions because he wasn't willing to talk, he just wanted to be alone and think.

Naruto was taken aback by the reply he got. Only yesterday they had been so close at his home and now his friend was acting like he wanted nothing to do with him anymore. For a moment the blond was quiet, thinking back if he had somehow hurt the redhead. When he concluded that he hadn't, he looked up again at the boy next to him.

"Why are you so distant?" Naruto asked, sounding almost sad. How was he supposed to help his friend if he wasn't allowed to touch and if talking didn't have any effect?

The pair of jade eyes turned to look into the blue ones and Naruto flinched as their gazes locked. The green pools were almost blank, drained of everything they normally reflected. The emptiness soon filled with coldness and Naruto could see the redhead closing up into his invisible shell again.

"Why did you come here?" Gaara asked, staring none too friendly at the blond.

"Eh? What do you mean why? Of course I came here, I thought you wanted to get your homework. And I... I thought that you'd like to hang around with me," Naruto said, starting to feel stupid.

"I got the homework, now you can leave," Gaara said and looked away, resuming to eating the grapes.

"What? No, I won't! Not before I know what's wrong with you. To me, you don't look sick at all and I can't see why you stayed home, not coming to school," Naruto said, determination clear in his voice.

"What if I just skipped school for fun? And why do you care, anyway?" Gaara said, putting a grape into his mouth.

"You wouldn't do it for fun and how can you even think I wouldn't care? You're my friend, Gaara, I _care_ about you," Naruto replied, leaning a bit closer. "Yesterday everything was fine, why are you so cold to me now?"

The black rimmed eyes narrowed and Gaara chewed the poor grapes a bit too forcefully. He didn't want to think about yesterday, not even a part of it. All the memories were too fresh and he didn't want the guilt brought by his brother's words to crawl into his mind again. "Leave," he said, his voice seething coldness.

"No!" Naruto said, raising his voice. He wouldn't leave his friend alone when he didn't know what was wrong.

When the stubborn blond didn't make any gestures of leaving, Gaara decided that he would. He climbed off of the bed, careful at not getting into a wrong position. When he rested his weight on his feet, he couldn't help but wince at the unpleasant sensation it caused. Slowly, he walked to the living room, the grape box still in his hands. As Gaara carefully sat down onto the couch, the blond nuisance was instantly there beside him. The redhead frowned but didn't look at Naruto, instead he stared into the distance.

"Gaara... Why are you so quiet? You aren't normally like this," Naruto started again. He took a hold of Gaara's hand and squeezed it, desperate at having some contact with him.

"Don't touch me," Gaara hissed and jerked his hand away.

Naruto, however, didn't let go. Instead, his grip tightened and he took a hold of both of Gaara's hands, preventing his friend from shooing him away again. He didn't care that the jade eyes reflected dislike that promised a slow and painful death. He didn't care that Gaara was struggling and trying to push him away, either.

"Naruto! Let go!" Gaara growled, trying to get rid of the blond. He was just about to push the annoying blond down onto the floor when a flash of pain went through his body. He winced and momentarily stopped his resistance.

Naruto noticed his chance and toppled over his friend, holding the pale wrists down on the both sides of his friend's head. In the middle of all this, the grapes had fallen to the floor and were now scattered all over the living room carpet.

"Gaara, why won't you tell me anything?" Naruto almost yelled, his voice desperately rising. It hurt him that the redhead wanted to shoo him away like in the beginning of their friendship. Hadn't he already showed him his trustworthiness? Why couldn't Gaara still trust him?

"Get off of me!" Gaara said in a cold-dripping voice. If he wasn't in pain, the blond would already be on the floor or even out of the house. He had been pinned down onto this very couch so many times before that he had lost count, and it made him even angrier that now Naruto was doing the same.

"No, not until you tell me! Did someone hurt you?" Naruto asked in a worried voice, tightening his hold on the pale wrists.

"No! Get off of me, _now_," Gaara hissed venomously, struggling in vain.

"Then why are you in pain?" Naruto asked, ignoring the order of letting go.

"I'm not in pain!" Gaara said in a dangerously low voice, attempting to free his hands.

Naruto pinned the wrists down with a slight more force, not letting his friend push him away. "If you don't tell me, I will lie on top of you even if it takes all day, asking you questions nonstop," Naruto answered. He hoped he wouldn't have to carry through his threat. He was sure that at some point it would start to feel really akward to be in this position and it would be then that the improper thoughts would start to spin in his mind.

The black eyes narrowed a fraction as Gaara evaluated the situation. He hadn't thought about a story to explain his absence at school but given that the blond seemed to be serious, he started making up a white lie. He certainly didn't want Kankuro to find them lying like this when he came back home from work.

"Fine," Gaara spat, his jade eyes reflecting the dislike he felt over the situation. "I wrenched my lumbar region. Are you happy now?" he then said, trying to free his hands again.

Naruto studied the green orbs for a moment, wondering if he had been told the truth. "How did that happen?" he asked, a serious look on his face.

It was a question Gaara hadn't been waiting for. He pondered for a moment, thinking what he should say. "I was carrying a box full of old books from the attic, down the stairs," was all he could think of.

"Can I see that box?" Naruto asked. The blue eyes held certain deepness in them that Gaara had never seen before.

"No, it was taken to a flea market today," Gaara lied fluently. Judging by the look on Naruto's face, the blond seemed to buy it.

"I see. But wasn't it midnight when you came home yesterday, why were you carrying things at that ungodly hour? Or if you did it this morning, why couldn't it wait until later? And I think Kankuro's much stronger than you, you should've let him handle the heavy box," Naruto spoke.

At this point, Gaara was getting really annoyed at the questions that were far too specific for his liking. "I didn't want to leave it to the morning because Kankuro had to leave early. Besides, when I wasn't at home, he had to carry enough heavy stuff alone. I didn't want him to do everything," Gaara huffed, hoping his lies weren't too obvious. "And we needed the money, not that old junk in our attic," he added, trying to increase the credibility of the story.

"Okay," Naruto said, not so worried anymore. "But why couldn't you tell me this right away?" he then asked, feeling that all the pieces of the story didn't quite fit in.

"There was nothing to tell about," Gaara defended, struggling again.

"Yeah but there was nothing you couldn't have told me, either," Naruto pointed out, still not freeing his friend. "And that doesn't explain why you're so cold to me," he continued, saying the last sentence in a sad voice, his face full of sorrow.

"I just don't feel like being social today," Gaara replied, tired of having to cover up what was going on in his life. He didn't enjoy lying but there was no way he could tell the truth. He wanted Naruto out of the house, for he feared the blond might actually get wind of something he was better off not knowing. "Now get off of me and leave!" he continued harshly, inwardly wincing as his own, cold tone registered in his brain.

If possible, Naruto's face looked even sadder after that. The blue orbs shined and when Gaara observed more carefully, he could see that the wetness was probably caused by unshed tears. Was Naruto about to cry?

"Naruto..." Gaara said warningly. Boys don't cry!

"Gaara... Why?" Naruto asked, despair echoing in his voice as his hands finally freed the pale wrists and found their way around his friend's head. "Why do you keep telling me to leave? I... I care for you. I thought that because we're friends, you would accept it. Don't push me away, please," he said, pleading.

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, unsure how to continue. He hadn't meant to upset or hurt the blond but the fear of Naruto finding out about the abuse had made him act more defensively than normal.

"G-Gaara... to me, you're... you're the most precious person alive. Please don't push me away," Naruto stuttered, his blue eyes full of deep sorrow as he looked down at Gaara.

The black-rimmed eyes widened in surprise. He was Naruto's precious person? When had their friendship become so deep? He remembered how he had protected Naruto from his brother and how he had looked after him yesterday, all tokens of caring. But did it make Naruto his precious person? Naruto was important to him, he brought light into the darkness he lived in. In that way, Naruto was precious to him.

"I..." Gaara began, not quite knowing how he could turn his thoughts into actual words. He was cut off by the blond, however, and didn't have a chance to continue.

"Gaara, I..." Naruto began, his voice desperate. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he searched for the words and when he found them, they came out as a whisper, "I like you."

Before Gaara had even time to process what he had just heard, he felt soft lips pressing against his own. At that moment, his heart missed a beat, only to start drumming wildly in his chest right after. In a fleeting moment, the shy contact turned into a hungrier and more daring by Naruto, and it was then that Gaara got over from his shock and realized what was happening. Confused, he gripped Naruto's shoulders and pushed him away, quickly dropping the blond off from the couch and down onto the floor, following him. Naruto yelped in pain as his head hit the floor.

Gaara pinned his perplexed friend down, not actually registering his actions for they seemed more like a reflex. At first had come confusion, then the urge to get away from under Naruto because the situation had reminded him all too much of something unpleasant. Now, when he was in control and there was no danger that he would be forced to anything, there was room for confusion again.

"Why did you do that?" Gaara said angrily, not sure what would be the proper way to react. He wasn't angry but surprised and unsure. His heartbeat was still fast, making him feel almost dizzy. Naruto... liked him? Why?

"I... I thought I told you why," Naruto said, a little afraid. It was when his head had come in contact with the hard floor that he had realized _what_ he had done, and to _whom_ at that. He gulped as the icy jade eyes bored holes into him and suddenly, he became very aware of the suggestive position they were in. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," Naruto spoke, knowing his face was probably as red as Gaara's hair.

"You're a fool. I can't be with you!" Gaara said harshly. His own emotions were confusing him, making it hard to know what he should feel. The kiss hadn't been repulsing or disgusting. It hadn't felt wrong like the kisses he had had before but it didn't feel totally right, either. He and Naruto were friends and friendship was the closest thing he could ever offer. There was no way he could have a boyfriend as long as Kankuro was near him. How could he explain this to Naruto, without actually telling him too much?

A hurtful look came to Naruto's face at the insult and the sharp words. The anger displayed all over Gaara's face made him fear what would come next. He scolded himself for letting his emotions and urges take over. If he had kept his feelings under control, none of this would've happened. "Why can't you?" Naruto asked, "Is it because you don't like me?"

"No," Gaara replied. Now in his confused state of mind, he could actually imagine himself being attracted to Naruto but it was irrelevant. He just simply couldn't form a liking to anyone, it would endanger everything. That, and he was a little afraid of what Kankuro might do if he found out. "I can't because... it wouldn't be wise," he then answered, choosing his words carefully.

"What do you mean it wouldn't be wise? Doesn't it matter more what you _feel_ than what you think?" Naruto asked.

"You shouldn't let your feelings control you, Naruto but your thoughts," Gaara pointed out.

"Didn't you like how it felt when I... uh... k-kissed you?" Naruto asked. He wondered where he had gotten the courage to keep up the conversation. Maybe it was because he had dreamed of Gaara so long and knew that if he gave up now, he might never get another chance.

"I told you it doesn't matter what I feel," Gaara said, irritated. He was about to get off of his friend when the tanned hands seized his head.

"But I liked how it felt," Naruto whispered, lifting his own head and bringing their lips together again. Pleasant shivers went down his spine as he tentatively brushed his tongue against Gaara's soft lower lip.

Gaara hadn't expected to be kissed again. If it weren't for the hands holding his head still, the physical connection between them would've already ended. When a wet and warm tongue brushed against his lower lip sensually, a wave of excitement washed over him.

"No..." Gaara murmured, breaking away hastily. They couldn't be found like this! He couldn't develop any forbidden feelings for Naruto, it would only have disastrous results!

Naruto was breathing heavily under him, a visible blush on his cheeks. At that moment the blond actually looked beautiful to Gaara and more than just in an artistic way. He shook the thoughts off and cleared his mind, making room for rational thoughts instead of his primal ones. This was dangerous, his brother could come back any moment! He might not be able to explain and Naruto for sure would hardly be able to mask his feelings. This all came so soon and the events of yesterday were still fresh in his mind.

Gaara got up and straightened his clothes. His head was starting to hurt from all that had happened in such a short time. Naruto got up, too, and it was then that he noticed that he had smashed quite a lot of grapes onto the carpet.

"Oops! Sorry about the carpet," Naruto apologized, embarrassed. Some of the smashed grapes were clinging onto his orange shirt, staining it with their juices.

Gaara sighed and turned to look at his friend, "Help me clean up this mess."

When they both participated in collecting the unbroken grapes and carefully picking up the broken ones, Gaara couldn't help but wonder if they were still friends or something more. Had he already formed a liking to Naruto, without even noticing it himself?

To him, sexuality wasn't an easy subject and he honestly wasn't sure if he wanted anyone approaching him on that field. Being with Naruto didn't feel wrong but it didn't make the things any easier, either. Even though kissing was familiar to him, the kiss with Naruto had still been new and different. He was afraid that if anything like that happened again, he'd accidentally respond in some abnormal way, thus raising Naruto's suspicion.

"Here are the last ones," Naruto said and dropped the unbroken grapes into the little box Gaara was holding. "Sorry about the mess and the... kiss," he then added and when he drew his hand away, it accidentally brushed against Gaara's.

The fleeting contact made Gaara's skin tingle in a way it had never tingled before. He averted his gaze and put the grape box onto the coffee table, hurriedly leaving the living room. Now he knew what would be wisest to do and it hurt him. Still, he told himself that it would be for the best.

Naruto followed Gaara, unsure what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. He was so stupid! Why did he have to do it and ruin everything? As if Gaara hadn't been grumpy enough in the first place, he had to kiss him and make things even worse. He was getting nervous and desperate because of the dead silence between them. What if Gaara told him to leave the house, again? This time, he was sure he would, for he wouldn't dare to oppose anymore.

In the hallway, Gaara stopped and collected himself before turning to look at Naruto, who had come to stand next to him.

The blue eyes of Naruto looked so incredibly blue to Gaara. In them, he could make out at least four different shades of that mystic color when he looked carefully enough. Never had blue been so beautiful to him than now. But he would have to forget all this, forget what he had experienced with his first and only friend because Naruto would have to leave, the sooner the better. Gaara was already on thin ice. The weight of Naruto's—and his own—affection would only break the already cracked ice and then, he would fall into the depths of freezing, unknown water and drown.

"I'm sorry..." Gaara suddenly said, his jade eyes boring into the blue ones of Naruto's.

"For what?" Naruto asked, raising his yellow eyebrows in confusion.

"...but I'm not the one you're looking for. You don't know me at all," Gaara continued, his jade eyes now much darker than before.

"We've known for about four months, I thought I'd know you at least on some level," Naruto said, still not totally understanding what he had just been said. "Besides, I... I like to be with you." How lame had his wording sounded. 'Like' was far from true—in fact he hungered for Gaara's company, he made him feel happy, excited, _alive_. "I don't feel this good with anyone else."

Gaara could understand what Naruto meant, for he felt the same. He couldn't compare his time spent with Naruto to anything else. And still, even though he had just a moment ago admitted that Naruto was precious to him, he was now willingly giving it all up in order to protect everyone and everything. He told himself it was for the best. "Leave."

"Oh... Okay. Um, would you like to hang around tomorrow, after school?" Naruto asked, not too surprised that Gaara wanted to be alone after what had happened. He tried to not feel hurt, because he could always be with Gaara some other time.

"No. It's better if we don't see again. Now leave," Gaara ordered, keeping the impassive mask in place no matter how bad he felt inside. He didn't want to lose Naruto, he... he had that feeling around him, he hated letting him go. But he had to, it would be for the best. Naruto was already too close of finding out things he shouldn't. Maybe he shouldn't have let Naruto this close in the first place but now when he looked back, he didn't regret anything. The only thing he felt sorry for was that life and the circumstances were now tearing them apart. He couldn't have a person as close as Naruto was, not now. It would all end in pain, and pain was something he didn't need any more than he and his brother were already having.

It didn't matter what he felt. The feelings he had suppressed were irrelevant, dangerous. After what had just happened, Naruto's presence was only fueling them. All those feelings should be buried and forgotten this instant, before they grew and got uncontrollable. That's why, Naruto would have to leave, now.

Funny, he had known from the beginning that he couldn't really have any kind of relationship with anyone. But now, when he was on the verge of stepping into something deeper than just friendship and he had to end it, it felt so unbearable to let go, so difficult and bad. Realizing that this had been bound to happen someday didn't comfort him at all.

"G-Gaara? Are you serious?" Naruto asked, his casual voice turning into a wavering one. "Are you telling me that... we're not friends anymore?" he whispered in a faltering voice.

"Yes," Gaara replied firmly, keeping his voice void of emotion. The shiny blue orbs of Naruto made it hard for him to stay unaffected and secretly, he bit his tongue in order not to back off from his plan.

"No!" Naruto exclaimed, gripping Gaara's arms and staring into the darkened jade pools with such intensity that it made Gaara almost squirm in uncomfortableness. "No! I won't let you go! I already told you how much I care for you and I don't believe that there's any reason in the world why you should push me away. I didn't get to know you so that you could just run away from me like you do now," Naruto almost yelled, his tone of voice revealing each and every emotion he currently felt.

Gaara could feel the imaginary ice cracking dangerously and he feared for the moment it would give in and he would fall into the unknown. Naruto's blue eyes shined and even though the blond didn't actually cry, there were tears trailing down the tanned cheeks. He wasn't sure if Naruto even noticed it himself. The blond was looking at him with such a deep emotion that it made it hard for him to keep up the cool facade.

"I won't let you go! You're precious to me and I..." Naruto yelled again, his grip on Gaara's arms tightening as he kept on staring into the green orbs. "...I love you," he then whispered, a dramatic change to his earlier yelling.

In his head, Gaara could hear the loud cracking as the thin ice finally broke and he was left standing on the emptiness. Then, he began falling down to the unknown, waiting for the freezing water to embrace him and drown him mercilessly. The cold contact never came but instead, warmness filled him first from the outside and then from the inside. He was like on fire, his skin burning from all the emotions he had been trying to smother. They all broke free when Naruto's soft lips kept on kissing him, drowning him into something much sweeter than what he had even dared to believe existed.

He broke free in order to breathe and when he gazed into the blue orbs, they were dark and soft, clouded with desire and he could almost swear there was also a sparkle of that fire he had felt inside a moment ago. The first rational thought that came into his mind was that he had failed miserably in his plan. Never had failure felt so good, though.

"Gaara... Don't ever speak rubbish like that again," Naruto whispered and embraced him.

"Naruto..." Gaara breathed, entwining his arms around the blond. His own heart thumped in his chest, slowly slowing down to its normal rhythm. There was no going back now. It was foolish to succumb to these feelings when he clearly knew it could all end in sorrow. But around Naruto it felt so good, so... natural.

One thing was sure now. Naruto wasn't going to leave, he couldn't let him go after this, not anymore. How had he even thought he could do it? Gaara hugged the blond tighter, the closeness comforting him. He needed Naruto so much. He didn't want to—he couldn't—be without him, he needed the blond's happiness and care to live through the darkness that plagued his life. From now on, he just had to keep more secrets from both Naruto and his brother but it was okay. He could do it.

Right then, the front door clicked and Kankuro walked in, only to see his little brother hugging the suspiciously blushing blondie. Naruto almost squirmed in uncomfortableness because of the heated glares between the two brothers. He could feel Gaara's body tense all over and the redhead's hands gripped him even tighter. He was sure that if looks could kill, he would be dead ten times over already, for the coldness in Kankuro's black eyes almost rivaled with the chilly winter air outside.

Naruto wasn't sure why the atmosphere was so full of tension but he concluded it had to do with what Kankuro had said to him earlier. Maybe Gaara's brother really felt something for him and didn't like seeing him with the redhead?

After the venomous stare Kankuro had given to the teenagers, he got over from his shock and made a U-turn in his mind, forcing a normal, happy look onto his face. Only Gaara knew it was a façade in order to make things look different than they were in reality. The positive energy Kankuro was able to generate in such a short amount of time surprised Gaara, for the happiness—no matter how empty it was—was even greater than what Naruto could usually produce.

"The dinner will be ready soon. Would you like to stay and eat with us, Naruto?" Kankuro asked casually, putting his coat into the rack. He ignored the pointed stare from Gaara and smiled at the blond.

"Uh... O-okay. Thanks," Naruto stuttered, fooled by the dramatic change in the atmosphere. Maybe Kankuro had now accepted him and Gaara?

When Kankuro disappeared into the kitchen, Gaara broke free of the embrace and dragged Naruto into his room, closing the door behind them. How he wanted to go to the cellar but he couldn't, not with Naruto because he didn't want him to see all the paintings he had made. That part of himself he wasn't ready to show yet.

"Um, does your brother have a problem with us?" Naruto asked, feeling stupid at saying the question aloud. To him, Gaara's brother was hard to read, he couldn't understand why Kankuro had been cold at first and then, right after, like nothing had happened.

"I don't know," Gaara replied, even though he knew. "Don't think about him," he added, not wanting Naruto to ponder about Kankuro's behavior. He then turned to look at his... friend? Or boyfriend? What were they now, exactly?

Naruto had said he loved him. Did he love him too, in return? Love... what was that, really? Devotion, care and loyalty, something like that? He wasn't sure if he was able to feel anything so pure and true, even though he admitted that he did love his brother. But what he felt towards Kankuro was different, it was love between family members. What if Naruto found out about him and Kankuro, would he be left alone then? Who would want someone like him anyway, dirty and used? Gaara's spirits sagged as his train of thoughts proceeded. What if Naruto thought he was guilty, a monster, like Kankuro had said? What if Naruto thought he was sick?

"Hey, cheer up! What on earth are you thinking to make you look so depressed?" Naruto asked, taking Gaara's hand and leading him to sit on the bed.

"Nothing," Gaara said. He let Naruto hold his hand and caress his palm. Would Naruto touch him if he knew how he'd been touched before? Would Naruto kiss him if he knew about all the awful things?

A soft kiss was placed on Gaara's cheek and he turned his gaze once again to Naruto. Then, the blond captured his lips into a gentle and short kiss. Gaara wondered why he let it happen, why he let Naruto conquer his heart like this. He couldn't be fully Naruto's, not as long as his brother was around. Still, he was already becoming addicted to the blond, he could already feel his shattered soul healing, albeit rather slowly.

Naruto lay down and gently pulled Gaara along, holding him in an embrace soon after. Gaara's skin was tingling again and his heart thumped loud in his chest. With Naruto it felt so good, so different. The warmness of the blond was burning his skin again but this time, he didn't escape it. Before this, he had feared he would get hurt, _burned_. He still feared how this all would end but it was different now, he wasn't afraid of Naruto anymore or his own feelings but how things would go from this moment on.

"So... are we together now?" Naruto asked, smoothing the red locks. When he had come to see Gaara earlier this day, he would've never believed how things would go. He was so happy! So utterly, impossibly, madly happy that he almost couldn't believe this all was happening.

"I guess so," Gaara said quietly, for it felt like a thing people usually said in situations like this. He wondered if he could fulfill Naruto's expectations, whatever they were.

The sound of plates hitting a table sounded from the kitchen and Gaara knew it was time to go to eat. He felt very uneasy at the idea of the three of them sitting at the same table, pretending like everything was alright. Well, Naruto wouldn't pretend since he was clueless but Gaara knew he and Kankuro would.

Soon, they were sitting at the table, looking hungrily at the pancakes Kankuro had made.

"Ah, I love pancakes!" Naruto exclaimed. "Iruka used to make them for me but nowadays, I only eat them rarely because I don't know how to prepare them," he continued, already taking fresh pancakes onto his plate.

Gaara looked at his brother from the corner of his eye. He knew why they were eating pancakes—it was reconciliation because of last night. But he really liked pancakes and because of the gentle look Kankuro was giving him, he didn't feel so bad anymore. He hated that he couldn't stay mad at Kankuro for very long but his heart was stronger than his mind in this matter. At least his brother tried to be good and make everything up to him. He was still sore but the pancakes and the happiness radiating from Kankuro were lulling him into a feeling that everything was better now.

Usually, he was careful at not letting anything fool him into wrong images but he had a soft spot for his brother. He once more remembered all the things Kankuro had done for him and how things had been in their childhood. It really wasn't all Kankuro's fault what was happening in this house. His brother was sick but he hadn't asked for it, it wasn't his fault what had been done to him. After all, if their father's attitude had been different, his brother might not be like this today.

"So, did you get enough money from the old books?" Naruto asked casually from Kankuro, trying to break the ice and start a conversation. He didn't know what else to say and because Gaara had told him about the old junk Kankuro had taken to the flea market this morning, he felt it was a topic they could all discuss.

Upon hearing the question, Kankuro's eyes narrowed since he had no idea what the blondie was talking about. Gaara kicked him under the table, a signal that he should play along. Kankuro glared at his little brother from the corner of his eye, not glad at all that he was now pulled into a conversation based on something he hadn't even a clue about.

"Yeah. Twenty bucks," Kankuro said cautiously, wondering if it had been the right thing to say. Stupid Gaara, what had he told the blondie?

"Wow, that's much! When I took some old stuff to the flea market in the center of Konoha, the old hag in there gave me only a few dollars! A few dollars, even though the junk was of good quality and all!" Naruto exclaimed between the mouthfuls.

"I see," was all Kankuro replied, still not sure what their conversation was about. He was more serious now because of his unsureness, even though he tried to maintain his carefree and friendly façade.

"Yeah. You were lucky," Naruto said, hungrily wolfing down the delicious pancakes. He wondered why Gaara's brother seemed to get wary after he had started the conversation. Maybe Kankuro thought it was rude of him to ask about their money? Some people were like that.

The conversation died out after that and soon, all the pancakes were eaten.

"Gaara, can I have a word with you?" Kankuro asked, collecting the plates.

Gaara nodded and Naruto got the hint, going to the redhead's room and leaving the brothers alone.

"What the hell was that about?" Kankuro hissed after making sure that the blondie wasn't within earshot.

"Naruto was suspicious why I was in pain and I told him I hurt my back while carrying books down from the attic. When he wanted to see the books I told you took them to the flea market this morning," Gaara answered quietly.

"What? What a stupid lie! Haven't I taught you how to make up good, believable lies or are you just unable to use your brain to come up with a better story?" Kankuro whispered angrily. Even though the blondie seemed to be a bit dense, it would all go to waste if the redhead kept on telling such ridiculous lies.

"But he seemed to buy it," Gaara snapped, equally quiet. "And if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have had to lie in the first place!"

"I already told you I'm sorry! I... I try to be good to you, Gaara... I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you," Kankuro said in a hushed voice, a pained and sad expression on his face.

"I know," Gaara replied, keeping his voice down. He couldn't forgive yet but the guilty expression on his brother's face was melting his heart. He was already about to leave when Kankuro spoke again.

"Why were you hugging him?"

Gaara had feared for that question and that's why he had tried to leave before the conversation could proceed to this point. "I just felt like it."

"Felt like it? Gaara, you do realize you can't 'just feel like it'? He can't find out, you know that!" Kankuro whispered.

"I know!" Gaara snapped, annoyed. He didn't want the conversation to continue. It had been bad enough that Kankuro had seen them. Unlike he had at first thought, it was already proving hard to keep secrets from both his brother and Naruto. Still, he hadn't much of a choice.

* * *

"When will you be back?" Kankuro asked as he looked at the two teenagers in the hallway.

"Tomorrow."

"But you have to study, you weren't at school today. I think it would be better if you stayed home," Kankuro protested. He didn't like Gaara staying overnight at Naruto's home. The lesser his little brother hung around with the blondie, the better. There was always the danger that Naruto wasn't as dim as he seemed to be.

"Naruto promised to help me catch up. Besides it's Friday, there won't be school tomorrow," Gaara argued back.

Kankuro looked at the two boys, annoyed that he didn't seem to have a chance to keep them separated. The blondie looked suspicious with the slight blush on his face. He was sure that something more than just one hug had happened, he just couldn't prove it.

"Fine. But remember to study, it's important for the both of you."

* * *

That night, they didn't study or drink tea or stare into the flames like before. Actually, neither of them even remembered the school books buried in the depths of their bags.

They were lying on the bed, facing each other.

At first, Naruto had been clearly uneasy, not knowing what to do. They had ended up sitting on the bed like they did when they watched TV but neither of them had turned on the device. For once, Naruto had been at a loss for words and Gaara on the other hand, hadn't spoken for he had waited, not knowing what was expected of him. After a long moment of silence, Naruto had lay down, gently pulling Gaara next to him.

Now that they were together—as weird and new as the concept still felt—Naruto slowly let all his suppressed feelings come into the surface. As much as he was ruled by his emotions, he had kept most of them under control around Gaara this far, not wanting to act incorrectly or scare the redhead away. Wanting to have some sort of contact to the currently serious Gaara, he gently placed his hand on the other's waist and with slow motions, smoothed his boyfriend's side through the fabric of the black shirt. Gaara was so warm, he could feel his body warmth radiating through the thin layer of clothes. How hot would it be without any clothes between them, just skin on skin?

Quickly, Naruto shook the all too tempting thoughts out of his mind. He shouldn't think so fast, for only today had Gaara accepted him, after his confession of love. They really shouldn't rush things because it had taken them this long to get to this point and he didn't want to ruin it by hurrying. Even though his rationality now fought with his desires and was certainly winning, he felt his own skin get hot, much hotter than what he was comfortable with, and it didn't help that even one glance from the jade eyes set his senses on fire.

The gentle contact was to Gaara's liking and he was getting more accustomed to their position. He was afraid, even though he shouldn't—he could trust Naruto, there was no reason to be tense. Still, he couldn't fully relax, for this situation was new to him. Surely Naruto would now have some more expectations from him? Would he be able to fulfill them? And what were those unspoken expectations? Gaara really didn't know, so he relied on his conclusions based on his earlier experiences. Surely Naruto had some sexual desire, he could see it shining through the blue orbs. But how fast should they proceed? How fast did people usually proceed? Again, Gaara found himself not knowing for sure. He had liked kissing, it had been pure and honest, without any ulterior motives. But what if it wouldn't be enough for Naruto? After all, Naruto really thought he was just another normal teenager. How wrong the blond was. But he could never know about the truth...

Gaara closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together. Naruto let out a quiet, muffled moan and eagerly responded, to Gaara's pleasure. At least for now, he seemed to have done the right thing. Maybe now he had fulfilled even one of those mysterious expectations. Maybe now Naruto would be pleased with him and nothing bad would happen. Encouraged by the increasing groans from the blond, Gaara slipped his hand under the orange shirt, his hand skin on skin with the tanned waist. This was easy, he knew all about this. His unsureness decreased as the blond seemed to enjoy, encouraging him.

The desire was harder and harder to keep under control, and so Naruto broke free from the kiss and turned to lie on his back. Who would have believed Gaara was so eager? It was strange to Naruto, for he had expected Gaara to be more withdrawn and even shy, yet here the redhead was, inching closer to him again, until Gaara was half-laying on top of Naruto. As Gaara's hip sweetly pressed against his erection, Naruto let out a gasp and his hold on the redhead's arms tightened.

"Ah," he groaned, his blue eyes half-closed. By now, his skin was officially burning with need and want, every fiber in his body flooded with overwhelming emotions, driving him almost to a trance-like state. Was this really happening? It all felt so unreal, like too good to be true. There was some strange chemistry between them, for never had Naruto felt more alive than now. Still, on top of all his feelings were the affection and love he felt. He never wanted to hurt Gaara, never. He loved his precious redhead from the bottom of his heart, and at that thought, the blood rushed even faster in his veins, causing his heart to thump louder.

Gaara inspected the tanned face keenly, seeking for guidance what he was expected to do. Kankuro was always so straightforward, there was never need for hesitation but now, he was a bit unsure. As he felt Naruto's erection press against his hip, he knew what to do. Were they moving on too fast? But then again, he had learned that he should be the one to give pleasure to others. Kankuro expected that. Everyone did, didn't they?

Sitting up, he moved to straddle Naruto's thighs, noticing the blond tense at the change of position. He was confident, though, that things between people went this way, for any other kind of order he had no experience of. He didn't know any other way to act, so he did what he knew best. He wanted to be normal and Naruto brought him closer to that goal. Normal partners were like this, weren't they? Yes, this was the right thing to do. Kankuro had always liked it and why wouldn't Naruto, too? Besides, this way he would surely fulfill even more of Naruto's expectations. Deep down, he was afraid that the blond might be disappointed in him if it turned out that he wasn't all that normal. That's why it would be vital for him to act normal, confident. That way, Naruto wouldn't suspect a thing and all the carefully protected secrets would remain secret.

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, trailing his hand along the blond's chest to his hips, teasingly squeezing them. He knew all about this. Why would Naruto be any different in this, surely he too would enjoy those things Kankuro had told him to do.

"Ah... Gaara," Naruto gasped, not believing this was happening. Even greater wave of surprise washed over him as Gaara's hand moved to caress his erection through his thin, baggy pants. "Haa!" Naruto moaned, not sure if they should move this fast but since this was happening, he didn't want to stop it. Gaara seemed willing and he himself surely was, too, so to him, everything seemed alright.

A smirk Naruto had never seen before appeared on Gaara's face as the redhead squeezed the blond's throbbing member. Naruto looked so innocent, so submissive. Wavering feelings of power filled Gaara but he didn't dare to let them control him, for he didn't exactly know what they were. Still, now _he_ was on top, no one was forcing him. _He_ had the power.

"Ah," Naruto gasped and jerked his hips towards Gaara, not knowing how long he could actually take it before going over the edge. He was already so aroused that he needed little stimulating in order to come. He had dreamed about this for so long and now when this was real, it felt hundred times better than he had imagined.

"Please..." Naruto whispered, full of need, his nails digging on Gaara's thighs. He saw the smirk widen a bit at the plea and the jade eyes darkened. It looked incredibly sexy to Naruto, who bucked his hips upwards again, moaning as the pale hand rubbed him and squeezed him in ways he hadn't even dreamed of.

"Oh god... I-I'm so close," Naruto gasped and his grip on Gaara's thighs tightened. The one last squeeze sent him over the edge, a white-hot pleasure flooding all over his body as Gaara kept on caressing him. "Aah! Gaara!" Naruto couldn't help but moan his boyfriend's name as he looked at him with his dark, desire-filled blue eyes. At that moment, he didn't give a damn that he had just soiled his favorite pants.

Gaara lay down, next to the spent blond. The pleasure and satisfaction on the tanned face had gotten him excited, for deep down, he too was a hormonal teenager. He hoped Naruto was now happy, that he had fulfilled the unspoken expectations. From now on, he wasn't sure what he should do so he just waited, not noticing how deep the submissive mannerism was in him.

Naruto turned to lie on his side to face the redhead. The smirk was now gone and replaced with an impassive, waiting look. "Gaara... you're amazing," was all Naruto could think of, for at the moment it felt like the feelings he had were indescribable in all their intensity. He wondered if Gaara was still a virgin. For some reason, it was hard for him to imagine Gaara being with anyone, mostly because to his knowledge, no one had gotten this close to him before. Maybe Gaara was a natural, then? Either way, those things didn't matter so much to Naruto. The only thing that mattered was that Gaara was now his and that he had accepted his care and love.

Pressing his lips to Gaara's, Naruto trailed his hand along the black-clad body, wanting his boyfriend to feel good, too. Gaara let it happen and didn't protest when Naruto's hand trailed lower, hooking his finger in the loop of the tight jeans. It was when Naruto moved to caress the bulge in the tight jeans that Gaara let out a quiet gasp, muffled by their kiss.

"I want you to enjoy, too," Naruto said, breaking the lip-contact. He wanted Gaara to feel the same pleasure as he had. He wanted his redhead only to feel good and wanted, loved, and when Gaara gave him no signal of resistance, he took it as permission.

Gently, he rubbed the bulge in the jeans, not at all as confident as the redhead had seemed to be. Still, Naruto wanted to try his best, he wanted to give his everything and even more to Gaara. He adored the reaction his actions seemed to cause. There was a faint blush on the pale face and the jade eyes were fogged, almost getting Naruto hard again.

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, unsure how he should respond. This was all so new to him, yet still somewhat familiar. It felt good, even though he was a bit scared that things were happening so rapidly. He was still sore from last night but at a moment like this, he tried his best to suppress thoughts of anything unpleasant.

He didn't protest when Naruto asked his permission to open the button and zipper of his jeans, for he had learned to agree it. Besides, if this was what Naruto wanted, why should he deny it from him? He didn't want to be a disappointment. He didn't want Naruto to leave him, he couldn't let him go anymore. Besides, there was nothing wrong in giving into this, this wasn't wrong or immoral. It was when Naruto's warm hand gently touched his hardened member that he snapped out of his thoughts, gasping and gripping the blond's shoulders even tighter. When Naruto squeezed him gently and started to stroke him after that, it started to feel really good, and so he closed his eyes. Out of nowhere, an image of his brother popped into his mind and for a moment, it felt too real—like it was his brother next to him, not his precious Naruto. In a second, the black-rimmed eyes were open again, in hopes of suppressing that kind of memories. He didn't want to think like that, not now!

The desire on Naruto's face turned him on and the innocence glowing from the blond even at a moment like this never ceased to surprise him. He remembered how much alike Naruto looked now than when he had been asleep, moaning because of some dream he had been seeing. Naruto's touch felt so good and moment by moment, the intensity of the feeling increased.

"Naruto..." Gaara gasped quietly, trying to concentrate on his feelings rather than his thoughts.

When his release neared, his thoughts started to spin faster and he wasn't able to control them anymore. Naruto was so innocent, so pure. He himself wasn't. No, he shouldn't think about that now! Instinctively, he jerked his hips towards Naruto's hand and then, he felt a tinge of pain in his rear, making all kinds of memories flash before his eyes. The feeling of soon-to-be release was bringing back memories which his body seemed to remember better than his mind, and when he was near the edge, a halting, dreadful feeling came over him and his eyes snapped wide open.

"No!" Gaara exclaimed, quickly turning his back to Naruto and bringing his knees close to his chest. Some horrible, indescribable feeling was filling him, something akin to fear. It had felt like time had stopped, like even the blood had stagnated in his veins.

"P-please don't," Gaara whispered, back in a pleading mannerism without even noticing it himself. He half-expected Naruto to continue and ignore his protests, for that was the only way of handling these kinds of situations he had experience of. He felt like leaving the room but stayed still, for only yesterday he had been jerked back to the bed in similar circumstances. He was afraid. What if Naruto would now be displeased with him and get back at him? In his confused, almost panicked state of mind, Gaara couldn't see that Naruto wasn't like Kankuro at all.

"Gaara? What's wrong?" Naruto asked, gently touching the redhead's shoulder. He was dumbfounded, wondering what he had done wrong. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean to."

As the tanned hand kept on smoothing his shoulder, Gaara relaxed a bit. He still didn't turn around, for he didn't want Naruto to see the anxiousness he couldn't hide. He was so embarrassed for acting weird like this. It would be no wonder if Naruto got suspicious now. But how could he ever explain this to Naruto, when he couldn't even explain this to himself? No, this couldn't happen again. Maybe this time Naruto would be patient with him but in the future, the blond would surely get impatient like his brother did.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said quietly, the first thing that came into his mind. He felt guilty for ruining everything, for not fulfilling Naruto's expectations.

"What? You have nothing to be sorry about!" Naruto exclaimed, inching closer to his boyfriend in order to hug him from behind. "Gaara... It's me who should be sorry. I clearly upset you."

Staying silent, Gaara just waited. He wanted to believe Naruto, from the depths of his heart he wanted to believe that the blond would be nothing like his brother. Still, he kept on waiting for the anger and impatience which led to him getting hurt, for that he was accustomed to.

"Look, maybe we proceeded a bit too fast. We don't have to hurry, okay?" Naruto then spoke again, holding his precious person tenderly. He felt bad at letting his hormones get the better of him. The truth was, he had desired Gaara for so long that when the redhead had finally responded, he had been blinded by his own happiness and desire, forgetting all the rational reasoning. "If you ask me, I don't really mind if we proceed slowly. What's most important to me is that we're together, no matter what we do."

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, desperately wanting to believe that the blond was truthful.

"Gaara, I... I love you, I would never hurt you," Naruto said, meaning every word.

At the confession, Gaara slowly turned around and faced the blond, his face now almost void of the earlier fear and unsureness. He was more relaxed than before and slowly, the guilt was vanishing. But seriously, things like this couldn't happen anymore. It was hard though, for Gaara didn't honestly know how he should act, so he acted like he'd learned to. Besides, he hadn't foreseen this happening... Was he really this far from normalcy? It was a depressing fact to face and Gaara wondered if he would ever be able to be like everyone else.

Naruto looked at the pale face, adoring every feature of it. He was so very happy but at the same time, very worried, too. Gaara felt so... fragile, so scared. He couldn't understand why Gaara had acted that way. Was he only shy, inexperienced or was it something else? But surely Gaara wasn't too inexperienced, for the way he had touched him made him blush even now.

Or maybe his own eagerness had scared the redhead? After all, he knew Gaara didn't easily let people close to him, not to mention touch him. He, if anyone, should know that. But why had Gaara been so sorry, when clearly nothing had been his fault? The Gaara he knew, the one that had strangled him at school and had angrily dropped him down from the couch today, certainly wouldn't apologize too easily. But did he really know Gaara? Hadn't the redhead said to him only today that he didn't know him at all. What had that even meant? Naruto had no idea how to interpret it properly, so he just let the weird words hang in his mind, puzzling him.

"How do you feel now?" Naruto asked, gently looking at the redhead next to him. He wanted to make sure everything was alright, or as alright as things could be after something like this.

"I'm okay," Gaara said, even though he was a little unnerved. In his mind, he could hear Kankuro's warnings of not letting Naruto get suspicious and the threats of what he would do if anyone found out. A cold feeling came over Gaara. In what had he gotten himself into?

"Gaara... please tell me if you don't want me to do something, okay? I'm sorry, I really hope I didn't ruin everything," Naruto said, wondering how weird his words sounded to him. Until now, he certainly hadn't needed to encourage Gaara to tell him what he didn't like, for the redhead had always snapped at him or at least glared at him whenever he had invaded his personal space without his permission. This didn't quite fit into his image of Gaara and he had a distinct feeling that some pieces were missing, like when Gaara had told him earlier today his reasons of skipping school. Something didn't quite fit in but he couldn't tell what. It could certainly be only his imagination for the more he thought about things, the more confusing they got.

"You didn't ruin anything," Gaara said and then, after remembering something, turned his gaze to Naruto, "You should go to the shower."

Naruto blushed, though he agreed that a warm shower would certainly wash away the sticky feeling he had. "But I don't want to leave you alone so soon. I feel like it's better for me to stay here, beside you."

"You can go, I'll be fine," Gaara assured. Besides, he wanted a moment of solitude to sort out his feelings.

After a moment Naruto was in the bathroom and Gaara stared out of the living room window into the dark night. From the glass, he could see his own reflection. He looked like always, yet he wasn't the same anymore. For the first time, his mask had shattered in Naruto's presence. That could never happen again. He had a mask for a reason and this far, only his brother had been able to take it off. It was all so confusing. He trusted Naruto, cherished him, yet he was still cautious and afraid. Naruto wouldn't hurt him, he knew that, yet he feared that the same things that happened with Kankuro, would happen again with Naruto. That wouldn't happen, he knew that. Naruto had never been anything but trustworthy and friendly. He knew his fears were unreasonable but even though his brain realized this, the cautiousness still didn't leave his heart.

Gaara leaned his forehead against the cool glass and closed his eyes. A part of him wanted to leave and go home, only to avoid his embarrassment growing any stronger. At home, though, there was his brother who'd surely ask questions endlessly if he returned. It would be hard to lie, for he wasn't a person of untruth, and so Kankuro might get wind of what was going on between him and Naruto. It'd be best to stay here, after all. He admitted he had a desire for Naruto but all the ghosts of the past and present were haunting him, distracting him.

Those ghosts actually weren't as far away as Gaara thought, for in the darkness of the night, Kankuro was looking at the red haired figure leaning against the window. Kankuro had become suspicious and when his own doubts and guesses had almost driven him mad, he had finally gone out and lurked behind the windows, spying the two teenagers. He had seen everything, and things were just as he suspected.

Letting out a sigh, Gaara collected himself. When he lifted his head to once more look at his reflection, he almost thought he saw someone out there but after a blink, he saw no one at all. Now his mask was back on, like always, and he turned away from the window.

In the bathroom, Naruto was drying himself on the towel. The image of curled up and fragile Gaara kept on haunting his mind. It disturbingly reminded him of himself but as soon as the thought emerged, he pushed it away into the darkness of his subconscious. He was so confused. Should he be worried? Well, whatever the answer to that question was, he'd still worry. Gaara was an enigma to him. There was something oddly familiar in him, something he couldn't put his finger on.

He hoped he hadn't ruined everything and that Gaara wouldn't run away from him. He was afraid and insecure, even though he always let the smile on his face tell otherwise. He just hoped he could be normal, like everybody else. He didn't have many friends and people always ignored him, thinking he was weird, an outcast. But with Gaara he felt comfortable because the redhead wasn't like everyone else. No, Gaara didn't get bored of his talking or belittle him, telling him he was an idiot like most people did. Maybe it was because they both were a bit like outcasts that it felt so easy to him to be around the redhead.

From the bottom of his heart he hoped that Gaara wouldn't turn out to be like Sasuke. He couldn't take it if he lost another precious person. The feelings he had for Gaara were much, much stronger than those he had had for Sasuke, and that made it all the more important that Gaara wouldn't leave him.

When Gaara saw Naruto emerge from the bathroom, he noticed the sad look in the blue eyes. Now when he really looked at Naruto, he admitted he was beautiful, handsome. Why was it so easy for Naruto to conquer him like this? There was something strange in the blond, something that made him relax around him and feel safe, yet at the same time, there was a spark between them, making him even more drawn to him. Naruto was so contradictory. For the most of the time, he was cheerful and full of happiness but at times, when the blond thought no one saw—like now—sadness took over his features, darkening the shine in the blue orbs.

It intrigued Gaara what made Naruto so sad. He knew that relationships and especially friends worried Naruto, even to the point it wasn't reasonable anymore. He had told the blond that it wasn't truly important what other people thought about him but Naruto never believed. No, Naruto wanted to be friends with everyone and, Gaara had noticed, it hurt the blond when most people ignored him. It was so like Naruto to brush it off instantly and smile widely like nothing had happened. But still, Gaara sensed the mysterious sadness, knowing that often, the blond's happiness was fake. When they were together though, his blond radiated cheerfulness that was so powerful that it had to be true, for it rubbed off on him too.

"Why are you so sad?" Gaara asked. Usually, he let Naruto's moods come and go but now, he felt he had some sort of obligation to ask.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, dumbfounded, for he hadn't noticed Gaara standing there in the shadowy living room. In a second, he wiped off the sadness from his face, only to replace it with a wide smile. "It's nothing. I was just thinking that's all. Are you feeling better already?"

"Yes," Gaara replied. The mask was back on his face again and he felt safer. Now his secrets were safely locked away again, far from the surface.

They were on the bed again, ready to sleep. Gaara was holding Naruto against his chest like that one night when he had wanted to protect him. Gaara was gazing at the blue orbs, wondering what he should do, what was expected of him to do. Naruto looked so calm and gently, he smoothed the blond locks. One day, he'd paint a picture of Naruto for sure.

"I'm sorry I upset you earlier, I really am. We shouldn't have moved on so fast, it was my fault. Gaara... you mean so much to me and I don't want to hurt you, never," Naruto said.

"It wasn't your fault," Gaara said, his tone of voice hinting that he wished to end the particular conversation. Could it be that Naruto didn't expect anything from him? Or at least not those things he had assumed? The blond had looked so honest when he had spoken. Maybe he wouldn't have to be afraid of not being able to offer everything, at least not this instant.

"Are you mad at me?" Naruto asked suddenly. It was another thing that haunted him. What if Gaara was secretly angry at him and would dump him soon?

"No. If I were, I'd already left," Gaara said. There was Naruto again, worrying about things.

As an answer, a wide smile appeared on the tanned face and the blue of Naruto's eyes turned warmer and lighter. "Good."

The undefined expectations still bugged Gaara. The unsureness made him feel weak and cautious and he wanted to get rid of those feelings. After a long moment of hesitation if it would be suspicious to ask or not, he finally opened his mouth and spoke, "What do you want from me?"

"What do I want? Um... I just want to be with you and know that you're mine and that I'm yours. I don't know... It really doesn't matter what we do as long as we're together," Naruto answered, not sure how to phrase his thoughts. To him, relationships weren't about expectations, they were about commitment and devotion.

The answer somewhat relaxed Gaara, even though it saddened him that he couldn't be fully Naruto's. At that thought, his heart missed a beat as realization fully hit him. He'd still have to be with his brother, there would still be no escape from that part of reality. No matter what he felt for Naruto, it would change nothing, nothing at all. His feelings didn't matter, they had never mattered. Now that he thought about all this, it was very depressing.

Then, Gaara felt soft lips against his own, reminding him that at this precise moment, life was good. Naruto made his skin tingle and his heart beat faster. Did he love him? Would he dare to love him back, when he couldn't even be fully his? He had tried to protect himself so well, at first from any kind of acquaintance with the blond, then from friendship and today, he had tried to protect himself from both of their emotions. But every time, Naruto had managed to penetrate those walls he had tried to set up. There was something in Naruto, something that allowed him to let him this close. He still wasn't sure if it was love what he felt. What love even was? It was all so confusing...

"Goodnight," Naruto whispered sleepily. He curled up closer to Gaara, enjoying the warmness and safety, and what was most important, the closeness and human contact. He wasn't alone. In this dark, little house, where all the memories of the past still lived with him, he wasn't alone. Now there was Gaara and even though he knew they wouldn't be together like this every night, the knowledge that there was someone who cared for him was enough to comfort him. Before sleep overtook him, distant memories of his childhood in the orphanage popped into his mind, almost making him see nightmares but then, his hold on Gaara tightened and comforted him, dissolving the dark images.

In the darkness of the night Gaara kept on thinking, unable to sleep because of his insomnia. The long hours felt like forever but it was fine for him. He wished he wouldn't have to go home the next day. It would be wonderful if everything just mysteriously sorted out during the night, if he wouldn't have to go through certain things anymore. It was a foolish desire. It couldn't come true. That gave Gaara all the reason to stay awake and enjoy the sleeping Naruto's presence, until the dawn would come and separate them. He could always sleep at home. Now, all he wanted was to feel the blond next to him, hugging him in his sleep.

_**To be continued...**_

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**A/N: **_I drew a picture about this chapter (it's about Naruto and Gaara), see my profile for link._

_Hmm... I hope you won't wonder too much why Gaara's having problems with coming when he's with Naruto. It's not just a product of my imagination, those things really happen to people like Gaara._

_Naruto's character is finally deepening (the way I want), it wasn't possible until now. I hope that I succeed in describing Naruto as honest, patient and loving person because I really don't believe there are people like that in real life. Everyone has an ulterior motive. I know there are people like Kankuro and Gaara for sure but Naruto... well, no, not possible. Still, I try to write him to be a good, loving person, for as much as I dislike to admit it, I foolishy want to believe that somewhere in this world, there's a person like that._

_About the currency: I chose that they're using dollars, for I think dollars fit nicely in English. At first I thought they'd use euros but then I let it be. :P_

_I think that the song "Betty Blue" by The 69 Eyes describes Gaara's thoughts/feelings about Naruto in a way. :) Go and listen to that song (for example) in Youtube! :D_


	11. Double life

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, sexual harrassement, AU, **unbetaed**.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

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**A/N:** _Here's the chapter 11, FINALLY! Sorry it took so long!_

_Thank you so much for all the faves and alerts, and especially thanks for the reviews! Sorry I havent answered to them all._

_Special thanks to **Meioma from deviantArt**, who has once again brightened my day by drawing a lovely picture about this fanfic! ^_^ *hugs* The picture is called "**He's Always Watching..."** and it's about Kankuro and Gaara. See my profile for link._

_I thought I'd be faster writing this story but big things have happened in my life. I got depressed to the point that I even had some psychotic symptoms. Hell, I even felt my personality divide! I've been told that I have Schizotypal personality disorder. Well, I'm now on a loooong sick leave, regaining my mental health. I've used all my energy to repair myself, so I haven't had much time to continue this story. Now I'm feeling better, though._

_I drew two pictures about this chapter. See my profile for links._

_Oh, **this chapter is unbetaed** because my beta is very busy at the time.  
_

_

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_**Chapter 11: Double life**

The little confidence Gaara had managed to get around Naruto vanished in a second as he received a pointed stare from Kankuro. It was like those endless, black pools could see into his very soul, revealing the secrets he tried his best to keep in the dark.

Gaara closed the front door and it felt like the sharp click of the lock was echoing in the quiet house.

Dead silence fell over them and it felt like even the time itself had stopped. Gaara wondered what actually was real, for the time with Naruto seemed now like some distant, childlike dream. Right now, real were only the smothering silence, the blackness that was suffocating both the house and their minds, and last but not least, Kankuro's inquisitive attention that was uncomfortably directed at him.

"You look tired, Gaara," Kankuro spoke calmly, his stare still remaining on the wary-looking redhead.

Gaara almost started at the words for he had not expected the silence to be broken. He wondered if his brother was actually capable of reading minds, for it sure felt like his own thoughts weren't safe in his head anymore. He was afraid that Kankuro would somehow know about him and Naruto just by looking at him. Was that why Kankuro was looking at him like that? Did he actually _know_? Realizing he was once again caught in his paranoia, Gaara tried to relax and faced his brother once more. When he looked more carefully, Kankuro didn't look so intimidating anymore but rather tired, as if he had been awake all night, too.

"Do you want some coffee?"

At the mention of the black extract, Gaara's eyes lighted up. The faint, familiar aroma that floated into his nose right then and the half-smile on his brother's face were enough encouragement for him to follow Kankuro into the kitchen. He hadn't had his morning coffee yet, for unlike himself, Naruto wasn't a coffee lover. The blond didn't actually even own a coffee maker of any kind. During the time Gaara had lived alone with his brother, they had both became caffeine addicts of some sort. One time, when there had been only a few coins left of their monthly income, they had both consensually decided to buy coffee instead of food.

All the positive feelings that Gaara associated with coffee made him relax and lower his guard down, so he wasn't prepared for one sudden question.

"Did you have good time?"

Kankuro was leaning on the doorframe, blocking the way and once again staring at his little brother with those piercing eyes of his.

"Yeah," Gaara answered automatically, instantly hoping that his reply hadn't been too quick. The thought of Kankuro being able to read his mind came back to him but he pushed it away, appealing to his rational side and telling himself that telepathy was impossible.

Kankuro lowered his gaze and took a sip of his coffee, the marks of tiredness and sleepless nights slowly fading away from his face. The both of the brothers drifted off into their thoughts and the only sound disturbing the silence was the lazy ticking of the kitchen clock. Kankuro poured some more coffee to himself and drank it peacefully, thinking.

He had noticed every little gesture Gaara had made, even those that the redhead had probably thought would go unnoticed. Gaara was so easy to read that it almost made him laugh. Oh, how he wanted to say that he _knew_ what had happened last night! He wanted to shout out loud that he had _seen_ with his very eyes how Gaara had rubbed and touched the disgusting blond, all the way to the point of Naruto's body going rigid until going limp again. He had seen it all, and it had broken his heart. He wanted to take his hurt and disappointment out on something but he couldn't, so he just kept the feelings bottled up inside. There was time for actions and time for biding one's time, and now was certainly the latter case.

"Well that's good," Kankuro finally said after a long silence, his black eyes back on Gaara again. Now the coffee was drunk and all there was left was a bitter aftertaste.

Gaara didn't say a word but stayed silent. Once again he was uncomfortable because the evaluating stare was back on him and this time he almost swore Kankuro could see the very depths of his soul. There was a knowing glint in the blackness of his brother's eyes but there was no way Kankuro would know anything. That would be impossible.

* * *

Only the soft clipping of scissors was heard in the kitchen as Gaara was cutting Naruto's hair. For a good two years now, he had been cutting both his own and his brother's hair. It was easy and creative and he liked it a lot.

They had been together now for about two weeks. It felt still so unreal, like he was in a dream. A dream from which he didn't want to wake up, a dream he feared would turn into a nightmare. They hadn't gone further than kissing, mostly because Naruto had insisted that they shouldn't move on too fast. For Gaara it was okay but under the surface, he constantly kept on worrying if he was good enough. He feared that Naruto would get tired because of their slow pace, no matter how many times the blond had told him that being together was all that mattered, not what they did or didn't do. Still, the doubt wouldn't leave Gaara's heart and he secretly feared for the day when this dream would end.

What he was happy about was that he had managed to keep everything in secret from his brother and he had even succeeded in convincing Kankuro that it wouldn't harm his studying if he spent one night per week at Naruto's place. Double life wasn't all that easy, though, for it had proven hard to keep secrets from both Naruto and Kankuro. Especially after those times he'd been with his brother, it had been really difficult to be around Naruto, pretending like nothing was going on at home behind the closed doors. In public, he and Naruto never showed their feelings or any tokens of affection. They had both agreed to act the neutral way because no matter how open minded and modern their society was claimed to be, most people still didn't have warm feelings for minorities like homosexuals. And partly, they avoided getting attention thanks to Gaara's secret paranoia of Kankuro finding out about them.

Kiba, that Naruto's jerk of a friend, had suddenly apologized Naruto for their fights and had suggested that they should be friends again. As a cheerful and social person, the blond had of course accepted the apology and after that, Naruto had hung around with Kiba at school and sometimes in freetime, too. Kiba had even agreed to be with Naruto when Gaara was around and a few times, the three of them had eaten lunch together. As Gaara had expected, the brown haired boy never talked to him but directed his attention only to Naruto. Still, every now and then Kiba had given him smirks and not so friendly glances, his dark eyes glinting in a way Gaara wasn't too fond of. All this wasn't really meaningful to Gaara but just because the renewed friendship seemed to make Naruto happier, he was ready to see Kiba in a bit more positive light.

A few days ago, Kankuro had had a slight episode and Gaara had found him in the bathroom, arms bloody and shaking. The old, familiar guilt had shined in the brunette's eyes, silently apologizing for everything that had happened in their broken home. Gaara had reminded Kankuro again that slashing wasn't a solution but the brunette had just mumbled in a trembling voice something along the lines that he deserved it. The encounter had been nothing too serious, for Gaara had managed to resolve the situation by talking whereas Kankuro's wounds had only needed bandaging. It reminded him that his brother needed help but whenever he tried to voice out his concern, the conversation was quickly ended by Kankuro.

For the most of the time, Kankuro seemed to be calm and collected but Gaara could sense that under the surface, his brother kept on fighting some internal battle. Sometimes it was hard even for him to read his brother, for it was like Kankuro had many layers on him, hiding and disguising what he didn't want anyone to see. Gaara wished he could somehow help but every time he tried to approach his brother in a moment of unstability—no matter how much Kankuro tried to hide his weakness—his brother seemed to force on a mask, once again hiding everything.

And somewhere along the way, Gaara had turned 17. It was now the end of January, the coldest period of the winter. Occasionally, he teased Naruto for still being 16, because the blond's birthday wasn't until October. Time flew fast. Ever since he was 14 and the abuse had started, he had kept on waiting for his 18th birthday, for then he would be an adult and no one could tell him what to do. He was quite confident that then, his brother would let him go. All he needed was to wait just another year...

"I hope you're content with the outcome," Gaara said as he finished cutting. Every time he had a chance to cut hair his thoughts got loose, just like this time. But some things wouldn't get any better no matter how much you thought about them.

Naruto got up from the chair and stepped to stand in front of a mirror. He turned his head from side to side, evaluating the outcome. Then a wide grin appeared to his face and he turned to Gaara, giving a thumbs up. "It's great! I think you should become a barber or something!"

The corners of Gaara's mouth curved slightly at the encouraging words. Naruto always managed to increase his self-confidence just by little words like that. The whole way Naruto treated him made him feel appreciated and loved. Any other person could've taken it as given but Gaara, who wasn't used to the fact that his opinions and feelings really mattered, noticed the difference immediately.

* * *

"Don't I look great now?" Naruto asked as he stood in front of a mirror, smiling at his reflection.

He was wearing a tight orange T-shirt and black jeans, bringing out his slim body. There were a couple of chains hanging from the loops of his jeans to increase the punkish outlook. The reason why he was dressed in such a way was that Kiba had asked him to go to a party with him in order to celebrate their renewed friendship, with an addition that they would be going without Gaara. At first Naruto had opposed, telling that Gaara would be hurt if he wasn't even asked to join them. With a sharp look in his eyes, Kiba had snapped that then it would be better if Gaara wouldn't know in the first place. In the end, Naruto had agreed but the guilt of keeping even a little thing from Gaara still plagued him. Looking at his own reflection and forcing a smile onto his face, Naruto tried to dissolve the guilt and turned to see his friend.

"You bet," Kiba answered as he looked at the blond with an animalistic glint in his eyes. He was more than glad that the annoying redhead wasn't around this time. In his opinion, there was no need to inform the freak about anything anyway, because very soon the redhead would learn that Naruto wanted to rather hang around with him, Kiba.

"Let's go then," Naruto said, smiling.

In no time they were at the party, talking with Shikamaru and Neji. Everyone was in such a happy mood but under the surface, Naruto felt guilty for having ignored his other friends for so long. To tell the truth, he had let Gaara consume all his freetime because really, he didn't feel like being with anyone else. The friends' chat was soon over as Neji excused himself to spend more time with his girlfriend and as Shikamaru left too, to hit on some pretty boys—or girls, since he liked both.

"Here, take a beer," Kiba said, offering a can to Naruto.

"I don't know. I've never really drank anything like that before," Naruto replied, eyeing the can of beer suspiciously.

"Come on! Everyone else is drinking, too. You'll look weird if you don't. Or are you telling me that you're a sissy who doesn't have the courage?" Kiba asked, an animalistic grin once again on his lips. He could see the internal battle Naruto was having and as he had expected, the blond soon snapped the can out of his hand.

"I'm not a sissy!" Naruto exclaimed and sipped the beer. He didn't want to stand out from the crowd now, when all his life he'd desperately tried to blend in.

"Of course you're not," Kiba said and took a gulp of his own drink. He didn't like the taste of alcohol at all but in these kind of situations, he drank a little just to give a carefree and cool impression.

After few cans, Naruto was feeling a bit tipsy. "Kiba, I feel different now. It's like I'm very relaxed or something," he informed his friend, who looked at him amusedly.

"Alcohol does that to you. Here, take another one," Kiba offered, draping a new can towards the blond.

"But I don't know if I should drink anymore. What if something happens?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes not sharp anymore but hazy because of the liquor.

"Nothing will happen. I'll take care of you," Kiba assured and grinned again, his narrow eyes reminding Naruto a bit of a hungry wolf.

"Okay," Naruto replied happily, smiling warmly to his trusted friend.

* * *

"I'm going to the party now. Are you sure you don't want to come?" Kankuro asked even though he already knew the answer.

"No. I don't care about things like that," Gaara replied stoically. "Besides, I have a lot of homework to do."

"Whatever you say. Bye now," Kankuro said, feeling that he at least needed to get out of the oppressing house they inhabited. He didn't care about parties either but he needed to go, so that his image of a social and normal person would stay in the minds of other people.

At the party, Kankuro was sitting on a couch in the corner, talking with his so-called friends and looking as people made fools of themselves. A clearly drunk, pink haired girl was clinging onto his arm, trying to get his attention yet she only managed to annoy him. He knew her, she came quite often to the cafИ with her annoying, giggling friends. The girl was probably one of those silly teenagers who actually thought he liked them, just because he smiled at them and occasionally flirted with them, only in order to increase the cafИ's sales profit. God how he hated his job sometimes.

He was already bored to no end until a mop of blond hair caught his attention. He saw a brown haired guy dragging Naruto to the upstairs and judging by the blondie's wobbly legs, he wasn't sober. _Stupid_, Kankuro thought and excused himself.

Silently like a cat, Kankuro followed them and climbed up the stairs, entering a hallway which lead to many rooms. One door was ajar and making sure that no one saw him, he peeked inside. The blondie was lying on the bed while the other guy was hovering over him, not letting Naruto to get up. _Stupid blondie_, Kankuro thought, remaining in his stance.

"What are you doing Kiba?" Naruto asked, not fully registering everything what was happening.

"I'm going to make you forget that freak," Kiba murmured quietly and lightly traced his hand along Naruto's body. In this state, the blond would be an easy prey.

"What?" Naruto asked, not hearing what his friend had said. He tried to get up but was pushed down onto the bed again.

"I said that I'll make you feel good," Kiba now said in a gently voice, pulling up the orange shirt. Naruto's confused expression only deepened and then Kiba knew that the blond was too baffled to stop him. Smiling more warmly now, Kiba started to uzip Naruto's jeans. He had waited for this so long that he could barely contain himself. After tonight, Naruto would be his and the red haired freak would be forgotten. It wasn't fair that Naruto never smiled to him like he smiled to the weird redhead. After all, he had been Naruto's friend way longer than the annoying freak.

For about a year now, Kiba had tried to give hints to Naruto about his warm feelings. However, the blond was so dense he never seemed to notice and that had gotten Kiba very frustrated. He wasn't a man of sentimental words or romantic confessions so he had approached Naruto in other ways, like buying him presents and sitting close to him at classes. When those means hadn't worked, he had even held Naruto's hand while they were walking but to no avail. For Naruto, it had clearly been just a gesture of friendship.

And then had come the red haired loner who had quickly gotten Naruto's attention, the attention that Kiba thought belonged rightfully to only himself. It made him sick of jealousy whenever he saw the two together. What had the freak ever done to deserve someone like Naruto? Nothing, in Kiba's opinion. He had thought of teaching a lesson to the redhead but had given up the idea, knowing that Naruto would only be mad at him. For surely, the blond would be babying the freaky redhead after something like that, giving him even more attention, and that was something Kiba wanted to avoid. The bitter thoughts made Kiba even more annoyed and hurt and he yanked Naruto's jeans lower a bit too forcefully, not really meaning to be so rough.

"Stop," Naruto snapped as he blurrily realized what Kiba was doing. As his friend gripped his limp member, his drunkenness cleared a bit, thanks to his shock over the situation. He tried to get up again but it was in vain. "Kiba, no," Naruto managed but the only answer he got was a hungry smirk which didn't quite match the lonely desperation clearly reflecting from his friend's eyes.

"If I were you, I'd leave him alone," came a voice from the doorway. There stood a livid Kankuro, staring daggers at the brown haired boy.

"Who the hell are you? Can't you see we're busy!?" Kiba barked, angry that they'd been caught like this. However, he quickly pulled his hands away from Naruto and jumped off of the bed.

"Kankuro?" Naruto asked, now even more surprised. What was Gaara's brother doing in here?

"Leave," Kankuro growled, taking a step closer to the brown haired guy. He was disgusted. Why did he see things like this everywhere he went? Why couldn't he have even one carefree evening in his life without being reminded about the dark and greedy side of human nature?

"Make me. And who are you to interrupt us, anyway?" Kiba replied defensively, as he, too, stepped closer.

"Leave now or I'm going to tell the host of this party that you were going to rape one of the guests!" Kankuro almost shouted, clenching his fists. He had had enough of this already, and all he wanted to do was get out of the situation.

That got Kiba serious and his face visibly paled as his anger was replaced by fear. Without another word, he quickly left to the door like a dog who had his tail between his legs. There, he glanced one more time to the blond still lying on the bed. He hadn't meant to hurt Naruto but if the blond had noticed his feelings, he wouldn't have had to force himself on him. An angry look from the older man got him back to reality again and quietly but quickly, he left the room.

"Now get your clothes properly on so that we can leave," Kankuro snapped at the blondie who was staring at him with blurry eyes.

"O-oh!" Naruto said, pulling down his shirt and making sure that his jeans weren't unzipped anymore. Now that his drunkenness was slowly fading away, there was room for embarrassement. He was more than ashamed that Kankuro had seen him defenseless, almost shirtless, and with another guy groping him against his own will.

"Come on, I'll drive you home," Kankuro said, not bothering to be friendly. He was annoyed that Naruto had caused him extra worry with his thoughtlessness.

Naruto followed Gaara's brother as they left the party, not seeing even a trace of Kiba on their way. It hurt him that his friend—and Kiba of all people—had taken advantage of him in such a horrible way.

"Now get in," Kankuro said and held the car door open for Naruto. As soon as the blondie was in, he slammed the door shut with unnecessary force. He knew he had no real reason to take his anger out on Naruto but seeing those things happen only reminded him of all the things he would rather forget. Out of habit, he glanced around the dark yard and on the border, he saw a suspicious looking man lurking in the shadows. Brow furrowing, he went closer and familiar anger rose in him again as he regocnized the long, blond haired male.

Naruto looked out of the car window and saw Kankuro talking to a man he had never seen before. He at first took the encounter as friends' chat but as he distantly heard Kankuro shouting something, he thought otherwise. As the long haired stranger only smirked in reply, Naruto saw the brunette grip his front in a threatening manner. That seemed to get the strange man serious and after that, the intruder left.

"You stay away from that man," was all Kankuro said as he got to the driver's seat, starting the car and pulling off from the yard. To Naruto, the brunette looked suddenly much more tired than before, and there were almost unnoticable lines under his eyes, reminding Naruto of a person with lots of worries.

"Okay... but who was he anyway?" Naruto asked, his drunkenness fading away minute by minute.

"It doesn't matter," Kankuro said sternly, ending the conversation about the topic. He concentrated on driving, enjoying the moment of silence and peace. Naruto's earlier stupidness annoyed him, yet he couldn't fully blame the blondie. He knew how naОve the blond was but it didn't stop him from being sore. "Who was that boy?"

"He's Kiba, my friend. Or should I say, my ex-friend," Naruto replied, looking sadly at his lap. He had had no idea that Kiba harboured such feelings for him but now that he knew, it explained quite a bit of his ex-friend's behavior towards Gaara. A silence fell upon them again and to Naruto, it felt awkward. He was just about to open his mouth when Kankuro suddenly spoke.

"You do realize how stupid it is to get drunk at a party like that?" Kankuro said, keeping his eyes on the road. Who knew what would've happened if he hadn't been there to save the blondie? He was so tired of all this, exhausted.

"I'm sorry," Naruto said, a blush of embarrassement coming to his cheeks. "I mean... thanks for everything."

Kankuro didn't answer, for he didn't need or want the blondie's gratitude. Even though he disliked Naruto and wanted him out of Gaara's life, there was no reason to let the blondie get scarred for life just because some brown haired boy couldn't control his urges. After a few minutes of silent driving, they arrived at their neighbourhood. Kankuro parked on Naruto's front yard and stalled the car.

"Did you tell Gaara that you were going there?" Kankuro asked, turning to look at the blondie.

"No," Naruto confessed, already feeling guilty that he hadn't.

"Good. And you shouldn't tell him, okay? There's no need to worry him with your thoughtlessness because in the end, nothing really happened, right?" Kankuro assured and for the first time, he looked friendly at Naruto.

"Okay," Naruto said, even though he didn't totally agree.

It was dark outside but in the car, lights were on. Kankuro turned away, looking at his reflection from the windshield. He let out a sigh and faced the blondie again, this time with a softer expression than before. "Look, I'm sorry what happened earlier between us," Kankuro said, sounding almost guilty.

"Huh?" Naruto exclaimed, dumbfounded at the confession. He blushed as he remembered what had happened back then. The sincere sorryness in the black eyes made something tighten in his chest and he nodded, feeling that Gaara's brother was probably a good and nice person, after all. Everyone made mistakes, didn't they? "It's okay," Naruto said, giving the brunette a small, warm smile.

Kankuro only replied with a smile of his own which wasn't so warm but rather a smirk, but to Naruto it was a gesture of friendliness anyway. "Look, Naruto," Kankuro started in a gentle voice, his black eyes friendly once again. "Please don't tell Gaara that we talked, don't even tell him I gave you a ride home, okay? He doesn't appreciate you being near me after 'that incident', even though you now know how much I regret it," Kankuro said with a pleading expression. After a brief silence, he continued. "He would only be mad at me, even though I only have the best of intensions," Kankuro finally said in a depressed voice, his eyes cast downwards.

"I won't tell him," Naruto was quick to assure, not wanting to see Kankuro so dispirited.

"Good," Kankuro replied quietly, staring out of the windshield.

The silence fell again and Naruto took it as a sign of the end of their conversation. Just when he was about to leave, all the doors locked, thanks to the central locking system. A bit scared, he turned to look at Kankuro who didn't look so friendly anymore.

"Kankuro?" Naruto said, not sure if he should be afraid or not. Just a moment ago, the brunette had been so nice but now, his expression made chills run down on Naruto's spine.

A smirk appearead on Kankuro's face at the blondie's reaction. The boy was surely amusing and if it had fit to his plans, he would've certainly played with him a little longer. Now though, he had other things to do and so the smirk vanished, leaving a serious look on Kankuro's face.

"Naruto," he said in order to get the blondie's full attention. "I don't know what your relationship with Gaara is but if you hurt him, I'll never forgive you," Kankuro said, dead serious, as his black eyes were boring holes into Naruto.

"I would never!" Naruto exclaimed, shocked that someone even thought of the possibility.

"You better not," Kankuro replied and unlocked the doors, knowing his job here was already done. He amusedly watched as the blondie hurried out of the car, thanked him for the ride and then stumbled into the house. As he was now alone, Kankuro let the smirk appear on his face again, letting out a self-assured laugh. Pulling off from Naruto's yard, he drove home, still smiling to himself.

* * *

"How was it at the party?" Gaara asked, even though he wasn't really interested.

"It was okay," Kankuro replied and opened the refrigerator door. He took a bottle and as if he'd just remembered an important thing, he casually said, "I saw the blondie there."

"Naruto?" Gaara asked, now more interested than ever.

"Yeah. He was there with some brown haired guy who had weird tattoos on his cheeks," Kankuro explained, taking a gulp of the cool drink. As he felt Gaara's eyes on him, impatiently waiting for him to continue, he knew his time had come.

"The blondie was all over that guy, you should've seen them! At some point during the night they went to get a room so I don't know what happened after that," Kankuro lied casually, trying not to smirk as he saw the look on Gaara's face.

"Hn," was all Gaara said, careful at not giving out how close he and Naruto nowadays were. He shouldn't act too interested, that would reveal everything! After all, he was sure that his brother had the impression that they were only friends. His first reaction was to deny what he'd heard—there was no way Naruto would do anything like that.

After the moment of confidence, doubt crept into his mind and he started to hesitate. What if it was true? No, it couldn't be! But what if Naruto really was bored with him, seeking out for Kiba because of that? But Naruto had said he loved him. That wasn't a lie, it couldn't be. Naruto had always been patient with him, he had told him they didn't need to hurry. Then again, Kankuro was always so impatient, what if Naruto was secretly, too? Would Naruto really do something like that behind his back?

Kankuro's hidden smirk vanished at the indifferent reply. Taking another gulp of the drink, he put the bottle aside and stepped a bit closer to Gaara. "It makes me wonder why _you_ weren't there with him, since you two seem to get along so well these days," Kankuro said provokingly.

Gaara only glared at him, honestly not knowing what to answer. Naruto hadn't asked him... He hadn't even known that the blond was going anywhere, not to mention with Kiba. _But it's not my business, anyway,_ Gaara thought to himself, trying not to make any hasty conclusions. He and Naruto were together, Naruto wouldn't mess around with Kiba.

"Or maybe he didn't even tell you?" Kankuro said, his smirk melting into a vile grin. "Maybe he wanted to go without you."

"What does it matter?" Gaara asked, growing irritated because of his brother's suggestions and his own uncertainty.

"It just proves that I am right, that I've always been. How many times have I told you that you can't trust anyone except me?" Kankuro asked, his tone of voice turning from casual to irritated. He hadn't forgotten the hug he'd witnessed, not to mention what he'd seen them do in Naruto's house. For two weeks now, he had kept on acting like he didn't suspect a thing. It was pretty tiring and did no good for his mental balance.

"I can trust Temari... and Naruto," Gaara replied but didn't sound as confident as he wanted to.

"You can't trust her, you know what she's like," Kankuro replied isntantly, until his eyes narrowed and he stepped closer to Gaara. "Have you talked to her?"

"N-No!" Gaara said quickly, taking a few steps back until his back met with the kitchen sink.

"You better not," Kankuro said threateningly. He didn't like the idea of Temari getting wind of their... secret. Shaking off the unpleasant thought, he directed his attention back to Gaara again. "You can't trust the blondie, either. Weren't you hugging him back then?" he asked, leaning closer to the redhead.

Jade eyes widened, revealing Gaara's uneasiness over the topic. He feverishly tried to think of another topic, just to distract his brother from thinking too deeply of that hug. But before he could say anything, the brunette was already talking.

"So it makes me wonder why he was now all over that other guy. Don't you think so, too?" Kankuro asked, placing his hands on either side of Gaara, trapping the redhead between himself and the sink.

"I trust Naruto," Gaara said confidently, trying to keep the hesitation out of his mind. He couldn't lose his trust, he just couldn't. Desperately, he denied what his brother had said, hoping that there would be some logical explanation that would prove Naruto innocent.

"You're still so naîve, Gaara," Kankuro whispered, staring down at the redhead. "You trusted Yashamaru, didn't you? And now look what he would have done to you, if it hadn't been me stopping him. You trusted Temari, too but where is she now? When has she called you last time?" Kankuro asked and seeing Gaara's face, he let out a bitter laugh. "That's what I thought. And Naruto... Do you have any proof that he's worthy of your trust?"

Gaara didn't know how to answer. Proof? He had Naruto's words. Naruto cared about him. Didn't that mean anything?

"I have proof that he's _not_ worthy of your trust. I saw them, everybody did! Or if you don't believe me, why don't you just ask Naruto? Or that brown haired guy, hm?" Kankuro went on, desperately wanting to crumble the redhead's trust on the annoying blondie.

"Don't be stupid," Gaara said. Asking Kiba about this was the last thing he'd do. Asking Naruto was out of question, too, because what if it all was true? Would he stand hearing the confession from Naruto, who was now his boyfriend?

"I'm not the stupid one but you," Kankuro snapped, irritated that it was so hard to make Gaara believe in his lies. It had been so much easier before... "Why can't you see that I'm on your side, that I'm only protecting you from getting hurt—again? Look, if I didn't care, I wouldn't have told you and I would've let you find out everything on your own. I thought you already knew that I am the only person who's truly cared about you and your well-being, haven't I proved that many times already? I'm the only one you can trust because I've never betrayed you and I never will. I _love_ you, Gaara," Kankuro spoke heatedly, desperatedly, looking straight into the glistening jade orbs.

Before Gaara had even a chance to reply, hands found their way into his hair and right after, he was being kissed. It was a desperate kiss, unexpected, full of need and tension. Gaara turned his head away, escaping the kiss—he didn't want this, he couldn't. This was wrong.

"He doesn't deserve you. I do! I'd die for you," Kankuro whispered, making Gaara face him again and then continued the interrupted kiss.

"No..." Gaara managed to say, breaking the kiss again. It didn't feel the same as with Naruto, it felt impure. "I have to go and think," he said quickly, pushing his brother away and leaving the kitchen.

* * *

The little lamp on the bedside table cast threatening shadows on the walls, leaving some paintings in the dark while emphasizing the others. The grotesque pictures were grimacing down on him, like they were laughing at his pitifulness.

Gaara hugged his knees tighter, thinking about the recent conversation. He had come to a conclusion that it didn't matter whether Kankuro had told the truth or not. He really hadn't the right to complain or feel hurt if Naruto cheated on him, for wasn't he just doing the exact same with his own brother?

Disgusted, Gaara gripped his hair, letting out a frustrated growl. He was cheating on Naruto this whole time... Naruto trusted him and was patient with him, yet behind the blond's back he was with his brother, no matter if he was willing to do it or not. He was sure that Naruto would never look at him again if the blond found out about the truth. So no, he really had no right to feel hurt. Still, he felt so bad he could almost vomit.

* * *

"Ah... Kankuro."

Gaara had tried his everything to get rid of the haunting thoughts—he had painted, finished his homework, cleaned his room, listened to music, stared at the ceiling and even tried to sleep but nothing had eased him. In the end he had come to the livingroom where Kankuro had been sitting on the couch, channel surfing.

"Oh, Gaara... I'm about to—"

He had sat down on the couch, finding his brother's silent company oddly calming. Seeking for comfort, he had leaned against Kankuro, hoping that the contact would ease his anxiousness. They had sat like that for a long time, watching random shows and filling the quiet of the house with the meaningless TV noise. Gently, Kankuro had smoothed his hair as if understanding his pain. It had felt so good and comforting. At some point Kankuro had turned off the TV, leaving them sitting in silence until he had lied down on the couch, ignoring the redhead and staring at the ceiling like he was deep in thought.

Wanting more of the pleasant comforting, Gaara had moved to lay on top of Kankuro to get his full attention, letting his brother caress his back in a gentle manner. It had felt like Kankuro understood him and listened to him, even though he didn't speak with words but with silence. His brother's scent had given him a sense of safety, relaxing him until he hadn't noticed or cared when one hand had slid under his shirt and then after a while, lower...

"Haah... I'm so close, Gaara!"

And now he was naked, sitting on his brother's lap, moving up and down. Kankuro was holding his hips, guiding him and looking at him with his black, lusty eyes. Gaara let out a moan, his grip on Kankuro's sweaty shoulders tightening. This felt good, this had to! It was so much easier to bear this when he thought how pleasurable this was. He didn't want to think about Naruto, yet he still thought and at that moment, he had to close his eyes so that he wouldn't cry.

"Haah!" Kankuro almost shouted, pushing Gaara down as he came. As soon as his grip loosened, Gaara got up and with wobbly legs, ran into the bathroom.

The first thing Gaara did was vomit into the toilet. He felt so bad, so sick! Why had he let it happen again? Was he now cheating Naruto purposely, because he hadn't opposed but submitted like a soulless doll? He was shaking as he wiped his mouth and managed to get into the shower to clean himself. As soon as the shower was on, he collapsed onto the floor, still shaking, letting the warm water wet him.

"Gaara are you alright?" Kankuro asked even though he knew that his little brother was everything but alright. Hurriedly, he kneeled beside the trembling redhead and instantly pulled him into a hug and held him, letting both of them calm down a bit. He was worried at seeing his beloved little brother like this and he had a nagging fear that this was all his fault.

But what could he do to his own feelings, his need of loving Gaara like this? This far, he had lived in a self-imposed illusion that their relationship would last forever but now as he held the shocked redhead, reality was sinking in. Pushing his own fear and shock away, Kankuro braced himself to act like an adult. After all, he had always had to be an adult—or at least very mature—for Gaara's sake. He had never really had a chance to be a child, and without bitterness he thought that for Gaara's sake, he was always ready to sacrifice himself.

"Kankuro... I d-don't feel good," Gaara managed to say, trying to suppress a retch.

"It's alright, calm down. You have to stop hanging around with him, look what he's doing to you," Kankuro said, caressing the wet, pale skin. It felt unfair to make it look like this was all Naruto's fault but if it made Gaara leave him, then it was worth trying.

"H-He doesn't make me s-sick," Gaara stuttered, his sickness not easing at all. "This has to e-end, now." It was hard to speak, especially those words.

A coldness filled Kankuro, coldness that was akin to fear. "Shh, you're shocked right now, okay? It's normal to be confused at a moment like this. Everything will be alright after you calm down, I promise," Kankuro spoke gently, giving Gaara an assuring squeeze. After that the redhead stayed quiet and Kankuro let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

The rest of the evening Kankuro took good care of Gaara, making him supper and talking gently to him. He had supressed the uncomfortable, fear-like feeling, assuring himself that Gaara wasn't going to abandon him. That just couldn't happen. They were now sitting on the couch again and Gaara was holding a cup of hot cocoa in his hands while Kankuro was trying to entwine a blanket around his little brother.

"Are you feeling any better?" Kankuro asked, worry clear in his eyes.

Gaara stayed silent, looking at the steaming cup in front of him. After a moment, he found his voice. "I... I don't think we should do it, anymore."

"What do you mean, Gaara? Everything's alright now, you don't need to think things like that," Kankuro tried, avoiding the actual subject. The look in the jade eyes comfirmed his fears and suddenly, everything felt so dark and hopeless.

"Gaara, you have no idea how black my world is. You're the only light I see. And... and showing my love to you reminds me that I'm capable of being a good person, that I'm not thoroughly rotten. When you're near me I feel like there's at least some hope for me," Kankuro spoke in a quiet and unsteady voice. He wasn't looking at Gaara anymore but at some invisible spot in the distance, biting his finger nails.

"You're not rotten," Gaara corrected, sipping the warm drink. "I just meant that maybe we could stop doing it. We could do other things instead," he continued, feeling the tension rise in the room.

"You don't get it, Gaara! You mean everything to me! Without you, there's no reason for me to live! If you break the bond between us, you'll leave me alone in the darkness. Do you really want that?" Kankuro exclaimed almost hysterically, his eyes reddening. He never cried, and Gaara had learned from him that it was how men were supposed to act.

"No," Gaara cringed, worried about the sudden turn of conversation. On the other hand, he didn't want to see his brother anguished like that. Then again, he felt really bad about their secret doings. Buying more time to think, he drank a bit of the cocoa. From the corner of his eye, he could see his brother still biting his finger nails, a thing the brunette rarely did unless he was distressed. "But we could make a compromise," Gaara then suggested carefully.

"A compromise? You still don't get it! I _need_ you, how can you compromise that?" Kankuro yelled desperatedly, his eyes now even more red than before.

"Maybe... maybe we just shouldn't... so often?" Gaara suggested quietly, putting the now empty cup onto the coffee table.

Slowly, Kankuro turned to look at Gaara, his expression full of suspicion. "Why?" he asked quietly, almost hissing. Then his eyes narrowed. "Is it because of Naruto? Is there something going on that I don't know about?" Kankuro asked, acting like he really didn't know about anything.

Gaara gritted his teeth, not liking the sudden turn of conversation. He had just wanted to stop all this and when it hadn't worked, he'd tried to compromise and now, he feared that his brother would find out about him and Naruto. "There's nothing going on," he then said, willing his voice to stay steady even though it cracked a bit in the end.

Kankuro stared at the serious pale face. So that was what his little brother looked like when he lied to him. There was a sting in his heart but he pushed the ache away into the depths of his mind, to there where all his other pains were carefully locked up. "Then there's no reason to change anything," Kankuro concluded and when Gaara didn't reply, he took it as a sign of agreement and left the room.

In his own room, Kankuro turned on the stereos. He didn't remember what CD was in, so he chose the track randomly, hoping it was something calming. When the music started, he lied down onto the bed and closed his eyes. What a day had it been...

Soundly, the mattress sank as another person came to lay next to him. It wasn't a surprise, for Kankuro had learned that Gaara often had this need of making sure that things were settled.

"You wouldn't have needed to come," Kankuro said. "Everything is alright."

"No it isn't," Gaara whispered and wrapped his arm around the brunette. He didn't want Kankuro to be angry at him. He didn't want his brother to hate him, to abandon him...

Without answering, Kankuro let out a deep breath and listened to the singer.

_"Come into my life  
Regress into a dream  
We will hide  
And build a new reality"_

Oh how he wanted to hide, hide himself and his past. Maybe then all the things he'd done wouldn't be so wrong, wouldn't be so terrifying. And how it would feel purifying to start a new life! But he couldn't, it was just impossible. There were no second chances for people like him.

"Kankuro?" Gaara mumbled. He had lied his head against his brother's chest, listening to the steady heartbeat.

"It's okay," Kankuro whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be. It was me who collapsed," Gaara said quietly. Maybe the fight was really his fault, anyway. Everything would've been okay if he hadn't run into the bathroom. Now that he thought back the incident, it felt embarrassing.

"I... I love you, no matter what," Gaara whispered, closing his eyes. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to confess the feelings that his brother already knew. Maybe it was because of his own insecurity, or the loneliness that filled his soul whenever Kankuro left him alone after a fight.

"Why?" Kankuro asked so quietly that the voice didn't reach the redhead's ears. He didn't deserve that kind of love, not from Gaara. He was a monster who should be unloved, not treated like a real person.

_"And I've had recurring nightmares  
That I was loved for who I am  
And missed the opportunity  
To be a better man."_

The song ended but Kankuro let out a bitter laugh. Would he be a better person if Gaara hated him? If Gaara really hated him, would he strive more than now to earn his brother's love? On some level, he could understand why his little brother was now glued to him, not wanting to let go, when in reality Gaara should yell at him and hate him for what he had done, again.

Kankuro closed his eyes and hoped that when he'd open them the next time, this all would've just been a horrible nightmare. It was an impossible wish, he knew it, but he dreamed so nevertheless. In his dreams he was the perfect big brother he'd always wanted to be for Gaara, instead of being this twisted, sick and unstable monster he in reality was.

He knew it was his fault that Gaara had that guilt inside of him, that shame of submitting to his older brother's twisted kinks. He himself had planted that guilt inside of the redhead, so that after all their fights, Gaara would come crawling back to him, obedient and hungry for love and peace. Even now, the redhead was glued to him, waiting for him to smile again and act like a normal brother, to mark that their recent fight was already forgotten.

Nevertheless of all this, Gaara still loved him. Oh how that knowledge hurt Kankuro, for he knew he didn't deserve any of that. He wondered which one would hurt him more, Gaara's hate or Gaara's love. Which one would hurt more—hate deserved or love not deserved?

* * *

Sunday came, offering a lot of empty time to mull over things Gaara rather didn't think about. At school on Monday, Naruto was like always even though Gaara could sense that something was bothering the blond. He ignored it, not wanting to give room to his fears and the worst case scenarios he'd come up with. Tuesday came, then Wednesday and Thursday, and on each day Gaara refused to be with Naruto after school. For excuse he had mumbled something about a big pile of homework waiting for him at home. In reality, he was afraid that if they were alone, Naruto would find the courage to tell him that their dream was over.

Now it was Friday and they were walking home from school, again.

"Let's hang around today, what do you think?" Naruto suggested, flashing a friendly smile at the redhead in order to hide his insecurity. He feared that Gaara would reject him again for no actual reason. He couldn't understand why the redhead was suddenly so distant. All kind of suspicions bubbled inside of Naruto, starting from Gaara abandoning him but he did his best to hide them under his sunny optimism.

"No. I have a lot of homework to do," Gaara said his now customary answer. What if Naruto was going to some party with Kiba again this weekend and wanted to dump him before that, so that the blond could flirt with the brunette without bad conscience?

Despite his firm refusal, later on that day the ever happy blond was standing at his door, smiling warmly at him.

"I thought I'd stop by," Naruto told as he walked in. As he met the redhead's impassive stare, his grin widened and he said friendly, "I know you missed me too."

Almost unnoticably, the corners of Gaara's mouth curved up. Now that the blond was here, it felt like the whole house was more lighter and warmer. The sheer friendliness radiating from Naruto eased him and almost hopefully, he thought that maybe all this time, he had worried in vain.

"I have something to show you," was all Gaara said as he decided to lead Naruto into the underground cellar. Up until now, he had kept the blond oblivious about his chilly sanctuary. He wasn't sure why now of all times he chose to show this side of his life—maybe it was just sheer desperation that motivated him, a secret wish to show someone the place that held so much importance to him.

Climbing down the stairs, Naruto followed Gaara into the dimly lit cellar. The first thing he noticed were the numerous paintings on the walls, reminding him of icons of some demonic church. He didn't even flinch as he eyed the pictures of murder, torture and death but his compassion towards his boyfriend increased every second. What on earth posessed the redhead to paint things like these?

"You're really talented! Have you ever thought of selling these? You could became a famous artist, who knows," Naruto said cheerfully, smiling to the redhead. He was so used to hiding everything under his sunny composure that even at a moment like this, it came naturally.

Gaara only snorted and almost smiled, thinking why anyone would want to buy pictures so grotesque as his paintings were. Still, he was relieved that Naruto took this part of his life so well.

Naruto looked at the paintings again, one by one, until his eyes hit one particual picture that was in the corner of the room and facing the wall. "Oh, here's yet one," he said aloud and turned the picture, just in time to see Gaara tense and open his mouth.

His eyes widened as he took in the painting. Of all things, this he hadn't expected to see... On the rich blue background, there was a smiling boy with golden hair and bright blue eyes. The matted skin shone like silk and the orange shirt brought out the tan color of it. The whisker-like scars on his cheeks were unmistakeable. Even though the colors were cold it was the warmest picture Naruto had ever seen, for it had been painted with a deep feeling.

"You painted a picture of me," was all Naruto could say as he directed his attention to the artist. Gaara nodded to him, clearly waiting what he thought about it. "It's beautiful," Naruto spoke, still looking at the redhead. The jade eyes softened as Gaara looked at him gently and Naruto wondered if the redhead had had that same, tender expression when he had painted the portrait. "Heh, you painted a picture of me after all!" Naruto exclaimed, grinning. The at first so crumpy Gaara had really painted a picture of him!

"I'm glad you like it," was all Gaara said as he sat down onto the bed as if a large amount of stress had been lifted off of shoulders. To tell the truth, he wasn't sure how to act, now that he'd let Naruto into his sanctuary.

"Sure I do," Naruto replied and sat next to his boyfriend. His spirits sank as he remembered Kiba. Was it really necessary to not tell Gaara, as Kankuro had told him? But what if Gaara would be mad at him? What if Gaara wouldn't believe him but thought he had betrayed him? It had taken so long to get this far with the redhead and Naruto feared he would ruin everything. Then again, Gaara had actually painted a portrait of him, a picture full of feelings. Gaara had never said aloud that he loved him but now, he was sure of the redhead's feelings. Encouraged, Naruto started to speak.

"Something has been bothering me..."

Under the surface, Gaara shuddered of the fear that was slowly filling him. He had a vague idea where this was going. "What is it?"

"You know, last weekend..." Naruto began, looking at the floor. Who would've believed how embarrassing it was to tell what had happened? But surely he could tell Gaara and now that he'd started, he wasn't going to back off. "Last weeked I was in a party with Kiba."

Gaara wondered if it was possible for the temperature to suddenly drop dramatically, because judging by the cold feeling that was threatening to drown him, it sure felt like it. Was this it, now? Was Naruto going to dump him? Fearing that his feelings were shining through his eyes, Gaara kept his eyes on the floor.

"And I drank too much beer there," Naruto confessed.

Something tightened on Gaara's chest. Was Naruto going to blame his drunkenness for being with Kiba? Gaara didn't say anything because he didn't trust his own voice.

"And... And then Kiba led me to the upstairs and... he tried to get advantage of me!" Naruto finally told, his gaze glued to the floor. He knew he was blushing from shame but he hoped no one would witness it.

"What!? That's horrible!" Gaara said, snapping out of his thoughts and turning to look at the blond. Unsure what to do, he put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Naruto gave him a thankful smile, although Gaara could detect sadness in it. Then he frowned, as he realized something. "Tried? What happened then?"

"Thankfully, I don't remember much of it. But your brother interrupted Kiba and saved me," Naruto explained, ashamed that he hadn't been able to defend himself back then.

"K-Kankuro?" Gaara stuttered, paling. At first, he didn't feel anything but confusion.

"Yeah, he was there. He was livid at Kiba and drove him away. After that, he was kind enough to drive me home," Naruto said.

"He drove you home..." Gaara repeated, some so far unnamed feeling growing inside of him. His brother had lied to him. Kankuro had _lied_ to him about Naruto...

"Yep. He was very nice to me, he even apologized what happened at my home back then," Naruto said, smiling warmly to the redhead. "I think your brother is a very nice person, after all!"

Gaara stared at the smiling blond, trying to pick up all the pieces of the story. Something was missing. "Then why didn't you tell me all this until now?"

"Um, your brother told me not to. I'm not sure why, maybe he just didn't want to worry you," Naruto suspected, wondering why his boyfriend was suddenly so pale.

Gaara let out a bark of laughter, his eyes narrowing as he looked into the distance. Like hell didn't Kankuro want to worry him! He gritted his teeth as he remember the conversation he had had with him last weekend. How dared his brother lie to him like this? Gladly Kankuro wasn't at home right now but at work, otherwise he would've most likely gone to give him a piece of his angry mind.

"Uh... Is everything alright?" Naruto asked, noticing how tense Gaara was. The jade eyes turned to look at him and soon, the coldness withdrew and was replaced by warmness.

"I was just thinking," Gaara said, deciding that there was no need to tell what he had just figured out. Besides, he could never tell Naruto why Kankuro had tried to separate them. "You should stay away from Kiba. I'm gonna talk to him on Monday," Gaara then said, pulling Naruto into a hug. He knew from first-hand experience what it felt like to be taken advantage of, not that he could ever tell about it to anyone. Still, he wanted to show his sympathy for his precious blond.

"No, don't go! It's alright, believe me. I don't want you to get into trouble," Naruto was quick to say.

"If I see him, it won't be me who's in trouble," Gaara said coolly, holding Naruto protectively. If it was up to him, no one was going to hurt his precious person and get away with it.

"Please Gaara, let it be. It's just better to forget it," Naruto pleaded, his bright blue eyes shining like diamonds.

Gaara didn't reply, for he had already made up his mind. Instead, he caressed the blond locks, admiring how the soft light reflected from them. It felt so natural to be with Naruto and now that all the suspicions were cleared from his mind, he could admit to himself that he'd been missing this kind of closeness. If only Naruto wouldn't have to leave tonight... Then, an idea hit him. "Would you like to stay the night here?"

"Of course!" was the instant reply. Again, Naruto was smiling.

"We should go upstairs and eat something. I don't know about you but I'm hungry," Gaara said. In reality, he knew his brother would come home after an hour or two and when Kankuro would be in the house, he didn't want to be seen with Naruto.

"Sounds good. Is it okay to your brother that I stay the night?" Naruto asked, knowing how strict Kankuro was with these things.

"Yes," Gaara replied. _Because we won't be telling him._

For supper they ate fruits and porridge, even though Naruto had of course at first asked if there were any instant ramen in the house. Then they showered—separately tough, for there were still lightly visible, white lines on Gaara's stomach resembling the kanji for 'love'. Besides, to Gaara the bathroom was full of bad memories and he didn't want to experience anything even remotedly sexual there with Naruto. Before Kankuro came home, they retreated back into the peace of the cellar. Just to be sure, Gaara had taken Naruto's shoes and coat from the hallway, taking them to the cellar with them so that Kankuro wouldn't see the evidence and tell Naruto to leave. Naruto had found his behavior weird and had asked him why Kankuro couldn't know that he was staying the night. Unable to find a reasonable reply, Gaara had just shrugged and stayed quiet until Naruto had stopped asking.

"I can't imagine how you can sleep in here!" Naruto said as he sat down onto the bed, shuddering with cold. He was ready to sleep, wearing only a T-shirt and tight boxers.

"I've gotten used to this," was all Gaara said. He was wearing his pajamas, not because he was cold but because they gave him a sense of security. He could hear his brother walking upstairs and he hoped that the brunette would just settle down and go to sleep. It occured to him just then that there was a chance that Kankuro could have an episode during the night. Also, there was a chance that Kankuro could come to the cellar door, seeking for forbidden closeness. Gaara shuddered. Hopefully, neither case would happen.

"I still think it's inhumanly cold in here, especially now that it's winter," Naruto said and lied down, pulling the cover over himself and shaking under the blanket. He looked at Gaara who seemed so concentrated on something he himself didn't have an idea of. He blushed as he thought that maybe tonight, Gaara would keep him warm.

As his brother's pacing stopped and it was quiet after that, Gaara was confident enough to turn off the lamp that was on the night table. He then settled next to Naruto and welcomed the warmness, even though the closeness made him a bit uncomfortable. How could it be that it was suddenly so hot in the cellar?

In the total blackness of the windowless cellar, a shivering Naruto inched closer to Gaara, seeking for warmth. Gaara let out a shaky breath as under the blanket, Naruto's cold hands fumbled along his body, searching him with touches because eyes couldn't see. Soon they were body against body, breaths mingling, just feeling each other.

Accidentally, or maybe innocently planned, their lips brushed and the contact soon turned into a tender kiss. To Gaara it felt so pure, so right. His precious blond had been faithful to him all this time. Naruto still loved him. And what had he done, in return? He had let Kankuro's evil lies taint his mind, causing him to avoid Naruto. And all this time, the blond had probably had no one to talk to about what had happened with Kiba. Gaara knew that feeling all too well, the feeling of not being able to tell anyone. Oh how he wanted to make it up but he wasn't sure how. He wanted to show Naruto how much he cared, how much he meant to him but he just didn't know how.

"Good night," Naruto whispered happily.

Gaara was desperate. It felt like time was running out. He didn't want to fall asleep without showing that he didn't take Naruto's presence granted. He wanted to prove himself worthy of Naruto's love, because just some hours ago he had doubted the blond's feelings.

"Naruto," Gaara said, engaging them into a kiss again, for it was the only thing he could think of doing. As he traced his tongue along Naruto's lower lip and the blond let out a surprised yet eager moan, it suddenly became very clear to Gaara what he could do to make everything up.

"Are you really sleepy?" Gaara whispered in the darkness, as he gently placed a kiss on Naruto's neck. As the blond's grip on him tightened, it encouraged him even more.

"Uh... G-Gaara," Naruto stuttered, not feeling sleepy at all anymore. As the redhead gently guided him, he turned to lay on his back. Due to the blackness, Naruto's sense of touch intensified and he could feel every probing and eager brush of Gaara's fingers and lips.

At first, he felt Gaara giving attention to his neck and collarbone. It sent pleasant shivers all over his body, exciting him like never before. Gaara was pulling up his T-shirt now but stopped, asking for his permission. "It's okay," Naruto whispered huskily and sat up, discarding himself of his T-shirt and throwing it away somewhere into the darkness. Soon Gaara's hands were on his bare chest, willing him to lie down again. The sweet touch of lips followed and Naruto gasped, realizing that Gaara was going down.

"Gaara? Are you sure?" Naruto asked, hoping they weren't going on too fast. The blissful touch of lips stopped just above his navel as Gaara lifted his head.

"Yes," Gaara whispered quietly, pressing his lips below Naruto's navel. He felt the blond's body tense as his hot breath hit against the sensitive skin. Sensually, he lowered the tight boxers and finally pulled them off, this all of course on Naruto's permission. He never wanted to hurt his precious Naruto, never.

Now lying naked on the bed, Naruto was staring into the pitch-black darkness, in the direction where he knew Gaara was. His hardened member was pulsing, almost painfully begging for release as some precum was dripping from the tip onto his stomach. He felt Gaara's warm hands caressing his tights and then hips, squeezing them. He gasped as the redhead's hot breath hit against his erection, hinting what was to come next.

"Ah—!" Naruto gasped as soft lips touched his hardened member. A wet tongue licked the tip, tasting him, and Naruto couldn't help but grab the sheets into his fists. Before he even knew it, his erection slid into the hot mouth and the tension in his body tenfolded.

"Haah..." Naruto moaned quietly, grabbing the sheets more forcefully. This was bliss, a salvation. If this really was a demon church, like he had playfully named the cellar just hours ago, then he was sure that Gaara was the high priest and what he was just experiencing, had to be the highest possible salvation. It felt so good that Naruto didn't even pay attention how Gaara took him in his mouth all the way, not even once gagging.

"Talk to me," Gaara whispered before resuming to his work. In the darkness he couldn't see a thing, so he needed Naruto's voice to keep some haunting memories at bay. He needed the voice to remind himself that he was now with Naruto and not with his brother. He wanted to please Naruto so much, yet he couldn't fully suppress the images that came into his mind.

"O-Okay," Naruto stuttered, his voice full of pleasure. "Please don't s-stop," he said, feeling the tension in his body increase before it would erupt.

The meaningless, lusty words Naruto managed to say aloud kept Gaara anchored at reality. He enjoyed when Naruto enjoyed, for this was the meaning of his life, wasn't it? To please others. Besides, after this there would be no way Naruto could be unsatisfied in a way or another. Gaara had still hard time believing that Naruto wasn't secretly impatient with him.

"Gaara... I'm going to... I'm going to—!" Naruto moaned, his body tensing.

As the warm, salty seed spilled into Gaara's mouth, he swallowed it out of habit. The incoherent, passionate groans of Naruto were like music to his ears and it made him happy that he had just been needed and wanted.

"Aah... G-Gaara," Naruto moaned now in a quieter voice as lights flashed in his eyes. He was drained and exhausted in so many ways but most of all, he felt satisfied and happy.

Also pleased, Gaara crawled to lay next to his precious Naruto. He was just about to draw the blanket over them as a sound came from the cellar door.

Knock, knock.

"Gaara?" came Kankuro's quiet, sleepless voice. The brunette had no idea that a certain blonde was also staying the night in the house.

Closing his eyes in frustration, Gaara sighed and then got up from the bed. He climbed up the stairs but didn't open the door.

"What?" Gaara asked back, his voice far from happy.

"Would you like to... sleep next to me tonight?" Kankuro asked, hesitating, as if voicing out his wish was illegal.

"Not now!" Gaara hissed, hoping that Naruto hadn't heard his brother's question.

"Why not? Come on, please," Kankuro continued in a pleading voice.

"Not. Now. Go away," Gaara hissed angrily, cold sweat taking over his body. He didn't like where this was going. Hopefully the brunette would leave immediately.

"But—"

"Go away! I was sleeping," Gaara snapped, raising his voice. "Now go to sleep, good night!"

"Jeez, no need to yell allright? Sleep well," Kankuro said in a quiet voice, retreating from the other side of the cellar door.

Relieved, Gaara went back to bed, hoping against hope that Naruto hadn't heard a word.

"Why did he want you to sleep next to him?" Naruto asked, confused.

"What? Uh, I don't know. He's sometimes afraid to sleep alone. It's because of our... father," Gaara lied. He would _never_ tell Naruto the real reason.

"Oh, okay," Naruto said and faked a yawn.

"You're tired, go to sleep," Gaara ordered, hoping that sleeping would cease the blond's curiosity.

"But what about you? I want that you enjoy too," Naruto said, not wanting to be the only one who had received wonderful pleasure.

"Maybe some other time, okay? Now we both should sleep, it's getting very late," Gaara said, even though he often stayed up all the nights and painted, thanks to his insomnia.

"Well, good night then," Naruto accepted reluctantly. They then kissed before Naruto turned his back to Gaara so he could sleep better.

In reality, the blond kept his eyes open for the most of the night, unable to go to sleep. The redhead next to him breathed heavily, indicating that Gaara was asleep. Naruto couldn't sleep though, not when there were so many questions swirling in his mind. Why had Kankuro wanted to sleep next to Gaara? Was there something going on that he wasn't aware of? Was it normal that 17 and 18 years old brothers would share a bed?

The questions didn't let Naruto sleep for a long, long time. In the total blackness of a cellar, no one knew he was awake. When the first bangs of tiredness finally came to him, he yawned and decided to ask Gaara later about Kankuro's weird question.

He was sure that there was something he ought to know.

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**A/N:** _The song I quoted in this chapter is "Hoodoo" by Muse._

_Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be the most interesting so far (in my opinion)!! :D_


	12. Stockholm Syndrome

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, **INCEST**, AU, **un-betaed**.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

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**A/N:** _Thanks for all the reviews, favs and alerts! I appreciate them very much, they made me smile and feel worthy! Sorry that I haven't answered to the reviews, I'm still recovering from depression and I don't have much energy left._

_If you want more information about __**Stockholm Syndrome**__, look Wikipedia or Google it. In this chapter, Stockholm Syndrome refers to the victim's (Gaara) loyalty to the abuser (Kankuro)._

_I've drawn __**a picture **__of this chapter. See my profile for link._

_I've published __**a new story called Daddy's Legacy**__. It's very dark and sick but hey, what can you do. It's about Kankuro and Gaara of course._

_About this chapter... I hope you remember the dream Naruto told Gaara about in chapter 9.  
_

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**Chapter 12: Stockholm Syndrome**

Since morning, Kankuro had been in a bad mood.

First of all, he had found out that Naruto, the overly annoying little blondie, had stayed the last night with Gaara in the cellar. Why hadn't Gaara asked for his permission? The redhead always did, always! Under the surface, Kankuro was furious. To the outside world, he only radiated coldness and cool anger.

The blondie had left in the morning and after that, Gaara had been avoiding Kankuro like knowing that if they talked, it would result a fight. It was now evening and the darkness had fallen upon the sleeping, wintry ladscape outside. Kankuro looked out of the livingroom window to the leafless branches of the trees, to the deafening blackness that swallowed the sleeping forest. One thing he loved about winter was the darkness and the bone-chilling coldness.

His musings were interrupted, however, when the cellar door creaked and indicated that Gaara was out of the cellar. Wasting no time, Kankuro walked there and found the redhead staring at the front door, deep in thought.

"What was he doing in here?" Kankuro asked, angry that the annoying blond had stayed the night in their house. The redhead was standing back turned to him, watching at the door as if the stupid blondie was still there.

"He was staying the night," Gaara replied, stating the obvious. Under the surface, he was irritated that his brother had dared to lie to him about Naruto and Kiba.

"You could've asked me first," Kankuro said coolly, not liking that Gaara had done such a decision all by himself. His little brother had always asked his permission for things like these, always, and he didn't like this sudden change at all.

"It was a decision I could make by myself," Gaara said back, still not turning to face his brother.

"You could've slept in your room," Kankuro spoke, not pleased that the teenagers had shared a bed in the cellar, out of his reach and away from his earshot. He took a step towards the redhead, for he couldn't stand that Gaara was ignoring him like this instead of facing him.

"I prefer the cellar as you know," Gaara replied calmly, trying to keep his cool even though he was growing more and more irritated by the moment. It was none of his brother's business where he spent his time!

"But what about Naruto? Didn't he have cold in there?" Kankuro asked, his tone of voice revealing his disgust about the subject. With a few steps, he closed the distance between them and put his hands on Gaara's shoulders, breathing on the redhead's neck.

"Or did you keep him warm?" he then asked, his grip tightening threateningly.

"It's none of your business!" Gaara said, raising his voice and trying to wriggle free from the tight grip.

"So you two did something!" Kankuro growled, not releasing his brother but holding him more tightly instead. He knew it! The blond was no good! He disliked the blondie even more now, he almost hated him for changing Gaara like this.

"No," Gaara managed but his reply came out feeble. He wasn't good at lying, the least of all to his brother. His cheeks were blushing as he recalled the events of the last night, remembering how Naruto had kept on whispering to him, moaning to him. At that moment, he was grateful that Kankuro couldn't see his face.

"What did you two do?" Kankuro hissed right to Gaara's ear. He was sure now that his precious little brother had betrayed him, and it was all that stupid blondie's fault!

"Nothing," Gaara said but his voice lacked the defiant edge it had had before.

Swinging Gaara around, Kankuro forced the redhead to look at him. He was going to find out the truth, in a way or another. "Were you on the bottom? Or did he let you top him?" Kankuro asked in an irritated voice.

"No! Stop asking me," Gaara replied, disgusted at his brother's straightforwardness.

"Did he make you come like I do?" Kankuro went on, jealousness growing inside of him. Moment by moment, he hated the blondie more, for stealing a part of Gaara away. Gaara was his and no one else's!

"Well did he?" Kankuro asked impatiently as the redhead didn't answer right away. "Or maybe you sucked him off! Did you spit or did you swallow, like you do with me?" he continued heatedly, the jealousness now burning inside of him. As the blush deepened on Gaara's face, Kankuro stopped asking, his black eyes revealing deep hurt.

"You betrayed me," Kankuro whispered, irritation seething through his voice. His feelings were tearing him in two, unstabilizing him to the point where his emotions mixed. Momentarily, he loosened his grip and right after that, the warmth of his little brother left him, escaping him. The house seemed even darker now than before, it was almost black from all the paining feelings. He didn't remember that such blackness could even exist and so he gripped his head, trying to force it out of his mind.

With a bit of fear, Gaara looked at his brother, wondering if the brunette was winning or losing the internal battle he seemed to be having. In the black eyes, he saw mixed feelings but on top were hurt and even fear. It made him want to comfort his brother, in hopes that there could possibly be something that he could do to help him. The last thing he needed now was Kankuro losing himself.

"Kankuro," he said, gently touching his brother's arm, meaning it as a comforting gesture.

Sooner than he could even realize, his wrist was captured and the black eyes held no more fear but irritation, even though the hurt still remained. With a thud, Gaara's back hit the wall as Kankuro pinned him against it.

"You're so easy, Gaara. You have no self-respect. Did you give in to Naruto this easily, too?" Kankuro asked, blame hidden in his voice. He knew it wasn't fair to take out his disappointment and hurt on Gaara, but some feelings were easier to deal with if they were inflicted on others.

"I'm not easy!" Gaara said, trying to appear stronger than he actually was. Deep inside, he was unsure and vulnerable.

"Don't tell me you really think he's interested in your personality," Kankuro snorted. "He took interest in you only because you walk around in ridiculously tight clothes which leave very little room to imagination, and the second you stop going down on him, he will leave you," he then continued coldly, all along inspecting the pale face keenly.

"You know nothing!" Gaara almost shouted, angry that his brother talked about Naruto so lightly. "Besides, you lied to me about what happened at the party! How dared you?" he snapped, wriggling to get his wrist free.

"I tried to protect you, like so many times before," Kankuro replied calmly, keeping Gaara in place. "Please don't tell me you haven't still figured out how he's like. He gets drunk and then leaves himself at the mercy of other people. He is _stupid_. There's no excuse for that," Kankuro said and smirked.

"That still doesn't change the fact that you lied to me," Gaara said, struggling again. Right now he wanted to get away from his brother and the lies. Who knew in how many lies he still believed?

"Now let me go!"

"I'm afraid it won't be that easy. You did worse to me. You _cheated_ on me! I've never done that to you, yet you jumped on the first person that paid attention to you," Kankuro spoke, slashing the younger male with his accusing words.

"But we're brothers, not a freaking couple!" Gaara snapped.

"Oh, but when you hurt someone you love, it doesn't matter if you're siblings or not," Kankuro explained patiently and continued in the same manner, "Try empathy. How would you feel if I banged one of my friends in my room, while you'd sit on your own room, alone? Or how would you feel if I let one of them suck me, after I'd first been with you? Wouldn't you feel hurt? Wouldn't you feel like I'd _abandoned_ you?"

Momentarily, Gaara had to lower his gaze because guilt was already filling his mind. He shouldn't feel guilty over this, if he thought rationally. But the emotional bond with his brother hindered his logic, and so he had to try twice as much to not let Kankuro's words manipulate him.

"I will forgive you," Kankuro said, breaking the short silence. As their gazes locked, there was something unreadable in the black orbs. "But on one condition."

"No." This was the part Gaara had secretly feared. He didn't want this guilt, this fake debt. He wanted Naruto and the easy communication.

"Yes. I want you to be eager tonight. You have to show me how much you want it, how much better it's with me than with that brat. Got it?" Kankuro said, his command leaving no room for arguments.

"Why?" Gaara asked the pointless question, trying to buy time. He was in no mood for any of this, it all felt horrible. His longing for Naruto only increased after hearing his sentence for his 'crime'. But what had happened last night wasn't a crime—if there even was such a thing, then it was this between him and his brother.

"I'll make you forget about him," Kankuro whispered to Gaara's ear, his other hand already lifting the black shirt of his little brother.

"Stop," Gaara said, anxious that time had ran out. He didn't want this. He didn't want his brother's hands all over his body.

"I know you want it, too," Kankuro said in a low voice, pushing his hips against Gaara's.

He needed this, now. He needed to feel the love, because maybe that way, he would stay emotinally balanced. He wanted to hear his little brother scream and see him close his eyes as he entered him, because that would bring them closer together, that way Gaara would know how he had felt way back then, years ago. Because then Gaara would share his pain, and his little brother would love him because they could understand each other. He just wanted Gaara to understand and love him, not to leave him alone. Besides, Gaara surely wanted this secretly, anyways.

"No, I don't!" Gaara half-hissed, half-growled.

His heart was aching from all the emotions and pains he had tried to suppress in hopes of making them go away. But they had never vanished and now they were threatening to explode, he could feel it. The burden was just too much. Kankuro's hands were exploring the waistband of his jeans now, hinting what would happen soon. Did he deserve this? He didn't want to be treated this way—he didn't want to be stripped, he didn't want anything inside of him, and the least of all, he didn't want to be told he liked it when he had clearly said he didn't.

And now his brother had already unbuttoned his jeans and was speaking to his ear in a husky voice. "You're just playing hard to get, aren't you? You know it only turns me on—"

"NO!!" Gaara suddenly shouted, struggling like never before. He wouldn't succumb now. Naruto had treated him like human being. Naruto always listened to him and cared how he felt. He wanted that, not this.

With power he didn't even know he had, he pushed his brother away, freeing himself. For a fleeting second time seemed to stop and all he could remember afterwards was Kankuro's dumbfounded expression. The next thing he knew was that he was running out of the front door into the cold, snowy evening without having even his shoes on. But he didn't care. He didn't care that he had only a shirt and unzipped jeans on and that he was already freezing. It was all trivial now. All he cared about was getting away from home. And Naruto...

His socks were slippery on the icy street as he dashed like his life depended on it. His body was full of adrenaline and fear as he finally reached Naruto's door and ringed the doorbell frantically. In his panic, he banged the door with his fist as if he was about to die.

_Open the goddamn door, Naruto! Hurry!_

And then, someone grabbed him from behind and coverd his mouth, making it impossible for him to scream.

"Mmfh!!" was all Gaara could manage but it was too late, for he was already being dragged behind the corner of the house, their footsteps leaving a visible trail on the snow.

"Shut up!" Kankuro hissed angrily, jerking Gaara to emphasize his words.

"I can't believe how stupid you are, running away like that! Anyone could've seen! What were you thinking!?" he continued angrily but quietly. His own heart was pounding wildly in his chest from excitement and fear, and he prayed that none of their neighbours had seen them.

"Mmh," Gaara mumbled quietly, the hand still covering his mouth. The coldness was slowly taking him over and his socks were now half-wet and half-frozen.

"Listen carefully, Gaara," Kankuro began, as they slowly backed away deeper into Naruto's backyard. "We can't let anyone know about anything, you do know that? I'm sure you know what I'll do if they find out and try to take me away," Kankuro whispered, the same old insanity echoing in his voice.

"Mmh!" Gaara mumbled, his eyes widening. He didn't want anything bad to happen to Kankuro, he knew his brother had suffered enough. What the brunette needed was help, not any more problems.

Naruto had jolted up from his sleep as he'd heard the frantic ringing of the doorbell. His drowsiness had vanished quickly as loud thumping had chimed in with the sound of the doorbell. Thinking that someone had to be in serious trouble, he had hurried to the door, only to find that there was no one in there.

Surprised, he had at first thought it was a joke committed by the children of the neighbourhood. He had been about to go back inside when he had spotted a suspicious trail on the snow, leading behind the corner of the house. Frowning, he had taken his shoes and coat and put them on before locking the door.

"Hello, is anybody there?" Naruto called into the darkness. When no answer came, he started to follow the trail, curious at who was intruding his backyard.

"Great, now the blondie's coming after us!" Kankuro huffed and dragged Gaara along, until they were on the border of the forest that begun where the backyard ended. Fortunately it was very dark so they had a perfect hiding spot in the shadows of the trees.

"So we're going to mislead the blondie, alright?" Kankuro said in a quiet voice, and after Gaara nodded, he continued. "We go into the forest, you different path than I. It will be harder for the blondie to follow us if there are two paths. If he follows us, it shouldn't matter which path he chooses, because I'll keep an eye on you and when the blondie's close enough, I'll knock him out. Alright?"

Shaking with cold, Gaara nodded feebly, even though in reality he didn't want to agree with his brother's crazy plan. Now there was no time for hesitation, though, because they couldn't get caught by Naruto like this, not without raising unwanted questions.

"Good. Now go!" Kankuro whispered, releasing Gaara's wrists. Neither of them noticed how one of Gaara's loose bracelets fell onto the thin layer of snow and remained there, glinting in the faint light of the moon. Both of them hurried deeper into the forest, away from the light, afraid that their secret would be revealed.

The sound of footsteps caught Naruto's attention and he hurried to the backyard, only to find two trails on the snow, leading into the forest. _Must've been the kids after all_, Naruto thought and was about to go back inside, when he saw something glinting on the ground. As he picked it up he instantly recognized it.

"Gaara?" Naruto yelled loudly, looking around. What was Gaara's bracelet doing in here? Had it been Gaara on his door just moments ago? Now more worried than ever, Naruto started to run into the forest, following the path that opened right in front of him.

Running headlong into the growing darkness and thickening forest, Kankuro cursed in his mind. Where the hell did the blondie know Gaara was here? This was no good. Keeping an eye on the redhead who was about twenty feet away from him, Kankuro ran on, trying to make as little noise as possible. What should they do after he knocked out the blondie? Should they... bury him? Bury him alive? Shaking his head, Kankuro tried to dissolve the brutal thought. That would be a murder. Someone would find the body eventually. Someone would count one plus one together and find him and Gaara guilty. No, they couldn't do that!

Or could they? At least then, Gaara would be all his again. Gaara would be forever and ever his and only his.

"No..." Kankuro murmured to himself, denying his insane thougths. He wasn't this crazy, no. He wasn't a murderer. But the deeper he ran into the forest, the further away civilization and laws seemed to him. He suppressed an insane chuckle that almost escaped his lips, threatening to reveal his whereabouts to the blond who still followed them. The forest grew darker with every step he took, and with every step, he tried to keep the darkness away from his mind. He couldn't lose himself now, for Gaara's sake.

"Gaara? Are you here?" Naruto shouted with a worried voice. He had a bad feeling about this, like something bad was going to happen to him. But there was no way he'd turn back, not when Gaara was probably here.

Gaara kept on running, despite the freezing coldness that was taking over his body second by second. His socks were wet and cold, partly frozen, but he had to keep on moving on despite of that. Deep down he feared what would happen once Naruto got closer to them. Would Kankuro really knock him out? However, his train of thought was interrupted when a root of a tree got in his way and he fell to the snowy ground, hurting his knee.

"Ouch!" he yelped, even though he had tried to keep quiet so that Naruto wouldn't find his whereabouts.

Kankuro heard the yelp and cursed under his breath, knowing that it was no good for Gaara to stop running.

"Gaara!?" Naruto shouted again, running faster now. It was very dark in the forest and it was hard for him to see forwards. What he did see, however, was a large lump in the middle of the trail and the closer he got it, the more human-like it looked.

"GAARA!!!" Naruto yelled now and rushed down to his boyfriend. "Gaara, are you okay? You look hurt!" Naruto spoke frantically, his veins full of adrenaline from excitement and fear.

"N-N-Narut-to..." Gaara whispered stuttering, for he was far too frostbitten to talk louder. He saw a figure between the nearby trees and knew that Kankuro's plan was about to come in action. But Gaara couldn't let it happen! No, he couldn't let Naruto to be knocked out and left in the cold, dark forest. So he entwined his trembling hands around Naruto and hugged him, hugged his head, so that no one could hurt his precious little blond. Behind Naruto's back, he showed shooing gestures to Kankuro to signal that he should disappear into the shadows. And he saw Kankuro retreat, but not before spitting on the ground first.

"What is it Gaara? Why did you hug me?" Naruto asked as he pulled off from the hug, a bit confused at the action.

"I-I'm s-so c-cold," Gaara stuttered, seeking Naruto's warmth again.

"Oh yeah you must be!" Naruto said, and continued, "Come on, let's go home. You look really frostbitten, Gaara." And then he helped Gaara to stand up and slowly, the two of them began to retreat back to the civilization, Gaara limping because of his hurt knee and Naruto giving the redhead much needed support.

One person, though, remained in the forest, looking at the two retreating backs. Kankuro spat to the gound again, angry that his plan had gone awry. Stupid Gaara...

* * *

Naruto led the freezing Gaara into his warm, cozy house and locked the door behind them. Without taking even his shoes off first, he led Gaara straight to the bathroom. In the fluorescent light, the redhead's pale skin looked even more blueish now than before and Naruto kept on worrying if his skinny boyfriend had gotten some serious frostbites.

"Let's take your cold clothes off, okay? I'll bring you some dry ones to change into," Naruto said softly and helped Gaara to take off his shirts first, since the quiet redhead seemed to be too frozen to strip without help.

On Gaara's pale stomach, Naruto couldn't help but notice some white, thin, old-looking scars. They seemed to form some sort of weird pattern, which made them look different than usual slashes. Had Gaara done those cuts himself? And if so, why? If Gaara really was so suicidal, why weren't there any cut marks on the pale arms or on the wrists? Getting worried, Naruto stayed silent and decided that after Gaara felt better, it would be time for questions.

Silently, Naruto turned his attention to Gaara's black jeans and instantly noticed that they were unbuttoned and the zip was open.

_What the hell..._ Naruto thought, his worriness increasing. _What the hell is going on?_ Naruto wondered as he looked at his still freezing friend. Gaara was in some trance-like state, silent and shivering. What had Gaara done in the forest, his pants open? Naruto was now sure that it had to be Gaara that had been desperately knocking at his door back then.

Automatically, Naruto helped Gaara to take off the cold jeans and wet socks until the redhead had no more clothes on but his tight boxers.

"I'll bring you some dry clothes now. Just a second," Naruto said to the unresponsive redhead before he disappeared from the bathroom.

But why would've Gaara come to his door with such hurry and desperation, Naruto wondered on his way to the drawer in his room. Had the redhead ran away from something? Naruto pulled out a comfy pyjaman with a pair of boxers and socks, and it was then he remembered the two trails on the snow—so Gaara hadn't been alone, and most likely, the other person had been Kankuro.

For with whom else Gaara spent his time unless with his brother? And if the other person had been Kankuro, it would mean that Gaara had ran away from home, which would explain quite well Gaara's lack of shoes and winter clothing.

Head swirling with unanswered questions, Naruto returned to the bathroom and handed the clothes to Gaara.

"Here you are, you can change these on," he said and left the redhead alone. For some reason, he felt like he should give Gaara his privacy. Somehow now was not the right moment to see his boyfriend naked for the first time.

After taking off his shoes and coat, Naruto went restlessly to the kithcen to drink a glass of water. The action didn't ease his mind at all so he left the room and paced around a little in the hallway. In the livingroom, Naruto sat down and waited. One thing he couldn't straight away fathom was what had driven Gaara from his home to his door with such hurry. And why had Kankuro been there?

Before Naruto's brain could proceed the train of thought further, the bathroom door opened and Gaara entered the livingroom.

The redhead was still shivering but the color had slowly started to come back to his face. Gaara sat on the couch and instantly, Naruto was there to entwine a soft and warm blanket around him.

Fire crackled in the fireplace and in the peaceful atmosphere, Gaara let his guard down. One thing that prevented him from fully relaxing, though, was the unsureness of his brother's whereabouts. Was Kankuro still out there? Was he lurking behind the windows even now?

"Gaara..." Naruto started, a loving yet very worried expression on his face.

"Are you feeling better now? Well I can see you're still shivering but at least you got warm clothes on now," Naruto started, feeling that his chattering eased the unsureness he now suddenly felt.

Gaara only nodded for an answer and tied the blanket a little more tightly around himself. It was very comfy here in Naruto's house, thanks to the dim lighting and the crackling of the fireplace. It was quiet and warm, safe. So it was no wonder that warmness was slowly spreading over him, chasing away the coldness that had only moments ago chilled his flesh and bones.

"Thanks," Gaara said quietly, feeling that he could talk normally again.

"Hey no problem," Naruto answered, a familiar wide smile gracing his lips. A silence fell over them and at least to Naruto, it felt uncomfortable.

"What happened?" Naruto then asked, breaking the silence. He wasn't as stupid as he sometimes let people know and he had already made conclusions about the events of the night. But there were still many, many things he couldn't understand.

"Nothing," Gaara just said and looked away. He was so worried about Kankuro. Had the brunette gone home yet? Or was Kankuro having an episode in the forest? If only he could know...

"Nothing happened?" Naruto repeated, a little surprised. He stared at the redhead, but Gaara refused to meet his eyes.

"You come banging at my door, all hysterical, but when I get to open, you're nowhere to be seen. Instead I find marks on the snow, leading to my backyard. Then I find two trails leading into the forest and your bracelet on the snow, and when I get to you you're all frostbitten and freezing. Added to that, you have no shoes or a coat on and your pants are unzipped!" Naruto explained heatedly.

"And you say that nothing happened. What the hell is going on Gaara!?" Naruto yelled standing up, not because he was angry but because of his concern. "I'm not as stupid as everyone thinks of, so you better tell me now!"

"I don't think you're stupid," Gaara whispered, giving a sideway glance to the blond. He was growing desperate, for there was no way he could tell Naruto what had led to him escaping home. He just wanted his boyfriend to stop interrogating him, that would be best for everyone.

"Well yes you think I am if you thought I'd let this be," Naruto said heatedly. "What happened, Gaara?" he asked again, "What were you doing outside without proper clothing? I think you were running away from something," Naruto concluded.

"Well... Yes I was," Gaara said quietly and looked at Naruto, for he knew he couldn't lie about that even if he tried. But he couldn't tell the truth, either, at least not the whole truth.

"I thought so," Naruto answered, pleased that they were making progress. "Was it Kankuro you were escaping?"

"No..." Gaara lied, his eyes once again staring into the fire instead of Naruto.

"Oh come on, I know you weren't alone in the forest. Well who else it was if it wasn't Kankuro? Huh? And were are your shoes and all if it wasn't your home you were running from?" Naruto asked tentatively. He wanted to know exactly what Kankuro had done to drive Gaara away.

"Alright! I was running away from home..." Gaara told and looked at the blond, annoyed that Naruto didn't seem to accept his feeble lies. What he feared more than Naruto finding out about their secret was what Kankuro would do, if he found out the blond knew.

"Why? You can tell me. I'm your boyfriend and we're supposed to trust each other," Naruto pleaded softly, offering his support. He sat down next to Gaara and stared into the jade eyes.

"Well..." Gaara started, once again thinking about a lie to tell. "Um, we were having a fight. He's been having mental problems and he was under an episode." Alright, it wasn't a total lie but better than the whole truth.

"I'm sorry to hear that," was Naruto's first reaction. "What happened?"

"He... followed me here and you know the rest," Gaara tried.

"No, I meant what happened at your home?" Naruto corrected, eager to know. "What made you leave without stopping to put even shoes on? Was he violent or something?"

"Um... yeah," Gaara lied again and looked away. Better a violent brother than an abusing one. "That's why I left with such a hurry."

"Did he hurt you?" Naruto asked almost whispering, as if he didn't dare to talk loud.

"No..."

"Has he hurt you before?" Naruto willed himself to ask as he remembered the scars on Gaara's stomach. He put an arm around Gaara, giving the redhead a half-hug in order to encourage him to speak. He wanted to do his everything to make Gaara talk to him instead of lying.

"Sometimes," Gaara noticed himself saying as he stared in the fireplace again. Something in the vivid flames soothed him and being so close to Naruto gave him a sense of security. An ache appearead in his heart, a longing to actually _tell_ someone about his and Kankuro's secret. It was like he wanted to lift a weight from his heart, to confess his sins to the person he loved.

"I couldn't help but notice that there are scars on your stomach... Has he done them? And your zip was open. I was wondering if he kinda... Did he... You know, did he try to... f-force you into something?" Naruto asked stammering, his blue eyes shining with worry.

Gaara's jade eyes widened in shock because of the accurate question. How could... Naruto conclude such a thing? Was it so obvious? What would he do if Naruto found out? What would Kankuro do? Gaara dared to look at the blond, even though he feared that his own eyes might give the answer away.

The sheer care and concern in the blue eyes made a lump in Gaara's throat appear and for a fleeting moment, he wondered if he should tell the blond everything. Would Naruto understand him? The idea started to sound bearable until Kankuro's words flooded into his mind.

_"No one will understand you, they will only accuse you, label you, call you a monster. Even Naruto would call you a freak and leave."_

Gaara gulped and shook the thoughts about confessing out of his head. There was no way he could ever tell anyone. He would be just labeled and left alone. Naruto would surely hate him for cheating him with his brother. Yes, Naruto would be disgusted and then, the blue eyes would be void of care and love, forever.

"Hey, are you alright?" Naruto whispered as he noticed the pained expression on Gaara's face. He gave the redhead a hug and kissed the pale cheek, to show that he cared. "I'm sorry if these questions make you feel uncomfortable but you got to understand that I have to know."

"Do you think I'm a freak, Naruto?" Gaara asked, not meeting the blue eyes.

"What? Of course I don't think so!" Naruto said, surprised, and continued, "At first I thought you were a scary person, thanks to all the rumors that stupid people spread around the school. You know, those rumours that you drank blood and so on," Naruto laughed nervously. "Anyway, when I got to know you I found out what an unique and beautiful person you are! So no, I could never think of you as a freak."

"Never?" Gaara asked. "No matter what I'd done?"

"Yeah. Is there something you've done, some freakish things?" Naruto asked.

"What if there is?" Gaara answered, staring into the fire. Could he do it? Could he ever confess his sins to Naruto? He knew Kankuro would almost murder him if he ever told anyone. And what if Naruto told someone, like the police? Kankuro would be taken away, forever. That could never happen. But the ache in his heart was growing...

"I would still love you, no matter what," Naruto said truthfully.

"No matter what?" Gaara wanted confirmation.

"No matter what," Naruto said and his blue eyes twinkled like stars. And the smile on his lips was like an embodyment of love.

"What if I told you that tonight, my brother really tried to force me into... something?" Gaara said tentatively, not even sure himself if it was wise or not. His trust for Naruto was slowly growing stronger than his fear of Naruto telling someone, and the ache of confession in his heart didn't leave him be. He was like a sinner thriving for absolution.

"That's horrible!" Naruto exclaimed, hugging Gaara again. After his hold loosened, he looked into the jade eyes to show how much he felt about it.

"And what if I said that he wasn't under an episode?" Gaara said, testing the waters. Now he felt like he was walking on a very thin ice but somehow, the danger made him want to continue his confessions.

"Huh? You mean... he wasn't crazy when he tried to...?" Naruto trailed off, not really understanding what Gaara meant. "That makes it even more horrible! It's not right, it's illegal! It's good you ran away!"

"...This time," Gaara whispered, not daring to meet Naruto's gaze anymore.

"W-What?" Naruto asked almost unaudibly, totally shocked. Did Gaara mean... Did Kankuro really take advantage of Gaara? That bastard! "How many times...?" he managed to ask. His voice was shaking.

"I don't remember," Gaara said truthfully. Some weird feeling was filling him, like he was drunken of his confession. His heart felt a lot lighter now but a new kind of fear shadowed it. It was the fear of Naruto telling someone.

"H-How l-long?" Naruto asked, his voice shaking even more now. He had fisted his hands and it almost looked like red flashed in his eyes.

"About two to three years now," Gaara whispered, wondering how fast time had fled.

"That means you were only f-fourteen when it began..." Naruto said quietly, his knuckles now white.

"Yeah..."

"I'm gonna go and kick his ass!" Naruto suddenly exploded, letting his anger free. Oh how he wanted to beat Kankuro up, to hurt him and show him how much he despised him! Naruto was disgusted, totally sickened, about how badly Kankuro had treated his precious Gaara. Older brother were meant to protect their younger brothers, not to abuse them!

"No, you're not strong enough! Besides—" Gaara started but was cut off.

"Then we'll go together! Together, we're stonger than him!" Naruto yelled, eager at taking all his anger out on Kankuro who now was nothing but pure evil to him.

"No! He doesn't deserve that... Could you just forget this conversation ever happened?" Gaara muttered, totally in panic now.

Why on earth had he been so stupid to ever tell anyone? God, how stupid he was! He wished he had never told Naruto his secret. He should've foreseen the blond's reaction. Now that Naruto was all defensive, it strangely made Gaara want to stand up for Kankuro, just because he didn't want the blond to speak badly of the brunette. There was so much good in Kankuro that people didn't see.

"Doesn't deserve that? Gaara, in what kind of fantasy world are you living in? He's _abused_ you for years and you say we should let this all be, just like that?"

"Yeah... You see—"

"No I don't see, Gaara! Listen to yourself! Listen! How... how can you think of him like that? He's a monster, a very horrible person," Naruto yelled because of his strong emotions. "He should be in jail or worse! That's what he deserves!" After his outburst he breathed a couple of times and then continued in a much calmer voice.

"Please... Please, Gaara... Why do you defend him? He doesn't deserve that."

"But he does! You have no idea how much good he's done for me!" Gaara said, raising his voice. Deep down, he was hurt that Kankuro was being criticized.

"I... I _l-love_ him! I love him beucause he... He's sacrifised himself for me countless of times. When we were little, he let our uncle do things to him so that I wouldn't end up being abused."

"But you did, eventually! Don't you get that? Don't you see that it's not more right to be abused by your brother than by your uncle? It's wrong, WRONG!" Naruto yelled again, unable to comprehend how his boyfriend defended Kankuro with bright eyes.

"But it's a small price to pay. And don't say it's wrong, I don't want to be a wrongdoer. Besides, Kankuro says that love is never wrong," Gaara said quietly, even though he knew how wrong his and Kankuro's lifestyle was. He just didn't want to say it.

"No Gaara, no. There are cases when love is wrong, okay? And this is one of them. I can assure you that. So please, Gaara, try to see things in my way, in _normal_ way," Naruto tried. He really wanted to make Gaara realize how serious a situation this was.

"I don't care about normal, I never did. Very few things in my childhood could be considered normal. Only when me and Kankuro started living together, things turned better, more normal," Gaara defended.

"Better? How is being forced to... to sex better?" Naruto asked, really not understanding Gaara's train of reasoning.

"You only see that part!" Gaara snapped in a defensive voice. "There's more, there are things you don't know. Kankuro cares about me very deeply and I'd never want anything bad to happen to him. He loves me, he'd _die_ for me! Besides, it's not so wrong between two gay brothers if both want it," Gaara said.

"Oh really?" Naruto said sceptically, frustrated that Gaara was so keenly living in the freaking fantasy world. Just how messed up had Kankuro turned him into? "Look, is that a thought of your own or is it Kankuro's opinion?" Naruto asked, wondering if Gaara really thought that it was somehow more okay between brothers.

"It's my own opinion!" Gaara snapped, hurt that Naruto seemed to think he was like some manipulated victim.

He wasn't manipulated, even though he had believed in some of Kankuro's lies... maybe he still believed in some. And he wondered why he did—maybe it was because life just was easier if he followed his brother's opinions and wishes. That way, they rarely needed to fight.

Oh how he hated fights, even this little "fight" with Naruto now he hated. Was he really so manipulated? He didn't want to be... It sounded so cheap, so weak, _pitiful_. Maybe... just maybe if he'd try to see things in Naruto's way, he wouldn't be so pitiful anymore? Because he wanted no one's pity, least of all Naruto's.

"...or maybe it was his, I don't remember," Gaara cave in, realizing that maybe some of his opinions were really his brother's.

"Gaara..." Naruto whispered, care and love evident in his blue eyes as he looked at the redhead. "I care about you more than anything else in this world. I love you more than anything. I just want your best, okay? I don't want to hurt you or box you in, I only want to help you. Do you understand?"

A few moments passed in silence as Gaara thought about Naruto's words. Maybe his precious blond was right. Gaara exhaled deeply, feeling his heartbeat return to normal. Before, he had been crazed by fear, afraid because someone had really found out about the abuse. It had been frightening but now when Naruto spoke so softly, things didn't look so scary anymore.

"Yes. I'm sorry, this is all my fault," Gaara said quietly. It was really all his fault, it had to be. "If I hadn't been the way I am, Kankuro would have never wanted to... to be with me. It's my fault that he desires me, I know it. If... if I had been more repulsive, more undesirable, this would have never happened," Gaara confessed, looking down to his lap.

"No... No, Gaara, you're wrong. None of this is your fault, you understand? If there's a culprit, it's your brother. No matter how crazy he is, no matter how hard childhood he's had, it doesn't give him right to abuse his own brother, you got that?" Naruto said patiently, hoping that Gaara would resile the self-accusations. "Do you understand?"

"We're both as guilty," Gaara offered, knowing that there had to be something wrong with him because Kankuro wanted to bed him.

"No, don't give me that okay? There's nothing wrong with you, believe it! It's never your fault what's happened, never. You can be whatever you want to be, and still no one has the right to abuse you. No one," Naruto said firmly, staring at the redhead.

"So are you going to leave me now?" Gaara asked after a brief silence. In his mind, it would be the only logical outcome. No one would love a freak like him, that was for sure. He didn't deserve love, not after what he had let happen to himself.

"W-What? Leave you?" Naruto asked, confused. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I've c-cheated you with Kankuro..." Gaara whispered, slumping his shoulders and looking at his lap.

"Cheated? I... I hardly call this cheating, alright?" Naruto said, surprised at Gaara's way of thinking. "You're being _abused_, Gaara, you're a _victim_, okay? You're not cheating anyone." He continued, then stopped to think.

Gaara was still staring at his lap, like he was the greatest sinner in the world.

"Did Kankuro tell you that you're a cheater?" Naruto asked now with a soft, understanding voice.

Alarmed, Gaara turned to look at Naruto, scared how accurate questions the blond asked. Just how much about the truth could Naruto detect just by inspecting him?

"Not exactly..." Gaara started, but continued after a pause, "Well yes he did but he's right."

"No he isn't! You're a victim, nothing more! A victim, do you hear me? Look Gaara, I think you know what I mean but you just don't want to admit it all, am I right?" Naruto asked, looking expectantly at the redhead.

"Hn," was all he got for an answer. Deep in his mind, Gaara did know that partly, he was a victim. He knew how wrong Kankuro had done to him or how the brunette had no right to touch him the way he had. But it was another thing to admit these things to himself, in his mind, silently, when no one was around than to admit them to another person. Somehow, admitting aloud things like 'I'm a victim' made it all sound a hundred time more serious and a million times more wrong...

A long silence fell over them, and only the crackling of the firewood sounded in the quiet livingroom. Naruto tried to think of the right way to act after finding out something this shocking. Now that he knew the truth, a lot of things seemed more clear than before. But what should he do? Should he tell the police? If Kankuro was arrested, he couldn't hurt Gaara anymore. Maybe that would be the best...

"Tomorrow, we're going to the police station and—"

"NO!" Gaara yelled instantly, interrupting the blond.

"Never! No! Please, no! I'll do anything you want but please, not the police! I don't want any more problems for Kankuro, okay? Please!" Gaara begged hysterically, totally out of his normal cool demeanor. Sheer panic shone through his jade eyes as he stared into the deep blue pools of Naruto.

"Well okay..." Naruto said, even though he wasn't sure if he should. "But on two conditions. One, you'll move to live with me here."

Gaara nodded hesitantly, willing to do anything to stop Naruto from going to the police station.

"Two, if he ever hurts you again I'll tell the police right away. Okay?"

"It's a deal then," Gaara said, for he had no options. He wasn't sure if he wanted to move in with Naruto but he had clearly no saying in it, or otherwise Naruto would tell the police.

And that was something that could never happen.

"Look, I'll give you time to think these things over, alright?" Naruto suddenly said. "I think we should have some supper and tea now, it'll calm you down." With these words, Naruto patted Gaara gently on the shoulder and walked into the kitchen.

They ate in silence, but Gaara couldn't get his mind off of the current situation.

* * *

It was night already, but Gaara couldn't sleep.

Naruto snored loudly next to him, not anymore aware of the worries of the world. Gaara looked outside of the window into the starry, wintry sky and wondered how his brother was. Had Kankuro gotten safely home? Had he had another episode? Hopefully not...

Gaara yawned but couldn't go to sleep. The fear of telling Kankuro the news of moving in with Naruto kept him still awake. And the greater fear, of telling Kankuro that Naruto _knew_, gnawed at him. Tomorrow, he would have to face his brother and tell the news...

Knowing that he wasn't able to sleep, Gaara got up from the bed and walked to Naruto's drawer. He took out the blond's mp3-player and went into the livingroom. To his luck, Naruto also seemed to be a fan of Garbage, Gaara's favorite band, and in the mp3-player there were many songs of that band.

Listening to "Why do you love me" got Gaara thinking about their earlier conversation again. Naruto had said he wouldn't leave him, but how could he not? Gaara saw himself as disgusting, two-faced cheater and couldn't understand why someone as cheerful and sunny as Naruto could ever love someone like him.

"Why do you love me?" Gaara half-whispered, half sang in the darkness of the livingroom.

The cinders in the fireplace were still glowing a little, the only light in the darkness.

Just like Naruto was to him, Gaara thought.

* * *

**A/N: **_In the forest, Kankuro had shoes and jacket on because he was quick enough to put them on before he left the house. Besides, he has longer legs so it was easy for him to catch up Gaara, who had only slippery socks slowing him down._

_In the next chapter Temari visits Kankuro and Gaara. :P_


	13. A broken heart

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, incest, **ANGST**, AU, unbetaed.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

* * *

**A/N: **_Sorry that it took me so long to update! Please check out my profile page and see what beautiful pictures __**kathlaidaprincess**__ has drawn about this story! I'm eternally thankful to her. Also check out her stories! She's here on but also on deviantArt. And thanks to her for inspiring me and motivating me to write this story!_

_I know that during the story, Kankuro's character has changed from sympathetic to more cruel and demanding. I didn't intend to do that in the beginning, but as life is, I learned how utterly annoying people can be when they pester sex from you or (try to) force you into it. So, I no longer feel sympathy for people like Kankuro, and that's why, there's no reason for me to portray him as nice._

_

* * *

_**Chapter 13: A broken heart**

In the morning, Gaara was afraid to go home to tell the news to Kankuro. He was sure Kankuro would be extremely angry with him if the brunette found out that Gaara himself had revealed their secret. So, he would have to be very careful with his words.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Naruto asked in the hallway. "Maybe your brother wouldn't be so angry if there were two of us."

"No, it's better if I go alone. I have to face my own demons by myself," Gaara only said, hand on the doorknob.

"But what if he won't let you go? What if he tries to hurt you? Or what if he tries to... r-rape you again?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes dark with worry.

To that, Gaara didn't know what to say. Those things he feared himself, too, but he tried to not let the fear conquer him. What would he do if Kankuro really tried to hurt him?

"Well, let's do it this way: if you won't be back in an hour, I'll call the police immediately. Tell that to your brother and he will have to let you go," Naruto said, seriously. He would call the police, there was no chance he wouldn't if needed to.

"Okay," Gaara replied, feeling a little better now. He didn't like the idea of police meddling in his and Kankuro's life but it was the only option if Kankuro refused to let him go.

"I'll be going now," the redhead said, and headed to defy his brother, his intention to break the mental chains the brunette had created around him.

* * *

In the meanwhile, Temari was looking at his brother, a bit concerned. Kankuro looked like a mess, his hair uncombed and his clothes wrinkled. Under the brunette's eyes, there were dark areas, telling that Kankuro's insomnia was still an issue.

"So... How are you?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Never better," Kankuro replied. Just last night, he had been running in the forest with the teenagers.

Temari stayed silent, evaluating the sight before her. Kankuro had never been very open to her but had instead kept everything to himself. The brunette had also always been the one to take care of Gaara. In her heart, she felt a pang of guilt for abandoning his brothers like she had. But in the situation she had had back then, it had been the only possible solution.

In silence, Temari continued to inspect his brother and saw Kankuro emptying his coffee mug. Seeing how tired the brunette looked, Kankuro really needed the black, energizing liquid. Absent-mindedly, the brunette refilled his mug again and took a sip of the fresh coffee. To Temari, Kankuro looked even skinnier, gaunter and more tired now than before. What on earth had happened to him? Was taking care of Gaara really so wearing?

"Here's a 100$ for you, I think you need it," Temari offered Kankuro the money, staring at the brunette's worn off clothes. If she remembered right, Kankuro's clothes were the same she'd seen the last time she had visited his brothers, an year ago.

"I can't take it," Kankuro refused. He made enough money at the café already.

"Yes you can," Temari argued back, putting the money in his brother's hand.

"Well, thanks sis," the brunette replied, wrinkling the bill into the pocket of his black jeans. In his mind, he could already see what he could buy to Gaara. The redhead needed at least new jeans, a couple of new shirts and some sexy underwear. The last thought made him blush and he hoped that Temari wouldn't notice it. Or maybe he and Gaara should go to the movies, or to an amusement park. Yeah, that sounded like fun.

"Kankuro," Temari interrupted his musings. "That money is for _you_. You will use it to buy something nice for _yourself_."

"But—" Kankuro began.

"No buts. You always buy something for Gaara, don't you? When was the last time you used money for yourself?" Temari asked, and as she saw Kankuro scratch his head, she continued, "That's what I thought. So go and buy yourself something nice. The next time I see you I don't want to see you in those same, old clothes again. Got it?"

"Yeah I got it," Kankuro said quietly, thankful of his sister's kindness.

Right then, the front door clicked and steps could be heard from the hallway. Only seconds later, Gaara appeared into the kitchen.

"Oh, hi Temari!" he greeted, his jade eyes wide with surprise.

"Hello little brother!" Temari said sweetly and pulled the redhead into a hug. "I've missed you."

"Me, too," Gaara whispered as he pulled off of the hug. Seeing his sister always made him feel good, even though he felt bad that she had abandoned him and Kankuro like that a few years ago.

"So, now that Gaara's here, too, I think we can talk about the future," Temari said, and continued, "You're going to sell this house after Gaara graduates, aren't you?" Now, she was looking at Kankuro.

"Uh... Yeah I guess. After he gets out of school, we're gonna move into a student apartment and start studying at the university," Kankuro said, their futures all planned out in his mind.

Gaara's eyes widened at the plan, for he knew that Kankuro's utopia could never come true. Not if he moved in with Naruto, and he had to, for otherwise the blond would tell the police and that would be the end of Kankuro. But instead of opening his mouth, Gaara stayed silent.

"University, huh? Talk about high goals... Anyway, I presume I get one third of the money?" Temari asked, dollar bills in her eyes.

"Sure thing. But we've got one year until he graduates. We're in no hurry," Kankuro pointed out. Even though he didn't show it, he was afraid of the future and the university world.

"Well that's all settled, then," Temari said, closing the subject. Then she turned to Gaara, smiling. "How have you been, little bro? Got anyone special?" she asked, elbowing the redhead suggestively.

Gaara only blushed for an answer and from the corner of his eye, he could see Kankuro giving him a stern look.

"So who's the lucky girl?" Temari went on, unaware of the awkward situation she was creating for the brothers.

"He's a... boy," Gaara said quietly, looking at his toes. He could feel Kankuro's eyes boring into him right now.

"A boy? Well that's okay, I just never knew you were into... boys," Temari replied, patting Gaara on the shoulder.

"So how about you Kankuro, got anyone?" Temari asked, winking.

"You know I don't have time for stuff like that. I've got to work and take care of Gaara, I have no time for girlfriends," Kankuro snapped, hiding the fact that he wasn't into girls but into young boys instead.

"Gaara doesn't need babying, Kankuro. You take too good care of him, anyway," Temari argued.

"I'm not babying him!" Kankuro argued back, getting angry. "If you had stayed instead of leaving us like that, you would know!"

A hurt expression came to Temari's face at the stinging words. She looked down, her facial features darkening, and stayed silent.

"...I'm sorry," Kankuro managed. He hadn't meant to sound so rude.

"No... it's okay," Temari said quietly, the pain evident in her heart again. "I should go anyway. My bus to Suna leaves in ten minutes and I better hurry."

"Oh," was all Kankuro said, for he couldn't fathom anything else. To be honest, it wasn't a big surprise to him that Temari would leave as quickly as she had appeared.

Gaara wanted her to stay longer, but didn't dare to open his mouth. Kankuro was giving him a meaningful glance, telling that they needed to talk after their sister left.

"Well," Temari said as she walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway. "It was sure nice seeing you two," she continued, her voice already cheerful. She put her hand on the doorknob, opening it.

"Bye bye," she said from the front door.

"Bye..." both the brothers said in unison.

After that the blond woman closed the front door and was out of their lives, again.

Kankuro sighed and ran a hand through his messy brown hair. Temari's surprise visit was actually nice, but all along he had feared that their clever sister would find something out of ordinary and suspect abuse. Was he getting paranoid already? It sure felt like that sometimes.

From the corner of his eye, Kankuro could see Gaara staring at him. He turned to face the redhead, frowning, as the jade eyes reflected hopelessness and fear. Something wasn't right...

"What?" he asked, a sense of unsettlement coming over him.

"He knows, Kankuro," Gaara said, an expression of utter hopelessness on his face.

"Say that again," Kankuro whispered, slowly closing in on Gaara. Anger caused by fear was building inside of him.

"He... He knows," Gaara said, backing away.

"But you know that he can't know," Kankuro said in an ominously calm voice.

"Yes," Gaara said as his back came in contact with the hallway wall.

"So how come he knows?" Kankuro asked calmly, a predatory look in his hopelessly black eyes.

"Uh... he... he guessed it," Gaara tried to lie, for he feared that Kankuro would murder him if he told his brother that _he himself_ had revealed their secret.

"No one just guesses things like that, not the blondie anyway. He's not that smart," Kankuro said. "_You_ told him, didn't you!" he then spat venomously and gripped Gaara's hair.

"No I didn't, I swear!" Gaara tried, afraid that Kankuro would seriously hurt him this time.

"I don't believe you! Why did you tell him something as dangerous as that!" Kankuro growled, hurt and disappointed. Fear was gnawing at him, eating away his sanity moment by moment.

"I... I..." Gaara tried, opening his mouth like a fish.

"Yes?" Kankuro asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I had to get it off my chest!" Gaara finally confessed, a pained expression on his face as he looked straight into his big brother's eyes. "I just couldn't keep it all inside of me, not anymore..."

For a moment, everything was silent.

"What did you tell him?" Kankuro then asked sternly, his grip on the red hair tightening. "Did you cry to him, telling heartbrokenly how bad I am to you? What lies did you tell him, Gaara?"

"No! I... I told him that deep inside, you're a good person. That I love you. And that I don't want any more problems to you," Gaara blurted out. His scalp was hurting and he could feel his eyes starting to water because of the pain.

Kankuro's eyes only narrowed for an answer.

"... And I told him how you protected me when we were children," Gaara added, hoping that his brother wouldn't be too mad at him.

"You stupid boy," Kankuro spat, and pushed Gaara's head against the wall, causing the younger male let out an 'oof'.

"Why did you have to tell the truth? Couldn't you lie! Why the hell didn't you for example tell him that you ran away from home because you were abused, for example, by our uncle, and you now suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder? That you were having a psychotic episode and I ran after you, because you were totally mad? Did it even cross your little mind?" Kankuro spoke angrily, totally disappointed in his little brother. Gaara if anybody didn't know how to lie properly.

"But I..." Gaara began. He had had to get it all off his chest! Why couldn't his brother see that?

"But what, Gaara? Did you also tell him that you wanted it, too, that you were my partner in crime? Did you?" Kankuro asked, not willing to be the only one at fault.

"Did you tell him how much you wanted it, _needed_ it? And did you tell him how you always moaned for me, begged for me to continue, begged for me to _touch_ you? Yeah, did you tell him that?" Kankuro asked, his eyes sharp.

"What? But it was _you_ who abused me! You raped me in the shower back then!" Gaara defended himself, surprised that his brother was trying to blame him.

"Alright, maybe once I did it to you against your will but all the other times you wanted it with me!" Kankuro shouted.

"There were many times when I didn't want it!" Gaara argued back, his voice raising.

"Well I'm sorry!" Kankuro growled, "But you always enjoyed it in the end. And how was I supposed to keep my hands off of you when you dress up so seductively? You wear tight jeans and tight shirts and have that emo look on yourself, it's like there was a sign above your head that reads 'DO ME'!" Kankuro defended himself.

"But you have no right, Naruto said so!" Gaara yelled, feeling self-conscious now because of his way of dressing.

"Oh shut up, you know it's not that easy," Kankuro said, his eyes like endless tunnels as he stared at the redhead.

"Kankuro..." Gaara began, looking at his toes. The part he feared the most was coming now.

"I... I'm going to move in with Naruto."

"... WHAT!" Kankuro barked, his black eyes dark as night with no stars. "What did you just say?"

"I'm moving in with Naruto because he—"

"No you're not!" Kankuro shouted angrily. No one was going to take Gaara away from him, least of all the stupid blondie.

"But otherwise he'll tell the police!" Gaara yelled, desperate.

"I'm going talk to him, after that he won't be telling anything to anybody," Kankuro said threateningly, as he headed for the front door.

"No! I won't let you hurt him!" Gaara said angrily, standing up for his precious blond. Nobody, least of all Kankuro, was going to hurt Naruto.

"Oh, I wouldn't _hurt_ him, I would just... _persuade_ him in ways he'd never forget," Kankuro said slyly, a glint in his eyes.

"No! If you do as much as touch him, then _I'll_ tell the police about everything!" Gaara said in a serious voice. He would do that for Naruto's sake, that was for sure. Now in his life, he wanted to protect Naruto more than Kankuro.

"You? You wouldn't do such a thing, Gaara..." Kankuro answered a hint of fear in his voice.

"I would for him! Now let him be!" Gaara said sternly.

"Fine! But make sure that he won't be telling anybody about this, you got that?" Kankuro spat angrily.

"I trust him! I'm sure he won't tell anyone, as long as I move in with him," Gaara promised.

"That won't happen, and you know it!" Kankuro growled.

"But I have to move in with him, can't you see that—" Gaara began.

"NO! You're not moving in with anyone, without my permission. And I'm not giving you away to the stupid blondie, you got that?" Kankuro raged, his voice so loud it probably could be heard outside the house, too.

"But they will take you away, Naruto _will _tell the police if—" Gaara began again.

"I know that!" Kankuro shouted. He then closed his eyes and took a deep, wavering breath. When he exhaled and looked at Gaara again, something had changed in his eyes. "But I've got a plan." Now, a devious smile was on his face and Gaara didn't like it at all.

"No plans, Kankuro," Gaara said cautiously, backing away to the front door. His own personal plan was now to run away as soon as he could.

"Did you really think that you could escape from me, after all these years?" Kankuro said in an ominously calm voice, as he took steps towards Gaara. "Did you really think that I'd let you go, just like that?"

"Kankuro, stop," Gaara commanded. Behind his back, his other hand was already on the door knob.

"No, you stop. Stop striving away from me all the time. I've given you everything you could ever need, and still, even now, you must be thinking a way to get away from me. That's not proper love, Gaara... Haven't I taught you what love is?"

And then, Gaara turned quietly the door knob and the door opened a little, but not before Kankuro had seized his little brother's arm, his claws sinking to the black fabric.

"Don't you know that it's not smart to try that right in front of me!" Kankuro snapped and pushed the door closed again, blocking Gaara's final escape route.

"But I have to go, otherwise they'll take you away!" Gaara yelled, in utter hopelessness. Why couldn't his brother see that it was inevitable for him to move in with Naruto?

"Nobody is going to take me away from you," Kankuro said sternly, and started to drag Gaara towards the kitchen. "I already told you I've got a plan."

"No, Kankuro, no!" Gaara said, wriggling to get free.

For an answer, Kankuro's grip only tightened.

"You see," Kankuro began as he took a knife, "I always feared we would end up to this."

Gaara stared at the blade and could see his brother's reflection. But it wasn't Kankuro's sane side that was in there, it was something much more twisted and much more horrifying.

"End up to w-what?" Gaara asked a cautious question.

"To this..." Kankuro answered, and put the blade to his little brother's throat, smiling like a madman.

"NO!" Gaara shouted, his body shaking from fear. The blade was cold against his skin and oh, so sharp it already hurt a bit. He didn't want this, not this way!

"Yes. You'll go first since if I die before you, you'll just run away, won't you?" Kankuro said dead seriously, his earlier smile now gone.

"We don't have to die," Gaara tried, realizing that this was the most serious episode Kankuro had ever had. Never before had Kankuro directly threatened his life.

"But can't you see... we're already dead," Kankuro said, almost sounding like a poet. "_You_ killed us when you revealed our secret to the blondie."

Realizing that talking was futile with the brunette, Gaara summoned all his courage. He wanted to live, he wanted desperately to live with Naruto, and that he would do or die trying. Looking one last time to Kankuro's mad black eyes, he lifted his knee and hit his brother's groin with such force he didn't even know he had.

"Ouch!" Kankuro growled and he had to drop the knife and let go of Gaara, so much it hurt! Sooner than he could even recognize, someone hit him hard on the head and all went black...

* * *

Slowly, Kankuro opened his eyes. Everything was blurred at first but soon his gaze sharpened.

It was dark now, the sun had set long ago. That meant that he had lost several hours.

Then, he remembered what he had been about to do before this blackness. Usually he only remembered fragments of his episodes, but this he remembered clearly: he had been about to kill his little brother!

Tears came to his eyes as he realized what a monster he was. No wonder Gaara had escaped in such a way.

What would happen next, he asked himself. One thing was clear, though. Gaara would never look him the same way as before all this. No, there would be always fear mixed in the emotions in the jade eyes after this. And that thought alone made Kankuro cry.

After two hours of crying, Kankuro wiped his eyes and tried to stop. God, how he hated his life. The only light he had ever had was now gone and there was nothing left. He felt like he was alone in the darkness, alone with his memories and the haunting nightmares that descended from his childhood.

Nothing good was left in him, not anymore when Gaara wasn't around. He wasn't needed anymore, he was worthless and forsaken. Nobody needed him, not even he himself. What good had it given him to sacrifice himself over his ungrateful little brother? In the end, Gaara had left him for some stupid blondie and refused to go on with their secret anymore. To Kankuro, it had felt like Gaara was _relieved_ to move in with the blondie. It felt like Gaara was _relieved_ to get away from him.

God, how it hurt.

Kankuro gripped his hair, pulled it, to cause some pain. He needed pain, it was good pain. It distracted him from the truth and from his thoughts. But he needed more, more pain. He needed it so badly that it tore his heart, tore his soul to little bitter bits and pieces. He got up and left the kitchen, ending up in the hallway. He looked himself at the mirror and saw his gaunt reflection looking back at him.

Was he really so repulsive, that Gaara didn't want to be with him anymore? Was that the case? Was that why Gaara had refused to be with him, because the redhead thought him undesirable? Was he too fat? For the blondie sure was skinnier than he himself was. Deciding that he would dramatically decrease his eating, he went back to the kitchen.

Everything reminded him about Gaara. The kitchen table, the chairs, even the carpets did.

Oh, it was hell.

And he hated it, hated that he missed his ungrateful little brother. His heart was broken, and he had never ever believed that it could hurt so much. And it was then he remembered the good pain, how it helped him, and he opened the kitchen cupboard doors. There were plenty of cooking ware and glasses, mugs and plates—all reminding him about Gaara and all the occasions they had eaten together.

With a sudden surge of anger, as he remembered Gaara's smiling face, he crashed all the breakable wares to the ground, until nothing was left but little pieces.

Just like his broken heart.

He dropped to his knees, and scrabbled the broken pieces, searching for the sharpest ones. He found a piece of glass that reminded him of a heart, a deformed heart, but a heart nevertheless. And wasn't his love for Gaara a bit malformed, too, for it was sick and twisted, it had all along been, but he had always denied it until now.

With one single, swift movement he opened his left wrist with the heart-shaped glass and watched as the red blood started to trickle down to the ground. It felt so relieving, almost purifying, to bleed. It felt so _right_. He felt like deserving it, yet at the same time he thought that Gaara should see it, too, for the ungrateful redhead had broken his heart.

He opened his right wrist, too, and looked as his both hands bled, like two red rivers running down to the ground. Only a little deeper, and it would mean his end.

Only a little deeper...

But he was afraid, afraid of the pain and afraid of dying. Why should he live? Gaara needed him no more. Temari didn't need him, either. Nobody would miss him, he was certain of that. Maybe he was smart and could get a good education, and plenty of money, but what did all that matter if his heart was broken?

His heart was so broken, that he could never believe it would heal again.

Unless the blondie died, and Gaara came back to him. But even then, he couldn't trust the redhead like before, not after today. His precious Gaara was gone, gone forever, and Kankuro clutched his chest, gripping his black shirt.

But why should he die?

Because life was rotten, because people were untrustworthy and deceitful, because Kankuro was sure that tomorrow morning, the sun wouldn't get up like before.

But those reasons weren't still enough for him, and he watched as the wounds on his wrists slowly healed up, against his will. The blood didn't run like before, it only trickled pathetically.

And it reminded him how pathetic he himself was, but his excuse was a broken heart.

* * *

In hurry, Gaara had gathered most of his belongings from the cellar and had of course gone running to Naruto's place. Or should he say, to his new home, for that's what it was.

It really felt strange to Gaara, to be not abused anymore. It had just ended. And it was then he remembered that Kankuro had tried to hurt him seriously this time. He had tried to kill him!

It hurt like nothing before.

Gaara looked at his minimal belongings: a toothbrush, a few paintings (plus the painting of Naruto), few clothes, Naruto's orange jacket (the one he'd confiscated from the blond in autumn) and his school bag. Almost everything about them reminded him of Kankuro, especially some of the paintings. But even though they were painted in rage of being forced to incest, they still somehow made him miss his older brother.

For the abuse aside, Kankuro had been a decent or even a good caretaker. The brunette had always made sure that Gaara ate enough, he had always taken care that Gaara was properly dressed, while neglecting his own needs.

It was all over now. Nothing was left. The future was scary.

"Uh... Hey, is everything okay?" Naruto asked as he entered the livingroom, even though he knew that things were probably far from being okay. Since Gaara had arrived ten minutes ago, he had given the redhead his space and time to think about things. He hadn't barged in with his worries and questions.

Because Gaara had rang the doorbell so calmly, Naruto had thought that everything had gone well with Kankuro. He had feared that the Gaara's big brother would've followed the redhead here, or that Kankuro would've tried to hurt Gaara. But since Gaara had arrived with his belongings so calmly, Naruto thought that everything had gone well.

Gaara looked at his now common law husband. He wanted to tell him how Kankuro had tried to kill him in a surge of insane rage but couldn't find the words.

Naruto was standing in front of the sofa, too nervous to sit down. He watched as the redhead's mouth was slightly open, as if he was trying to find the words. "Hey, you can tell me," Naruto assured with gentle voice, looking straight into the glistening jade orbs.

"He tried to kill me!" Gaara suddenly burst out, hurt evident in his words.

"He WHAT?" Naruto exclaimed, alarmed. He was so shocked that he had to sit down.

"He... He put a knife to my throat and for a moment there I thought it would be my end," Gaara said in a shaking voice. Before now, he had acted through his logic and reason but now, when he allowed his feelings to come to the surface, he was becoming more and more emotional.

"He put a knife to your throat?" Naruto repeated, shocked.

"But then I kicked him in the groin and hit him hard on the head with a frying pan, so that he fainted, and I ran," Gaara told his story, pulling his knees to his chest. He felt so lonely and vulnerable at the moment. What if Kankuro would try to come here after he woke up?

"We have to tell the police, now," Naruto said seriously, and took a cell phone out of the pocket of his jeans.

"No!" Gaara said sternly. "He doesn't need police or jail, what he needs is help."

"But the police would see he's not mentally stable and put him to some psychiatric ward," Naruto tried.

"No, that would be like a jail to him! Can't you understand that I don't want anyone to take him away!" Gaara raised his voice. He had had a vague feeling that Naruto would try to play this 'police card'.

"But he's not a safe adult. You can't be around him anymore. And even when he's sane he'll just try to abuse you again," Naruto pointed out, stroking Gaara's back in order to calm down his boyfriend.

"But he needs me, still. Even though I live with you now I need to check on him every other day," Gaara said, grateful that Naruto touched him in such a calming way.

"What I'm afraid is that he'll try to abuse you while you check on him. Abusers are like that. And what if he tries to kill you again?" Naruto asked the heavy questions. His face was grim as he looked at the redhead.

"Oh... this all is so confusing!" Gaara sighed. "And tiring. Maybe I shouldn't have told you at all, that way he would've never tried to hurt me like this."

"You did the right thing when you told me!" Naruto was quick to tell. He patted the redhead on the shoulder. "Besides, he might've left you anyway once you'd become... too old," Naruto said, as if fearing to voice out his opinion.

"What!" Gaara asked and turned to stare at the blond. He had never believed Kankuro would've left him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Naruto apologized, looking down to his toes.

"You mean... He would've dumped me eventually anyway?" Gaara asked, surprised. No, his brother couldn't be like that.

"Well that's what most abusers do, to my knowledge," Naruto said. "They seek out new victims."

"Kankuro won't seek out anyone after me," Gaara defended his brother. He was actually hurt to even think that someone else would someday take his place, no matter how twisted it sounded.

"But he might," Naruto said quietly.

"We have a history. He won't accept anyone but me!" Gaara snapped, not realizing how defensive he was acting.

"I knew you'd take it that way," Naruto said, patting Gaara on the shoulder again. "But honestly, do you think he'd ever be able to be in a normal, balanced relationship?"

As Naruto saw Gaara slowly shake his head, he continued. "That's right. From what you told me about his childhood, he's far too traumatized to lead a normal life. Deep down, it's not his fault, but he'll just seek out new victims."

"That's not true!" Gaara almost cried. He couldn't explain it, but it felt like Kankuro was already cheating on him.

"Well it's just one scenario out of many others," Naruto tried to ease his boyfriend's pain. "I know how you must be feeling now. But remember, he's not your ex-boyfriend or anything, he's your _abuser_. It's _his_ fault if you can't be sexually healthy ever again."

Now, Gaara only stared at Naruto, unshed tears glinting in his jade eyes. He couldn't say anything, not anymore. All the feelings were just too much, they were too intense to bear.

And so he collapsed on Naruto's arms, letting it all out and crying, crying like he had never before.

* * *

Kankuro wasn't happy at all.

Rage and disappointment burned inside of him, gnawing at his torn heart. Unshed tears were almost streaming from his eyes but he refused to cry them—he had already cried enough.

How could've Gaara done this to him? How could've Gaara chosen the stupid, utterly annoying blondie over him, his big brother? Kankuro couldn't understand.

And he couldn't understand what had been so bad for Gaara in living with him. He had always protected Gaara from everything, from the outside world and from other people. What was wrong with it that he had made all the choices for Gaara? Life had been easy for the redhead. He had isolated his little brother, knowing that their horrible secret would bring Gaara apart from normal people and change the redhead's personality for eternity, helping Kankuro to control the redhead.

But it was all trivial now, for Gaara was forever gone. The stupid blondie had succeeded in bringing Gaara out of Kankuro's carefully prepared isolation, and this was the result.

Kankuro gripped his hair, pulled them and let out a horrible scream, sounding like some beast in agony. Everything was just too much at the moment. Gaara's absence was too much to bear, as well as the knowledge that Gaara now had someone else.

With these bitter thoughts, Kankuro felt the familiar darkness overpower him. Tendril-like feelings slithered along his body and mind, dragging him into the never-ending blackness of insanity.

"Ha ha haa... AAHAHAA!" Kankuro suddenly screamed and collapsed to the ground, because laughing out loud somehow eased the unbearable pain.

Everything was so goddamn funny at the moment. It was sure funny how Gaara had at first cheated at him with the stupid blondie, and then created a situation where Kankuro was left alone.

"Ahaha haa," Kankuro laughed bitterly again, but this time unwished tears streamed down to his cheeks.

It sure was funny how he had been abused since he could remember, by their uncle, in this dark little house. It was funny how he had found his meaning of life through Gaara, the most precious person in his life. And it made him laugh again that now that redhead was somewhere else, with someone else.

"AAAAHhh...!"

And it made him scream, that he was now alone in this dark little house, alone with all the pains of past and present, alone with the memories of good and bad times.

Kankuro thought about the knives in the kitchen, coldened tears still on his cheeks. Somehow the idea of hurting himself for good felt fascinating... He was appealed by the idea of the cold steel's soft cutting on his skin, bringing him peace for eternity.

Going deeper into his musings, Kankuro tried to direct his thoughts away from the tempting knives. Maybe he shouldn't do anything too dramatic, for what if something serious would happen to the blondie? Where would Gaara then go? Yes... he would crawl back here. Then he, Kankuro, would be needed again. And that thought made Kankuro really hope that Naruto would die, just so that he could get Gaara back.

Kankuro's train of thought went deeper to himself, deeper into his past, as he willed himself to stop thinking about the annoying blondie. It would do no good to constantly think about the nuisance that had come to ruin his life.

When it came to life in general, Kankuro realized that in his own life, he had failed in many ways. Most importantly, he had failed as a brother. He had promised Gaara to protect him but ended up abusing him and putting him through unacceptable things. He hated himself for it but had been powerless to stop it. He had needed to do it, he had wanted it, yet he had always secretly detested it.

He had failed as a son, too, for he had never done anything right in his father's eyes. None of the siblings had in fact, so he wasn't alone in that matter. He had tried to act as model son but it had proved to be impossible. After their uncle had died, Kankuro had told their father about the abuse. Their father had blamed Kankuro for it, accusing him for driving their uncle insane and enchanting him into doing sin. Tears came to Kankuro's eyes again. What a lunatic had their father been, not to mention their uncle.

One thing he believed he had ever done right in his life was when he had protected Gaara from Yashamaru. He had done his everything to stop their uncle going into Gaara's room, sacrificing himself instead.

But what did that sacrifice mean anymore, when Gaara had still ended up being molested, not by their uncle though, but by his brother? Kankuro hung his head. In the end, the only thing he had done right in his life lay now scattered before him, ruined by himself.

When their uncle had finally been out of their lives, Kankuro had sworn he would never let any of the things he had been through to happen to Gaara. He believed he could have kept the promise if he had given a chance to repair himself. Their father had denied the need of a psychiatrist, saying it was too expensive and what was more important, that Kankuro didn't need one—for he had wooed their uncle and after that, misinterpreted his tokens of love as abusing.

If afterlife existed, Kankuro was sure he would go to hell. The fact didn't bother him, for his life so far had been a hell of a kind and some more torturing after death would mean nothing to him.

These heavy thoughts were enough to put Kankuro through a psychotic episode. And so from the depths of his troubled mind, a sly yet familiar voice started whispering to him.

"To give them what they gave me. To revenge!" Kankuro mumbled even though he was alone in the house.

"Yes... I will do it," he then said in a louder voice, talking to the voice inside of him.

And right away, Kankuro stood up and headed for the attic. There would be what he needed. In less than a minute, he was there rummaging through some old junk and a large pile of boxes.

"No, no... I don't need that or that," he mumbled as he lifted some of the boxes away.

"Where the hell is it!" he then snapped to himself and threw away the box he had been holding. The stuff that had been stored away in it flew across the dusty attic floor.

"Ah, here!" Kankuro almost laughed glee in his voice. He was holding a red canister that had 'kerosene' printed on its side. On the corner, there were a few similar canisters, all containing the same liquid.

They were a part of their Father's estate, probably meant for the lawn mower. But as time had gone on, both Kankuro and Gaara had forgotten the canisters there, as well as the mowing of the lawn.

The first room he spilt kerosene in was the bathroom—from there everything had started for in there, he had at first been with Gaara. The second room was the kitchen, for it held most of the good memories—their meals together, they doing homework together and so on. Now, those good times were gone and to mark that, Kankuro threw one canister onto the floor where it emptied its contents onto the carpets.

Third came his own bedroom, then Gaara's bedroom. After those two places were soiled with kerosene, he moved to their Father's room. Again, he made the same preparations, as well as he did for Temari's former room that was nowadays empty.

Now, Kankuro had spilt kerosene to all the rooms in the house except to the ominous cellar. He was standing at the cellar doorway, looking down at the stairs that eventually vanished into the darkness of the windowless room.

Gaara had lived in there, until this day. The cellar was now no one's home, it was empty. Kankuro closed his eyes. Uncle Yashamaru had abused him in there. No one had heard his screams of help, thanks to the thick walls. No one had heard him cry in pain, nor had anyone heard how he had pleaded the older male to stop.

Tears were streaming down his cheeks again, thanks to the old pain. He inhaled and summoned all his powers, opening his eyes, and threw the half-full kerosene canister down the stairs into the blackness.

Now everything was ready.

"To give them what they gave me," Kankuro mumbled. Yes, they had burned his world down, Yashamaru, Father and now Gaara. And what could he do? He could at least burn their worlds down, the way he could. He would burn down the memories that still lingered in this disgusting house. He would burn away their energy that still existed in the dusty corners where sun didn't shine.

Kankuro looked at the packet of matches in his hand, and smiled slightly.

"I did it as you said," Kankuro talked to the voice inside of him. And the voice smiled, telling him he was a good boy.

Smiling wickedly back, Kankuro struck a match.

* * *

It was an evening already and the sun had set. Naruto and Gaara were on the bed, under the blanket, not because they were tired but because it felt safe and cozy. They had a flashlight with them so that they could see each other.

It had been several hours since Gaara had arrived, and both of the teenagers were now pretty sure that Kankuro wouldn't try to come inside in some insane rage. Both of them were now more relaxed than before, but Gaara still had a subconscious fear of Kankuro coming after him.

But Gaara's fearfulness was slowly melting away by the warmth that relaxed his tense muscles. As always, the fireplace in the living room was lit and it radiated warmness to all rooms in the small house. The bedroom they were in was like a comfortable nest, and Gaara felt like he and Naruto were invisible under the blanket. No one could see them, and it felt safe.

"I never thought that things would lead into this," Naruto said, "when I first set my eyes on you."

"What did you think, then?" Gaara asked, curious, as he looked into the blond's dark blue orbs. Naruto's eyes always seemed to grow darker when he was deep in thought.

"First of all, I thought you'd be a hetero. But then I cheered up and thought that even if so, we could still be friends," Naruto said and smiled sadly.

Staring into the deep blue eyes, Gaara sank into his own thoughts. He wasn't sure what his sexual orientation would've been if he hadn't been abused. But now, he felt attracted to a person, to Naruto, and it didn't matter to him what gender the target of his love was. Naruto just happened to be a boy and it felt natural to be around him, to love him and to kiss him.

"You've been lonely for all these years, haven't you?" Gaara asked, giving the blond's cheek a soft caress.

As Naruto only nodded for an answer, Gaara went on, "I've been lonely too with all my secrets, I just now realized it."

"Secrets drive you away from other people," Naruto knew to say. "And in the end, all you can think about is the fear of someone getting wind of what you try to hide." Naruto stared at Gaara for awhile and then continued. "I know now that it was because of your secret that you were so hard to approach at first. You were afraid I'd find out. And I did, eventually. But as you can see, everything's all right now."

"Everything's not alright, Naruto. I'm worried about Kankuro," Gaara pointed out.

"Which reminds me, we should tell the police as soon as possible," Naruto said. He wasn't going to give up on this matter.

"Not today at least. Maybe tomorrow," Gaara said quietly, inspecting the shadows on the blond's face. He had been thinking about telling the police but it felt like a betrayal. Partly, he knew that if they told the police, Kankuro would get help. But he would also be punished from his doings.

And tomorrow was Monday. How much had happened in just one weekend! Gaara had hard time believing it all was true. Then it came to him that he had promised to talk to Kiba on Monday. Or rather, he would let his fists talk. But Naruto didn't need to know that.

"Okay, tomorrow we'll call the police. It will be safer for us if Kankuro's not around us," Naruto said, pointing out the truth. Now, he didn't trust the brunette at all. Kankuro could try to do anything, and if he was under surveillance in some psychiatric ward, he could do no harm for them.

"You might be right," Gaara only said. "But let's talk about something else. I feel that my head explodes if I think about him all the time."

"Of course, I understand you precisely," Naruto assured. He then turned off the flashlight, leaving them in total darkness. "I can understand your pain."

In the blackness, Naruto came closer to Gaara, wrapping his arms around the redhead. Gaara responded by entwining Naruto in the hug, too, they being so close that their lips almost touched.

"I don't know what to say," Gaara breathed. It felt like all he could talk about was his brother and his current worries about the future.

Giving a soft kiss, Naruto then started to speak—or sing—in a whispered voice.

_"When the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
Said I'll always be a friend  
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out till the end_

_Now that it's raining more than ever  
Know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella"_

It was a song Gaara didn't know, but it sounded beautiful and calming. Naruto then continued his whisper-like singing that sounded almost ghostly in the darkness.

"_You can run into my arms  
It's okay don't be alarmed  
Come here to me  
There's no distance in between our love  
So go on and let the rain pour  
I'll be all you need and more"_

As Naruto stopped to sing, a long silence followed.

"It was beautiful," Gaara finally whispered. It never ceased to amaze him how Naruto could express his feelings on so many levels: by singing, by gestures, by words... Gaara himself, he could've never even thought of singing his feelings to anyone.

He wanted to eternally bath in the light Naruto shone around. The blond was his own personal sun. Whereas Kankuro had been drowning Gaara in darkness, Naruto did just the opposite.

It was figuratively raining heavily now down on them, because troubles like Kankuro (and Kiba) just didn't fade away, and Gaara imagined himself and Naruto under a large umbrella. The blanket felt like that umbrella to him. Together, they were stronger against the world's storms and rocky roads. Together, they could make the figurative rain stop and make the sun shine again.

And right then, Gaara realized that this was the first day of his different, new life. In that life he wasn't abused anymore but loved in a normal and pure way. In that new life, he wasn't being manipulated, controlled or isolated, but encouraged to show his real feelings and needs.

"Thank you," Gaara said, as he realized that this was all because of Naruto.

"For what?" Naruto asked, oblivious of the redhead's train of thought.

"For... saving me," Gaara replied, using the term that had first come into his mind.

"No, you saved yourself. It wasn't me who told your brother that it was all over. It wasn't me who kicked Kankuro in the groin and escaped. I only offered you support and love, and people who receive those things, make great things. So you should thank yourself, for driving your brother away. It was you who was strong," Naruto said.

"Your love made me strong. But Kankuro's love made me weak," Gaara said, still a bit confused about the concept of love.

"That's because his love was tainted. His goal was to keep you under control so that you wouldn't try to leave him. My love for you isn't like that, my love will make you stronger," Naruto replied. "Think about it as some sort of remedy."

"Hn," Gaara only said in the darkness. They were still very close to each other and their breaths mingled. Giving a soft kiss to blond, Gaara wondered what Naruto wanted now that they lived together.

As the kiss ended, Naruto engaged them into another kiss. But this was more fiery and more passionate than the first one.

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered as they broke apart. In the darkness no one saw it but his cheeks were burning. This felt so right, so pure, yet at the same time, Gaara was cautious of how he should proceed. Only hours ago, his brother had tried to kill him and that alone made his spirits sink. But then again, in Naruto's presence he always seemed to forget those bad things of his life.

"We should shower and then go to sleep. Tomorrow's a school day, after all," Naruto suddenly said. He wasn't sure where their kissing would lead, and he was sure that Gaara wasn't ready yet to anything more sexual, not after the happenings of today.

"Oh," Gaara said, almost disappointed. But then, after a brief moment of silence, he asked, "Can we go together?"

"To the shower?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Yes," Gaara whispered, his hot breath hitting against Naruto's lips.

"Uh... O-Okay," Naruto stuttered. He hadn't expected this, not so soon. If they went together to the shower, he would see Gaara fully naked for the first time. The idea excited Naruto, and he could feel the lower regions of his body responding to the idea.

Gaara broke them free of the warm blanket's embrace, and suddenly it felt cold for the both of them. Getting off of the bed, they took some clean clothes and headed for the bathroom.

They stripped their clothes in silence. Naruto was blushing heavily as he now stood there, wearing only his boxers on. He knew there was bulge in his underwear already and he was ashamed. But he loved Gaara and felt attracted to him, how else would his body respond to that?

Gaara was already naked and Naruto noticed that the redhead was unaffected by their nakedness. It made Naruto feel even more embarrassed as he slowly freed himself and his erection from the safety of the boxers.

"I'm sorry... I can't help it," Naruto said shyly and looked away as Gaara took him by the hand.

"It's only normal," Gaara assured, even though he knew very little of normalcy. He led his boyfriend to the shower space and drew the shower curtain closed. He then let the warm water run down freely on them, and it felt like heaven after the moments of cold.

Naruto's face was red as a tomato and he kept his gaze averted. He let out a small gasp, however, when Gaara's body accidentally brushed against his erection.

Instantly, the jade eyes were locked on the blue, wide ones, as Gaara turned to Naruto. Pale hands cupped the whiskered cheeks as their lips met, engaging them both in a deep kiss. Naruto had to let out a sigh of pleasure as Gaara pressed his body against him, kissing him. And he let out another gasp as he felt the redhead's growing erection against his own. So, Gaara enjoyed this, too.

"G-Gaara..." Naruto whispered, blushing. His blue eyes weren't wide anymore but half-closed. This all felt so wonderful! Gaara was kissing him while caressing his body, and the hot water kept on raining down on them. Naruto couldn't help but rub his own erection against Gaara's, so intense were his feelings.

And right then, Naruto remembered the time when he had pleasured Gaara and the redhead had suddenly turned away, pleading him to stop. That Naruto wanted to never happen again, and so he broke their kiss, taking a serious expression to his face.

"W-We shouldn't... Not so soon," Naruto said.

Gaara gave the blond a studying gaze, before whispering, "Let me decide what I want and what I don't want."

Then, the redhead engaged them into another passionate kiss, that was broken by the blond, though.

"No... I don't think this is wise. I don't want it, this way," Naruto explained and took a step back. He wanted Gaara so badly it almost hurt, but it just felt that this wasn't the right time for them to take a step further.

"I'm sorry," Gaara apologized, feeling that he had tried to force his precious Naruto. He never wanted to do that. Absentmindedly, he took the soap and started to clean himself. His feelings sank as he thought that he had yet again acted abnormally.

Naruto seemed to notice this change in the redhead, for the tanned hand came to rest on the pale shoulder, squeezing it.

"I'm sorry, too. I just mean that... I do want you! It's not about that. I just think that we were proceeding a bit too fast here," Naruto told his beloved boyfriend. "Remember what happened when I touched you back then and—"

"DON'T mention it!" Gaara suddenly snapped, his jade eyes narrowed and cold.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, the jade eyes holding a hurt look whereas the blue orbs were wide and surprised.

"I— I'm sorry!" Naruto stuttered, gaping.

"Here's the soap," Gaara grunted and put the piece of soap to Naruto's hand. He then turned away to wash himself.

"Uh... Thanks," Naruto mumbled and started cleaning himself. He hadn't guessed that he had brought up such a touchy subject. But from now on, he decided he would try to be more discreet.

Gaara moved away from under the shower to give the space to Naruto, so that the blond could wash himself. They did this in silence, for neither of them found anything clever or useful to say.

And in silence they dried themselves, and after that, they dressed. They put on their normal clothes, for it was still too early to wear pajamas.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up the subject," Naruto finally said, looking sincerely into the calm jade orbs.

"Never mind about it. I just don't want to talk about it," Gaara replied. "It's not your fault what's happened to me."

Soon they were sitting on the living room and reading Naruto's music magazines. To Gaara's pleasure, one of the magazines had his favorite band's interview. The fire crackled in the fireplace like always, it was so quiet...

Suddenly, the loud noise of emergency vehicles broke the silence as the cars drove past Naruto's little house. The vehicles stopped nearby because the noise didn't fade into distance.

Curious, Gaara and Naruto went to the front door and it was then that Gaara saw his former home on fire...

* * *

**A/N:** _The song Naruto sang is Umbrella by Rihanna._ _I thought that this song would portray Naruto's feelings for Gaara better than a dialogue._

_The next chapter will be the last._


	14. Satisfaction

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
**Warnings:** yaoi, incest, AU.  
**Pairings:** At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

* * *

**A/N:** _Thank you for all the lovely reviews! Sorry I haven't been replying, it's because of the loooong depressive episodes I've been suffering from. I'm now officially diagnosed as bipolar, and they changed my medication. I wasn't supposed to get depressed anymore, but I did, eventually. Ah, well..._

_A big __**THANK YOU**__ for everyone who has read/reviewed/faved! And special thank you goes for __**Meioma**__, __**kathlaidaprincess **__and__** EuchredEuthanasia **__for drawing fanart! Love to you all! And I have to say that __**kathlaidaprincess**__ has also supported me with this story in a wonderful way, she has kept on believing in me and encouraging me! -heart-_

_This chapter will be the last one. This is also the longest one! And the most difficult to write..._

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 14: Satisfaction**

Gaara and Naruto ran headlong to the blaze and saw the police first, then an ambulance and also some fire engines and firemen there, who were trying to get the burning house under control. It seemed that their work was hopeless, though, for the fire was intense and the house so badly burnt that nothing could save it now.

Only one thought ran through Gaara's mind, and it was to find his brother. Many people had gathered around to stare at the blaze but among them all, the redhead couldn't see the one who he was looking for. Fearing the worst, that Kankuro was still in the burning house, Gaara ran closer to the ambulance. Maybe they knew something. They had to!

The back doors of the ambulance were open and indeed, there sat a familiar brunette, out of everyone's sight. As the redhead saw that his brother was safe, the sense of relief came instantly but it also gave room for anger.

"Are you a freaking lunatic!" Gaara shrieked to Kankuro, who was looking at the burning house.

"It runs in the family," the brunette sneered, a little smile-like expression on his face.

"What the hell were you thinking about!" Gaara yelled at his brother. Of all things, this he couldn't have guessed Kankuro was capable of. "What about the money that we would've gotten from selling this house? What will Temari say?"

"They're burning, the memories," was all Kankuro said, his voice echoing madness but it also carried a hint of pride.

"Look, it's better if you let him be for awhile. He'll be taken care of," a police officer said to Gaara and took the teenagers away from the brunette's earshot. "Now may I ask you who you are?"

"I'm his brother," Gaara answered. "And Naruto here is my... friend."

"I see. Judging from the information we gathered from him, he might be having some sort of an episode. Has he had these kinds of episodes before?" the police officer asked, taking out a memo and a pen from the pocket of his jacket.

"Yes he has. But he has never threatened to burn down the house," Gaara told truthfully. He didn't like that the officer kept on asking questions, it could lead Kankuro into serious trouble.

"Okay," the police man said, writing everything down. "Is there anything else I need to know?" he then asked, looking at the teenagers.

"Yes," Naruto said.

"No," Gaara denied.

"What is it?" the police officer asked, now directing his attention to the blond.

"Gaara..." Naruto began, looking at the redhead pleadingly. In his opinion, it would be better if the authorities knew about Kankuro's doings. That way, the brunette would get what he deserved and would stay out of their lives.

"No!" Gaara hissed. Telling the police about the abuse was the least thing he wanted to do. He didn't want Kankuro to end up in jail.

"But Gaara, stop living in the fantasy world. You don't have to protect him anymore," Naruto said, wondering if he should really tell the police. Now was his chance.

"Shut up!" the redhead snapped, afraid because of the dangerous conversation they were having.

The police officer followed the teenagers' discussion, wondering if there was anything important in it. "Look, is there anything you wish to tell me?" he then asked again, looking directly at the blond.

"Kankuro abused him," Naruto said in a quiet, sad voice. He was very afraid how the redhead would react to this but he needed to tell, in his mind it was the only right thing to do.

"That's not true!" Gaara snapped, elbowing the blond. How dared the blond tell something like this to the police!

The officer was writing something down, then he turned to look at the redhead. "Is this true?"

"No!" Gaara said defensively, glaring daggers at Naruto. He just couldn't believe that the blond had actually revealed his and his brother's secret.

"Don't worry," the officer said and looked at the redhead, "We'll investigate this thoroughly. Later on, we'll be hearing both your and Kankuro's side of the story."

"No..." Gaara protested. It sounded to him like Kankuro was going to jail.

"We'll gather statements from each of you individually," the police man said. "Now if you want to ask anything, there's helpful medical staff near the ambulance. They'll take good care of you," the officer continued and then turned away to talk to some other people that had gathered around.

Still confused and angry, Gaara went to Kankuro, leaving Naruto behind. He would surely scold the blond later for telling such explosive information to the police. The brunette was now sitting at the back bumper of the ambulance, a blanket over his shoulders. Some people of the medical staff were talking to Kankuro but it seemed like he wasn't listening. As the brunette saw the redhead, though, something changed in his eyes.

When Gaara came to his brother, the members of the medical staff cleared away, giving the two some peace.

"Why did you burn down the house?" Gaara asked quietly, wondering about his brother's motives.

"To kill the memories. And to avenge," Kankuro said in an equally quiet voice.

"Avenge what?" Gaara asked, knowing that the memories wouldn't burn in the fire. No, they would be always carved up in their minds.

". . . That you left me. I wanted so badly to burn down your world, like you crushed mine," Kankuro whispered, sounding crestfallen.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said feebly, "But it was the only thing I could do in the situation yesterday."

"I know," Kankuro said. It had been a sacrifice to protect their secret. "As long as the blondie won't be telling anything to anybody."

"Kankuro..." Gaara began, not sure how to phrase the fact that his mouthy boyfriend had actually told the police their personal secret. But Kankuro needed to know. "Naruto told them just now."

"He WHAT!" Kankuro suddenly shouted, standing up and throwing the blanket away. "You promised me he would stay quiet," he then hissed, his black eyes twinkling like there was fire in them.

"But..." Gaara began, at loss for words. His mouth was hanging open, for he didn't know what to say.

"Stupid blondie," was all Kankuro whispered as he started to run towards Naruto, who had stayed at a distance not wanting to meddle in the brothers' business.

"Kankuro, no!" Gaara shouted and ran after his brother.

Naruto had been dwelling in his own thoughts, staring at the almost doused house. Gaara's yell, however, had gotten his attention and just as he had turned to look at the direction of the voice, someone hit him hard on the jaw.

"Ouch!" Naruto winced.

"Kankuro!" Gaara shouted angrily and ran towards his brother and Naruto.

"You bastard," Kankuro hissed to the blond, pulling his fist back.

"Kankuro, you idiot!" Gaara snapped as he stopped to stand right next to the brunette. "You promised not to hurt him!"

"And you promised he wouldn't be telling anything to anybody!" Kankuro hissed back, ready to punch the blond again.

Red flashed in blue eyes as Naruto's gaze hit the brunette. This was the man who had abused Gaara! This was the man who had forced Gaara into horrible things! Because of this man, the redhead could maybe never be normal again.

"You scum!" Naruto shouted, punching Kankuro to the nose.

The brunette had not expected it and as the hit came, he let out a yelp. Holding his bloody nose, Kankuro was looking angrily at Naruto, ready to use his fists.

"You both STOP IT!" Gaara shouted angrily and went to stand between the two males.

Needless to say, this all had gotten everyone's attention. Everyone—except the few firemen putting down the still burning fire—was looking at them.

"What's going on here?" the earlier police officer asked, coming closer to the three.

"A triangle," Naruto hissed, not tearing his gaze away from the brunette. He couldn't stand what this monster had done to poor Gaara!

"Is this about the alleged abuse?" the officer asked cautiously.

"NO!" both Gaara and Kankuro said in unison.

"Yes it is!" Naruto defended the truth.

"Watch what you say, blondie," Kankuro said threateningly, "Or can you prove that I've even touched my little brother?"

"Gaara told me so!" Naruto yelled, red flashing in his eyes.

"Is that really so, Gaara?" the officer asked, looking at the redhead in an understanding way. Boy, had he seen a lot of things during his career. Abuse was just one of them.

"No..." Gaara said, uneasy.

"Don't live in the fantasy world anymore, Gaara. You can tell them the truth," Naruto encouraged, putting a hand to the redhead's shoulder.

"Don't touch him so freely," Kankuro hissed and slapped the hand away, giving a murderous stare to the blond.

"And you keep your hands to yourself, you abusing monster!" Naruto shouted, lunging towards Kankuro.

Soon both the brunette and the blond were on the ground, hands on each others' throats.

"You both stop it!" the officer said, taking Naruto, who was on the top, by the arm and dragging him away from the brunette. Gaara on the other hand took hold of Kankuro, preventing him from lunging at the blond.

"If you won't calm down, both of you will come to the station with me!" the police man said threateningly, letting go of Naruto.

"Now Kankuro," the officer continued in a serious manner, turning to look at the brunette, "You will go to the ambulance and they will take you to the hospital where you'll be watched."

"Naruto and Gaara," the police man now turned to the teenagers, "Leave me your contact information. And Gaara, if there's anything that you suddenly want to tell me, here's my number," the officer said and gave the redhead a calling card. "And I give you my word, this case will be investigated thoroughly."

Nodding, Gaara took the memo and the pen from the officer and wrote down his new address and his phone number. Then he gave them back to the police man who nodded in response. Gaara looked one last time to his brother and then felt a tug on his arm. Naruto was slowly pulling him away from the scene, towards their house.

Giving a cold look to the brunette, Naruto turned his back to the people with the redhead.

* * *

A cold tea cup lay on the coffee table in front of Gaara. It was green tea this time.

"Aren't you going to drink it?" Naruto asked, his own cup already empty.

They had come home about half an hour ago and during that time Gaara hadn't said a word to the blond. Assuming that the redhead needed to think over things, Naruto had stayed silent and had taken the liberty to prepare some tea for them.

"Why did you tell them?" Gaara suddenly snapped, his jade eyes now as cold as the tea.

"Uh... But I thought it was the right thing to do," Naruto said, taken aback because of the freezing stare. "He's not a safe adult after all. It's best for him—and for us—if he's under surveillance."

"It wasn't the right thing to do!" Gaara hissed in an icy tone. "Besides, I don't want him to end up in jail."

"Well I thought they should know," Naruto said. He thought it was important that Kankuro was being under surveillance but he didn't want Gaara to be so cold. When it came to the brunette's imprisonment, the blond didn't really care whether Kankuro would go to jail or to a psychiatric ward: either way, the monster would be out of their lives.

"Fortunately you didn't tell them that he tried to kill me, because murder attempt is a reprehensible action," Gaara said coldly, giving a piercing stare to his boyfriend.

Naruto squirmed under the stare, knowing that the redhead was really serious this time. "I know. I'm sorry I told them," he mumbled feebly, but he wasn't as sorry as he sounded. All along, he had wanted that the truth would get into the knowledge of the authorities, so that Kankuro would get what he deserved.

"Your apology isn't enough," Gaara snapped, then continued, "If he goes to jail, it's your—"

"No it isn't! It's _his own_ fault if he ends up imprisoned. That would only serve him right!" Naruto said defiantly, defending the truth once again. He wasn't going to let Gaara's delusions about Kankuro's virtue fool him.

To that, Gaara only gaped, seemingly at loss for words.

Naruto used this chance to continue declaring his opinions. "Can't you see that you don't have to protect him anymore? He's made his own choices and it's not your duty to whitewash his history."

At the words, Gaara was silent for a moment. He knew that the blond spoke wise words, but it was hard for him to digest them. ". . . But what if he ends up in jail?" he then asked, quietly, for it was the most burning concern he had at the moment.

"That's the risk he took the moment he first touched you," Naruto only said. "You don't need to protect him anymore."

Gaara fell silent again, mulling over what had just been said. On some level, it felt relieving that he was told not to keep on protecting the culprit anymore. He only now realized how much energy it had taken to constantly keep up the façade, to pretend that he and Kankuro led a normal life. Now that he didn't need to do that anymore, it felt like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

"You're a victim Gaara, do you remember that?" Naruto suddenly spoke in a gentle manner. "You have done nothing wrong. Only your brother is the one to blame."

"But Kankuro is a victim, too," Gaara pointed out. He couldn't help but feel like a wrongdoer.

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. Talking sense to the redhead was frustratingly hard at times. "If he really is a victim, then they will get him help. But try to understand, you have to stop protecting him. You don't need to explain his doings."

"Okay," was all Gaara said.

Naruto had a haunting feeling that the redhead didn't really see the things as he hoped he would. But he would keep on trying to talk some sense into his boyfriend.

"I have to call Temari," Gaara suddenly remembered, sounding like it was something he'd rather not do.

"Oh... Of course," the blond replied. It was better to make the call, rather than to postpone it. It wouldn't take long until rumors of Kankuro burning down an entire house under an episode would get to the redhead's sister's ears. Naruto was sure that all the neighbors that had seen the blaze were now eagerly spreading the news about the crazy brunette.

Gaara got up from the couch and went to look for his cell phone. Once he found it in the darkened kitchen, he dialed Temari's number and pressed the CALL button.

It beeped for a long time, before finally, his big sister answered.

"Gaara?" Temari asked in a sleepy voice. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

The redhead glanced at the kitchen clock and noticed it was already past midnight.

Taking a deep breath, Gaara summoned all his courage and said, "Kankuro burnt down the house."

For a few seconds the line was silent, then Temari's voice exploded, "He WHAT!"

"He—"

"Yes I heard what you said. But WHY? Are you alright?" Temari demanded answers, the sleepiness gone from her voice.

"We're alright. But I don't know why he did so..." Gaara mumbled, looking at his toes. The truth was he wasn't sure if he could tell his sister the real reason.

"You lived with him for so long, you've got to know!" Temari almost yelled, not buying what her little brother had just said. "I just visited you two, and everything was fine then! You've got to tell me what happened," she then said, in a sadder tone.

"I... I moved out to live with my boyfriend after you left and Kankuro was upset because of that," Gaara started.

". . . And," Temari urged him to continue. "Nobody burns down houses because of something like that. I mean, I know how overprotective Kankuro is but he's not crazy."

"Uh... Actually he has had these mental problems," Gaara said cautiously, speaking quietly, as if it would make it easier.

"What kind of mental problems?" Temari asked. This was news to her.

"He... He kind of loses himself every now and then," Gaara started. "And he can't control his doings under those episodes."

"And why am I only hearing about this just now?" Temari demanded. "Has he ever... hurt you under those episodes?" she then quickly added, concerned.

"Y-Yes he has..." Gaara admitted. It was strange how he was confessing this to his sister now. Somehow, Naruto's speech about him not needing to protect Kankuro anymore was affecting him. Then he remembered the other question and answered, "He wanted to keep his mental problems a secret."

"Typical Kankuro: so stubborn and not able to see what's best for him. And I'm going to get him for hurting you! He has no right to do so, mental problems or not. What did he do to you?" Temari then asked, not realizing what she was actually asking.

"He... He's hit me, kicked me, and bitten me and..." Gaara went on, trying to bury the feelings that were coming to the surface. What he chose to leave hidden was that Kankuro had also slashed him and that then, today, he had tried to kill him.

"What! That's horrible!" Temari exclaimed. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt you?"

Gaara was silent for a moment. Now would be his chance to tell Temari about the abuse. What would he lose? The police already knew, Naruto knew, too. What if the brunette would go to jail? It would be only the matter of time before his big sister would get wind of Kankuro's doings.

"Are you still there, Gaara?" Temari asked, and right then, the redhead realized how long a pause he had kept.

"Yeah," he answered and gulped. Suppressed feelings were now coming to the surface, and it was hard to speak without his voice cracking. And his eyes were glistening too. This all had to be because of the enormous stress he'd been having.

"He's also... kind of... abused me, for a long time," Gaara said quietly, not trusting his normal voice anymore. There, he'd said it.

It was at first silent on Temari's end of the line, then the redhead heard Temari let out a breath she'd obviously been holding. "That bastard! I'm going to give him hard time the next time I see him!" Temari promised, her voice like daggers. "Why didn't you tell me before?" she then asked, desperation in her voice.

"I c-couldn't!" Gaara almost cried, then slapped a hand to his mouth. He couldn't cry to his sister! That would be so sissy of him. Besides, men didn't cry in situation like this, that he had learned from Kankuro.

"I sort of understand," Temari said in a soft voice, as if soothing the redhead. "It's important that you told me now, that you had the courage to say it."

"Mmh," Gaara only mumbled.

"I mean... I want to see Kankuro in jail because of this! And you shouldn't feel sympathy for him either. He's a monster who's—"

And right then, Gaara disconnected the phone call. He couldn't take it anymore, not today! So much had happened in just one day and night that his brain was going into overdrive. Gaara dropped the phone, but didn't really hear it hitting the floor. Then he collapsed to the floor, too, and pressed his head to his knees that he pulled towards his chest.

He started to sniff at first, for he couldn't control his feelings anymore. For so long he had kept his head cool but tonight, it wasn't an option anymore. Somewhere between his quiet sobs he could hear his cell phone ringing, the caller obviously being his sister, but he didn't care, not tonight.

Naruto, who was surprised at the sudden lack of noises from the kitchen, went to see what had happened. It was then he found Gaara on the ground, quietly sniffing, holding back the cries, and was instantly there to entwine his arm around him.

"Hey, Gaara, it's alright. I'm here," Naruto tried to soothe his boyfriend.

"N-No it's not a-alright!" Gaara sniffed, angrily. "N-Nothing that's happened to m-me is alright! It's wrong..." he then added, in a sadder voice. Finally, he seemed to realize that he didn't need to protect his brother anymore. He was also realizing that nothing that had happened to him was actually his fault. It was relieving but not easy. He saw himself clearly as a victim for the first time in his life and he grieved that he hadn't had the kind of teenage years he had wished to have.

"Of course it's not alright," Naruto soothed, caressing his boyfriend's shoulders. "You're right to feel angry about it."

"Yes," Gaara admitted, his sniffing now better in control than before. "Thank you, for being there for me."

"Don't mention it, of course I'll always be by your side," Naruto said gently, his blue eyes soft with tender feelings.

Right then the cell phone ringed again, the caller ID saying 'Temari'.

"Ignore it. I don't want to talk with her right now," Gaara said, looking at the beeping device on the floor.

"But isn't it a bit rude not to answer?" Naruto asked. Obviously he would've answered the call, if he were the redhead.

"I don't care!" was Gaara's sudden outburst. ". . . Not tonight," he then added quietly.

"Oh, I see," Naruto said in a gentle voice. "You can talk to her later, when you know more of the situation."

"Besides, she just wants to know about the abuse, and I don't want to talk about it, not now," Gaara pointed out. He knew what his sister was like. Temari, too, was sort of overprotective when it came to the redhead, even though the big sister had never admitted it.

Gaara and Naruto continued their silent conversation late into the night. Neither of them had bothered to turn on the lights, so they both sat in the darkness. This was a comfortable darkness that lived in Naruto's house at evenings and at night. Or at least so Gaara had categorized this lack of light. He didn't feel scared at all, like he had felt with Kankuro when the lights had been off. Naruto's house was warm and cozy, and nothing bad had ever happened there.

If houses had so called souls, Gaara thought, then Naruto's house had the most beautiful house-soul ever seen. And compared to that, the house Kankuro had just burned down had had no soul at all. The redhead didn't feel sad that his former home was now nothing more than large piles of ashes and unburnable materials. What he felt sorry for was that now, they wouldn't get any money and that Kankuro had no place to live in.

In the living room there had been lights on for all this time, and the glimmer of light could be seen to the kitchen, too. It reminded Gaara about the sun, about how Naruto was his personal sun, and about the dawn, and about morning and right then, Gaara's eyes blinked fully open. Tomorrow morning was Monday, a school day! Glancing at the kitchen clock, he could just make out that it was already three in the morning.

Naruto was leaning his head against the redhead's shoulder, and judging by his even, deep breaths, he was in some light sleep already.

"Naruto," Gaara whispered and lifted his shoulder a bit.

"Mmh," the blond mumbled, then slowly blinked his eyes as he came to a waking state. He straightened his neck and looked at the clock, his eyes growing large in surprise. "Oh!"

"We should go to bed now," Gaara said and took his cell phone from the floor. Temari seemed to have called seven times during the night.

The boys left the kitchen and after turning off the lights from the living room, they went to the bedroom. Naruto changed into his pajamas, and Gaara followed suit. The blond of course had some glaring orange pajamas, and Gaara just knew that before getting to know Naruto and his cheerful persona, he would've hated the color with passion. The redhead had black pajamas—no surprise there.

It was Naruto who got to the bed first. Gaara followed, and soon they both were in the embrace of the soft covers.

"Good night," Gaara whispered, as he saw that the blond's eyes were drooping.

"Good night," Naruto answered, and let his eyes close.

Gaara kept his own eyes open, not ready to sleep just yet. So much had happened in just few days. His whole life had changed. He was afraid, on some part, what the future would bring him. But with Naruto on his side, he didn't feel so alone or small.

And with these thoughts, the redhead let his eyes close and sometime after, sleep overtook him.

* * *

The next morning Gaara and Naruto were walking to school like any given weekday. On the school ground, the two of them separated to their different ways—without a kiss, though, for they feared they would be even more bullied if they were gay in public.

They didn't have any common lessons on Mondays, but one history lesson after lunch.

The lessons went on pretty fast, or at least so Gaara felt like. Unlike usually, he wasn't paying much attention to what the teachers were saying, for honestly he had so much more important things in his mind other than, for example, geography.

And now it was already the break before math lesson, which was followed by lunch. Gaara was going through the school hallways, searching for a certain cheek-tattooed brunette. So far, he hadn't had any luck...

...Until he saw Kiba leaning on a wall near some other students.

Eyes narrowing slightly, Gaara walked to his victim-to-be and kept on repeating in his mind what awful things Kiba had done to poor Naruto at the party. Kiba had forced himself on Naruto, and Gaara knew how disgusting that felt like.

"I need to talk to you," was all the redhead said, once face to face with the brunette.

"About what?" Kiba asked cautiously. Gaara wasn't sure was it imagined or not, but the brunette's face seemed to grow paler.

"About Naruto," the redhead said.

"What about him?" Kiba asked, his voice quivering a bit in the end. There was no way this freak would know what happened at the party with Naruto, now was there?

"It's serious," Gaara only said, and turned away, expecting the brunette to follow him.

"Hey, wait!" Kiba said and followed the intimidating redhead, for he was a bit worried about the blond. What if there was something wrong with Naruto? Something he ought to know?

Once the two of them reached a peaceful, empty hallway, Gaara suddenly stopped, making Kiba almost bump into him.

"So what's—" Kiba started, but couldn't finish because of the fist hitting him hard on the cheek. The brunette swayed dangerously backwards but succeeded in keeping his balance. He hadn't even time to recover from the first hit when another one came at his stomach, and then another and another...

"Stop!" Kiba managed to say somewhere between the hits but to Gaara it only sounded like a whine of a dog.

"Why would I stop, when you didn't stop when Naruto asked you to?" Gaara finally said, pulling his fist back. On his face, there was a dangerous and grim expression. He had driven Kiba against a wall, and it was the only support the brunette had at the moment. Otherwise, Kiba would've surely fallen to the ground.

"How dared you hurt_ my_ Naruto!" Gaara growled angrily, his eyes narrowing as he pulled his fist back in order to hit his victim once again.

But this time, Kiba was quicker and punched Gaara in the eye, causing the redhead to retreat a few steps, while hissing in pain.

"He's not yours! You can't own people, you freak!" Kiba yelled, getting strength from seeing the redhead hold his eye in pain.

"He chose _me_, so he's _mine_!" Gaara snarled, again closing in on the brunette, who was still leaning against the wall.

"Stay away from me, you filthy..." Kiba hissed, trying to hit Gaara again. But the redhead dodged this time—for he was used to fighting—and in a second Gaara was pinning Kiba against the wall, hitting him hard on the stomach.

"Oof!" Kiba let slip between his pursed lips.

"Suits you right," Gaara said, before giving one last blow to Kiba's face.

Holding his mouth, Kiba collapsed to the ground and chocked back the tears that were about to come because of the pain.

With that, Gaara left quickly before anyone could find them. It was always a risk to fight at school, but this was his fight. For Naruto, he'd do anything.

* * *

"Gaara! Oi, Gaara!" Naruto shouted in the school yard. The lunch break had just started and they had agreed on seeing each other outside, so that they could go eat lunch together.

The redhead noticed the noisy blond and started to walk into Naruto's direction.

"Hey, Gaara, have you seen Kiba? I saw him leaving early from school with his face was all bruised up. What on earth happened to him!" Naruto asked in a somewhat angry tone. "And why do _you_ have a black eye!" he then added in a concerned voice.

"Don't worry about it," Gaara said, a devious little smile forming on his lips.

"I _know_ you have something to do with it! I told you not to go to him! This wasn't what I wanted!" Naruto huffed.

"But I couldn't leave him without a proper punishment," Gaara only said. "He hurt you."

"But look at you now, you got a black eye, that's not good," Naruto pointed out, touching the redhead's bruised eyelid gently. "I should be angry at you. . ."

"I did it for you, I had to show him that you belong to _me_," Gaara whispered dominantly into the blond's ear, sending shivers down Naruto's spine.

"U-Uh," was all Naruto could reply. His cheeks were getting red, emphasizing his blue eyes.

"Now should we go eat lunch, while we still can?" Gaara asked with a little smile-like expression on his face. He was amused because of Naruto's flushed reaction.

"Y-Yeah," Naruto said, still having some redness on his cheeks.

The two of them then headed to the school cafeteria. People were giving them odd looks because they were walking so close to each other. Some of the students even yelled some pretty insulting things to them, to show Naruto that befriending the school's freak had not been a cool thing to do. But the blond and the redhead didn't care, they had already gotten used to being the most unpopular 'couple' at school.

As they entered the hallway that led to the cafeteria, a student passing by bumped Gaara on the shoulder, purposely, saying quite loudly, "Your brother's a freak, too." It seemed that the news of Kankuro burning down their house had spread through the school already. Gaara would've wanted to teach the insolent student a lesson for badmouthing his brother, but Naruto took him by the arm, his blue eyes clearly saying that enough fighting had happened for one day.

From Naruto's friends, only Shikamaru had really stayed. All the other ones had somehow, slowly given up on him, because he had chosen to be Gaara's friend. And even today, Shikamaru came to eat lunch with the two. The redhead and the pineapple-headed boy didn't still talk much to each other but a little. Usually in situations like these, it was Naruto who kept the conversation going. So the three of them ate together peacefully, ignoring the nasty stares they received from the majority of students. It was meat soup day, Shikamaru's favorite. Naruto preferred ramen or salad, whereas Gaara would've liked to eat something that had no meat in it.

After eating, the ponytailed boy excused himself, leaving Naruto and Gaara to sit at the cafeteria's table.

"We have history next, together," Naruto said, checking his schedule.

"Let's not go there," Gaara said, "Let's skip."

"What? We can't do that!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Well who are they going to call? You're an orphan and my brother is in the hospital. Besides, I bet his cell phone burned down with the house, so there is no way for the teachers to contact him," Gaara reasoned. To tell the truth, he had already gotten enough of school for the day.

"But Gaara!" Naruto began. "You can't skip school every time you feel like it, no matter if there's someone who the teachers can contact or not."

"You sound like my brother," Gaara said, not liking the lecture he was receiving.

"We're going to the rest of the classes," Naruto announced.

". . . Even though we could be together, curled up in your bed?" Gaara said slyly, a devious smile on his face as he stared at the blond. He knew that there had to be a way to lure his boyfriend on agreeing to skip school.

"Don't tempt me!" Naruto exclaimed, blushing. His mind was already imagining where their closeness could lead. But he couldn't be lured into his fantasies, he had to resist the temptation and act responsibly.

"Fine then," Gaara answered, taking his tray and getting up.

Naruto followed suit and soon they exited the cafeteria. There was still three more hours of school, until they could be free.

* * *

After school, Gaara headed to the only hospital in Konoha where he knew they kept his brother. He had put some make-up on his black eye, to hide the bruise, so that he wouldn't receive a lesson from his brother about why fighting at school was not acceptable.

He was alone, for obviously Naruto didn't want to see the 'abusing monster', as the blond had put it. And Gaara was sure that Kankuro wouldn't be upset to miss Naruto's presence.

Finally Gaara reached the front doors. From the receptionist he got to know that his brother was in the room 309 in the third floor. Using the elevator, he neared his destination. He hated the sterile smell that wafted in the air. This wasn't a place he wanted Kankuro to be in, but at the moment, neither of them had a choice.

Exiting the elevator, Gaara started to walk along the hallway to find the correct room.

At the right door, he at first lifted his hand to knock but then paused. Did he really... want to see Kankuro, after all this? After the abuse—yes, Gaara now admitted to himself that he had really been abused—after Kankuro tried to kill him, after Kankuro burned down the house, after Kankuro hit Naruto...

Did he really want to see the person who had committed all those things?

He lowered his hand, almost turning away, when he heard someone cough in the room. Listening more carefully, Gaara could hear nothing more. It indicated that the brunette was in there, alone.

He hesitated, and started walking away. After few steps, he got so frustrated that he hit the thin wall with his fist.

"Gaara?" came a voice from the room where Kankuro was kept.

Sighing, Gaara was sure that he had now revealed his presence to his brother. The sheer thought that Kankuro _knew_ he was here, made him feel uneasy. So he forced himself to the door and opened it.

"Hi Gaara," Kankuro greeted quite cheerfully the second he saw the redhead. He was sitting on the bed, in white hospital pajamas, his hair messy and dark half-circles under his eyes. Those dark eyes of his grew a bit darker as he watched the forthcoming redhead. So, his redhead had come to see him. He had known that sooner or later, his little brother would've felt forced to see him, again. Maybe when Gaara had run away from home, he hadn't broken free of all the mental chains, after all. This pleased Kankuro, who only smiled mysteriously.

"Hello..." Gaara muttered uneasily. He still wasn't ready to forgive everything his brother had done. The brunette's doings and Naruto's truthful words were crisscrossing his mind.

"Come and sit down," Kankuro offered, patting the bed and readjusting his position so that there was room for the redhead. He wanted his little brother near him, so that Gaara's innocent scent would waft into his nose once more. He needed that, in the midst of all this awful sterile smell.

Silently, Gaara moved forward and sat down, very near to Kankuro. Nearer than he would've liked to. But there was no chair in the room.

"I'm happy you came to see me," Kankuro said, telling the truth. He was truly happy that the redhead was now so close, just like in good old times. He took hold of the redhead's hand and when Gaara didn't pull it away, it only encouraged brunette even more.

"Please... Lie down with me, just for a moment," Kankuro pleaded, and squeezed the pale hand tentatively, his black eyes holding a soft and gentle look.

Jade eyes widened in shock, at first. "I don't think we should. What if somebody walks into the room?" Gaara hesitated. In reality, he didn't want to get even closer to his brother. It felt wrong. It felt like he was betraying Naruto.

"Please... It's a dying man's last wish," Kankuro begged poetically, squeezing the hand even more.

"You aren't dying," Gaara said with an unreadable look in his eyes.

"But I am, without you," Kankuro pointed out, a very sad look on his face. He needed to feel his little brother close to him, even just this once. He lay down, in order to lure Gaara into the position, too.

Feeling uncomfortable, Gaara slowly lay down with his shoes and coat on, feeling guilty that his brother was in this institution, even though a tiny voice—that reminded him about Naruto—in the back of his mind reminded him that it wasn't really his fault.

The moment was perfect to Kankuro, who slowly caressed his little brother's clad arm. To feel this closeness once again was like heaven to him. This moment reminded him about the good old times when the redhead had still been under his spell, obedient and submissive. If only their little bubble hadn't broken.

Gaara was silent, still, and had lowered his gaze so that he was now staring at his brother's pajama collar. He didn't want to be in this position, not this close, but if the brunette would go to jail, wasn't this the least he could do to comfort him?

A familiar hunger was building up in Kankuro, whose eyes got a bit blacker, as he gazed at his innocent little brother. He caressed the pale face, the smooth, soft skin, remembering that Gaara was this soft all over his body. His hunger only increased as his thoughts went further. Somehow, lying like this with the redhead wasn't enough anymore. "Would you kiss me?" he suddenly asked, well aware of his slim chances of getting such a token of love.

"What!" Gaara's voice exploded. Now, he felt ten times more uncomfortable than before. He sat up and was trying to get out of the bed but the brunette prevented him, taking him by the arm quite forcefully, reminding him that he couldn't have an escape.

"Please, don't go," Kankuro pleaded again, his eyes reflecting the hopelessness he felt inside. "Just one kiss."

"No," Gaara said firmly. Hadn't he already showed his brother yesterday that they story was over?

"Please, then I won't ask anything, anymore," Kankuro assured, getting into a sitting position, too.

"No!" Gaara snapped, getting annoyed. "It's already enough that I have to be this close to you."

"What?" Kankuro was surprised, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. He didn't like this new, defiant Gaara at all. And he would try to do his everything to crumble the self-confidence the redhead seemed to have gotten. "Don't you remember that what we had was special?"

"Naruto said that this is... sick!" Gaara said. He tried to get off of the bed again, but the brunette's grip on his upper arm prevented him like before, too.

"Naruto says so because he is _jealous_!" Kankuro hissed, "Because he doesn't see the beautiful bond between you and me."

"There's nothing beautiful in abuse," Gaara hissed back, looking straight into his brother's coal black eyes.

"I only showed you my love! And you always enjoyed it, didn't you!" Kankuro growled, knowing that waking up the redhead's guilt and shame would serve his own purposes.

"You abused me!" Gaara exclaimed, "And it was wrong!"

"I can't believe how naïve you still are," Kankuro said back, a dangerous look in his eyes. "Right and wrong things happen to everyone, and it's called life. You just have to take it like a man." If there was a chance that he could get the redhead back onto his side, he would be very pleased.

By now Gaara was gaping. He couldn't believe what he'd been just told. And Kankuro telling him that he should take the abuse 'like a man' felt like a very personal offence. How dared his brother say something like that! Angrily, he wrenched his arm free from the grip and got off of the bed. He noticed that the coal black eyes were surprised at first, but soon they filled with anger.

Kankuro was far from pleased. He was getting angry because Gaara was so hard to get under control. He had clearly underestimated the impact Naruto had had on the redhead. If only he could make Gaara see things like he himself did, then this all would be a lot easier.

"You," Gaara hissed, his black rimmed eyes narrowed, as he addressed his brother, "You abused me for so long. And then you tried to drive Naruto away. And then you tried to kill me, when I had had enough of it all. And after that, you burned down our house, leaving us penniless for the future."

As Kankuro stayed silent, and only stared at the redhead angrily, Gaara had to ask, "Aren't you even sorry?"

"Sorry for what! For loving you? For protecting you? For not killing myself but the memories instead?" Kankuro argued back, defiant. He wasn't ready to take all the blame. If there was still a chance that he could tie mental chains around Gaara, he'd certainly do it.

"What? I can't believe you're saying that!" Gaara said. "Are you really so far away from reality that you can't see how things are?"

"It's not me who is unrealistic but you. At first you get Naruto convinced that I'm bad to you, that I abuse you, and then you let the blond tell it to the police. And now, because of the police suspecting me of something I haven't really done, my future will most likely be hellish in jail," Kankuro said. "So it's _you_ who should be sorry!" he then snapped, narrowing his cold, black eyes. "This is all _your_ fault!"

"What? What are you... I can't believe what you just said!" Gaara raised his voice. "You're delusional!"

"If I go to jail, it's your fault!" Kankuro exclaimed. He had to plant the seeds of guilt into the redhead. That way, Gaara would stay faithful to him.

"No, it's your own fault alone!" Gaara shouted back. Naruto's words were flooding into his mind. He didn't need to protect his brother anymore. He was a victim, and he didn't need to succumb to the brunette anymore.

"Is that an opinion of yours or Naruto's?" Kankuro asked cleverly, his eyes glinting. He knew that the blondie had somehow made Gaara see things in a different way. And he didn't like it, at all.

"It's the truth," Gaara said, his jade eyes cold as ice as he stared into the black depths of his brother's eyes.

"The truth is, I was too good to you," Kankuro hissed, getting up, and got closer to the redhead. As Gaara let out a bitter laugh, the brunette continued, "You never respected my sacrifices for _your _well-being, you took it all granted. And now you're nothing more than an arrogant brat."

Gaara backed away, until his back hit the wall.

"And I'm going to teach you some respect," Kankuro whispered angrily, catching Gaara by the arms and pushing him against the white wall. He had done this so many times before, intimidated his little brother, and it had always worked.

"Let go of me," Gaara hissed back, his eyes holding an angry look.

Kankuro, however, wasn't convinced about Gaara's threats. He didn't believe that the petite redhead had the guts to actually push him away.

"Gaara," Kankuro began. Then, a crooked smile came to his lips. "Now that I have you here, I have an idea. No one would find us in the bathroom... And it would teach you a lesson," the brunette went on, starting to tug Gaara along. If he had to go as far as to force himself on the redhead, he would do it. The mental chains had to be re-tied, no matter what.

"You stop it!" Gaara snapped, not willing to surrender. "Let go of me! NOW!" he yelled so loud that his voice probably carried to the hallway too, surprising Kankuro. And with force, the redhead tore his arms free from the brunette's grip, and pushed his brother away from him.

"You're a true lunatic!" Gaara hissed, his eyes narrowed as he watched his brother come closer again.

Kankuro couldn't quite believe what had just happened. His own sweet little brother, who had always been so easy to control, so easy to manipulate, was now all defiant and everything but acquiescent. Frowning, Kankuro's eyes darkened as he neared his prey again. "Do you really think you can—"

"What's going on here?" came a voice from the doorway, when a male nurse entered the room.

For a moment all the three of them stood there, in silence, rooted to the spot.

"He's out of control," Gaara finally said to the nurse, while walking to the door.

The man nodded in a serious way, holding the door open for Gaara so that the redhead could leave the room. "You better leave. We'll take it from here on."

"Thanks," Gaara muttered on the doorway. One last time he looked at his brother, who gave a stern look back.

As Gaara exited the room, the nurse followed him and locked the door behind him. The redhead hadn't even known it would be possible. But now that he and Kankuro were separated by a locked door, he felt oddly more relieved.

"How did you—"

"I heard your voice to the hallway," the man answered before the redhead could finish his question.

Gaara opened his mouth to ask more questions, but nothing came out.

"He's under medication since yesterday," the man started. "We're still not sure what his situation is, but he might be in some sort of psychosis."

"Really?" Gaara said.

"Yes. But this is not the right place for him. I believe he would be best taken care of in a psychiatric ward. He's in need of a psychiatrist," the nurse said.

"I see," was everything the redhead said.

"We'll give him more sedatives, so that he'll calm down. But excuse me, I have to go now," the man apologized. And right after that, he started to half-run down the hallway, probably to check out another patient.

Slowly, Gaara turned away and began walking to the exit.

On the front doors, his mind was still on the recent happenings. What was this feeling inside of him? It was some sort of sadness, even anger: sadness, because he couldn't help his brother, and anger, because Kankuro was probably in some stupid psychosis and couldn't think clearly. For it had to be the fault of psychosis that his brother was so difficult, there just was no other explanation to it, in Gaara's mind. He knew that deep inside, the brunette was really nice and lovable, now wasn't he? Yes, it just had to be because of the psychosis, Gaara reasoned.

But the more he thought about what had happened, the more he frowned. The brunette had blamed _him_ and Naruto for everything. That he wasn't ready to forgive just yet.

* * *

Meanwhile, Naruto was bored of waiting for his boyfriend to come back.

He took his cell phone and the calling card that the police officer had given Gaara last night. He dialed the officer's number but didn't call yet.

Should he do it?

Should he tell the police that Kankuro had threatened the redhead's life?

How would Gaara react?

'Badly', Naruto thought.

So he erased the number and put his cell phone on the table. It wouldn't be wise to make Gaara any angrier. What if the redhead would leave for good? 'No, I mustn't do it', Naruto thought.

Right then the front door clicked, telling the blond that the redhead was home again. Gaara walked quickly to the living room, after first taking off his shoes and winter coat. Sitting down on the couch next to his boyfriend, Gaara noticed the calling card immediately and the blond's cell phone on the coffee table.

"What were you doing with that card?" Gaara asked, his eyes narrowing. He had a bad feeling about this...

"I... nothing," Naruto lied feebly. The truth was he didn't want to make his precious boyfriend angry.

"Did you call the officer?" Gaara asked, coldness replacing the warmth in his eyes.

"No!" Naruto exclaimed right away. "I mean, I thought that if I should tell them how dangerous your brother is, but then decided against it."

"Good. That was the right decision," Gaara said in an angry but relieved tone. "Nobody needs to know what Kankuro tried to do to me yesterday."

"But all that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing!" Naruto almost yelled in exasperation.

"Where did you hear that?" Gaara asked. He knew that Naruto was far from stupid, but he also knew that the blond couldn't have come up with that thought alone.

"I read it from a quote book," Naruto mumbled. He liked the quote, and in his opinion, it fit to this situation.

"But can't you understand that Kankuro will go to jail more likely if they find out! And I can't let that happen! He's my brother!" Gaara defended his point of view.

"I see," was all Naruto said, as he looked away. He then got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. To distract his mind, he would have to do something with his hands: so he chose to wash the dishes.

Gaara on the other hand stayed where he was. He didn't like fighting with Naruto. Actually, he didn't like fighting with anyone. But the police just couldn't know everything, and in Gaara's opinion Naruto had to accept this. This was the redhead's business, after all, not the blond's.

While washing the dishes, Naruto suddenly realized that he hadn't asked what it had been like to see Kankuro. Hands wet, he dashed to the living room and, the previous fight already forgotten, eagerly asked, "Was Kankuro okay, by the way?"

Gaara was a bit amused at Naruto's sudden question. He should've known that the blond was never angry for a long time. The redhead watched as water and lather dripped down from the tanned hands to the living room floor, creating small ponds there.

"He wasn't really okay," Gaara admitted, then continued, "He might be in a psychosis and that's why, he can't see the things like for example you and me do."

"Ah man, that's sad," Naruto said in a sad voice. He didn't feel sympathy for Kankuro, but he didn't like that this psychosis-thing was affecting Gaara the way it was. He felt rather bad for the redhead's sake.

"They said he should be in a psychiatric ward," Gaara went on, sadness clear in his jade eyes as he stared at the blond. This wasn't the fate he would've wished for his brother, but he had no choice in that. He carefully decided to not to tell his boyfriend how Kankuro had wanted to kiss him, or how the brunette had tried to assault him. Those things, he wanted to keep to himself, at least for now. They hurt his heart and the least he wanted at the moment was Naruto telling him all over again how bad person Kankuro was.

"Oh..." Naruto said, not sure what would be wise to answer.

"You go back to the dishes, I will vacuum the house," Gaara suddenly said. He, too, knew that if there were things that plagued one's mind, they would be exorcised by doing something physical.

Soon both of them were on the go, cleaning the house. Naruto himself wasn't very eager to vacuum or machine-wash, or do any cleaning at all, but Gaara's enthusiasm inspired him. They even took the carpets out to air them. After that Gaara took the liberty to machine-wash, and Naruto washed the floors. They also cleaned the kitchen, its cupboards and the microwave oven.

After over an hour of intense cleaning, both of the boys were bone-tired. Naruto collapsed on the bed, patting the place next to him, "Come."

Gaara did as he was told, happy to get some rest. He was sweaty and tired.

They were both on their sides, looking at each other. Silence fell over them, silence that was eventually broken by Naruto.

"Agh, I need to take off my shirt, I'm so sweaty!" the blond sighed, and discarded himself from his orange shirt, throwing it to the floor.

Gaara's eyes were soon after glued to the tanned chest, tanned _sweaty_ chest. He himself was sweaty, too, but didn't have the courage to nonchalantly strip in front of Naruto.

And the smell of Naruto, the sweet scent of his manly perspiration, almost drew Gaara wild. It was like from another world!

"Aren't you feeling hot, too?" Naruto asked, not realizing what feelings he was stirring in the redhead.

"Yeah..." Gaara replied. He was indeed feeling a bit too hot in the blond's presence.

"Then take off your shirt. You don't need to be ashamed," Naruto said, not seeing why Gaara should stay in his sweaty outfit. "Or maybe we should take a shower."

"No!" Gaara was quick to say. He didn't want to lose the blond's scent just yet, not so soon. "I mean... I like your scent," he then added, his eyes half-closed and fogged with feelings.

"You do? But I'm all sweaty," Naruto wondered, his eyes round with surprise.

"It's the best part," Gaara admitted, feeling silly for talking about the topic. He hoped he wasn't blushing.

"Then come here..." Naruto said gently, entwining his arms around Gaara's clad figure and pulling him closer.

The redhead let it happen, gladly. As their lips were already almost touching, Gaara deepened the contact into a kiss. The kiss was shy at first, but when Gaara could taste salt from the blond's lips, the kiss turned into more demanding one.

"Ah!" Naruto sighed when the kiss ended.

But Gaara wasn't satisfied yet. He adored the taste of Naruto, he wanted more of it. Kissing the blond's neck, the redhead went lower and trailed his tongue along the tanned chest. He found a nipple and licked it gently, then sucked a bit harder.

"Oh god Gaara!" Naruto moaned, his fingers buried in the red locks. The things Gaara was doing with his tongue pleased the blond to no end.

"I want more," Gaara mumbled, a nipple in his mouth. He went further down, and in the process, Naruto turned from his side to lie on his back. The redhead put his tongue to the blond's belly button, savoring the sweet, manly taste.

"Haa—" Naruto sighed in pleasure, gripping the red hair more tightly.

When Gaara opened the button of his boyfriend's dark blue jeans, it was like some wake-up call to the blond.

"Hey, I want you to enjoy, too. I don't want that it's always me who's enjoying," Naruto pointed out, sitting up.

"But I enjoy when you enjoy," was all Gaara said, as he pushed the blond gently back to lie down. In reality, Gaara was afraid that he would act stupidly if somebody else than Kankuro touched him. But the hunger to have Naruto was so overwhelming that he wanted to do at least something sexual with the blond.

"But it's not fair," Naruto argued back, lying on the bed.

To that, Gaara didn't answer. He was too tired to argue but too virile to stop caressing his boyfriend. He unzipped the jeans and lowered them a bit, thus revealing the black and orange underwear. Determined, the redhead wanted to discard Naruto of the unnecessary clothing and started to pull the jeans and the underpants lower. The blond helped, kicking of the clothing and the socks. Being naked and having only his socks on would've looked really stupid, in Naruto's opinion.

Pleased at what he was seeing, Gaara started to unbutton his own black jeans.

That got the blond alarmed, and he put his hand on top of the redhead's hand, stopping him.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked.

"I'm doing what every man would do in a situation like this," Gaara replied nonchalantly, almost shrugging.

"But you're not just somebody!" Naruto exclaimed. "We can't have sex!"

"Why?" Gaara asked, a cold look coming to his jade eyes. He wanted it so much that the hunger burned in his veins, in his blood. Besides, he wanted to know what it would be like to be the dominant one.

"You know why! Enough time hasn't passed yet," Naruto reasoned, sitting up and pulling his knees to his chest.

"Let me have you," Gaara said, putting his hands to the blond's knees and trying to separate them.

"It wouldn't be wise," Naruto hesitated. He wanted so much that Gaara would fill him and that the redhead would make love to him but he just knew that now wasn't the right time. "Besides, how do I know you're serious, and not just acting under the influence of your hormones?" he then asked, looking away, his blue eyes sad.

"I've been pretty serious for a long time, isn't that clear to you?" Gaara asked, frustrated. "You know that I... love you, more than anything, and I only want what's best for you," he then added, looking elsewhere, too.

"Then you should understand that we're not ready yet," Naruto said, now directing his gaze to the jade eyes.

Gaara was silent for awhile, thinking what he should do. What would've Kankuro done, his only role model so far? Realizing what the answer would be, the redhead shuddered inwardly. He would never, ever force his precious blond, his personal sun, to anything. Then, another idea came to his mind...

"Please?" Gaara begged, changing his tactic. "Pretty please? I know you want it, too..."

When this didn't cause any other reaction in the blond but the blue eyes darkening, Gaara got up from the bed. Standing on the floor, he took off his clothes, leaving only his studded collar on. He then got back to the bed, to sit in front of Naruto.

"My answer is still the same," Naruto whispered.

Without saying a word, Gaara slowly pulled apart the blond's legs, the jade eyes intently staring into the blue orbs, and toppled over, between the tanned legs. Naruto lied on his back, the redhead over him, they both naked. The blond was silent, his blue eyes so wide and even... sad. And so quickly, the blue eyes were looking away, again.

Eyes never leaving the tanned face, the redhead kept on thinking. What would he do now? What would've Kankuro done? No, he didn't want to think about his brother! What would a normal man do? Tentatively, Gaara moved his erection against Naruto's, but soon adjusted himself so that the tip of his member actually brushed the blond's entrance.

The attention of the blue eyes was back in seconds, but the gaze was close to horrified, or sad, or disappointed. The blue eyes didn't twinkle, but they glistened. Glistened, like before crying.

"Naruto?" Gaara asked, alarmed. He loved Naruto, how could've he gotten this reaction from the blond!

But Naruto stayed silent, and closed his eyes. He felt so bad. This wasn't what he wanted, not at all. This wasn't what he had expected his and Gaara's first time to be. A single tear escaped from his closed eye, because of these thoughts.

The jade eyes widened because of this, as Gaara realized what he was actually doing. How could've he been so stupid! He was acting just like his brother would have, the opposite what he wanted to be like. Just moments ago he had told himself how he never wanted to pressure or force the blond to anything, yet now he was acting just like that.

"I'm so sorry..." Gaara whispered, his eyes starting to water, too. He was a monster, just like his brother was. He knew nothing about love, he realized, nothing. He had these noble thoughts and principles but what good were they for if he couldn't follow them in practice?

Quickly getting up from on top of Naruto, Gaara exited the bedroom. He went into the bathroom, and locked himself in there. He hated himself for leaving the sad blond to lie there alone, naked, and violated, but he needed some time to think. He knew better than well what it felt like to be left alone after a awkward sexual encounter, and he despised himself for now doing the same to someone he held dear.

At the moment, Gaara couldn't see anything good in himself. He saw himself as a greedy monster that didn't care about the feelings of others but only his own ones. He hated it that his own hunger had blinded him and that Kankuro's actions still haunted him, making him do things in the wrong way.

If he could've, then he would've throttled his idiotic brother right there and right now. It was Kankuro's fault that the redhead couldn't behave like a normal person. It was Kankuro's fault that the blond now lied there in the bedroom, sad and tears in his eyes. Gaara despised his brother for everything that had now gone wrong.

But after some self-reflection, he quickly realized that what had just happened was actually _his own fault_. Kankuro might've planted the seeds of monstrosity in him but in the end, it was Gaara's choice how he acted.

After realizing that it was he himself all along who to blame, Gaara was more than disappointed in himself. Rage towards himself was building up inside him, driving him to search something sharp. He found Naruto's razors but at the same time, he saw his reflection in the mirror. His eyes narrowed as he looked hatefully at his own image. He hated his spiky hair, for it reminded him about his brother who also had the same hairstyle. And his eyes, too, they were like Kankuro's. (That's why he always wore black eyeliner, so that his eyes wouldn't remind him about his brother.) And his lips, they were also the same.

Gritting his teeth, Gaara hit the reflection so hard that the mirror broke, leaving only a shattered image of him. And the sight made the redhead so sad, for it felt like he was looking straight at his broken soul.

There was blood on his knuckles, as red as his hair. Sitting down on the floor, the redhead put the razorblade to his wrist. He had convinced himself that this was what he deserved. Maybe if he hurt himself like this, the pain would go away. He was just about to open his wrist when Naruto knocked on the bathroom door.

"Gaara? What was that noise just moments ago?" Naruto asked. He had heard the mirror cracking.

"It was nothing," Gaara whispered, knowing that the blond wouldn't hear him. He was sitting on the bathroom floor, naked, feeling so low and hating the fact that he pitied himself even just a little, for he had always thought that self-pity was for losers and weak-minded people.

"Gaara? Did you break the mirror?" Naruto asked, knocking at the door.

"Go away, it's better if you're not near me," Gaara answered, not wanting to share his demons with the blond.

"Unlock the door, I want to see you," Naruto said, trying the door handle again.

"I'm sure you must hate me!" Gaara said, still holding the razorblade on his wrist, adding pressure little by little. He was afraid of the pain but he knew he deserved some sort of punishment for what he had done. He knew that he was once again acting like his brother, who often had nasty scars on his arms and it angered him. But if Kankuro had the same self-accusations that Gaara was having now, the redhead could understand the brunette a bit better.

"I could never hate you, Gaara! I love you!" Naruto answered, almost yelling.

"Then teach me how to love you back!" Gaara half-shouted in desperation. He didn't want to lose the blond, ever. He knew that he should change for the better in order to keep Naruto around him.

"Of course I will! Just open the door," Naruto promised, trying the handle again.

After a brief moment of hesitation, Gaara unlocked the door, letting the blond in.

A fully clad Naruto burst into the bathroom, his eyes at first on his naked boyfriend, then at the broken mirror, then at the razorblade on the wrist.

"Gaara! What were you thinking?" Naruto exclaimed, quickly tearing the blade out of Gaara's hand. "Never try hurt to yourself, please!" he pleaded, looking sadly at the redhead.

"Don't pity me," Gaara said. Pity was the last thing he wanted from the blond.

"I don't pity you. But I do feel sympathy for you," Naruto corrected. "And I will gladly teach you how to love but you have to want the change yourself, too."

"I do, I do!" Gaara said, desperate. He was afraid he would lose the blond if he didn't change.

"Then all you need to do is let me help you. Come on, let's get your clothes back on," Naruto said, offering his hand to the redhead who perched on the floor. Gaara took the hand and together, they left the bathroom.

Once Gaara had his clothes back on, he sat down on the bed.

"I'm so sorry I did something so disgusting!" he began. "I was acting like Kankuro, without at first realizing it. And in the bathroom, when I tried to hurt myself, I was my brother again. I hate it!"

"I guess it's only natural that you did those things, considering what you've been through. Don't worry about it, nothing irreplaceable has happened," Naruto said calmly, his blue eyes soft and understanding.

"But I hurt you, emotionally! And I don't want that you have to date some Kankuro-copy!" Gaara exclaimed, his jade eyes wide.

"I'm not dating a 'Kankuro-copy'," Naruto huffed. "And people actually sometimes hurt each other in relationships, whether they want it or not. But life goes on after that. And I want you to know that I forgave you the moment you realized what you were doing."

"But I feel like I don't deserve your forgiveness," Gaara said, heavy-hearted.

"Of course you do," Naruto said and sat down next to Gaara. He put an arm around the redhead. "Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Really?" Gaara asked, turning to look at the blond.

"Yes. And don't you forget that," Naruto said, smiling gently. The blue eyes had a kind look in them.

"Thanks," Gaara mumbled, feeling already better.

"One thing, though," Naruto suddenly said. "I think you might have to see a professional helper, to get rid of your problems. And Kankuro, too."

"I know. I think it's inevitable," Gaara admitted. He was scared of the idea of talking about his most personal thoughts with a stranger, but if it made him a better partner for Naruto, he'd gladly do it.

* * *

It wasn't January anymore but March already. The enormous snow masses had started to melt a little bit already, thanks to the upcoming spring. The sky was clearer more often now, and the sun shone brightly almost every day. It had been five weeks since Gaara had seen his brother the last time.

During this time, they had moved Kankuro to another building, and now the brunette was in a psychiatric ward.

The reason why Gaara had postponed this reunion was because he wanted the medication to have started to have an effect on his brother. Because as he had already experienced, there was no reason to talk with the brunette while he was in psychosis.

"Hello," Gaara greeted as he stepped into the room. Again, his brother was alone.

"Hi Gaara," Kankuro said enthusiastically, his expression brightening. He was sitting on the bed, under the covers, in white pajamas. "I thought that you would never come to see me again. And I guess... I would've deserved that, anyways."

That sounded like a sane talk to Gaara, who now stood on the bedside. And after a brief moment of hesitation, he sat down on the bed.

"I take it that you're feeling better now?" Gaara asked, happy that the medication had obviously done its magic on the brunette.

"A lot better, yes. But on the other hand, no," Kankuro said, looking sadly down to his lap.

"What does that mean?" Gaara asked, frowning. Was his happiness premature, after all?

"What I mean is that even though my thoughts are a lot clearer now, I've come to realize things that I've escaped before," Kankuro explained. "That means I know now how wrong I did to you. I'm sorry. I know you don't want my apology, but there, I've said it."

"Well..." Gaara began. He was glad that his brother finally seemed to see things in a normal way. He didn't know what to do with Kankuro's apology, however. He put it in his heart in storage, so that he could come back to it someday later.

"Are you going to forgive me?" Kankuro asked, having his hopes up.

"I don't know. . ." Gaara mumbled, looking away.

"Oh... I should've realized that. I'm sorry," Kankuro said, his spirits sinking.

"By the way, I told Temari about... us," Gaara said, changing the subject.

"I know. She came to see me about four weeks ago and she almost throttled me to death," Kankuro said. "She was very angry with me, and I can see why."

"I can imagine," was all Gaara said. Four weeks ago, he had talked with his sister again and told more details about the abuse. Needless to say, Temari had been angry and disgusted.

"She said she wished to see my ass in jail," Kankuro said nonchalantly, as if it didn't matter that his own sister wanted him imprisoned.

"Will you go there?" Gaara asked, feeling sad. He really hoped that his brother wouldn't end up in jail.

"I talked with the police and I told them everything, for I had nothing to lose anymore. I had already lost you... So I told them everything," Kankuro emphasized, "from my childhood to the present day. The doctors talked with the police also, and according to them, I suffer from various mental problems."

"And?" Gaara asked, wanting to know what his brother's fate would be.

"And they said that I will be convicted, but I will serve my sentence in here, in this psychiatric ward, rather than in jail," Kankuro said, not sounding very happy.

"But that's good news! Now nobody will hurt you anymore!" Gaara said, so happy that he actually hugged his brother.

And when after the comfortable amount of time, Kankuro didn't let go, Gaara started to feel uncomfortable.

"Kankuro..." Gaara said, trying to break out from the embrace.

"I'm sorry," the brunette said and let go. "I just wanted to feel you one last time. You're so petite and fragile, I'd hold you forever if I could," he said, sadness in his voice.

"But things aren't like that anymore," Gaara reminded his brother. In a way, he had felt nostalgic at first but dirty right after.

"I know. I should let go of the past. I'm seeing a psychologist who's helping me with all of this. It's been really helpful," Kankuro said.

"I know, I'm seeing one, too. When I told the police my side of the story, they booked me to a psychologist. It's been hard to tell him about everything, but I've noticed that it helps," Gaara replied. He was relieved that the both of them were getting help now.

"About your future," Gaara asked, "Where are you going to live? I mean, you did burn down the house..."

"But don't you understand, I'm serving a sentence. I can't leave this ward for five years," Kankuro said in low spirits. "Once I get better, they will let me study and work in the hospital's cafeteria downstairs, but I'm not allowed to leave this institution."

"You got five years?" Gaara was flabbergasted. He thought that his brother would've gotten a shorter amount of time.

"It'll go fast. After all, it's what I deserve," Kankuro replied.

"But... But I don't think you deserve such a fate," Gaara said, taking his brother's hand in his.

"Life is never fair," Kankuro said and took his hand back. "You've been too kind to me, anyway. I shouldn't have put you through what I did. It wasn't the fate you deserved," he then continued, looking out of the window.

Gaara was silent, and seemed to understand what his brother had meant.

"Will we be okay?" the redhead asked after a pause. He was afraid of the future. For always, Kankuro had been there for him but now that he knew that the brunette would be locked up in the ward for five years, he suddenly felt very alone.

"Yes we will, someday," Kankuro promised, looking gently at his little brother. "I can study math here, so it'll be easier for me to apply to the university once I get free. But what about you, to which faculty are you going to apply to?" he asked, thinking that of course his little brother was going to the university.

"I won't be going to the university when I graduate from high school," Gaara said uneasily. "I'm going to a vocational school, to become a barber."

"What? But you could do so much better! You have good grades and all!" Kankuro exclaimed, his eyes wide with shock.

"But it's what I want to do!" Gaara defended his choice. "It's my life, not yours."

"I know, I know..." Kankuro admitted. "Do what you want. How's it going with Naruto, by the way?" he then asked with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

". . . Fine," was all Gaara said. In reality, he had problems in knowing what real love was supposed to be like.

"Have you already... you know, had him? In that way?" Kankuro asked, curiously. He knew he shouldn't have asked it, but jealousy was burning inside of him, making him inquisitive about his little brother's private life.

"That's totally NOT your business!" Gaara almost yelled, blushing. How dared his brother ask such a question!

"I'm sorry," Kankuro apologized, looking down to his lap, a sad expression on his face.

For an answer, Gaara only stared at him, agitated and blushing. He hadn't known that his brother had actually the guts to ask about his and Naruto's private life. But his sex life was the least thing he wanted to talk about with the brunette.

"I hope that you won't repeat the mistakes I've done," Kankuro suddenly said, breaking the awkward silence. He was still not looking at the redhead. "And I hope that my doings won't haunt your actions."

"But I'm responsible for my own actions," Gaara said, not wanting to blame his brother too much.

"We all are. We can't hide behind what's happened to us, and that way justify our doings," Kankuro reasoned.

"You're right," Gaara accepted. He wondered how his brother had become so wise, if that was the right word, in such a short time. Or maybe Kankuro had been like that for always, and Gaara just hadn't realized it until now, when the brunette could think clearly. In any case, his brother's clever insights made Gaara appreciate him even more. The brunette had really made an impression on the redhead.

A silence fell over them, because neither of them found anything more to say. Kankuro was looking out of the window, and Gaara stared at the floor.

". . . How have you gotten along, by the way?" Kankuro asked quietly, his gaze still on the window.

"Pretty fine," Gaara said. "I applied financial support from the state and now I get enough money per month to pay the expenses."

"That's good. I've been worried about you," Kankuro said and turned to look at his little brother.

"I think I have to go now," Gaara said, getting up. Back home, he had homework to do.

"So soon?" Kankuro asked. "Well, I guess you have your own life to live out there," he then realized.

"But I'll be back. I'll come to see you weekly now, if that's okay," Gaara suggested. Now that his brother seemed to be alright and what was more important, sane, he would gladly visit more often.

"I look forward to that," Kankuro only said, smiling a little smile.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you then. Bye," Gaara replied.

"Bye," Kankuro said, and watched as the redhead walked out of the room and out of his life again. After his little brother had exited the room, something changed in Kankuro's eyes. They became darker, matching the mysterious smile on his lips.

* * *

It was now the middle of May and Naruto was full of energy. It was his favorite time of the year. He was in the bedroom, watching the repeat broadcast of "Justice prevails" from TV. He had opened the window, to let in the summer night's gentle air.

He was so happy. He and Gaara lived together, and Kankuro was no more shadowing their happiness. And the redhead seemed to heal, albeit slowly, thanks to the therapy lessons and the blond's help. Naruto had noticed that Gaara's nightmares had almost ceased. The redhead had never told the blond about his nightly dreams, but in the beginning, Naruto had been waking up almost every night because Gaara had mumbled quite loudly things like 'Stop', 'Let me be' and even 'Help'.

At times like those, Naruto had always nudged the redhead, and when Gaara had woken up, Naruto had pretended to be asleep. He had known that most likely, Gaara would want to keep his nightly visions to himself. And he had also realized that if the redhead wanted to share something, he would.

Neither of them had found a job for summer, thanks to a global financial crisis that affected also Konoha, but gladly they got support from the state so they could pay all the expenses. Naruto wasn't very disappointed that he would 'have to' be all summer without doing anything. Gaara, on the other hand, would've liked to have something to do. The redhead had gotten used to study during summer from Kankuro's old books about what he himself would be taught the next school year. But now when the brunette was gone, Gaara felt oddly... free.

Talking about Gaara, the redhead was currently sitting at the kitchen table, drawing. During the healing process, Naruto had noticed, the redhead's drawings had gone from violent and depressing to more positive ones. The redhead often wanted to paint the blond and whenever he did so, he made sure that the pictures were sunny and full of energy, just like Naruto.

As the TV show Naruto had been watching ended, the blond turned off the device and went to see what Gaara was doing.

"Can I see it?" Naruto asked, as he sat across from the redhead. Gaara was fervently drawing something with charcoal.

"Just a moment," Gaara promised, as he drew some simple lines. In no time, the sketch was ready. "Here," the redhead then said, giving the piece of paper to the blond.

Naruto's eyebrows shot up as he saw with what his boyfriend had been working on.

"My psychologist told me that I should draw my dreams for the future more often. That way, they would be easier for me to achieve," Gaara explained, looking at the blond's blushing cheeks.

"Eh... Are you going to show this to your psychologist?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his head uneasily. In the picture, there were two males—Naruto and Gaara to be precise—making love.

"Of course not! Don't be silly," Gaara muttered, taking the picture back. He put it into the file where he kept his drawings, so that it would be out of sight. To tell the truth, he was a bit embarrassed for showing the drawing to his boyfriend.

"Is that what you dream of?" Naruto then asked, his blue, kind eyes focused on the redhead.

". . . Yes," Gaara admitted. "Isn't that what you dream of, too?"

Naruto blushed again. It was true that he, too, dreamed of the fulfillment of their relationship. But he also knew that it was worth the wait.

Gaara stood up and as he did so, Naruto did, also. The redhead found his way near the blond and for a moment, they both just stared each other in the eyes. The blue orbs were shiny and kind, full of love. The jade pools were calm and observing, as if searching for some answers.

"Would you like to try again?" Gaara whispered, lifting his hands to caress the whiskered cheeks.

The blue eyes widened, not in shock but in surprise. Naruto let his boyfriend trail the old scars on his face, while he stared deeply into the jade orbs. Their eye contact was so intense that the blond wondered if the redhead could actually see into his quivering soul. His soul was shaking because of the burning feelings and frenetic wishes he had in his heart. Gaara had conquered all of the blond's heart, and so these churning feelings and wishes were dedicated to the redhead, the ultimate dream of Naruto.

For an answer to the question that had been left in the air, Naruto leaned in and kissed Gaara on the lips. The redhead still had his hands on the blond's cheeks and during the kiss, they moved to the blond hair, caressing the golden locks.

As the kiss ended, their eye contact was the same intense one as before. As if being able to read each others' thoughts, they mutually agreed, in silence, to head towards the bedroom.

Once in the room, Gaara took Naruto into his arms, entwining them both into a gentle embrace. He wanted to show how tender he could be. He wanted to offer his love to Naruto, who had so kindly, yet secretly, loved him from the very beginning. He wanted that his own love, the one he was offering, would be pure and free from the shadows of his past. And most of all, he wanted Naruto to realize that his love was unselfish and only meant for the blond alone.

In silence, once they had broken free of their passionate embrace, they began to slowly discard each other's clothes. There were many pauses, many meaningful glances, which were asking 'are you sure' and 'is this what you want', so that neither of them would accidentally do anything wrong or unpleasant.

When they were naked, a warm summer breeze hit their beautiful bodies, but neither of them paid attention to the wind or to the open window. All they could see were each other. Naruto admired the pale white skin, which seemed to give even more color to Gaara's blood red hair. The redhead adored the beautiful tanned skin, which almost seemed like it was shining golden tones in the midnight's gentle light. And as the night's gentle shadows flung over them, they went to lie on the bed.

Gaara was settled over Naruto, looking kindly at the dark blue orbs. For the first time, there was something wild in those blue depths, something that screamed to be let loose. A little smile like expression came to Gaara's face because of this. He, too, wanted this, desperately.

"Haa... " Naruto moaned, as he felt his lover's arousal against him. He grinded his hips, earning a lustful gasp from Gaara.

Hunger was building up inside of Gaara, hunger for deeper contact, and he wasn't sure how long he could stay this calm. Naruto's scent wafted into his nose, a scent that had musk in it, and Gaara knew that it could drive him wild very fast, if he let his feelings overpower him.

Naruto had entwined his arms behind his lover's back, to pull their bodies closer. He needed, he desperately wanted as much skin contact as he could get. His complexion burned pleasantly where their skins touched, sending a tingling feeling all over his body.

"I need to prepare you," Gaara murmured, kissing the tanned neck lovingly.

"There's lube in the nightstand," Naruto told, letting go of the redhead so that he could get the tube.

Lovingly, Gaara began to prepare his lover for things to come. He tried his best to be so tender that Naruto wouldn't feel any pain at all. The blond let out a sigh as he felt his lover's fingers penetrate him, stretch him, teasingly yet gently. The more the blond moaned and gasped the more aroused Gaara felt.

Naruto lay on his back, his eyes closed, blushing. All kind of sensations crisscrossed his mind, as he let his lover pleasure him. Oh, how he wanted to have his lover already! He wanted to have Gaara on top of him, inside of him, moving, making love to him, tenderly but with passion. He knew he was impatient, but he couldn't help it. He had dreamed of this so long, on so many lonely nights that now that he was actually doing this, he wanted to have this fulfillment—both mental and physical—even though he didn't want to rush matters.

"Being impatient?" Gaara asked, smirking, as he saw his lover wriggle in want.

"I can't help it. I want you too much," Naruto admitted, opening his eyes to look at the jade pools.

As Gaara had used enough time for the preparation, he lubed his erection, too, and positioned himself between Naruto's legs. The blue eyes were heavy with feelings, as he looked into them. Without words, but with his own eyes, he asked if his lover was ready.

Nodding, Naruto entwined his legs around Gaara's hips, and his arms, he put on the pale shoulders.

Slowly, Gaara began to push inside. Naruto moaned, and with his legs, he hugged his lover more tightly, encouraging the redhead to push deeper.

"Haa..." Gaara sighed, as he was forced to go deeper inside.

"Gaa—ra!" Naruto groaned, moving his arms behind his lover's back, allowing the redhead closer.

The blond let out some incoherent noises during the process of Gaara fully entering him, and the lusty moans made Gaara wild. As soon as he was fully inside, he let out a wavering breath. "N-Naruto..."

Naruto totally enjoyed the moment of fulfillment, he felt so loved, so complete, and so... passionate, that it was hard for him to stay still.

As if sensing his lover's mood, Gaara started a steady rhythm, which was slow at first but which turned into frantic quite soon. This pleased the blond, who with his moans encouraged the redhead to keep up the pace.

Gaara's skin was like on fire, for all the passion he had kept inside was now exploding. Making love to Naruto felt heavenly, it was pure bliss. He had never even dared to dream that true love would feel as wonderful as this.

"Please... Adjust your angle a bit so that—AAAAh!" Naruto started but towards the end of the sentence, his voice turned into a yell. Gaara had just hit his sweet spot, and Naruto felt like crying happy tears because of that. One tear escaped his eye, and it immediately caught Gaara's attention.

"Am I hurting you?" the redhead asked, stopping his moving.

"Quite the contrary," Naruto sighed, not pleased that his lover had stopped so suddenly. "This feels wonderful!"

Smiling in a relieved way, Gaara picked up the pace again, making sure he hit the blond's prostate each time he thrust in.

Naruto was going wild. Each time his lover pushed in, he became more frantic. He clawed Gaara's back, pushing his nails into the soft skin. He couldn't help but repeat his lover's sweet name all over again, moaning it, groaning incoherent words. Naruto had never felt anything quite like this. This passion that coursed through him was new and he had never even believed that he could feel something this... animalistic.

Gaara entwined his fingers around Naruto's leaking erection and started to pump it in sync of his own thrusts. The blond seemed to more than enjoy it because the clawing became more hectic, more animalistic. Gaara adored the pure passion that was written all over the tanned face. To him, it looked like Naruto was in some ecstasy.

Naruto was wholly devoted to his lover, his heart, body and soul. He wanted to give himself to Gaara completely, and he knew that the redhead felt the same. He had never had a lover like Gaara, and he was happy to know that this would be forever. His feelings were getting so intense that Naruto believed his explosion was very close. And it wasn't a wonder at all, given how well Gaara was showering him with love.

"G-Gaara..." Naruto panted, moving his hands to the pale shoulders and squeezing them. Gaara really made his toes curl. "I'm about t-to..."

As Gaara heard this, he concentrated on his moving, fastening the pace as much as he could. As his lover's moans grew louder, he knew it would be only a matter of time when—

"Haaa... aaaAH!" Naruto screamed, arching his back, his grip on the redhead's shoulders tightening dramatically. He came all over his stomach and chest, a sweet, powerful release. He could feel his whole body, for every fiber in him felt like on fire.

Gaara watched this all with lidded eyes full of lust and passion. Seeing Naruto come so wholeheartedly made shivers run up and down his spine. Fastening his frantic pace, he was going towards his own release. It sure didn't take long for him to reach his peak as he looked at Naruto's blushed, ecstasy-filled face.

"N-Naru—" Gaara gasped suddenly, pushing heatedly in, gripping the sheets. "Haaaa—ah!" he moaned, as the waves of release hit him with full force. This was heaven, pure heaven. With shaking body, Gaara collapsed on top of Naruto, spent and feeling more blissful than ever before in his life. The spasms of his release still washed over his whole body.

"I love you," Naruto whispered, eyes lidded, admiring his sweaty lover.

"I love you, too," Gaara replied, gazing to the amazing blond's blue eyes. This was bliss, still, after all the spent energy and passion. This was where he was the happiest, next to his precious boyfriend.

Once they had showered themselves clean, the two lovers had gone to the bed, ready to let sleep conquer their minds. They were tired, spent and oh, so happy.

"I never, ever believed that life would offer me something like this," Gaara whispered to his pretty boyfriend. "And I mean you and your love, our love."

"I'm happy that things turned out to be like this," Naruto replied. He snuggled closer to the redhead, his beautiful lover.

As the darkening night and its dusky shadows fell over them, the two boys in love became quiet.

Not long after their quietness, Naruto fell fast asleep and snored, and this amused Gaara. Hugging his precious person more tightly, Gaara reflected his life. His life before meeting Naruto and sometime after that had been really hopeless and dark. There had been no light, no escape from his brother's claws. And back then, he had thought that his life would be like that until he died, naturally or because Kankuro would kill him under an episode.

But those seemed like distant, murky memories now. His brother was doing much better now, thanks to the help he was receiving. And Gaara himself was feeling better now, better than ever, for he too was getting help—and what was more important—he was being loved. Naruto's unselfish, sunny, healing love had really made miracles in Gaara's life. He swore to himself that every day, he would try his best to be the person Naruto deserved. And he knew he would succeed, given that he had the blond's love as motivation.

Eternally, he wanted to bathe in the light Naruto shone around. And now he knew he could. Naruto was his own, personal sun, his joy-bringer, savior and lover, everything he could ever need.

He had never believed he was capable of being this happy, so wholeheartedly. But now he was, and he wasn't sure what gods he should thank. Right then, the blond spoke some slurred words and cuddled himself better in Gaara's arms. It made the redhead smile, and he kissed the tanned forehead, gently, lovingly.

The future was going to be bright.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kankuro couldn't get any sleep, despite all the sedatives they daily put into him. He was still awake and alone in his silent, white little room. His thoughts kept haunting him, so he couldn't close his eyes and rest.

He wouldn't stop thinking about Gaara. This obsession of his didn't let him be, it couldn't let go. He was disappointed of the fact that Gaara would choose the stupid blondie over him. He had, after all, given his little brother everything he could ever need.

The laws of society said that acting on sexual feelings about one's kin was wrong. He hated being labeled as a user. He had passionate feelings about his beautiful little brother; they felt so justified, natural and so _right_. Deep down, he didn't find his thoughts morally suspicious. He hated the society for preventing him from being who he was and for treating him like a criminal. He saw himself as a person in love, and as one whose feelings weren't wrong or unacceptable.

He knew that Gaara was the one he'd always love. Nobody else was even given a chance to charm his heart. Only the redhead would make his soul flutter. Only Gaara could quench his hunger, and with this thought, lust coursed through his body. He didn't understand why the love he felt was wrong, he had the right to be happy, just like everybody else. How dare they call him a monster!

On the surface, he would act like any other man. He was nice, understanding and _moral_. To the hospital staff, he could easily admit he was a wrongdoer, and that he deserved to be locked up. It wasn't easy to play his role but he didn't have a choice.

What made him angry was that the blondie had snatched his precious puppet away like that, cutting all the strings in the process. This was the first time Gaara had abandoned him like this, despite all the hard work Kankuro had done to keep the redhead around. But he also knew that this would be the last time for the redhead to do so, he would make sure of that.

With these dangerous thoughts, Kankuro stared at the ceiling and pictured the future in his mind. Five years would go fast. Then, he would be free to be himself again. Gaara would still be young and attractive. Naruto could be out of the picture by then, or would be easily cast aside by him.

And what made him the happiest was that after five years, Gaara wouldn't be underage anymore but an adult, and their relationship wouldn't be illegal anymore. It wasn't going to be a publicly accepted one either, but the brunette didn't care. He was used to hiding things and keeping up façades.

Smiling, Kankuro thought about the future and its possibilities. But his smile soon turned into a sinister smirk, as he thought how one day, Gaara would be all his again.

Yes... The future was going to be bright.

* * *

**-THE END-**

**

* * *

A/N:** _Answers to your questions: After having been a few days in the hospital, Kankuro called his boss and resigned from his job at the café. And Kankuro's car didn't burn down with the house but was left on the front yard, where somebody stole it after two and a half weeks._

_I'm very insecure about this chapter. (I hope you won't hate this chapter.) I've been told that I have an unhealthily low self-confidence._

_How would anyone like Gaara know anything about true love at first? He had to make some mistakes before he actually knew what making love means. It would've been unrealistic, in my opinion, if Gaara was a perfect lover right after the abuse._

_If somebody has a better idea what Kankuro's diagnose should be, please tell me. I'm not a psychologist, after all._

_I know that Gaara and Naruto's sex scene came out to be more romantic than realistic. I know Gaara probably wouldn't be so great, given that it was his first time on top, but as I shaped my writing to the direction of Gaara and Naruto being insecure, fumbling, inexperienced lovers, I got a scene of two teenage boys doing it more technically than romantically. And that, if anything, would've been a lame way to end this story._

_**About the very ending of this story: Waaa, don't hate me! **__I never said this story wouldn't have an ending like this. I had to end it this way, because Kankuro is STILL my favorite character in this story! I know it's crazy but I adore him. And the ending would've been boring if Gaara and Naruto would've lived their lives together forever without having to face any challenges in the future. I know I'm cruel because I didn't give Kankuro a chance to heal the way Gaara did. But abusers rarely heal completely. They will always remain the scum they are. At least I have that kind of cynical point of view._

_Thank you for reading! Thanks for your attention!_


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